Talking to kids about the homeless

[nicolewi]

We don’t really see much homelessness. My non-urban kids have some experience seeing homeless people in cities on vacations . My youngest, especially. was confused and concerned last time.

We are likely to see a lot of homeless people this week. Any guidelines or resources for talking about this with kids? My teens kind of understand the complexity, but not so much my younger two.

I feel like I’m floundering around a bit trying to come up with talking points around the issue.

[meanie]

We live near a city and see homeless people pretty frequently, so the conversations around it have grown as my kids have gotten older and were able to understand more. How young are your youngest kids?

At 8 and 10 my kids know that some people are unfortunately without a place to live and we have talked about some of the reasons why - financial, addiction, etc. They know there is sometimes a chain of events that can lead to homelessness and that one thing (injury, job loss, car breaking down, etc) can set it into motion for some people.

I think it helps kids process big scary things when they feel like they are contributing to a solution - donating clothing and toys, helping buy food for the food pantry, volunteering, etc. Would you have time to take them to pick up a bag of food to donate to a food pantry, give them a small amt of money to donate to a collection, or have them help you pack a few bags of essentials to give a few people?

[waverly]

nicolewi, when we were in ABQ, I didn't see a lot of homeless. Maybe we missed an area, but as a tourist, I assume that you will not see a bunch.

*Most people who are homeless are just a couple of weeks due to extenuating circumstancing. What you may be talking about is more of a long term homelessness.

I would say there are a variety of reasons why someone can be homeless such as losing a job, mental illness and addiction. There are also a variety of services available to them such as soup kitchens and homeless shelters. I like what meanie said as well.

[quesyrah]

We are in the Los Angeles area so my kids see it all the time. We’ve talked about the various ways people end up unhoused, and how hard it is to get off the streets again. We’ve discussed mental health, drug addition and the cycle of poverty in age appropriate ways.

We do a lot of charitable giving and have included local shelters and organizations that support and work with the unhoused. We have also done some volunteer work to prepare packets that were handed out with blankets personal items, etc.

We started the conversation when my 5 year old thought it was so cool that “those people live in tents!”

[devonpow]

The term “unhoused” is being used more than “homeless” these days, so just a heads up on vocabulary to use.

We live in a major city and travel to other major cities frequently so I have trouble remembering initial conversations I had with my kids when they were young- they have just always seen it. I feel most conversations these days are more around mentally ill individuals/people behaving in unexpected ways in public, and of course it’s not a given that those people are also unhoused but sometimes they are.

When my kids were young I feel like the conversation was often something like “it IS hard to see, you are right. People can be unhoused for a lot of different reasons, like mental illness, drug problems, or just being out of work and having trouble getting back on their feet. There are also a lot of people and groups that are there to help them, like XYZ, and we donate to them etc etc etc”. Then answer any follow up questions. My teen obviously has more in depth conversations about all of it.

I don’t usually give money to unhoused people - I’ll offer to buy food for them sometimes. My kids do, though, especially when they see an unhoused person with kids or dogs. So I often keep small bills on me to give to my kids if they ask. Personal preference obviously, but it makes my kids feel better.

[186momx]

We have a huge, unhoused population in our area. Things I tell DD is that they are people too and to be polite. If they say hi, reply back saying hello but you don't have to stop and have a conversation with them. If they are making you uneasy it's okay to cross the street and walk the longer way. They sometimes hang out at the park she walks by on the way home from school so she will cross and walk on the other side that has houses vs the park side. There have been a couple incidents this year where an unhoused person has followed her and was yelling obscenities at her. The school district police officer liaison told us it was okay for DD to call 911 and talk to the dispatcher until she was safely home if that made her feel more at easy.

[nicolewi]

Thank you! We are here now; I actually have said many of the types of things suggested. Last time, youngest didn’t understand why I wouldn’t just give $$$ to everyone. She is 1.5 years older now and seemed to have more understanding. Also it isn’t like directly walking past panhandlers here. Just lots of unhoused around. One guy was yelling in a busy area about someone sucking his c*** but I don’t think the kids caught it.

[pinkdutchtulips]

DD's father was unhoused the last 8y of his life. When she was in GS, we'd make toiletry packets for the unhoused. At church we'd make 'blessing bags', gallon sized ziploc bag that had food and water in to distribute.

We live in a place (suburbs) with moderately sized unhoused community. A day doesn't go by where we don't see an unhoused person. She's 14, almost 15 and she understands how people can find themselves in this spot. She also knows that there are people out there like her dad who preferred to be unhoused as they didn't like the 'rules' imposed on them by shelters. Explaining the unhoused/homeless is a very nuanced subject that has no cookie cutter one size fits all response.