Monday!

[mae0111]

It's a beautiful sunny Monday here! How was your weekend? What's up this week?

[mae0111]

My weekend felt super busy after kind of a weird week. My kids were on vacation last week, so DH and DD1 left on Friday morning to visit MIL and BIL and family. DD2 and I spent the day in the city, and ran some errands when we got home.

Saturday I took the dog for a long walk, and then DD2 had a soccer tournament about 30 mins away. One game Sat and 2 on Sunday. I posted about it in the Sports/Activity thread. She went to her friend's house for bit after while I ran more errands. Then Sunday we left at 1030 for her tournament, and got home at around 4. I took the dog for a quick walk and then we went out to dinner.

DH and DD1 are on their way home, and I'm heading into the office shortly. I'm having lunch with my boss, and I'm planning to tell him that I need to take a step back from their group. Life is... too much right now. I'm managing a lot. Probably not more than anyone else, but it feels... overwhelming, and I need to regroup. I'm not looking forward to it.

My kids are on vacation again this week. They have a bunch of appointments, practices, etc., so I'm trying to think of little things we can do for fun but still make it to all of our appointments. Oh, and work here and there.

[librarychica]

We are supposed to get a storm and even some hail early today but so far I haven’t seen a drop of rain.

We had a wonderful weekend. I took Friday off and went with my best friend and our girls to the zoo. We had a wonderful time. The AC in my car died on our way back but the kids were good sports and it isn’t too hot yet. That’s a bit annoying.

Saturday and Sunday we had no plans and had a ton of family time playing an escape room board game, watching movies. H and DD1 spent a whole morning painting while DD2 and I ran errands. It was pretty idyllic, honestly.

This week I’m bucking down to focus on work. The kids are home for spring break and will be hanging around, but Wednesday afternoon I’ll take them to my parents until Sunday. DD1 has an eye doctor appointment too. She wants to try contacts. We have a double date planned with friends Friday that I am really looking forward to.

[twinmomma]

I'm back from my work trip! I got back last night, ate some food and went to bed by 8 PM and slept like a rock. The trip was great! It was a very smooth year, no major issues or crises to deal with. There were even some points where my staff and I were looking at each other like "What do we do now? We actually relax?!" I love my team, we had a great time together. My assistant is the same age and has kids the same age, so we get along great. And my other employee is a younger guy who's been with me since he graduated from college. We're like his big sisters/moms. He told us he's going to propose to his girlfriend this year and we were so excited to help him plan it! haha

This morning was a bit of a rough wakeup. I woke up to DD1 facetiming me crying, saying she just really misses me and wants to see me. Even though I'm home, they won't come back to my house until Wednesday and I think it was killing her that I'm back, but not really for her yet. I'm going to drop some costume stuff off at play rehearsal this afternoon for her so I can give her a big hug in person instead of leaving it in the front office for her to pick up. It's tech week and their performance is this weekend, so it'll be a busy week! But a lot of fun.

[sandandsea]

I have a WWWMD question.

Ds2 (7yo) was playing basketball with a group of boys at recess. As they were playing he said “you’re horrible” to another boy who then choked him. Two hands around the neck hard enough to leave red marks that the nurse saw but went away before the end of the school day. Ds got away, didn’t fight back, and went on playing basketball. Another boy told the teacher when they got back to class who sent ds to the nurse. He’s fine physically and emotionally and had totally moved on. They talk to the principal the next day and the principal calls and can’t tell me about the other boy but wants to take fun Friday away from ds for saying something mean. What would you do?


Ds had said originally that the group of boys had already decided the teams weren’t fair (4v 5 and two bad players on both teams, etc) and that all the boys say things while playing. After talking to the principal ds told me he was the first to say something and the other boys only said things like “I’m the best on my team, X is the best on their team” etc so not directly towards other players but self proclaiming rank. Ds was not involved in those.

While ds shouldn’t say mean things I think taking away fun Friday is a bit extreme for one comment during basketball (and it was only 1 comment not constant egging). And isn’t getting choked punishment enough?

I talked to ds and he’s fine missing fun Friday but idk how much I should fight for my kid here vs let whatever happens happen. Dh and I have differing views on this (he thinks we should fight back more).

If it matters ds is the youngest/smallest of the bunch and a very sweet kid. He’s not a bully and it’s not his personality in any way. Ds1 just moved in to middle school but has a very different personality than ds2 and part of me thinks the principal is putting some of that on ds2.

Please don’t quote as I’ll ds later since he’s only 7.

[supertrooper1]

I really enjoyed this weekend. It was sunny and beautiful all weekend. Saturday was Beau's DIL's baby shower. Her grandma is so nice and welcoming. I sat next to Beau's mom and his sister and had a nice conversation with them.

