House / Life WWYD

[mrsmayhem]

We were lucky to buy in a HCOL area before prices sky-rocketed. We bought what we thought would be a starter home and we're still here almost a decade and a half later. It's perfectly fine and has just enough space for our family, but we'd like more space to spread out and entertain, and nicer finishes. Renovating is not attractive to us for a variety of reasons. 


Every time we go through these options, we end up just staying where we are. But we are lucky to be in a good financial position and...what are we waiting for? I kind of want to enjoy the now a bit more while the kids are still home with us. 

So what would you do in our situation? Here are the options:

Buy a bigger house locally.
The price would be about a million higher than our current home. Our payments would be an additional $8K/month (stupid interest rates). This would extend our early retirement plans by 5-8 years. The catch is - it would be an upgrade, but it still wouldn't be our dream house. To get everything we really want, we'd have to spend more like 2 million more, which we can't afford and still retire early.

Stay put for another 10 years.
We're on track to retire at 48/50, right as our kids are graduating HS. We could then sell our current house and do whatever we want at that point.

Buy a vacation house and keep our current place.
This would cost us an extra $4K / month and extend our retirement plans by about 4-5 years. There is a place we love to travel to and it would be a fun way to build memories and spend time with friends and family. I'm not sure we'd use it often enough to justify the price, though. 

Sell our current house and retire somewhere cheap now. 
If we sold now we could live on about 80% of our current spending, which would be (relatively) easily accomplished by moving to a LCOL area. We don't really want to take our kids away from their friends, schools, etc. though, and my H isn't really ready to leave his job. 
 

[simpsongal]

Can you explain why renovating isn’t an option? Having just gone through a major 5 month reno I get it but sometimes that’s just the best option esp if you’ve got a great interest rate locked in your mortgage.

[mccallister84]

There’s stuff we don’t love about our house, but I love what our house enables us to do.

And honestly, we have a 2.25% interest rate - I am not moving, ever. The idea of spending so much more on interest makes me sick to my stomach.

[mrsmayhem]

Mar 21, 2024 16:25:03 GMT -5 simpsongal said:

Can you explain why renovating isn’t an option? Having just gone through a major 5 month reno I get it but sometimes that’s just the best option esp if you’ve got a great interest rate locked in your mortgage.

I don't love the bones of the house. I'm afraid we'd spend hundreds of thousands on the reno and still not love it. Also, I don't think it would be the best financial move because we'd then be one of the nicest houses in the neighborhood. Finally, I simply don't want to deal with it. 

[themoneytree]

Do you love the location of your home? I think that’s the most important aspect to me. If you love the location but the house is just ok, I would probably stay put. If I didn’t love the location or the house I might move but a million or two more seems like a lot. I would probably wait and if the rates came down I would jump.

[mrsmayhem]

Mar 21, 2024 16:52:27 GMT -5 themoneytree said:

Do you love the location of your home? I think that’s the most important aspect to me. If you love the location but the house is just ok, I would probably stay put. If I didn’t love the location or the house I might move but a million or two more seems like a lot. I would probably wait and if the rates came down I would jump.

We like our location because of the friends and community that we've built over time. It's a nice spot on a cul-de-sac with friends nearby and a nice, private yard. So in those ways we like it, but it's not our ideal neighborhood in general. There are others that we'd like even better because of walkability, access to water/trails, etc. 

[themoneytree]

Mar 21, 2024 16:54:11 GMT -5 mrsmayhem said:

Mar 21, 2024 16:52:27 GMT -5 themoneytree said:

Do you love the location of your home? I think that’s the most important aspect to me. If you love the location but the house is just ok, I would probably stay put. If I didn’t love the location or the house I might move but a million or two more seems like a lot. I would probably wait and if the rates came down I would jump.

We like our location because of the friends and community that we've built over time. It's a nice spot on a cul-de-sac with friends nearby and a nice, private yard. So in those ways we like it, but it's not our ideal neighborhood in general. There are others that we'd like even better because of walkability, access to water/trails, etc. 

If you didn’t upsize could you more to a better location without it costing a million plus more?

[mrsmayhem]

[/quote]
If you didn’t upsize could you more to a better location without it costing a million plus more? [/quote]


Either bigger house or better location would be about a million more. To get both would be 2 million more.

[rhian]

How much of what you want could you get by buying a new house locally? How much would it improve your quality of life?

How much do you like/dislike your jobs? What would be the effect of working for 5-8 more years?

I'd do one of the first two options depending on your answers to that. The other two don't seem to have enough benefit or too many disadvantages to be worth it.

[supertrooper1]

I voted to stay where you are.
$8K per month EXTRA seems like a lot when you still wouldn't have your dream home.
$48,000 a year could be some pretty nice vacations throughout the year instead of buying a vacation home that comes with upkeep and maintenance costs.
If your H isn't ready to leave his job and you don't want to uproot your kids, why move to a LCOL area now?

[mrsmayhem]

Mar 21, 2024 17:17:57 GMT -5 rhian said:

How much of what you want could you get by buying a new house locally? How much would it improve your quality of life?

