Friday!!!!!

[rere]

Yay Friday! I'm working from home today and taking my lunch to tackle a spring cleaning of Dss room to get ready for him coming home next weekend and bringing his girlfriend who has never been in our state.

After work today I'm going to buy my spring flowers and baskets which will be $$$$. Tomorrow I'm going to plant my pots and flowers in my landscape and help Dh spread a truckload of mulch. Hopefully my house will be spring summer ready. I always say my house is so much prettier in spring, summer, fall, that if we ever sold in the winter, it would probably bring $30,000 less.

We also have a birthday party Saturday night that should be fun. There will probably be a lot of old friends I haven't seen in a while.

Dd is asking for prayers and good vibes today for her Nutrition exam. If she gets a 92, she is exempt from the final and can come home for the summer early. Lord help us all if she gets a 91.

[186momx]

Today is my last Friday of work for the year. I will be one happy camper next Friday when I can hopefully sleep later and have a lazy me day.

Work wise it is quieter than it should be. I was 100% expecting a day full of people and craziness and we only have a couple hour window late today that is like that.

[sdlaura]

This morning DS1 got an award at a ceremony at school. DD and DS2 have already gotten awards at school this year, so I was glad DS2 received one too. DH, DS3 and I went to the ceremony before I took DS3 to preschool and now I am driving 100 miles to an 11-2 client board meeting where I have to present much of the time. So not a relaxing Friday! Hopefully traffic won’t be awful on the way home and I can pick DS3 up and pick up some dinner for the kids (they requested Chik-fil-A) before I head to meet some friends for drinks.

Tomorrow DS2 has an arena soccer game and all 3 older kids have baseball or softball games. One of the families we’ve gotten to be friends with through softball invited us over for dinner tomorrow evening and then invited DD to spend the night. Hopefully my little boys don’t tear their house apart

Sunday we have nothing! Just haircuts for the boys. It will be good because next week I’m out of town for two work trips Monday-Wednesday and then my annual girls trip Wednesday-Saturday. Of course I have to do two virtual client meetings during my girls trips but such is the downside of technically unlimited vacation.

[supertrooper1]

I'm ready for the work week to be over. Between learning my amazing supervisor is leaving my team for another one, getting a micromanaging temp supervisor, going into the office this week and having to listen to my office coworker who doesn't know her job, yet is going to DC at the end of the month to accept an award for her work, and various system outages this week, I'm done. Plus my round of prednisone ended so I'm sitting at my desk with itchy hives. I can't wait to start my new medication hopefully in a couple of weeks. I also had a conference with DS's teacher that she requested to make sure I knew ex-H and DS's counselor were discussing an autism diagnosis for DS. I didn't know that was being discussed and I'm grateful she brought me in to discuss it with me.

We have pending plans to visit my parents for dinner one day this weekend. We'll probably take our drones and fly them in their fields. Beau had mentioned having his grandson come over for the night, but he hasn't said anything about it since, so I'm not sure that is happening. Maybe we'll go visit instead.

[mae0111]

It's been a long and frustrating week for a lot of reasons. Tons of schedule changes that just wouldn't get settled until the last minute, sending me scrambling a bit. This weekend had been up in the air, and is still a little bit up in the air. DD2 had a game scheduled for tomorrow, then it got canceled. Then they rescheduled a game that had been canceled last week due to field conditions. But we've since gotten about 2 inches of rain, which just ended about 30 mins ago, so I don't see how the fields will be playable this weekend.

So maybe DD2 has a soccer game tomorrow? DD1's softball game for today was canceled due to field conditions. We had talked about going to the beach house this weekend, but the kids have been at each other and fighting constantly, so I am flat-out refusing to go and spend the weekend breaking up fights. Dh might still go as he has a lot of time-sensitive projects to deal with. It's possible he'll take DD1 with him, but probably not.

My kids have a long weekend this weekend, and it's public school spring break next week . This likely means more changes to the schedule next week, so I'm just kind of waiting for those. I'm working on Monday, in between therapy appointments for the kids and a rec softball practice.

DD1 is in the middle of meltdown #8 for the week. It's going to be a long weekend. Wish me luck.

[librarychica]

I got home from my work trip at 1AM, 2 hours later than expected. Thankfully I did not have anything planned before 11. Busy afternoon but then an evening planned for the couch.

Tomorrow I’ll take the dog to the vet, DD2 has piano, DD1 is supposed to go to a house warming sleepover but she’s been a tad under the weather so we will see. H and I are going to see a friend in a local play and the girls old nanny will come stay with DD2 (and DD1 I guess if she is home) and bring her son, so we can stay out late.

Sunday — nothing’s planned. H expects to have some work, otherwise the girls and I will do whatever. If DD1 does go to her sleepover we might make a short stop at a state park nearby and spend some time there before or after I pick her up.

