@@@ Thank you gift question @@@ kids mentioned

[litskispeciality]

I'm afraid to post this to curse it, but I've been planning this for a while. Update and question ahead.

My brother is out of the hospital!!! He just went to stay with a friend last night so I'm getting ahead of myself, but want to shop as I'm going to see this person probably next week when I take over my brother's care. Quick recap for context: my brother had 2 major surgeries and has been in and out of the hospital since right after Thanksgiving. One of his amazing friends has taken in my brothers cat mid-December. This has been a big inconvenience for them as they have an older cat who doesn't exactly get along. Probably on me, but we haven't given any money for cat food for litter (they haven't asked for anything either), so I want to make sure I give a really good thank you gift. This a family of 4, with 2 young teenagers who like to play Magic the Gathering (cards). The friend has mentioned he shops at Target a lot. 

Thinking $200 budget (plus cards) Is this enough for a thank you gift?

$100 gift card to Target
$100 cash gift card as I don't know where they like to eat - figure cover a (small) dinner out, groceries, whatever they want
2 - 3 packs of Magic cards
Cat toys for their cat

Other questions:

1. Should all money go to Target if they like to shop there? Is that easier on them?
2. Where do you buy Magic cards (lol)
3. Should I include something for Chewy or Petco?

One other question that may be friend group specific.  My brother will need some stuff for his place that I don't believe are covered by say insurance*. Thinking of starting an Amazon Wishlist for these items, maybe friends who can't physically help can purchase something they can afford and sent it straight to him? Is this tacky or greedy? I got the idea from a friend who's husband had a stroke, but their friend group is so good you couldn't grab an item it was just purchased right when it went on the list. I'd just buy the stuff myself, but it's adding up quick. 


Not really relevant, but to give the friend with the cat a break I will stay with my brother at his place when he feels ready to be there. We have 1 - 2 other friends who hope to stay/piggy back to cover him for the rest of the month. I may do a thank you gift for them, but I'll cross that bridge when we get there.

*I didn't get a ton of info on my brothers release. Just that the friend went to train on PT stuff, and a call that my brother will get some visiting services, but they're calling him to set up. Typing this out I remembered a used medical device company in my dad's state, so I might call them, but this stuff is more chair, adjustable tray table, shower chair etc., not walker or medical device.

[ellipses84]

I’d probably just do a $200 target gift card. I think visa gift cards are a PITA to use and you can get pet supplies at Target.

I think the Amazon list is fine, as long as your brother is ok with it.

Sometimes Target has Magic cards but if not, GameStop usually has them. Also local card/comic book/sports memorabilia stores usually carry them (and host events to play the game) or Amazon.

[momin2013]

Definitely all $200 for Target! I have no advice on the other questions, but so glad to hear your brother is well enough to come home..

[bex1973]

I agree on the whole amount on the Target card because so much is available there. If I was going to do a food related card I'd go either one of the cards that can be used at a restaurant group (usually like 5 or 6 options on each card) or I'd do Door Dash.

You can also check with local senior centers because they usually loan out stuff like shower chairs and tables and the like - sometimes they ask for a deposit but you get it back when you return. We've done this for things we knew relatives wouldn't need long term and then it's nice to not have the clutter laying around after the need goes away.

[thebreakfastclub]

I would give the $200 to Target. As far as a shower chair and toilet seat lifter, I just bought those things for my mom at Wal-Mart in-store after her knee replacement. They're about $40 each. She was sent home with a walker - she can keep it as part of Medicare but other patients use it for 4 weeks thru a rental company and they come and pick it up.

[Susie]

While the thought is nice, I think the multiple gift cards to multiple places would be annoying in practice.  I agree all to Target or whatever would be better.  If you want to "personalize" it for the cat/etc. you could just include a cat toy or two and then the Target GC.

There's a local game shop near me that has signs out all the time that they sell Magic the Gathering cards.  Driving by there is my sole source of knowledge, lol.  But you could google "game shop [city]" and potentially find somewhere.

ETA:  My town has a senior center and there's also Buy Nothing, where people are always offering mobility aids when people are done with them.  You could try those options to avoid buying new.

[litskispeciality]

You're all so amazing. Thank you as always! I got a text from one friend who went through something similar and they have a shower bench we can use. I might even try buy nothing groups, but don't have a lot of time to physically go pick it up. Thanks again for talking this out!

Forgot to mention with the Amazon wishlist (if we go that route) that one of my brother's friends is planning a virtual meal train sign up sheet where folks sign up to visit and bring food. I thought we could put the list on there "can't visit <him> but want to help? here's the link", or just send it via text to those who specifically ask how they can help. I know I was super concerned about privacy, but that ship has not only sailed, it's re-routed, lol.

The meal train friend said out of state friends may be on board with sending Instacart or Doordash/Grub Hub gift cards since they can't deliver food. That would be a gift from heaven as my brother lives alone and can extend his help.

[bex1973]

litskispeciality, depending on what site they use for the meal train the gift card option is built in!

[whattheheck]

A few of our local churches have free medical lending closets so that may be something to look into.

[sadlebred]

I agree with a $200 Target GC and the Magic cards for the kids.

I think an Amazon wish list is fine. Maybe even post on your local Buy Nothing group or your own social media to see if anyone has what he needs. A lot of people hold onto that kind of stuff.

[MixedBerryJam]

Idk what kind of equipment your brother will need but if either of you belong to a church for sure check with them. We get donations all the time of walkers, wheelchairs, commodes, ice machines. We “loan” them out but generally don’t have to ask for them back because someone else has come along and donated another one. (Sometimes I buy them when I see them in thrift stores, too). I’m technically in charge of the program.

Also I think an Amazon wish list is fine. People know how expensive this shit is and how fucked up the health care system is.

[livinitup]

I like the Amazon wish list. It’s no pressure for friends. I would very much like to purchase something for friend home from the hospital. If people pass, it’s no big either way.