How much do you like/dislike your jobs? What would be the effect of working for 5-8 more years?

I'd do one of the first two options depending on your answers to that. The other two don't seem to have enough benefit or too many disadvantages to be worth it.

We'd probably gain 1000 sq ft, an extra bedroom, space for a bigger dining table to have more people over, and just overall nicer.

Right now we have low ceilings, the house is becoming more dated, and I frequently feel claustrophobic in it...possibly because the kids are bigger and louder. It's really not that small, I just feel like I notice its flaws now and more as time goes on.

I'm not sure it would drastically improve our quality of life, but I do really value a nice, peaceful, beautiful environment. I love going to nice AirBNBs and just enjoying a nice, beautiful home.

DH likes his job and doesn't feel the need to stop working anytime soon. I think he's okay with extending a little but any more than 5 years still feels like a bad trade to both of us. I am a SAHM.

[cricketwife]

I voted to stay put but it’s hard to say without knowing the details of your family, house, etc. We were in a starter home for 15 years….way longer than I wanted. 1100 sq ft 3 beds (one was a walk through) 1 bath and 1940’s closets, lol. (2 adults and 2 kids) We moved two years ago to a house double the size and two baths. It’s also a much better location so it’s hard for me to isolate better house vs better location, but overall it has been absolutely life changing. Our quality of life has improved so, so much. I would definitely spend 5 years more working to enjoy our current quality of life compared to before. However, we are enjoying a low interest rate and a lot of the variables in my situation are different from yours. It also sounds like your house may not be *that* bad, though I know it’s all perspective and we all have our personal preferences so it only matters how you feel in it.

[sadlebred]

Could you do a few things to spruce the house up? Maybe new countertops and a backsplash in the kitchen. A new vanity in the main bath, maybe replace older carpet? That wouldn't be too much for you and might make the house feel more modern. Also, paint is cheap (DIY that is) and can make a house feel new.

[mrsmayhem]

Mar 21, 2024 20:24:36 GMT -5 sadlebred said:

Could you do a few things to spruce the house up? Maybe new countertops and a backsplash in the kitchen. A new vanity in the main bath, maybe replace older carpet? That wouldn't be too much for you and might make the house feel more modern. Also, paint is cheap (DIY that is) and can make a house feel new.

Yes, we need to do all of this and more. It's overwhelming and I don't feel motivated at all because I still think I'll feel claustrophobic when it's all done. But we need to do it whether we stay or go. I just think if we decide to move, it will be much easier to move out first, then do all the work while the house is empty. I've just been sitting with this indecision and inaction for years. 

[polarbearfans]

Stay put. Moving sucks and you won’t get what you want anyway. Do some small renovations to freshen the place up. Even some new paint can change the entire feel. Due to a leak I had to change out the flooring in a bathroom, and it made the room feel totally different. The bathroom looked larger, more modern, and fresh. Total bright spot. I added a new toilet to fresh up the off white one that came with the house to a pure white. With the amount of money you would spend on extra mortgage by moving you can do a whole lot to make your current house look fresh without a huge renovation.

[polarbearfans]

Mar 21, 2024 20:39:02 GMT -5 mrsmayhem said:

Mar 21, 2024 20:24:36 GMT -5 sadlebred said:

Could you do a few things to spruce the house up? Maybe new countertops and a backsplash in the kitchen. A new vanity in the main bath, maybe replace older carpet? That wouldn't be too much for you and might make the house feel more modern. Also, paint is cheap (DIY that is) and can make a house feel new.

Yes, we need to do all of this and more. It's overwhelming and I don't feel motivated at all because I still think I'll feel claustrophobic when it's all done. But we need to do it whether we stay or go. I just think if we decide to move, it will be much easier to move out first, then do all the work while the house is empty. I've just been sitting with this indecision and inaction for years. 

Maybe try hiring a designer who could help you with design/colors to make your home look and feel larger. Sometimes just the right paint/floor colors can do so much.

[sadlebred]

It sounds like you really want the bigger house, so you need to do what is right for you.

[mrsmayhem]

Mar 21, 2024 21:47:58 GMT -5 sadlebred said:

It sounds like you really want the bigger house, so you need to do what is right for you.

I do, but I logically know that it doesn't really make the most sense, which is why we've been on the fence for so long. If moving would give us our dream house I think I'd be more willing to just go for it.

[heygrey]

I would do what I could on a small scale to make the house better, but still stay for another 10 years. It sounds like with your budget, you could "move out" (go on vacation? stay at a rental locally?) for a bit while these small renos happen so you aren't inconvenienced by them or living in the chaos.

My surrounding matter to me immensely and I put a lot of effort into making my house as lovely as I can. However, the extra level of financial security you are able to achieve while finding contentment in your current house is huge. If you like the location and the community you've created, I would stay, save $8k/month, and make a move when your kids graduate.

