OMG It's Friday!!!

[mae0111]

How was your week?  What's up this weekend?

[twinmomma]

This week has felt stressful, with a lot of last minute "emergency" requests from other departments at work so I'm feeling burnt out. Looking forward to a meeting free day today to get caught up on some things that have fallen behind.

No kids this weekend, so lots of time to relax and regroup. DH is working tonight, so I'll give myself a mani/pedi and binge some Grey's Anatomy in peace. I picked it back up again and skipped ahead to the later seasons I haven't seen yet and I've gotten myself fully sucked back in.

The rest of the weekend will be catching up on laundry and resting. My allergies have been killing me this week so I am ready to just get some extra sleep and hopefully fight off the potential sinus infection that's brewing. I've had a migraine almost every day from congestion and just generally felt awful. Fingers crossed we get some of the rain that's predicted to wash everything away.

[librarychica]

TGIF! I have felt slammed all week because I scheduled too much in June. A big work launch at the beginning of July, a family trip, driving the kids 2 states away for summer camp, and then wrapping up the month of June with breast reduction surgery. Plus my dog has been having health issues and also needs dental work and UPS LOST HER BLOOD.

Anyway! I’m very glad it’s Friday. After work my friend and I will drive the kids the first leg to camp. We will spend a day and a half in Savannah, and then drive them the rest of the way. It should be fun.

[rere]

Such a stressful week. I'm so glad it is over. General health stress and work shenanigans.

We have a busy weekend. One of my best friends daughter is getting married 2.5 hours away. At noon. So we have to get up early and get wedding ready tomorrow. Then the reception is not until 5. So that's the whole day. We booked a hotel for the night. Dd us already complaining about getting up early because she's tired from her first week internship. But her friends and our friends will be there so hopefully we will have fun.

By the time we get back on Sunday, it will just be meal prep and getting ready for the week.

[mae0111]

We had an eventful week! Kids had their last day of school, DD1 had a softball game and hit off the best pitcher in the league (OMG she was so proud)... AND she beat out a rundown (she is a very slow, rather awkward runner, linked to her NVLD and sensory things)... She and I were so happy that we didn't even care that they lost like 11-3...

Then she had her 8th grade graduation yesterday. It was a really nice ceremony, and DD2's class sang, so that made it even more special. Then we went to lunch with my parents, sister, and two young nieces. We had a nice time!

The new schedule is killing me a little bit. I started working for DH, but was still getting calls from my old job because they can't find a file, or how do they do something, or whatever... I finally had to cut them off. Their IT refused to strip their access off my computer, so DH spent hours doing it... I billed them for that... Then I had a client from like 7 years ago reach out with an emergency, so tried to deal with that... all while my kids were constantly interrupting me, since they couldn't bother DH because he was working... um... what am I doing?? On Wednesday, I received 55 texts, 10 calls, and 3 banging on my office door (one while I was on a call with a new colleague) from my kids. I tallied it up - those are real numbers. So I need to figure out how to manage this over the summer. Any advice for those that work from home? I feel like it should be easier now that they're older... it is most definitely not...

Both kids have plans today, and I think DH is heading to the beach house. I'll head down tomorrow with both kids and a friend of DD1's, just for the day/night. We'll come back early Sunday and meet my whole family for dinner. I can't remember the last time that all of us got together - every sibling, SO, niece/nephew. I'm excited!!

[mommyatty]

I’m out of town for work and can’t go home until tomorrow. Damn it! So this doesn’t feel like Friday. It feels like Wednesday. Of the longest week ever.

DD leaves for camp Sunday. She’s excited. It’s only Sun-Fri but it always feels so long! She told me she wants to do a 2 week session next year, and I really don’t want her to.

TW (kid suicidal ideation): DD’s bff I’ve mentioned before has been in outpatient treatment for more than a month for suicidal ideation and a somewhat anemic suicide attempt. She has spent the last couple of weeks in an inpatient facility because she refused to sign the safety plan agreeing to keep herself safe and saying she would talk to an adult if she felt like she was going to harm herself. Her mom took her out this week. According to DD, they are looking for a better residential treatment option. So I don’t really know how she’s doing. With this background, the mom asked if DD could spend the night tonight. Since I’m out of town, I said no. If anything happens while DD is there, DH has DS and can’t just go pick her up. I feel bad because DD and this little girl talk all the time, and DD can’t take her phone to camp. So this girl will be pretty isolated until DD gets back. It makes me worried for her.

[k3am]

I've slugged through the week. It's hard to care about work at this point. Especially when I'm onboarding a new client knowing that my work is for nothing.

