Friday?!

[mae0111]

I think? Crazy week again and hard to keep track when there's no school...

How was the week? What's up this weekend?

[mommyatty]

I GET TO GO GET DD TODAY FROM CAMP! Whoo hoo!!!! We miss her so much when she’s away. I hate that we can’t get her until evening. But it’s her third year at camp, so she will get her walking staff today, which is kind of a big deal.

Also, 1) it’s my 27th anniversary, and I forgot but DH didn’t so oopsies, 2) it’s Father’s Day on Sunday and all I’ve gotten DH is a pair of nice recovery slides to wear after he runs, 3) I’m in a really busy stretch for work that will calm down toward the end of next week, and 4) I’m in countdown mode for vacation in a few weeks.

[mae0111]

Our week started off bumpy and ended pretty well. The kids were fighting a LOT over the weekend and at the beginning of the week. Finally on Tuesday evening I sat them down and explained that I would not be spending my summer listening to and breaking up arguments. I told them to figure things out or I would find sleepaway camps for both kids for the ENTIRE summer.

Wednesday was a MUCH better day... and then DD2 spiked a low-grade fever Wednesday afternoon. She felt better in the evening, but her fever continued to climb... She woke up yesterday feeling fine but still had a low fever. DDs and I went strawberry picking and to pick out some penny candy, then I worked in the afternoon while the kids hung out. By Thursday afternoon, DD2 was shivering under all of her blankets and wearing a huge hoodie, fever was up to 102... Still there today at 101. COVID test was negative, she largely seems fine other than a headache.

So... weekend plans are up in the air, as I don't want to bring her around my parents or nieces. I feel bad - DD2 been invited to a friends' house twice in the past week, and I've had to decline twice - once because she already had plans, and again today because she's sick. I'm hoping they don't think we're dodging them, as this is a pretty new friend...

[supertrooper1]

This week was trying for me. DS was moody all week, topping it off when I tried to do something fun for him last night by taking him bowling and he pouted most of the time. Beau threw his back out and parked himself in front of his computer after work all week. He was also grumpy about work. I felt very disconnected from both DS and Beau. I hope to reset this weekend.

We're going out to dinner tonight with Beau's mom and maybe his brother. His brother never responded to the text and we're not even sure if he's back from vacation. My mom texted about doing something with them this weekend for Father's Day, but Beau hasn't given me an answer on what he wants to do, so I don't know what to tell my mom. I assume Beau wants to do something with his son and grandkids on Sunday, but between crappy weather, his back, and his now strict budget for himself, I think we'll end up just hanging out at their house.

[sandandsea]

This was our first week back after vacation and it was busy. Ds2 has an ear infection that has ruined sleep for all of us as he’s needing Motrin/tylenol to keep the pain down. Today was the first day I didn’t give it to him before camp so we will see. It’s day 5 of the drops and it finally doesn’t hurt to touch his ear so I’m hopeful he will be okay.

Dh and ds1 are out of state at a race.ds1 had a pretty bad crash yesterday but is okay and will be able to finish the races this weekend.

Work is crazy. There’s a huge push for billable hours and it’s getting redundant and frustrating to have to repeat the same messages every week - do your work, get stuff done, stay busy to those below me and chill out/be practical, they are working hard and trying and this is generally our slower season and people need to take pto to those above me.


This weekend ds2 and I are going to a movie and I need to buy/apply ant killer as yesterday we had some come in through the fireplace in the living room and today I found some in the bedroom corner by the sliding door (opposite side of the house). Thankfully There is no food outside of the kitchen and they aren’t there so I’m hoping the vinegar I sprayed keeps them at bay for now until I can get something better.

[polecat8]

I have just been overwhelmed the past couple of weeks, hence not really posting much here.
Kids have been out of school for two weeks now and the boys just started day camp this week.
FIL was in the hospital Sun - Tues for high blood pressure and vertigo. It turns out that he has a severely narrowed artery in his neck and he'll have to follow up with a neurologist to try medication. So DH has been focused on that all week.
I've been sick for the past two weeks with a cold that has morphed into the sinus infection from hell. I've had 2 days of antibiotics but am still struggling a bit. I'm debating on assisting with teaching taekwondo tomorrow morning. I could really use the rest but I don't want to leave the teenager (who is a paid employee, I'm a volunteer) by himself to teach 4 classes (one of which is for 4-6 year olds).
On Sunday, we'll do whatever DH wants to do. I think he would like to go mini golfing and get some takeout. I bought a piece of art for him, but it won't get here until Monday.

