I saw a facebook reel today or some other video showing a lady in a drive thru line and the caption was something about what remote employees do during the day. I am probably late to the game, but it occurred to me that this is probably why during Covid employers were so accepting of remote work, but now they are so much less so. During Covid, we didn't have much choice but to stay home. Now that we are able to go to Starbz or whatever, is that what employers are thinking that remote workers spend their days doing? This bothered me a lot. I am a remote worker and I sometimes don't leave my house at all for days. I am definitely not regularly taking time out of the work day to do non-essential errands.
I think that's the view of some people who have very traditional in-person 8hr/day working lives and can't imagine it another way. I think a lot of people don't understand the differences between remote work and flexible work schedules, either. Like, I work from home 100% of the time. But my work is also asynchronous/unscheduled, meaning it matters not at all if I work from 5am to 11am and then again from 7pm to 9pm, as long as my work gets done. I don't often split my day like that, but if I want to take a few hours in the middle of the day to do whatever, my manager is totally fine with that. Other fully-remote jobs require you to be actively working for a traditional 8-hour day, just swapping an office location for a home location. I agree it's really frustrating to hear the "remote workers aren't working" line still being repeated.
To me, not to sound conspiracy-theorist, but my degree was in psychology, so I often think of things from the psychology perspective. It just seems like a psy op on the part of businesses to make it seem like work only "gets done" in an office setting. So they make it seem like remote workers are taking advantage of not being "visible" all day. Are there days that I run a quick errand mid-day or maybe go pick up lunch from somewhere? Sure, but it is rare, and only if my schedule/workload allows. (As a note, my company recently went from 2 in-office days to 3 in-office days, so only M & F do I WFH now.) I have always had the flexibility with this employer and my last employer to go to appointments mid-day, and then just adjust my work schedule over the next few days or whatever to get my work done. Would I stop for a coffee or lunch right before or after the appointment? Maybe, if my schedule allowed.
The older I get and the more I work with people in Europe, the more I hate the American work style and work expectations. But for me, I have always been of the "work to live" mentality, so working/my career is definitely not my life or my life's passion. (DH and I actually talked about this while we were dating, because it was important to me, and he was of the same perspective, to have a spouse who would be present and engaged at home.)
She can't set an alarm and get herself up & dressed at 12?
Natural consequences of not being prepared for her outings aren't an option?
I'm assuming she's neurotical, of course.
Well, for today, she didn't. I knew that she was having my mom pick her up, but no one had told me what time they had coordinated, and when she went to bed last night, H didn't remind her to set an alarm (I wasn't home).
So this morning, I had to track down my parents for details, make sure she was up, make sure she got the message from my mom about what to wear/bring.
She definitely has ADHD tendencies and needs prompting for routines. So I really need to know what routine she should be on so I can know if she missed something.
I say since no one involved you in the coordinated plan you could just stay out of it. Your mom was picking your DD up from your house so she could get your DD ready with the right clothes once she arrived at your house. /gavel
Regardless, it's time for a chat with your H and DD. You are home working not twiddling your thumbs waiting at the beck & call of your DD. My H WFH and he is not involved in chauffeuring DS around unless we have planned for that in advance. He has a shit ton of work and meetings so he can't drop everything at a moments notice and I assume most working people are the same.
Post by followyourarrow on Jun 28, 2024 10:05:03 GMT -5
I don't know why it took me until 45 to figure this out, but I need to get ready for bed before I'm ready to just fall into bed and go to sleep. Meaning washing my face, brush teeth, skin care, all that good stuff. If I wait, there's a decent change I'll skip things that I deem unessential because I'm too damn tired.
I probably shouldn't have posted. I am in therapy because of my relationship with my daughter, and how H and I are parenting her together, which has very significant issues that I haven't posted here and is a hugely sensitive topic for me. I hear you all, but I was just frustrated when I posted and need to bow out of the conversation now.
I will be enforcing her planning the week ahead by Sunday moving forward. This is only the second week of summer for us so we don't have a system down yet.