Sunday, Beau left early to go riding with his son. I took DS to check out a newish mini golf pizza pub in our area and had a great time. It was unlimited mini golf, so we did two rounds of 18 holes, played a board game, corn hole, a giant Jenga set and had pizza. I ended up sitting outside for a few hours when we got home just soaking up the sun. I also got some cooking and cleaning done and ready to start the week.

[sdlaura]

sandandsea , we also recently had a choking incident while playing sports at school - another kid choked my 6-year-old and ripped his shirt. I don't think there was any instigation from my son. Other boy went to the principal and we got an apology note.

I think in your case, I would not interfere. I would disentangle the other kid's actions (hopefully he had consequences that were worse?) from your son's actions. I don't think saying what he said is that bad, but if the school wants to have a (seemingly relatively mild?) consequence for unkind language, I'd be OK with that. I try to pick my battles with the school and it doesn't seem like they're super out of line on wanting to discourage unkindness. I want to send the message to my kids that I'll fight for them if there's some major injustice, but I also don't want to be the parent who swoops in and interferes whenever they're the smallest amount wronged (not saying that's what you're doing).

[erbear]

Weekend was good. I am having a colonoscopy tomorrow and it's really ramping up my anxiety. I'm nervous about the results of the test itself, but also the logistics of the fasting and the prep work and the no sleep and the getting to the hospital on time. It's a lot and I'd like to fast forward the next 24 hours.

Spring break starts Friday and I can't wait. I'm taking the kids to Colorado to see my family, which should be fun. We're yurt camping at Tennessee Pass one night. I wish DH could come.

[sdlaura]

Our weekend was good between all the sports and birthday parties. Saturday was pretty crazy, but I actually got some time to sit and read in the sun yesterday.

Our puppy turned 4 months over the weekend. She has doubled in size (5 to 10 lbs) since we got her two months ago. She is also finally making it all night in her crate and pretty well house trained! So that's exciting. And she's the cutest thing ever (not that I'm biased or anything...)

This week I have work travel Wednesday and Thursday, we have friends in town Friday night and Saturday (my BFF/coworker who lives in Portland), and then we fly out for spring break early Sunday. So I really need to get myself together!

[waverly]

We had a good weekend, but I am not feeling exceptionally great in general. DD and DS finished up indoor soccer. DD had a birthday party. We got them signed up for a hard to get into camp, but on different dates.

We went out to dinner and this drunk 55 year old women (mentioning age because old enough to know better) bumped into DH 3 times. He said Watch Out aggressively so she comes over and puts her arms all over me not fighting but like that drunk being on top of someone and was saying some crap that I don't even know what she was saying- slurring words and stuff. So that was not fun, and I was very unhappy about this drunk lady all over me. Yes I could have been more agressive with her but that would have made it worse since she was responding to DH saying watch out agressively, so me yanking her off of me would have been a fist fight or something that I wasn't interested in being involved in. Celebrating St. Patricks day is just an excuse for people to be wasted around here, and I hate that part of it. And it was only 6 pm- everyone had been day drinking.

We went mini golfing with friends and had fun but then DD was being a pill later. She's been crabby for a while lately, so I hope that calms down maybe with a break from soccer. Her legs are all bruised and someone stepped on her in soccer, and that is bothering her.

[soccermama]

We had a pretty good weekend, although I never get as much done as I had hoped! Friday night I took the kids out & we got pizza and ice cream for dinner, ha!

Saturday was such great weather! DS had his soccer game, H and I took a long walk after we got home. DD had plans with her friends Sat. night, and we also let both kids have their BFF's sleepover Sat. night.

Yesterday was just hanging out at the house and doing a few errands/chores.

[waverly]

sandandsea, I think my main concern is that the child who is going around choking people gets addressed in the proper manner because that is inexusable and needs to have consequences. So I would reiterate that. And let them know that all the boys have been smack talking, so they should address the group dynamics.

[rere]

Great weekend. The band Saturday was awesome. We were front and center and danced the entire time. It was 11 when it ended and I went home and I promptly went to bed and felt great Sunday. My friends ended up partying after to who knows when. I'm too old, I thought they'd mellow out by now, but nope.

Dd and Ds are back. Dd had an amazing experience with no water, electricity, and rice and beans diet. She didn't want to come back. So I pouted most of Saturday that I'm probably going to have kids strung to the 4 corners of the earth in the military and as a missionary and I may as well throw a dart at a map and start from scratch.

Today my staff and I are taking the day to clean and inventory to storage area. So far we found a rubber penis in a leather doctor's bag, that's public health for ya.