[waverly]

This week has been trying for us also. DH is working from home with boths kids (ha ha glad it isn't me). But he hasn't been taking it all that well. I know the feeling since I was in charge of them during the pandemic working 1/2 time and trying to care for them at the same time.

So he told me to take them out Tuesday night where DD pitched a fit because we weren't going to Target. We were doing what DS and I wanted instead of her. Then pitched another fit that she lost ice cream because of the first fit.

Wednesday was a normal night. Last night, DH was sick, so I did PT, ran DS to his haircut, went to the grocery store, helped DD cook dinner, took DS to horseback riding lessons then did dishes. DH is mad that I am going to a work party tonight and he is alone with the kids but I figure that's fine. I mean he traveled for work for 7 years, so.... oh well DH.   I arranged for him to take DD to her pool party and the neighbor will bring her home, so really all he has to do is drop her off and get pizza for him and DS. So it should be an easy night. He wants pizza every Friday night anyway.

I'm excited to eat good food and drink wine at tonight's party.  Saturday we have nothing.  Sunday DH and DD are running a 5K and then we are dropping DS off at sleepaway camp.  I guess Saturday will be prepping and packing for sleep away camp.  

[twinmomma]

Today was the last day of school and it was a half day. We made it! And DH and I are now both locked in the home office trying to get some stuff done while the children run rampant outside the door. We're laughing so we don't cry at the small glimpse of what the next couple months will be like.

I've already set the expectation with the kids that this summer, they're all stepping up around here. We're coming up with consistent, real chores as well as one off projects that they'll be expected to complete. We're very lax about assigning them chores right now. DH is basically a SAHD 90% of the time and he likes things a certain way, so he just handles a lot of the household stuff. But it's time to get the kids to grow up and start pitching in more. I'm also adamant that screen time will be very limited. They're not going to a ton of camps, but I'm not allowing pure YouTube brain rot for hours a day. You know those memes that have the list of stuff in order to get the wifi password? That's the vibe I'm aiming for around here. Wish me luck!

[186momx]

Last day of school here. Weather is cool and cloudy with a threat of rain so no major plans for the weekend.

Week was busy and weird. I took off Tuesday and Wednesday so I had 2 work Mondays.

twinmomma I make up a rough daily schedule for DD for the summer with time frames. It's a mix of outside time, chores, crafts, summer slide work, reading and then designated TV time.

[sdlaura]

I’m currently in Texas for work, heading back home tonight. I’m annoyed that my client had an important meeting in a hard to get to place on a summer Friday afternoon, but oh well. Meeting went well - it was to decide whether to retain my firm after five years so fingers crossed.

Today is DS2’s 7th birthday and all four kids are off, since our school year ended Wednesday and the preschool took a teacher in service day today. DH said he cooked a pancake breakfast and along with my parents is making sure the kids have a fun day. If my flight is on time I’ll be home to put them to bed.

Tuesday was a bunch of kindergarten year end stuff (performance and picnic). Wednesday was DD’s 6th grade promotion ceremony and it was great. Then we went to the county fair (which is probably the size of most state fairs or larger) yesterday with my parents, and then I flew out right after. All of this in addition to a busy work week has been a little crazy - but good!

This weekend we have a good friend’s bat mitzvah and another DD softball tournament. Plus a bday party for a preschool friend. I got DH a couple Father’s Day gifts but we don’t have any specific plans for it yet.

[mae0111]

I need to vent because a feel like a fool and I don’t know where to put this…

It’s been a tough week. Kids fighting, new job, dd2 is sick.

My dad called me in a panic yesterday because he thinks he screwed up his retirement account. He asked me to dig into it and help him come up with a solution. We talked about it and I’m going to bring it to my financial advisor. They review family stuff for free. I just needed his latest statement.

