TWERKS, Randoms, Updates, Etc.

[sdlaura]

mae0111 it's so hard to decide what the best teams are for your kid. Before my kids got really into sports, I figured I would be totally hands off about it, but I've realized that I have to help get my kids on certain teams. The coach and other kids and parents and league culture are just so important for whether they have a fun experience. And if I don't make sure they're with a coach at our schools/very local to us, DH and I can end up having to drive a bunch to practices far away, and that makes our lives a lot harder.

Anyway, I do think the culture and support and liking the other kids on the team is more important than whatever the sport itself is. I think you're right to continue to talk through it with your DD to figure out how big of an issue the team culture is.

[mae0111]

sdlaura, The coach is typically really good about nipping that nonsense in the bud. He's a 4th grade teacher and a dad to 2 girls, so he know's what's what. BUT... the team is too big, and I think there are a lot of personalities to manage. It makes it so hard.

I ended up emailing the coach with a quick, "Can you remind the kids to be good teammates" and left it at that. And then I texted the assistant coach of her other team and told her how much I appreciate the awesome, welcoming, encouraging culture that she has created. That coach knows very little about soccer, but she's also a teacher and just has such an amazing way with the kids. This is the 4th or 5th team of DD2's that she's coached, and DD2 always smiles through her seasons with her.

[k3am]

When I had an ear infection, I walked away with a prescription for vicodin. For DD? Nada. To add to her luck, she picked up DS's cold and the child is super duper miserable and got sent home from school. If I understood dosing/weight conversions, I'd just give her a portion of the vicodin we have here, but alas... while I'm willing to play fast and loose with my own body, not so much with hers...

[dglvrk2]

mae0111 Good work getting to the bottom of the situation! Agreed that this age is tough. Other WPs have offered some great perspectives. Your DD has valid reasons for wanting to play with the club. I'm wondering if her feelings and/or club dynamics will change between now and the fall. With the addition of a familiar coach and may be some additional confidence, might the fall be easier?

Maybe time will tell what is the best team/situation for your DD.

[mae0111]

Ugh. We've had a stressful few weeks at our house between activities and attitudes. Last night everything came to a head.

The kids had their play last night - DD2 in the ensemble, DD1 backstage. It was great! Really fun, the kids worked hard, and did a great job! When we got home at around 9, total chaos erupted. DD2 started having a meltdown because she forgot about a homework assignment (which she had also forgotten about the night before, and her teacher gave her an extra day and she forgot again). I offered to sit with her and help her. Screaming continued, so I walked away. She sat at the kitchen island with her homework, and started screaming at me "get over here" and help her.

At this point, DD1 starts to taunt her. Just pick at her, make fun of her, stomping her feet, whistling, crinkling cellophane from the flowers I bought them for their play. Everything she could do to be annoying and distract her. I asked her to stop - NO! It's a PUBLIC SPACE! She annoys me all the time! I have EVERY RIGHT TO DO THIS!

So now DD1 is screaming at me, DD2 is screaming at me and at DD1, the dog starts barking, DH is taking the trash out and misses almost all of this...

And. I. Lost. It.

I'm so very tired of twisting myself into a pretzel to get the kids everywhere they want/need to be, doing all the things to help/please them, and getting crapped on at every turn. I'm tired of absorbing this treatment, shaking it off, and waking up with a smile to try and make things pleasant for everyone.

I'm angry at myself because I made plans and invited DD2's friends and their families to our beach house this weekend since we'll all be there for her soccer tournament, because I'm so angry at the way I've been treated, I don't want to go. I would very much like to cancel the whole weekend.

So now I'm trying to focus on wrapping up with my current client (who is NOT making any part of this process easy for me), and I'm struggling.

Ugh.

[sdlaura]

Hugs mae0111! That's a lot!

I'm glad the play went well and hope your DDs come to their senses today and make things easier on you!

[k3am]

Our house has the plague. DS picked up a cold. Poor DD.. unknown inner ear infection, ruptured ear drum, which then caused an outer ear infection.. finally was getting a little bit of relief and then picked up DS's cold, which lead to lovely sinus pressure and back to her ear drum bleeding. She's finally at school today, so hopefully on the upswing, meanwhile I'm trending down.. UGH.

[campermom]

PDQ
ExH was arguing every bill I sent receipts for, stating that about $700 of his shares worth of receipts were not adequate bc they didn’t have line item breakdowns. I broke gray rock again, and said “imagine if you’d invested this amount of time on (our child) during this mental health crisis” and his response was to try to prove (by asking my oldest son my whereabouts) that I didn’t later attend our other sons baseball game. He wanted to know the logistics of who took everyone where and who was watching the other child after he actually showed up to his first IOP (9 hours a week of therapy) virtual appointment in 4 weeks, and he made sure to wear a Mental Health Awareness t shirt and keep adjusting it so the therapist could see the writing.

The next day We had an out of pocket Neurology appointment the next day. I was able to get into this doctors private practice if I paid outright. We were going to talk about pandas

ExH failed to show up to the appointment. But he texted me DURING with a whole breakdown math equation of how much he’s willing to pay for a phone bill bc I couldn’t prove some kind of credit situation-he wanted my credit card statement and I wouldn’t give it to him, the bill with the line by line breakdown was enough.

He realized I just proved that point. He, for the first time in years, muttered the words he was sorry for missing it. Then he said “without criticizing can you tell me how it went”

It’s like he goes into a frenzy when it’s time to reimburse me and can focus on nothing else other than financial abuse.