[k3am]

I’ve had the week off work for spring break. I’ve spent the day looking at job postings. Problem is.. I don’t want to go somewhere else and do what I do. Because I don’t like it. But I like the paycheck. I don’t know what else I could do though. I COULD sell this house, take our equity almost anywhere else in the country, and wouldn’t need to work, as DH can be remote anywhere. But DD would hate me and I’d miss our friends.

[waverly]

k3am , can you take a paycut or do you need that salary for the house?  Maybe you could find something that you like but still allows you to keep the house, but I'm not sure how much lower you could go.  

[waverly]

My weekend is all Girl Scout volunteering. I am in charge of a group making digital fliers for our Bronze Award. Then I am baking for the bake sale, and I also did the centerpiece which luckily is done.  Oh and we have a soccer party in there too.  

[k3am]

Apr 12, 2024 15:39:31 GMT -5 waverly said:

k3am, can you take a paycut or do you need that salary for the house?

Probably, to some extent. I budget overly aggressive on spending, and we lose money annually before bonuses on paper, but not in reality. Our tax burden would go down definitely.

I have no idea what else I would/could do is the biggest problem. My skill set isn’t super transferable, even in the same industry outside of my niche - I am so specialized that things that are very basic to most of my industry aren’t even a consideration in my world… entry analysts at my company can speak more knowledgeably about that stuff than I can. (Likewise, even very senior people in the industry are unfamiliar with concepts/framework that we utilize in our niche)

[supertrooper1]

k3am, don't forget to check out USAJOBS.gov. The federal government is always hiring. And even if the job starts at a GS-7, a lot go up 2 grades every year until GS-11 or 12, which is usually where 6 figures begins depending on locality pay.

[dglvrk2]

mae0111, good luck and hugs!!

I could use a drink and a chill night with H. Not sure if that will pan out.

We got home from our (fantastic!) extended spring break trip Wednesday. Work picked up easily....
DD1 walked into nastiness with her two former best friends. Thank you waverly and k3am for you helpful words on the open letters thread. She's holding it together, but it's not a fun road to ride. She's at volleyball practice right now and usually feels pretty good afterwards. Fingers crossed.
This weekend I'm solo parenting while H ski patrols. I'm running 6 miles, the longest I've run in months, with a friend tomorrow morning. The Ds want to ski Sunday, but lay low tomorrow, so that's the plan for now. I have some work to finish before Monday too.

[erbear]

Sunday is my birthday and my parents got DH and me tickets to a hockey game Saturday afternoon. DD2 just got a soccer game rescheduled, which we would normally skip but it’s a new team and it’s the first game so we figured she should go. And none of her friends are going so no ride so DD1 and I are going to the hockey game and DH is taking DD2 to her game. It’ll be fun, but not the evening I had planned.

[campermom]

Little DS has totally regressed behaviorally over the last 5 weeks and we finally had his appointment. The Dr met w his dad (she will not put us in the same virtual room bc she’s seen him go off on me in ways unrelated to the child, and said she won’t retraumatize me like that and I appreciate her so much) who admitted to only one missed dose but she was firm w him that she can’t increase his meds if the issue is inconsistency. So she did increase and I’m praying we get back on track. He is getting referrals more days than not, and is sometimes out of class for 90 minutes. I’m praying for change. If you pray, please do for him. I feel like I felt 3-4 years ago, like he will never be independent and disabled forever.

He has a baseball game today and yesterday’s practice went better than previously. The dads-I told them about his disorder and how he does not do well w roughhousing, unstructured time or in the dugout. They are starting to get more firm w their own kids. Stop tackling!! He’s going to explode in 2 seconds. I have to be right there on him to intervene and last year I was able to go for a run, I felt so confident. He’s just regressed.

My daughter has a lacrosse game overlapping his game so my parents are getting her there.

Then my oldest son has his bday sleepover w his best friends.

Sunday is for reset and recovery.

[mae0111]

dglvrk2, I've been thinking of your DD, hoping that everything gets better for her soon. Middle school is the worst.

erbear, happy birthday! I hope you enjoy the game, and that you and your DH can celebrate together another time.

campermom, I'm sorry for what's happening with your DS. Do you think your ex is telling the truth, and that he's been giving the meds consistently? I think that baseball is a really tough sport for a kid that doesn't do well with unstructured downtime. DD2 actually refused to play softball because of all of the waiting. And when I was coaching t-ball and softball for 1st and 2nd graders, I literally needed at least 3 adults - one to pitch, I'd be either at the plate helping the kids swing or helping out the catcher, and someone to keep law and order on the bench. But I'm glad that the other dads are helping out. And I know how you feel when you say that you're concerned that he'll never be independent. I truly felt that way about DD1 for several years. We still have bad days/weeks (this past week was one of them, after several weeks of good weeks), but she's shown so much maturity that I'm feeling much more hopeful than I had been feeling. I hope you start to see more consistent gains with your DS as meds are adjusted and he gets older. Thinking of you...