I think that's the view of some people who have very traditional in-person 8hr/day working lives and can't imagine it another way. I think a lot of people don't understand the differences between remote work and flexible work schedules, either. Like, I work from home 100% of the time. But my work is also asynchronous/unscheduled, meaning it matters not at all if I work from 5am to 11am and then again from 7pm to 9pm, as long as my work gets done. I don't often split my day like that, but if I want to take a few hours in the middle of the day to do whatever, my manager is totally fine with that. Other fully-remote jobs require you to be actively working for a traditional 8-hour day, just swapping an office location for a home location. I agree it's really frustrating to hear the "remote workers aren't working" line still being repeated.
To me, not to sound conspiracy-theorist, but my degree was in psychology, so I often think of things from the psychology perspective. It just seems like a psy op on the part of businesses to make it seem like work only "gets done" in an office setting. So they make it seem like remote workers are taking advantage of not being "visible" all day. Are there days that I run a quick errand mid-day or maybe go pick up lunch from somewhere? Sure, but it is rare, and only if my schedule/workload allows. (As a note, my company recently went from 2 in-office days to 3 in-office days, so only M & F do I WFH now.) I have always had the flexibility with this employer and my last employer to go to appointments mid-day, and then just adjust my work schedule over the next few days or whatever to get my work done. Would I stop for a coffee or lunch right before or after the appointment? Maybe, if my schedule allowed.
The older I get and the more I work with people in Europe, the more I hate the American work style and work expectations. But for me, I have always been of the "work to live" mentality, so working/my career is definitely not my life or my life's passion. (DH and I actually talked about this while we were dating, because it was important to me, and he was of the same perspective, to have a spouse who would be present and engaged at home.)
I'll add that I think the *kind* of work people do has changed so much over time (and will continue to change - I keep telling my kids that the jobs that will be available to them likely don't even exist right now) but the people hanging on to the "remote worker aren't working" trope don't understand it. As technology continues to evolve how just how we work, but also what work we do, those who haven't faced such a change in their tasks don't always comprehend that there are alternate methods.
But I also think that, like, 80% of the bitching comes from a place of "it was good enough for me, so it's good enough for you" nonsense and I just don't respect that approach.
I haaaaaate sleeping on my back, and last night I was finally able to sleep on my side again post-surgery! I've had this big wedge pillow setup going, and now I'm thinking I may switch to the pregnancy pillow that will keep me from trying to roll onto my stomach.
Speaking of kid plans, I'm annoyed that the rather elaborate plan I concocted to get mine out of the house today without needing a ride probably isn't going to happen. They were supposed to take the city bus two miles down the road to the movie theater, see something, and then walk across the street to get slices of pizza for lunch before taking the bus back up to our neighborhood. I just checked movie times, though, and nothing is playing that I think they'll want to see at that theater. DS 2 swears he's cool with just hanging out at home, but he hasn't done anything outside the house since Tuesday (except going for runs), and I don't have any projects for him to work on here today.
Post by starburst604 on Jun 28, 2024 10:10:14 GMT -5
My first night in the new place wasn’t bad. STBX dropped DD off this morning and we’re heading to the Cape for the weekend after our pedicures. Here we are on the steps of our new home. ❤️
Hugs jinkies. I hope the latter part of July can be a good break for you and also eye-opening for everyone in your home about how much you do for them. Maybe some positive changes can come from it.
Tomorrow we are celebrating DH's birthday by renting a boat at our local lake. It seats 16 and we'll have a full boat. We are supplying bottled water for everyone and will also have some alcohol, but people on their own for snacks and other drinks. We will also have extra sunscreen, towels, paper towels, garbage bags. The boat comes with a sound system. It's a double-decker so there is plenty of shade on the main deck, but I'm planning to bring a couple of umbrellas in case anyone wants to sit on the upper deck but not completely bake.
Is there anything else we should bring for the group?