Former boss reached out to me.. I guess current boss reached out to him. I felt like I was handling things okay until responding to his text today. Because at this point, I haven't reached out to ANYONE, but I guess it's real now.

[k3am]

And as a topper on the cake, the school district delayed getting DD assessed after we brought them her diagnosis for ADHD and a reading disorder, then said she would qualify for 504 but to wait until later in the year. We met several times and were always told wait.. then they just never did it. ONE WEEK before school got out, we had our meeting for her 504, but they "didn't realize they were supposed to prepare anything." They emailed us the 504 plan on Monday before school ended, but spelled my email address wrong, DH replied immediately with a correction and they didn't respond until today. And now we're told we have to wait until next year.

I would just like one thing to be easy right now. 

[mae0111]

k3am, there are several lawsuits in our district right now because of stuff like this. They just keep dragging their feet on getting kids evaluated/getting IEPs/504s in place etc, etc. DD1's therapist encouraged me to go through the public school system to get an IEP in place at her old private school... I was like, "Are you kidding? My kid doesn't even attend their schools... no way they'll work with me." I had to do everything privately, and I was still never able to get anything in place for DD2 because... ready?... her pediatrician, who has NOTHING to do with ANY treatment plan/therapy for DD2's ADHD and following anxiety, didn't fill in the proper forms. Because I didn't ask her to. Because she had no comment on any of it. Wouldn't take forms from our neuropsych, NP, or LICSW.

It's maddening, and I'm sorry.

[k3am]

mae0111, the annoying part is she already has the diagnosis. She's behind in everything, but not far enough behind for them to care. One of my closest friends works for the district and will tell me how terrible they are about IEPs and 504s on one hand, but also is annoyed that one of her students who is in a terrible living situation, born drug addicted, and REALLY struggling with school (and honestly just life!) is working with an advocate.

I love, love, loved her teacher this year. The reason we didn't push harder for the 504 this year is because her teacher was already implementing things and wanted time with DD to figure out what works best. (For example - the paper from neuropsych suggests the standard stuff like seating her near the teacher, her teacher has found she works better sitting on the perimeter with the ability to get up and walk around. And that she does TERRIBLY with any kind of accommodation that singles her out). I just think... they forgot about her.

[mommyatty]

k3am- DO NOT SETTLE FOR A 504! There is absolutely nothing you can do if they don’t follow the 504, and these clowns aren’t going to follow anything. After you request an assessment, they have a certain number of school days to complete the assessment. If they didn’t, you should file a complaint with the state. If they did, they owe you a Prior Written Notice (PWN) that they are not finding your child eligible for an IEP, and you have the ability to appeal that decision. If you get an IEP, there are very specific protections in the IDEA if they fail to follow it.

It’s time to start raising hell. Here’s more info: undivided.io/resources/iep-timelines-132

[k3am]

mommyatty, they declined to assess her in fall. Then when we pushed agreed to assess her but told us in advance she wouldn't qualify and she didn't. So as far as they're concerned, they don't find her eligible.

I don't have it in me to go down a legal channel.

[k3am]

I originally got a bounce back when I tried to email the principal to escalate, but he just responded that he's looking into it.

[twinmomma]

k3am, We can't get an IEP for DD2 because her ADHD and OCD don't impact her academically enough. So the 504 is the best we can do for accommodations because it's a medical diagnosis. They also wouldn't do the autism screening for her because it wasn't impacting her enough for them to think it was necessary. It's so frustrating that someone else gets to decide what "bad enough" is for our kids.

Definitely push back on the school with the deadlines and timelines they're required to follow. Even if you don't take the legal action route, putting those dates and info in the emails lets them know that you know what is supposed to happen. Otherwise you'll end up in a black hole. I'd also put a ton of different people on the email so that it's in writing in multiple inboxes. Principal, teacher, sped director for the school, sped director for the district, guidance counselor - all those people are involved in this process at some level so throw them all on there!

[k3am]

The good news is she’s come a long ways with her reading. I kept telling her if she didn’t like reading, it’s because she hadn’t found her genre yet. The last book club rotation was fantasy and she “doesn’t hate it.”

I bribed her with $50 for finishing the Percy Jackson series, regardless of how long it took. She’s already down one book in a week. Also getting Libby working on her phone seems to help - it’s super easy to look up words she doesn’t know.

DD was horrified by her report card. She got 2’s and thought they were good (because they were good as second trimester). 2’s at end of year mean she did not meet grade level. She’s so disappointed.

[mommyatty]

k3am- what they did is called “predetermination”, and it is illegal as hell. The IEP decision is made by the team that includes the parents. If your daughter needs a teacher to provide accommodation in the classroom, she needs an IEP. Sometimes if you just start using the buzzwords, they’ll shape up because they will be scared you might hire or have hired a lawyer.

twinmomma- true for you too. The requirement is the “need for special education or related services,” which includes stuff like executive functioning help, social skills, speech, etc. My son is at or above grade level in every subject. His grades are fine. But he still has an IEP for pragmatic speech and social skills. His pragmatic speech is to help him not sound like a 45 year old professor (his speech is described as “very formal for an 10 year old”) and understand how to advocate for himself without arguing. And they can’t decide before a formal evaluation whether her possible autism is affecting her. That’s predetermination. It’s a violation of their child find obligations and a violation of her civil right to a Free and Appropriate Public Education (FAPE). And it happens so often with girls because they don’t cause trouble. It’s maddening!

[supertrooper1]

Work has been extra busy this week, and every time I've been on the phone with a coworker, it's been an hour long conversation that only sets me back that much more.

We don't have a ton planned this weekend. The weather is supposed to be nice. We have a graduation party to go to for Beau's DIL's cousin. My parents are camping an hour from us with my cousins and invited us to visit and have smores, but I don't know if we'll go. Our Kids Bowl Free pass is now active, so we may take DS bowling.

[campermom]

Update: PDQ

My child w DMDD is almost done an Intensive Outpatient Program. It’s been 7 weeks of making sure we are logged in for 3 hours, 3 days a week of therapeutic services. We have had access to psychiatry every two weeks and the team worked w me in family sessions as well as w the school to monitor progress. ExH participated occasionally and wore a “Mental Health Awareness” and kept adjusting his camera so it was showing and it was so cringy for him.

We went to the neurologist. ExH was too distracted by texting me to argue about paying for two months of submissions of medical/phone/sports receipts that he forgot to show up to that appointment. We have done a quick PANDAS intervention: Motrin 24 hour regimen for 10 days. While things are better I believe it’s the medication adjustment impacting the positive changes. But we will see. We take 5 steps forward and 1 step back.

Waiting for bloodwork to come back-checking all kinds of things including strep and other autoimmune things to help determine if something brought on this crisis since mid February.

I’ve gotten through what I think has been the one of hardest stretches of single parenting. Work and school will be over soon. Baseball ended this morning for one, lacrosse recently ended for one, travel baseball and karate continue.

I don’t have the kids this weekend and I don’t even feel like going to boyfriend’s place. I’m just going to rest, reset, and focus on my health and well being. It’s Saturday mid morning and I’ve already been to the only two things on my agenda: two baseball games.

Oldest child has an infected finger, told dad he needs to get antibiotics and dad suggested mom take him right now during the last game of the season so that wouldn’t have to wait around in a dr office. He usually has the kids 4 days a month but June brings on more responsibilities for him as he will have them NINE DAYS!

Some things will never change.

[macmars45]

Jun 7, 2024 12:40:50 GMT -5 k3am said:

mommyatty , they declined to assess her in fall. Then when we pushed agreed to assess her but told us in advance she wouldn't qualify and she didn't. So as far as they're concerned, they don't find her eligible.

I don't have it in me to go down a legal channel.

They DECLINED to assess her until you pushed back?! That is straight up illegal. That along with the predetermination of the results have me seething for you & her.

Can you find an advocate to attend meetings with you and be included on all emails?

[waverly]

The kids were at my mom's this week. DH and I had a great week. It sounds like the kids overall enjoyed the beach and the museum, but the house is hot with no air conditioning and my mom is so stuck in her ways (can't open windows until it cools down in the evening, most of the food is frozen, bought a half gallon of milk and made them finish it because "she doesn't drink milk" just weird mom stuff. Made me take home hot dog buns because she won't eat them. She said she doesn't want the kids at her house next year and might come to our house to watch them (and maybe we could do a trip). But this was the second year they didn't go to my IL's and next year they will stop going to my mom's so it sounds like this tradition is gone and that sucks because it was nice for them to spend time with the grandparents. It's too bad that both sets got too weird (too old?) for the tradition anymore.

My sister made zero effort to see them. I could write a whole paragraph on that, but I'll spare you. Let's just say she, her husband and husband's extended family make poor decisions. Those decisions cause a lot of drama and impact her quality of life so then she becomes selfish and lacks tact. This year has been the worst as the impact of their poor decisions have rippled through numerous people causing negative outcomes.

[mustardseed2007]

k3am, I know it's a lot but there are advocates who aren't lawyers but are experts in the field of IEPs and 504s and accommodations. They do cost but they make everything so much easier and can guide you through the first steps so that in the future you may not even need them once they get you rolling. Just something to think about.