[mommyatty]

DH and I are going to a play tonight and fancy dinner downtown while the kids sleep over with my MIL. Tomorrow DD has field hockey practice which is long. But at least the weather is supposed to be beautiful. I’m taking a comfy camp chair because the bleachers suck and reading a book.

supertrooper1, it’s really shitty that neither the counselor nor your ex told you about looking into a diagnosis for your DS. At the very least, you need to be filling out paperwork about his behavior when he’s with you. Part of the diagnostic criteria is the symptoms appear in multiple environments. If you do get a diagnosis, be prepared for it to hit you pretty hard. Autism is a heavy diagnosis, even when you get it for an older child. And if you have questions or want to chat, let me know.

[campermom]

mae0111 I think that the doctor is suspicious, as I am, and I don’t know what she said to him but she told me she questioned him to evaluate whether she is willing to even increase.

Hes refusing to give him the Adderall which is against the court order but I’m not going to fight that. I think he realizes how dangerous it is not to give the Lamictal. It has a very dangerous side effect w inconsistent administration. It’s a risk of Steven’s Johnson syndrome. So earlier before the trial he had written the dr an email that in his mind made me look like a bad mom for agreeing to this med, but it actually made him look horrible. In it, he said “what do I do if I miss 1 dose? What do you want me to do if I miss 2? What should I do if I miss 3?” And he was actually looking to like, “catch her” in something. Like he does to me. I’m pretty sure that since that email was entered into discovery, he was given feedback that this is not a good look.

If my son had been in this current state at sign up time I never would have done a 2nd year. Last year we had only 1 issue and it really surprised me at the time. This year he has just regressed. He does really well at karate bc of the structure and supervision. He could NEVER play a contact sport, unless something drastically changed.


supertrooper1 the school counselor or your child’s individual therapist? Is this a disability you suspect? Best practice means they should not only have rating scales from both parent but also teachers. PM me if you’d like more info or to run it by. Joint legal custody? He should be informingyou of this.

[k3am]

Both kids have been sent to their room.. one has been playing harmonica for the last 20 mins and it feels like I’m the one being punished. I’ve raised an evil genius.

[mae0111]

k3am I’m literally LOLing because DD1 plays ukulele when they’ve both been sent to their rooms and DD2 loses her mind every time.

Godspeed to you.

[mommyatty]

campermom- I would talk to your lawyer about this. I realize meds are a constant balancing act, but not taking them can really jack things up. DS can’t do the “medicine holidays” others on stimulants do because it makes him get migraines and messes up his stomach. Neurodivergent kids have enough stomach/digestive issues without making them worse by not administering meds. And if he’s skipping one, you know the odds are good he’s skipping both.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hope you can get him back on a better path soon. It is so very hard.

[supertrooper1]

Thank you campermom and mommyatty. It's his individual counselor, not the school one. I need to reach out to her again since I haven't spoken with her since he started seeing her about 6 months ago. Ex-H takes him to his appointments. I was really thankful his teacher made me aware. This is something we have suspected since he was little, but his pediatrician wanted to bush it off until he was older. He's anxious about certain things. He's always had some sensory issues, like only wanting to wear long sleeve shirts. He's never had close friends, and in pre-school this was seen as a good thing because he would play with everyone. Loud noises have sometimes been an issue yet yesterday he was playing with an air horn outside at my parents' house. He's always been hyper-focused on math. But on the other hand, he recognizes emotions, will maintain eye contact and likes to play the staring game, and seems normal. So I'm on the fence if he is actually on the scale, or if it's environmental due to his dad's narcissism. His dad keeps him on a rigid schedule, like dinner at 5, reading at 6, shower at 7, etc, and this has always contributed to his anxiety about time. I'm still processing it all.

[campermom]

mommyatty yes. I’m currently in the middle of a whole thing. My child is spiraling out of control, it’s getting worse. ExH is impossible to work with and I’m convinced he would rather disrupt me 1% even if it means taking out child down a road of disruption by 75%.

[mommyatty]

supertrooper1- sounds like your ex is likely autistic too. “Rigid thought patterns and routines that cannot be disrupted”, anyone?

campermom- I swear, that fucking guy. He needs to be punched in the nuts.

[supertrooper1]

mommyatty, I don't think so. He's just a controlling passive aggressive covert narcissist. He thinks he knows best on child raising since he's a teacher and apparently rigid routines are the best.