DD1 had a lovely friend over today who lives 30 mins away, right near my parents. So I texted my dad and said I was dropping the friend off, could I swing by for the paperwork? He said sure, and that my sister who had been visiting for several weeks was leaving tomorrow morning. I thought “Oh, didn’t know that, but glad I know now so I can say goodbye!”

I showed up and my mom asked if I was staying for dinner. I had made plans with DH to grab takeout since we really hadn’t seen each other. Then my sister asked, rudely, if I was staying. Thanked her, said I couldn’t stay, just picking something up from dad.

Then my other sister’s family showed up. She lives about 5 mins away. My BIL, nephews. Niece and two sisters left to pick up takeout.

So the whole family got together and had no intention of telling me. I walked in and made it awkward for everyone.

I can’t remember ever feeling so very small.

[sdlaura]

Ugh mae0111, I’m sorry.

When my sister had a milestone birthday, my whole family forgot to tell me about it. I live far away, but totally would have flown in. My BIL went out of his way to invite friends of hers who live out of state, too. I really don’t think it was malicious in any way, but it definitely hurt! Feeling left out is never fun.

[mae0111]

sdlaura - I’m sorry that it happened to you too. It sucks. A lot. It’s happened many times before, so I really shouldn’t be surprised. DH was kind enough to remind me of that when I got home.

I ate my dinner and went to my office and got into bed.

[mommyatty]

mae0111, I’m sorry. I really don’t know how you continue to be a devoted daughter. They treat you really poorly but then seem to always expect you to take care of them. Like the retirement account debacle. One of your sisters could have taken care of that, now couldn’t they?

[k3am]

Still no offer letter. I’m now two weeks from being told my division is going away and they still haven’t given me the offer letter.

I am heavily leaning towards severance because of this debacle. I will weigh DH’s opinion, but he doesn’t even want to discuss until I’ve gotten the offer letter in hand since “we can’t make a decision without all the relevant facts.”

Side note: we can basically break even without my salary. We’d need to adjust some spending, but it wouldn’t be catostrophic if I couldn’t find a new role within the 6ish months that will be covered.

[dglvrk2]

mae0111, I'm sorry. I'd hope the lack of invitation was more out of habit because your other sister's nearby location. It's still thoughtless.

I've been left out of family stuff too. I've been independent of my parents for as long as I can remember. (I completely relate to Via in "Wonder" even though my sister didn't need much medical attention aside from allergy issues until her adult years.) They reach out to me about financial stuff in panics then laugh with I make suggestions, as if I'm still six years old and not the most financially stable person in my family of origin. My sister lived only two miles from my parents (closer if you took a trail through the woods) for 15 years of our adult life. She moved to my state about 2 years ago. I definitely get left out of "family" events. My mom will also plan extended family meet ups, in far away states, during busy work times for me, and then wine about how it's too bad that my family cannot come.

[mae0111]

dglvrk2, I'm sorry. It stinks to be repeatedly put in this position. Like you, I'm very independent of my parents. One sister lives very close (in fact, my parents used to live 5 mins from me, and they moved 35 mins away to live 5 mins from her). My parents were extremely involved with them when they were little (they're mostly grown now). The other sister was living on the opposite coast, and my mom would fly out there frequently to help her because her DH travels a lot - even when she was a SAHM. She got WAY more help than I did when my mom lived 5 mins away, and I was working full time and DH traveled every week. I ask very little of my parents, and I continue to be disappointed in their reactions when I do ask - specifically my mom.

I was told last night at 715pm that I was expected at their house at 2pm for Father's Day. I just let everyone know that DD2 isn't feeling great (not a lie - temp is still 99.5 and has been up since Wednesday, but she absolutely would have gone today). It is just not worth another conversation about this. Every time I mention that my feelings were hurt, I'm the problem. So I'll just keep it to myself unless directly asked.

[mae0111]

Update: I was directly asked, and I did not keep my mouth shut.

After I texted both parents (because I can't just text one and assume there is any sort of communication) that DD2 was still not feeling well and we would not be joining today, my mother called me 3 times. I ignored the first 2. I finally picked up the 3rd time, and she was calling to tell me that she drove 35 mins to my house (was 2 mins away at that point) to deliver me COOKIES.

wut?

She has never just hopped in her car, especially when she is expecting guests, to just drop off some cookies. I told her I didn't want the cookies. She was shocked and asked if something was bothering me. Again - I don't think that she has asked my that question in my life.

So I said to her, "Let me ask you this... Think back a few years... if your dad called you and asked you for help with something... and you stopped by his house to get the information you needed, and you walked in to your parents and brothers and nieces and nephews about to have dinner together... how would you feel? Awkward? Hurt? Sad? Embarrassed? Now... would you then want to hang out with that same group that left you out a couple days later? Or would you just prefer to be left alone?"

First she said, "Well, I can understand how it would SEEM like we were all having dinner together without you..."

YES! It would SEEM that way... BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WAS HAPPENING.

And then she cried and said she understands that I don't even want to LOOK at her... but it was my Dad's fault for not telling her I was coming... and my sister's fault for not making clearer plans... I agree that my sister was at fault - apparently she decided Thursday night that they were leaving Saturday and didn't even tell my parents - she was STAYING with them...

In the end, I apologized for bringing it up (it was not sincere - it was snarky), told her I should have just kept my mouth shut since I'm always the problem anyway, and told her not to worry about anything. Not a nice way to end it, but whatever.

I really should know better... I just couldn't control myself when she called to tell me she was almost to my house with cookies... Come on...

[mommyatty]

mae0111, I am so proud of you.

[dglvrk2]

mae0111 I'm so glad you were honest with your mom! You didn't owe her an apology, even in insincere one. If she was wearing her big girl pants she would have owned up to her behavior in the situation. While your father and sister could have been better at communicating, so could she.

[mommyatty]

dglvrk2, I’m still processing the “it was your dad’s fault we got caught because he didn’t tell me you were coming so we could hide it or issue an invitation last minute” part. Wtf. Way to be determined not to understand the root cause of the issue.

[mae0111]

One last update... my dad called me last night. He said that there really was no plan, he didn't even know anyone was coming over, he didn't WANT anyone there because my sister is such a mess when trying to pack and had scheduled a 7am flight when my parents live at least an hour from the airport without traffic.

I said that may be true, but honestly, how would he feel if he walked into a similar situation when there's a history of this? He didn't know what I meant... I talked about the year that my sister had a huge Christmas Eve gathering with all of our family and friends, and "forgot" to invite me and my family... and when I pointed out that my feelings were hurt by the exclusion, and she threw a tantrum about being called out and refused to come to my house for Christmas as planned, I was told that *I* ruined Christmas.

Or that the following Easter, I kind of held back to just see what was happening... and no one invited me to Easter dinner either. I was called EASTER MORNING to see what time I was coming... and I told my mom that I made my own plans. And everyone was mad at me for that.

Or the baptism that my ridiculous sister planned in a week on day when she KNEW I wasn't available and asked me to be a godparent... UGH!!

He said, "No one would ever leave you out." Sir.. I literally just gave you 3 examples of being left out. Then he said he was old, didn't want anyone fighting. I told him I'm not fighting with anyone, my feelings were hurt, it's done and we don't need to discuss it anymore. That I didn't blame him, because no one tells him anything anyway.

So nothing solved, but there's nothing to solve. Moving on.

Thank you all for being so supportive. My therapist is on vacation this week LOLOLOLOLOL of course she is!!!

[dglvrk2]

mae0111, Wow! I get your dad not wanting people to fight. I also see that they're trying not to drown in your sister's waves. Still....they could acknowledge your feelings more and find ways to be more sensitive to you.

[waverly]

mae0111, It sounds like they have expectations with poor communication. Especially the Easter scenario. Expecting you to come over, but no advanced discussion about it.

[mommyatty]

mae0111, if it’s helpful for you… my way of dealing with this with my mom, who is an absolute piece of work, is that early on I decided I would rather not be included in her crap anyway. For a long time, my mom would come in town and she and my stepdad would spend a ton of time with his son but ignore my brother and me. My brother was always hurt and would want to call and talk about it. My response was just “Better him than me! I’m glad he’s putting up with her so I don’t have to.” Then she pissed off my stepbrother, so now she spends her time with my brother and my cousin. And again… better them than me! Once I decided not to care, I felt so absolutely relieved and so much happier. So maybe that’s how you should decide to feel about your sister. She doesn’t want to see you? Thank God. Praise be!