Livinitup - I think you hit the nail on the head with everything you said. Even when I was going through all of that, I was able to put on an appearance that made others think everything in my life was great when in actuality it was hell.
I want to give a great big hug to all of you. I know you don't know me, but the advice you all have given truly means so much to me. Thank you.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
Post by saraandmichael on Sept 26, 2012 22:05:22 GMT -5
fuck forgiveness.
i had a therapist tell me once that i had to forgive my stepbrother for raping and molesting me when i was young in order to truly get through it. she said i didn't have to forget, just forgive.
i never went back to her. i'll be damned if i can forgive for that kind of shit.
and yes, i do hold some anger still...but its lessened through talk therapy. and it only shows up every now and again.
if you don't feel that forgiveness is something you are capable of, i'd look for someone else to speak to.
Thanks Sara. I don't think of myself as someone who is incapable of forgiving people, but I just don't feel I can forgive the person who made my childhood a living hell. I wish I could. I do. But, I don't think it's going to happen.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg