Can I AW? Or all share kid successes?

[nicolewi]

I've posted a fair amount about dyslexia; my 11 year old has dyslexia and dyscalculia (math disability). A couple years ago, despite lots of tutoring, she couldn't even really read a menu or play a game with friends that involved reading cards. It had been a long road with very slow progress. She would score like 10th percentile on standardized tests in reading. Around the beginning of last year, I started to see a LOT of growth, and one day, I remember her reading to me after I hadn't heard her in a long time. I teared up; I was so thrilled; she could actually READ the story in a fairly normal way (she just gets mad if I act like this is a big deal). This year it really started to snowball. Now she can read to the extent that I don't think most people would realize she has a major learning disability. She's been into the mid 40 percentiles for a bit and I've been hoping for over 50. The recent test results came out and she's over 70th percentile!!! This is so amazing and I'm so so thrilled for her. I think she will continue to go up. 

Now, math...math is still a different story, but hopefully we'll see those skills start to build rapidly at some point as well. She's come a long way.

[waverly]

DS has had all A's and B's in his classes for all of middle school (6th and 7th grade). This is a miracle honestly because he lost every sheet of paper that ever was handed out to him. With his tutor his EF skills have improved, but there was a definitely a dip at the end of the year when he brought home a library book, math book and part of his FM system instead of returning it to the school. I had to make 2 trips to return everything.  But overall an improvement from elementary school where he had C's in 3rd and 5th grade.  4th grade was Covid, so I don't think they graded accurately meaning most kids got A's no matter what the work looked like.  

DD is doing fantastic in 99% of the areas. The main thing she still needs to work on is her short emotional outbursts which are kind of a anxiety/ anger response. I think she may be getting a little better with that though, and luckily they only last a few minutes definitely under 5, but still need to work with her on that. I've been co-regulating with her for years, so wondering when it finally clicks through all the way.

[maudefindlay]

nicolewi awesome! The reading improved immensely and then came the improvements and growth in math for my DD 11. She actually scored higher on math than reading for the first time on this spring's standardized tests.

[pandora89]

nicolewi - that is amazing, congrats to your daughter! What an accomplishment!

[noodleoo]

Wow that’s so exciting! My friend’s daughter has dyslexia and is in a similar boat with reading issues. Can I ask what worked for your DD?

[nicolewi]

noodleoo I don't even really know. We did private tutoring for several years mainly using Wilson (a dyslexia friendly phonics-based program) until she got an IEP. Once she got the IEP we dropped private tutoring as it was both expensive and very hard to find good providers in our area. She's been getting 30 minutes daily pull-out for a few years at school and they use Sonday (one of the Orton-Gillingham type phonics-based programs that's supposed to work for kids with dyslexia). I was upset at first that they pulled her from the trained reading specialist once she had the IEP to work with special ed, but I LOVE the special ed teacher she's had the past two years and she has been a great personality/style fit for DD. That was HUGE this year as we had some issues with her main classroom teacher. I think having a good relationship with the special ed teacher has helped.

Mostly, I think it's just working on it consistently over time until we finally hit some kind of tipping point in DD's brain. I always read TO her a lot, so she could access materials at her comprehension level/age level content, and she's started to do more reading on her own as her skills improved. I never pushed HER reading super hard as I didn't think reading books at her past reading level was very helpful. It only increased her anxiety and sense of shame when she was reading "baby books", but as she improved she started to like graphic novels and now is reading "Little House" on her own.

Progress was slow for so long but then it just started to really roll. I used to worry she would NEVER be able to read/fill out forms/handle basic tasks without assistive technology and now we're way past that. I hope this gives your friend some hope!

[court26]

This is a great update! Congrats!

[starburst604]

nicolewi that's so great!! My DD (9) doesn't have dyslexia but does have a reading learning disability and an IEP. This year she had a wonderful, really patient teacher which I didn't feel she had in 2nd grade, and she made really big strides in reading. Still not up to the level of her peers, but a LOT better and she's much more confident about it. Your post gives me hope that in a couple of years she'll make big progress and maybe even enjoy it more.

[macmars45]

nicolewi that is amazing! Congrats to your DD!

My autistic DS(8) is finishing 2nd grade. He has struggled to learn to read since the beginning of 1st grade. He was reading at a kinder level at the start of this school year. Now he's at a lower 2nd grade level! I've seen a huge boost to his self confidence. :-)

DS' IEP team is on top of things with any new challenges that arise to get him the help he needs. <3

[gardengal]

nicolewi, that is awesome!! My ds wasn’t on grade level for reading until 5th grade. It was such a huge relief, tbh, when something clicked & he could do it. He still doesn’t love reading and I adore that his 8th gr English teacher (advanced even!) allows them to listen to the audiobooks of assigned books as a blank option for all. It really helps.

My brag, is that after a rough start to 8th grade, he’s getting all As, save 1 B. He’s really gotten into a groove on how to study best for him & how to stay on top of assignments. All without an IEP or 504, his first year without supports. Additionally, he had his first group project & navigated a mediocre partner pretty well. Huge life skill, that.

My other son was just identified for gifted services in all core academic areas & music. He also is a really great goalie for his (very non competitive) rec team. I think I’m more nervous when he’s on goal than he is! And, he’s learned to cook a few things which is cool!

[fancynewbeesly]

Today we had my 13 year old's birthday party---it literally has been the longest year ever. Since she had a bone marrow transplant last June--she was in complete isolation up until the spring---so almost 9 months. Even with that-and being on homebound for most of the year-she managed to get As in honors math and honors ELA. She also got selected to be in the National Junior Honor Society-and made it into the gifted STEM program for 8th grade.

[gerberdaisy]

nicolewi, this is amazing, so happy for your DD! We are currently in the process of having DS evaluated for a learning disorder for reading. It has been such a struggle this year for him and reading this post has made me so happy about potential for future progress. I have a lot of guilt too that maybe I'm not doing enough at home, but that's a whole different topic, and I know he is getting great help at school.

[sometimesrunner]

That is amazing, nicolewi ! Watching kids succeed at something they've had to work hard for is SO rewarding as a parent.

[meanie]

May 31, 2024 11:16:51 GMT -5 waverly said:

DS has had all A's and B's in his classes for all of middle school (6th and 7th grade). This is a miracle honestly because he lost every sheet of paper that ever was handed out to him. With his tutor his EF skills have improved, but there was a definitely a dip at the end of the year when he brought home a library book, math book and part of his FM system instead of returning it to the school. I had to make 2 trips to return everything.  But overall an improvement from elementary school where he had C's in 3rd and 5th grade.  4th grade was Covid, so I don't think they graded accurately meaning most kids got A's no matter what the work looked like.  

DD is doing fantastic in 99% of the areas. The main thing she still needs to work on is her short emotional outbursts which are kind of a anxiety/ anger response. I think she may be getting a little better with that though, and luckily they only last a few minutes definitely under 5, but still need to work with her on that. I've been co-regulating with her for years, so wondering when it finally clicks through all the way.

We have the same kids! DS loses everything and has zero EF skills but is cool as a cucumber, DD has high EF skills and zero emotional regulation.

[niq]

Hi fives all around!
O (7) was having a lot of Big Feelings this winter and early spring. Minor setbacks would cause tantrums. Picking on classmates at school. Things aren't perfect -- she's 7 after all! - but she's improved a lot lately.

She's always enjoyed art, but lately she's been doing really impressive comic drawing. Mostly she's just copying out of the books she's reading, but it's more than I can do!

V is on cruise control lately, which seems fine. We did a couple of math competitions and he did pretty well given what he's learned so far in class. But other kids are ahead and win so he says "I've got a lot to learn".