I probably shouldn't have posted. I am in therapy because of my relationship with my daughter, and how H and I are parenting her together, which has very significant issues that I haven't posted here and is a hugely sensitive topic for me. I hear you all, but I was just frustrated when I posted and need to bow out of the conversation now.
I will be enforcing her planning the week ahead by Sunday moving forward. This is only the second week of summer for us so we don't have a system down yet.
(hugs)
Parenting is hard. I know you've struggled with your DD for a long while.
Tomorrow we are celebrating DH's birthday by renting a boat at our local lake. It seats 16 and we'll have a full boat. We are supplying bottled water for everyone and will also have some alcohol, but people on their own for snacks and other drinks. We will also have extra sunscreen, towels, paper towels, garbage bags. The boat comes with a sound system. It's a double-decker so there is plenty of shade on the main deck, but I'm planning to bring a couple of umbrellas in case anyone wants to sit on the upper deck but not completely bake.
Is there anything else we should bring for the group?
Tomorrow we are celebrating DH's birthday by renting a boat at our local lake. It seats 16 and we'll have a full boat. We are supplying bottled water for everyone and will also have some alcohol, but people on their own for snacks and other drinks. We will also have extra sunscreen, towels, paper towels, garbage bags. The boat comes with a sound system. It's a double-decker so there is plenty of shade on the main deck, but I'm planning to bring a couple of umbrellas in case anyone wants to sit on the upper deck but not completely bake.
Is there anything else we should bring for the group?
Apparently there is a Trump rally at a place nearby where we pass to go to the beach.
DH is freaking out and wants to get the kid early from camp. He has some sort of massive aversion to traffic and constantly worries about it going to the beach. I’ve told him he needs to either do something about it or not go. I can’t deal.
I also told him I will not be stuck in a car with a kid pissed we picked her up from camp early. So which battle would he like to have? His own or one with the child?
Oh, wow! How fun! We just rented a boat last week and were fine with just drinks but it was only for a few hours. As long as everyone knows to bring snacks for 7 hours. You've supplied above and beyond for everything.
Oh, wow! How fun! We just rented a boat last week and were fine with just drinks but it was only for a few hours. As long as everyone knows to bring snacks for 7 hours. You've supplied above and beyond for everything.
Thanks, it should be a good time! The upper deck has a slide that goes into the lake, so that'll be super fun!
Post by litskispeciality on Jun 28, 2024 10:32:28 GMT -5
I haven't been able to read everything, but starburst604 , and younger starburst you ladies SLAY QUEENS. Congratulations and enjoy your weekend!! ETA: I think you're from an area that would get this tounge in cheek...maybe have the house blessed, saged whatever you believe in, just for an extra measure of good things to come <3
Why on gawd's green earth is anyone promotion Chris Browns new music. I'm behind on pop culture so maybe it's been discussed, but shame on Spotify playing it at all, never mind in their New Music Friday mix. And I know maaaany problematic artists still get plays and attention, I just thought Chris Brown was a more universal cancelation so to speak, guess I was wrong.
Last thing to get everyone going on a Friday. I was yesterday years old when I learned that people in super hot climates possibly bake bread in their mailboxes when it's super hot. My colleague from the north east is going to AZ this weekend and is worried about getting burns from opening a hot car. Some other team members shared stories of things you do (frying an egg for example) in the heat. Just so different from my humid area where our heat waves are maybe 3 - 4 days of 90+, but we make up for it in cold, rain and snow.
Tomorrow we are celebrating DH's birthday by renting a boat at our local lake. It seats 16 and we'll have a full boat. We are supplying bottled water for everyone and will also have some alcohol, but people on their own for snacks and other drinks. We will also have extra sunscreen, towels, paper towels, garbage bags. The boat comes with a sound system. It's a double-decker so there is plenty of shade on the main deck, but I'm planning to bring a couple of umbrellas in case anyone wants to sit on the upper deck but not completely bake.
Is there anything else we should bring for the group?