[midwestmama]

I voted "stay put," but recognize that living somewhere for 10 years where you feel claustrophobic may not be ideal. However, being able to retire at 48/50 and then have the freedom to go where you want would be awesome. Also, if it were me, I don't think I could stomach paying the amount in interest on a large mortgage at this point. I love my 3.25% interest rate.

Along the lines of what heygrey suggested, you could save the extra "mortgage payments" now in a HYSA, and then if interest rates go down in a few years, you would have that chunk of money, on which YOU were earning interest, to put towards another house if you decide at that point you really want a different house. $8K/month would add up quickly in terms of balance and earn a decent amount of interest relatively quickly.

[Susie]

What's your interest rate on your current mortgage?  If it's relatively low, a move is likely to cost you a lot more than just the difference in home values.  

Our current mortgage is 2.75% for 30 years, and it would be a significant motivator for us to find a way to make this house work.

OTOH, I also get being in a house that just isn't meeting your needs.  The one we sold in 2021 to move here didn't have enough land for us to do what we wanted to do, no matter what additions or improvements we made.  We were already right on top of the property line setback.  So I do understand deciding to move if a) you can afford it, and b) what you have simply isn't meeting needs.  

I will say that I've lived through some pretty significant renos, and also a recent memory move.  The move wasn't any less disruptive.

[neeps]

My H recently retired at 52 and it is all sorts of awesome. Also there was a vast difference in my H's enthusaisum for his job from 40 to 50 and it really tanked between 50 and 52. If he had had to work 8 years longer it would have really affected his and our quality of life. So I guess I'm team make this house work if possible.

[flygirl]

I would have voted for vacation house but then you said you don’t know how much you’d be able to use it.
Plus if you have jobs you don’t really like, I wouldn’t want to get a bigger house that wouldn’t even be what you want and have to push out retirement further.

[purplepenguin7]

I know this board/GBCN is a bubble, but 8K more a month and still not your dream home sounds outrageous. I would not do that.

I was going to vote yes on vacation home but if you don't think you'll use it (or rent it) frequently enough I don't know if I'd go for it.

I would stay put for now, and keep your eye out for something that is everything are looking for in a house.

[jinkies]

It's hard to put a pricetag on a wonderful community of friends and neighbors.

It sounds like you are feeling restless, but you also might be romanticizing what a new house would bring you. A bright, airy AirBNB is a different experience than a house that you live in every day with your kids.

Idk. I'm probably not wealthy enough to respond to your question because I can't imagine consider a 7-figure INCREASE in home value LOL. But I would just wait it out at this point. You also might be surprised at what an architect could do with your existing space that would make it feel more manageable for the next decade. You can't raise the interior ceilings, but you may be able to add another living space for the kids, or expand the dining area, or something else that would be a liveable compromise.

There is no perfect house. I don't think I'd make such a big upgrade unless it was absolutely perfect, but based on your updates, "absolutely perfect" is 2 million more and outside your budget.

[mrsmayhem]

Thank you all for the feedback.

You've reinforced what I already knew - that paying so much more for a house that still might not check all the boxes doesn't really make sense.

I think it might be time to take another look at the possibility of renovating - even if it just makes the current space slightly more livable.

Then, if interest rates were to drop dramatically and we could actually get what we want within our budget, we'd be in a better position to sell.

Thanks for helping me think things through. I think I will always be slightly dissatisfied with this house but I am going to try to focus on what it allows us to do, as another poster mentioned.

[brooke77]

I would buy a bigger house and push back retirement by 5 years.

We were in a similar position in 2021. We had our starter home and it was just too small for us. About 1100 sqft 3 bed/1 bath, no real closet in one bedroom and no yard. There was just no way to renovate it to meet our needs. We moved and our new house is more than double our old mortgage. BUT - I don’t regret it. We have a yard and space for guests and WFH. DS is 6 and we will likely downsize when he goes to college, but I can’t imagine having stayed in our old house for another 12-13 years.

[noodleoo]

We’re in a similar situation and we’ve decided to stay. I loved our house when we first bought it (and still do in a lot of ways), but 15 years later, 2 kids and 2 people WFH now and it is feeling too small. Unfortunately the market here is insane and we can’t stay in our town and get what we would want. Kids are in elementary school, we have a good network of friends and we like our area, so I don’t want to move further away and have to start over in that respect. Plus we have 10 years left on a mortgage at 2.1% so giving that up right now seems really dumb. We’re saving and I’m keeping an eye on the housing market. If things change, we may reevaluate but for now we are staying.

[babsbunny]

I find myself weighing the knowns and unknowns. I'd hate to move and have maintenance issues, annoying neighbors, bad traffic, or a pest problem. I agree with other posters that maybe you can use the spare money on some other strategies first (small renos, vacations).

[krystee]

I would need to know size and condition to say for sure, but I think I would need to get my absolute dream house and location to pay another million more, let alone two million and a significantly extended retirement.

I think your budget gives you lots of flexibility, like living in an AirBnB while renovations are done or hiring a designer who can recommend the most impactful changes so you get the feeling you want on a budget that doesn’t put the house wildly out of line with the neighborhood.