[mommyatty]

waverly, I think you’re on the right track. I would say that while you understand that trash-talking needs to be minimized, it’s happening universally, and this is the first time anyone is being punished for it. And that yeah, physical violence isn’t okay.

[186momx]

sandandsea, Personally I think taking away basketball for X days sounds like a better punishment. I wouldn't burn it down that he is losing 1 Friday funday but I would ask DS if he knows what punishment the other kid got. If it is the same punishment then I would be questioning the admin.

Weekend was updated in sports thread. I did get laundry done but just skipped the grocery shopping. This week is relatively quiet.

DD's school has a big BINGO night Thursday from 5-7. DD's friends, parents, and teachers all think I should get off work early and let DD skip practice to attend. I despise BINGO and even if I could get off early I 100% wouldn't want to go to school and be in a loud noisy place. DD doesn't want to skip practice because "its the only fun week out of the whole year" as state was last weekend and this is the week they get to chill out and do crazy up-up skills, dance warmups (50 ways to say goodbye), stick it comps, etc." I just don't get these type of school functions and it isn't mandatory.

[waverly]

186momx, I love (sarcasm) how over 3 people have opinions on how you and DD should live your life regarding a non mandatory random Bingo event.

[sandandsea]

Thank you! I agree with all of the above and will let Friday be no fun and let it die. . I am mildly annoyed that not only did he already have a physical consequence in getting choked but now has to have a second emotional punishment because adults are selectively reacting to smack talk.

DH is annoyed because he got choked and isn’t that lesson enough? Choking is 1000% unacceptable and should never happen no matter what. no adults saw it or were there so how is this allowed to happen? So if ds hadn’t gotten choked there’d be no consequence at all for ds but because he got hurt (and then in the heat of the moment made good choices to not escalate the situation or use physical violence) he now has a consequence for a super minor infringement but no reward for making a good choice after. And he questioned the marshaling of mild “trash talk” during basketball, a game known for trash talk because what if the kid IS terrible or made a terrible shot or whatever and ds just spoke the truth? He was obviously kidding but I think he was more upset ds got choked because that crosses a line and is way worse than punching or kicking to DH.

I chalked it up to they’re 7 and learning. and probably an okay life lesson because ds2 is very talkative and very honest and needs to work on his filter.

[mae0111]

So I spoke to my administrative boss yesterday. I told him that life is a lot to manage right now. He immediately asked what he could do to make things work. Reduce hours? Press pause and take time? Just a few days off? What could he take off my plate? He said everyone loves working with me and he doesn't want to see me go. I know logically that he's in self-preservation mode because he's already down 2 people, but I also know that, even with the frustrations, it's a pretty good gig.

It's difficult because there are not really clear things I can take off my plate from a work perspective. Things ebb and flow, and it seems like all of the urgent and time consuming things in work/life happen all at once. It's nice to work for someone that has a family-first mentality, but of the 4 people that I'm kind of working for, only one sort of gets how busy things can be with kids this age and a partner that is largely unavailable during the week.

So I'm going to try to just do better with putting up boundaries and working fewer hours for a while, and I'll see how it goes.

[mommyatty]

mae0111-

Make a list. Things that suck about your job that are within their control. Like having 4 bosses. Like they’re constantly switching what they want and not clearly communicating. Like not valuing your contributions. Now is the perfect time to put up some healthy boundaries!

[mae0111]

mommyatty, you are very right. I was about to launch into the multiple bosses thing and Boss 1 volunteered that Boss 2 can be difficult... he is a BIG IDEA guy but he's also a "throw it all against the wall and see what sticks" guy... and that's really hard when he wants to try ALL THE THINGS with one part time person and no budget. Boss #1 gets it (Boss #1 is president, Boss #2 is CEO... woof). So Boss #1 is trying to get Boss #2 under control... and that will help a lot. If he can do it.

I've raised the communication issue - I did that in my annual review in December. I explained how hard it makes things when I'm not told about key business initiatives or changes in direction. Boss #1 acknowledged this and said it's a personal and professional goal of his to get better at communicating. I think he struggles with me because I'm part time. The other part time person is the bookkeeper, so she doesn't really need to understand the business strategy.

So I can give it a chance, and if it continues to be bad or I continue to struggle with boundaries, I can walk away in a week/month/year/whenever. I'm hoping that a new office manager will change things. The old one was amazing, but is staying home with her kids and just taking on some smaller projects. She was definitely not appreciated until she was gone.

[rere]

Update to Monday. So in the storage room clean yesterday we threw out a lot of weird stuff. Old educational books on heath, displays, fake plants, a rubber penis in a medical bag. Someone came by on a bike today and raided the dumpster and took all these things in a broken tote we tossed including the penis. On persons trash is another one's treasure I assume.

[waverly]

rere, I just saw this. LOL