[waverly]

Jun 3, 2024 14:57:55 GMT -5 meanie said:

May 31, 2024 11:16:51 GMT -5 waverly said:

DS has had all A's and B's in his classes for all of middle school (6th and 7th grade). This is a miracle honestly because he lost every sheet of paper that ever was handed out to him. With his tutor his EF skills have improved, but there was a definitely a dip at the end of the year when he brought home a library book, math book and part of his FM system instead of returning it to the school. I had to make 2 trips to return everything.  But overall an improvement from elementary school where he had C's in 3rd and 5th grade.  4th grade was Covid, so I don't think they graded accurately meaning most kids got A's no matter what the work looked like.  

DD is doing fantastic in 99% of the areas. The main thing she still needs to work on is her short emotional outbursts which are kind of a anxiety/ anger response. I think she may be getting a little better with that though, and luckily they only last a few minutes definitely under 5, but still need to work with her on that. I've been co-regulating with her for years, so wondering when it finally clicks through all the way.

We have the same kids! DS loses everything and has zero EF skills but is cool as a cucumber, DD has high EF skills and zero emotional regulation.

Let me know if you have any tips or tricks for either kid!

[meanie]

Jun 4, 2024 15:23:21 GMT -5 waverly said:

Jun 3, 2024 14:57:55 GMT -5 meanie said:

We have the same kids! DS loses everything and has zero EF skills but is cool as a cucumber, DD has high EF skills and zero emotional regulation.

Let me know if you have any tips or tricks for either kid!

Repeating myself until I am blue in the face for the boy and lots of long talks for the girl. Gin & tonics for me.

[waverly]

Jun 5, 2024 8:57:57 GMT -5 meanie said:

Jun 4, 2024 15:23:21 GMT -5 waverly said:

Let me know if you have any tips or tricks for either kid!

Repeating myself until I am blue in the face for the boy and lots of long talks for the girl. Gin & tonics for me.

Ha ha same.  

[notsopicky]

My kid earned all As for 7th grade (his goal) and I am so proud of him. He also got his next martial arts belt last week and he's excited to learn the new techniques. 

He is very disappointed though that he didn't get any awards this year. Especially in his language class. All I could say was that I was sorry that it happened that way and agree that it was disappointing. I tried to hype up the all-As, but he wasn't really having it. I feel bad that he's upset.

[redheadbaker]

DS graduated from elementary school yesterday. In addition to his diploma, he won an award for academic excellence (maintaining an average of 95 or above the entire year), and for art ("thinking outside the box" and being a leader in art class).

[magma]

It’s been a long and difficult road with DS, 14. He has diagnoses of ADHD, NVLD (a visual spatial disorder with social challenges as well) dysgraphia, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, profoundly gifted. Borderline ASD but never a formal diagnosis. Stuttering and articulation issues from age 3 to current.

1st through 4th grade was very hard socially, as well as motor delays, problems with self worth. He really only had one friend all of those years, was very much an outcast. Very immature and socially behind his peers. Big time emotional regulation issues and meltdowns at school.

He has done years of social skills therapy, regular counseling therapy, OT, PT, speech therapy. He had been on meds for the ADHD and anxiety/depression. Just when a corner starting turning in 4th grade, Covid hit and it was almost two years behind a screen, and many of his therapies really didn’t work behind a screen.

Flash forward to now. He graduated 8th grade, straight A’s in all of middle school. Most importantly, a friend group of 8 close buddies who get him and love him just as he is. In middle school he did a little bit of everything, from school musicals to cross country, newspaper, debate, academic clubs. He is beloved by so many teachers who wrote him glowing recs for private high school applications. He was accepted to every competitive top high school that he applied to, and is attending his dream school this fall. More new challenges and new people, but he is excited and ready.

All this to say, stick with it moms if you have a kid with a challenging profile. It hasn’t been easy but I never would have dreamed that he’d be doing as well as he is, given his past struggles. Bottom line - these kids change so much. You just never know what the future holds. I know how hard it is, but keep at it. I can’t point to any one thing that made the difference, it has been years of little things. Know that you are planting seeds every day and you just never know what it will grow into. You can do this.

[magma]

Saw a typo- he HAS been on meds for many years, and is on them currently. I do think meds have made a huge difference in giving his brain the ability to process all of the different therapies and tools he has learned over the years. It’s been a huge help for him.