Maybe this isn't a thing for your group, but does anyone nor drink alcohol? If so make your offerings clear so they can come prepared. I've been to a few events where most people were big drinkers and I didn't know that the only offerings were water and alcohol so I couldn't plan to bring something else. They were parties at peoples' houses so I couldn't order anything. It's a bummer to just drink plain water at a party.
Tomorrow we are celebrating DH's birthday by renting a boat at our local lake. It seats 16 and we'll have a full boat. We are supplying bottled water for everyone and will also have some alcohol, but people on their own for snacks and other drinks. We will also have extra sunscreen, towels, paper towels, garbage bags. The boat comes with a sound system. It's a double-decker so there is plenty of shade on the main deck, but I'm planning to bring a couple of umbrellas in case anyone wants to sit on the upper deck but not completely bake.
Is there anything else we should bring for the group?
Maybe this isn't a thing for your group, but does anyone nor drink alcohol? If so make your offerings clear so they can come prepared. I've been to a few events where most people were big drinkers and I didn't know that the only offerings were water and alcohol so I couldn't plan to bring something else. They were parties at peoples' houses so I couldn't order anything. It's a bummer to just drink plain water at a party.
Yes, we've let them know what we are supplying. Good thought!
Post by rooster222 on Jun 28, 2024 10:39:02 GMT -5
Earlier this week I impulsively cut off 6 inches of hair. I hate getting big haircuts because everyone comments. But no one has said anything to me! Now I'm paranoid it looks really bad and that's why no one is commenting.
7 hours and you aren't supplying any food? You are certainly well stocked on everything else, but 7 hours is a span in which I would expect a meal.
Not everyone will be on the boat the full 7 hours. We'll be docking at the marina every 2 hours for people to get off when they need to, and the marina also has a convenience store if anyone needs more snacks.
7 hours and you aren't supplying any food? You are certainly well stocked on everything else, but 7 hours is a span in which I would expect a meal.
Not everyone will be on the boat the full 7 hours. We'll be docking at the marina every 2 hours for people to get off when they need to, and the marina also has a convenience store if anyone needs more snacks.
Oh, that changes things. I was picturing 7 hours away from land and getting hangry by the end.
7 hours and you aren't supplying any food? You are certainly well stocked on everything else, but 7 hours is a span in which I would expect a meal.
Not everyone will be on the boat the full 7 hours. We'll be docking at the marina every 2 hours for people to get off when they need to, and the marina also has a convenience store if anyone needs more snacks.
But... that's still snacks and not actual food. Was your invite verbiage "snacks" or was it "food"? Because those are two different things. If the invite said snacks with a 7 hour span, I'd expect a food or meal from the hosts.
ETA: I'd send out a clarification txt or email saying that a meal is not being provided and to plan accordingly. That way there's no confusion.
Tomorrow we are celebrating DH's birthday by renting a boat at our local lake. It seats 16 and we'll have a full boat. We are supplying bottled water for everyone and will also have some alcohol, but people on their own for snacks and other drinks. We will also have extra sunscreen, towels, paper towels, garbage bags. The boat comes with a sound system. It's a double-decker so there is plenty of shade on the main deck, but I'm planning to bring a couple of umbrellas in case anyone wants to sit on the upper deck but not completely bake.
Is there anything else we should bring for the group?
You aren't providing any food at all? Maybe I'm alone in this, but I can't imagine inviting people to a 7 hour activity and not feeding them. That said, I provide food for pretty much any/all events, so maybe I'm the outlier.
ETA: I see this has been discussed, but I'd personally still provide food.
Not everyone will be on the boat the full 7 hours. We'll be docking at the marina every 2 hours for people to get off when they need to, and the marina also has a convenience store if anyone needs more snacks.
But... that's still snacks and not actual food. Was your invite verbiage "snacks" or was it "food"? Because those are two different things. If the invite said snacks with a 7 hour span, I'd expect a food or meal from the hosts.
ETA: I'd send out a clarification txt or email saying that a meal is not being provided and to plan accordingly. That way there's no confusion.