I see you, I feel you and i send you love and hugs.
I love my mother dearly but i hate today because it's a painful reminder of my biggest regret in life. I always wanted to be a mother and thought I would have children but my exh pulled that rug out from underneath me. After my divorce, things just didn't turn out in my favor.
Post by basilosaurus on May 12, 2024 14:42:31 GMT -5
As a child, it was agony. Having to substitue my gramma for all the mandatory crafts as a kid, and thankfully she was very involved, was not kind. My heart goes out to those still seeking peace. I've been through 2 mother hurdles, the death of one as a kid and the no contact as an adult with the other. Why is it so many holidays seen as loving and celebratory as so very hurtful to so many?
TW: Miscarriage talk I am not ok. I had a D&C on Wednesday. I hurt. No one knew I was pregnant aside from my husband, doctor, therapist and now you all. This emotional pain is unbearable and I don’t know what to do. This is my second miscarriage is less than a year
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
After a couple of losses and IF, I've always struggled with this holiday. I had to grab a quick lunch and went to a super fast, casual place. They asked if I was a mother so they could give me a discount. Could they just not??
Via text to me a week ago, my MIL invited us for a big whole family brunch and yard games kind of thing, and I texted her back trying to be honest and kind, acknowledging the invite, but saying I hoped she understood if I declined, that the day is still really hard for me and I was not up to brunch and yard games. She didn't respond back at all (it's been a week). Then yesterday when H called her to wish her a happy MD, she went into this whole thing about is Susie mad at me, Susie must be mad at me, what did I do to deserve this, and on and on.
I feel at peace with my decision. It's not just that my mom died around this time of year, but she also had a health crisis/hospitalization over MD the year before she died, when I was pregnant, and the year after she died, her sister, my favorite aunt, also died in May. I spent MD that year leaving my 1 year old at home to fly to DC to go say goodbye. This is just a really shitty time of year for me, heavily influenced by those three MD's in a row at the start of my motherhood. I believe my mental health deserves not having to fake a smile for a whole gaggle of ILs who don't share my memories of these women, so we can play lawn games. I want and believe I deserve to remember these women and these times in peace and reflection if that is what feels right to me. It was just a real bummer to feel so completely unsupported in that. H got it, and he was supportive, but it was still a bummer.
Post by wanderlustmom on May 13, 2024 11:10:40 GMT -5
Thinking of everyone struggling! Its been hard for me the last two years since my mom has passed. Since yesterday was my third Mother's Day without her it was better. not great and not awful. I didn't expect my kids and husband to make up for my sadness like I did the last two years. I honored my sadness by talking about her and posting a picture of her and lighting a candle for her. I was able to focus on the blessing of the relationship I had with her. I'm still really angry she had her life cut too short and was sick too long but I know I can't make the anger go away. I accept it
It was my 2nd Mothers Day without my mom. It was rough. I just got so sad seeing all these posts on IG/FB that people had written about their moms saying “I don’t know what I would do without her”. Just hit me real hard. I had a good cry and tried to move on with my day.
Thanks for doing this. IRL I have a brave Mother’s Day face. BUT I’m in extremely limited contact with my mom, and my dad (my primary parent even though my parents were married) died on Mother’s Day when I was a teenager. So Mother’s Day is emotionally complex for me. I’m sorry to hear others are struggling, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone.