Wednesday letters

[rere]

Dear people in the monthly meeting I hate,

Since I get little feedback and this meeting is torture, here's how it's going to to go. I'm going to tell you what I am doing, ask for feedback, and usually receiving none, move on. If the boss is going to just be negative, I'm going to either scrap whatever the problem is, or ask that he be specific on exactly what is wanted, since my interpretation isn't the same, and move on. Then go on about my day and hopefully retain my sanity.

Signed, over it.

[xctsclrx]

Dear WP,

I think I recently told you guys that both of my little kids started jiu jitsu. My son (9) just moved up a belt level and my daughter (5) has finally figured out how to fight back and not just sit back and take it. The progress those two have made is awesome to watch.

So I started training jiu jitsu 3 months ago. I am having so much fun. It is challenging mentally and physically and has been amazing for my mental health. I had lost a lot of confidence in what my body can do physically after I had kids and now I am gaining that back and then some.



Signed
Loving my new hobby

[polecat8]

xctsclrx,
I have been doing taekwondo with DD and DS1 for 2 years now and I love it.
Something about martial arts makes my mind and body stronger while having a ton of fun.
DS1 and I will be testing for black belt together in December and I can't wait!

[librarychica]

Dear self,

For F’s sake, focus! Just because you have slow week or two doesn’t mean you get to turn into a slug, no matter how much it rains.

- the productive worker on the shoulder of the woman who wants to go back to bed

[mommyatty]

Dear Son,

Why are you being a complete asshole to one teacher and only one teacher? I mean, I’m glad you aren’t an asshole to all the other teachers, but why do you show this one teacher your absolute worst self?

Signed,
Baffled and Irritated Mom

Dear Son’s Teacher,

While I am sorry my son is being an asshole to you, he also consistently says you aren’t following his IEP. He’s allowed to move in class. Telling him he can stand but has to stand still in a taped box on the floor isn’t doing it. Also, when I give you suggestions to try when he’s being an asshole, and you refuse to try them, I don’t know what else you want me to do.

And getting in a battle of wills with a neurodivergent kid with a 140 IQ is just a recipe for disaster. Trust me on this. He’s smarter than you and more stubborn than you. He will find ways to disrupt and push your buttons that you never even knew you had. He’s creative and determined and completely oppositional when he thinks adults don’t like him anyway.

Signed,
Maybe It’s You

[186momx]

rere, fingers crossed your meeting isn't horrible

Dear DH
When I said I wasn't feeling good and was stuck in the bathroom all afternoon so could you please water when you got home from golf. I really meant it. Not for you to dink around and not get home until 8 and then go "do I have to". Peter who you golfed with was able to pick up his daughter from gym and I chatted with him for about 10 minutes. You have time you just don't manage it.
Wife who is miserable with digestive issues

Dear Dad
I wish you were working today and tomorrow so I could go home, and you could cover stuff.
At least I'm keeping my germs to myself in my empty office.
Me
PS: I plan on going home once I finish today's payrolls.

[librarychica]

Dear PM team,

WTAF was that?

Sincerely,
I was waiting for your confirmation that I was approved to turn the application ON and you sent the link to 800 people and then asked “why doesn’t it work?”

[supertrooper1]

Dear DS,

It makes me happy to see how excited you are about your play this week. You have been doing great memorizing your lines and rolling with the flow on things that are outside of your comfort box. I'm excited to watch your performance Saturday.

Love,
Mom

Dear Beau,
Yes, I was being passive aggressive last night when I left dinner out for you to clean up. You were still eating when I had to leave to pick up DS, and when I returned 30 minutes later, you were watching a movie and playing your game. I'm not sorry that I left it out for you until bedtime to put away. I cooked and was tired from work and running around all day, plus being sick. The least you could have done was clean up a little but you only put away some of the leftovers and condiments.
Signed,
I love you, but please pull your weight around here.

[dglvrk2]

Dear DD1,

I'm really trying not to go all mama bear/Karen about how some of the girls, especially X, are treating you at school. I really think X needs to be called on her mean texts to you, when she says others are telling "her" there's no room at "their" lunch table because of YOU. I call bullsh***. It's mean and otherwise unacceptable. It's also make you know even more reluctant to eat lunch in the lunchroom and not a favorite teacher's classroom.

If this was a one-time incident, I'd be calmer. However, it's not. It's been ongoing, targeted, and hurting your feelings. It's. Bullying.

You have been seeing a therapist for a month. This is something I've been trying to get you to do for nearly 2 years, so I think we are making progress in the bigger picture. You enjoy meeting with this therapist and you seem to really be in a good place with her. She helped you to come to the conclusion to let things with x go for now and that you would simply tell her to stop next time she makes a mean girl move.

I know I must trust you and let you make your own decisions here. I'm not at your school and don't know all of the nuances... It's still hard for me.

I love you and want to remind you so many teachers, counselors, family members and family friends are on your team.

UR Mom

[mommyatty]

Dear Daughter,

Why are all of your bffs having major mental health issues all of a sudden? Is it your age? Is it that you’re all suspected to be undiagnosed neurodivergent, smart, hilarious little nerds? Should I be worrying more about you? You seem to be fine except for breaking out in hives all the time.

Signed,
Worried You Are So Well-Balanced

[waverly]

dglvrk2 , is the school doing anything about the bullying?
mommyatty , I keep watching my kids and they are mostly fine. I wonder if it is social media overuse?

Dear ankle,

Why did you have to get injured because I shoveled 2 things out of the garden, and now I have to go to physical therapy on my second week of personal training non the less.

Signed,
Get it together body!

[mommyatty]

waverly, for one of them, maybe. For the other one, she’s not allowed access to any social media. My working hypothesis is both girls have parents with terrible co-parenting issues where the dads may or may not be emotionally abusive. Both dads have new wives and younger half siblings of these girls. Both moms are now suing for sole custody. So it’s a whole thing.

[waverly]

mommyatty, oh that is a whole thing. I was speaking probably more broadly on social media and girls, but it sounds like those two have a tumultuous home life.

[erbear]

May 15, 2024 16:02:27 GMT -5 waverly said:

mommyatty , oh that is a whole thing. I was speaking probably more broadly on social media and girls, but it sounds like those two have a tumultuous home life.

never mind. I can't today.

[rere]

Update. I made it through 3 back to back meetings including the horrible one and no one pissed me off, I haven't threatened bodily harm, or used my choice swear words. Plus dd brought me Chic Fil A for lunch.

Signed, winning, briefly

[dglvrk2]

waverly, I have been speaking with the school's vice principal, counselors and three of DD's teachers about this for several weeks. They are totally up for addressing it with DD and the other girl, both separately and together. However, DD is reluctant to push this further at school because she is worried about the other girl bth retaliating and not being forthcoming about her actions.

H and I have tried to convince her that the counselors are very experienced in working with situations like this, but she hasn't relented.

The counselors do have screenshots of some of the other girls texts.

DD has confided in one of her teachers about this. She is not aware that I've reached out to the counselors, vice principal, and other teachers.

Until DD buys into letting the school help, I'm hesitant to push for their help. That being said, I'm in close contact with the counselors and teachers and vice principal. I do not intend to drop these conversations anytime soon.

Any thoughts?

[k3am]

Dear DD,

It's amazing what a change in friend group can do, even when you're not interacting with either the old or new friend group, you're an entirely more enjoyable person to be around.

Signed,
Happy mom

Dear work,

So far digging the new arrangements (that I haven't posted about here for a multitude of reasons). It's amazing what a little employee empowerment can do.

Signed,
Crossing my fingers it continues

[macmars45]

Dear WP,

I've been back at work FT since August. Nothing exhausts me (and my coworkers) like testing kids all day. We test all K-5th graders 3x/year on reading skills & comprehension. It takes 5 days each time. Four grades down, two left.
I've been coming home and phoning it in with evening stuff and going to bed early.

On the upside, I'm SO proud of these kids! The growth I'm seeing in their skills is amazing! One of the kids I work with in a reading group made huge gains! That alone made my week! They work so hard and it is paying off!

signed,
tired employee

[waverly]

dglvrk2, I think it’s OK to involve the school since it seems that the girls have been trying for a while and don’t have the tools to solve it on their own. It is hard without your DD’s buy in though.

An alternative suggestion would be for them to stop talking altogether. Block on text, don’t respond to text messages, don’t engage at school. Walk away. Just let it die down as much as possible. No matter what they say it’s bad or gets worse so I would suggest a full on break from communication. Sit at different lunch tables be in different friend groups just separate completely.

[k3am]

May 16, 2024 6:53:33 GMT -5 waverly said:

An alternative suggestion would be for them to stop talking altogether. Block on text, don’t respond to text messages, don’t engage at school. Walk away. Just let it die down as much as possible. No matter what they say it’s bad or gets worse so I would suggest a full on break from communication. Sit at different lunch tables be in different friend groups just separate completely.

This is what we had to do with DD. Thankfully she got there on her own eventually, but it involved a lot of coaching. The first time I found out what was going on in her text threads with her "best friend" I was so disappointed. She asked if I was mad at her for calling her friend a name. Told her I was disappointed, yes, but I was more angry because we are LastName's, and we do NOT let ANYONE talk to us that way. Friends should be people who you enjoy being around, who make you feel good about who you are, who value you as a person - and vice versa. Friends do NOT routinely do the opposite. And we don't surround ourselves with people who do the opposite because it is not worth it. 

[mae0111]

Dear WP -

Things are getting... interesting. Boss2 started inviting his DD to meetings, didn't tell Boss1, and my coworkers don't know I'm leaving. Boss2 is telling agencies that they might hire that I'm leaving and to loop his DD in, but she hadn't officially been hired at that point.

Boss2 and Boss4 set up a meeting with the brand new admin to discuss marketing... didn't invite me... I'm the marketing person... remember, no one else knows I'm leaving... so she tries to invite me to the meeting... no thank you.

Boss1 asks me to stay until MID JUNE (no) and that he doesn't want to tell anyone my plans until NEXT WEEK. Sir. Your colleague is telling anyone that will listen, setting up marketing meetings without me. This will not keep until next week. Then he asks me IF I WILL TELL EVERYONE so he doesn't have to... um... I mean... if you want me telling my story, sure! Happy to! He finally told everyone at some point earlier this week.

So now I'm hearing that 3 partners are really mad at Boss2, Boss1 and Boss2 are fighting a lot, the 4th partner (Boss#3) is Boss2's son so he's trying to stay out of it. Boss#3 hasn't acknowledged anything about me leaving, and I've been working with him a lot.

I'm so glad I'm leaving. It's... messy.

Mae

[186momx]

mae0111, that sounds like a daytime TV soap show

dglvrk2, hugs; 7th grade just sucks

[mae0111]

dglvrk2, I'm sorry that your DD1 is going through this. It's so hard to watch. My DD1 is in 8th grade, and aside from 1-2 issues, it's been a pretty calm year despite being the new kid at a new school. I agree that 7th grade sucks, it feels like it's the peak of middle school awfulness. I hope that she can get through the year and just have a bit of a refresh over the summer.

[dglvrk2]

May 16, 2024 6:53:33 GMT -5 waverly said:

dglvrk2, I think it’s OK to involve the school since it seems that the girls have been trying for a while and don’t have the tools to solve it on their own. It is hard without your DD’s buy in though.

An alternative suggestion would be for them to stop talking altogether. Block on text, don’t respond to text messages, don’t engage at school. Walk away. Just let it die down as much as possible. No matter what they say it’s bad or gets worse so I would suggest a full on break from communication. Sit at different lunch tables be in different friend groups just separate completely.

DD1 wants to do the latter. Her plan is to ignore this girl as much as possible. That being said, they go to a small school - there are only 100 students in grade level (7th grade). Hence, the girls are in a couple of classes together. They also play on the same softball team (because DD and I encouraged the girl to join softball before she turned on DD). There are definitely times when she has to be, for lack of better words, professional.

There are only a few rather large lunch tables in the cafeteria. This girl has also said that DD should not sit with her and her "friends." This leaves DD with few options. She doesn't want to be around this girl, but wants to be around the other people.

Really sucks.

mae0111 I'm really hoping she can get the reset you mentioned over the summer. She is attending two sleep away camps as well as two day camps in a nearby town. I'm really hoping the change of scenery helps

[k3am]

Dear designer,

I'm having a love hate relationship with you guys. But you take FOREVER. We've been working with you since SEPTEMBER and are nowhere near close to starting.

As a side note, not EVERY choice needs to be a statement $$$$ choice.

Signed,
A cheap lady with champagne tastes