Backstory, my brother and I basically lived at my grandma's house every summer until I was a teen. She died in 2002.
My grandma's house sold in 2001. She lived there since 1940. The person who bought it still lives there and early on after they did some major remodeling (added 2 bedrooms and a bath in what was the attic, etc) invited my dad and aunt to come see it. He and my aunt were both on the board at the tennis club 3 doors down, so my aunt stayed in touch til she resigned due to age maybe 10 years ago. I would really love to see what they did to the house, but I am in Colorado and they're in Minnesota. I've driven past a couple times and seen them outside but I'm not someone to just go up to the door and be like "hey, I'm X's granddaughter, can I see what you did with the place"?
Would I be out of line to send him a letter about all this and include my e-mail and ask if he'd be willing to share pics of what they've done with the house?
Admiring someone’s house and sharing childhood memories is usually well received. Calling or writing ahead is polite and will yield the best results for what you want. Accepting a “no, not available” is equally polite.
My sister has a house built in 1898 and a previous owner came by to look with photos to share. My sister and her husband loved it. They even got a few photos to keep and even I loved seeing the old house & especially the former occupants in their clothing.
Asking them to send you something is also okay. You can include your email address or a self addressed, stamped envelope to mail photos. Or share your social name and encourage them to send a friend request. All okay in my book.
Post by penguingrrl on Jun 29, 2024 14:54:36 GMT -5
I’d want advance notice to make sure the house was company ready, but otherwise would be totally cool with it! My house was built in 1926 and the original owners were in it until 1991, then someone else owned it until we bought it in 2017. We’ve done a few noticeable renovations that might be of interest to someone who grew up here. If any of the previous owners relatives wanted to see what we’ve done I’d be happy to show them around! The middle family’s son is actually a police officer in town and was friends with my brother as kids (but he wouldn’t know we’re related since I bought in my married name) and I discovered my son’s BFs mom was a great niece of the original owner and remembers being in our kitchen when she was like 5.
I vote not weird. I've met several former residents of our house because they were standing outside on the sidewalk staring at the building. My husband also let a man who said he grew up in our old apartment back in the 1950s come inside to see his old bedroom. Seems like a pretty common thing.
I’d want advance notice to make sure the house was company ready, but otherwise would be totally cool with it! My house was built in 1926 and the original owners were in it until 1991, then someone else owned it until we bought it in 2017. We’ve done a few noticeable renovations that might be of interest to someone who grew up here. If any of the previous owners relatives wanted to see what we’ve done I’d be happy to show them around! The middle family’s son is actually a police officer in town and was friends with my brother as kids (but he wouldn’t know we’re related since I bought in my married name) and I discovered my son’s BFs mom was a great niece of the original owner and remembers being in our kitchen when she was like 5.
We were there 2 weeks ago and they were in the yard but like I said, I don’t want to just show up. I figured if I asked for pics they could clean at their convenience and then send them.
I feel like I’ve read this is not a socially acceptable thing. But I also think it would be regional. I don’t think I’d let someone into my house who said they’d lived here except for the lady who sold it to us. She even stopped by one year when DD was selling cookies and told us “it’s yours now” when I asked if she wanted to see anything. I’d be afraid anyone else who claims they lived here would be casing the house but that could be just because of where I live - a densely populated area with all kinds of trains and highways in under a mile so lots of people passing through here who don’t live here.
Wouldn't bother me if former owners of my house did that. Unless it was the immediately previous owners who were total asshats during the home purchasing process. They can look from the curb.
I think it’s fine. I’d also include your phone number too if they prefer to text rather than email. If I were the homeowner I wouldn’t think it was weird at all. I would probably be like “oh shit let me zhuzh the place up a little first,” so if you don’t get a quick reply, that might be why.
I vote not weird assuming you reach out first. It happened at my old house and was really interesting.
Our first house was an old farm building that had been converted to a summer house among a bunch of other bungalows built for summers in "the country". Overtime, the country became suburban, and people started living there fulltime. One afternoon about a year after we moved in, a pair of little old ladies in a Buick knocked on the door and explained that they'd spent summers there as young girls 50+ years ago. DH invited them in, made coffee and gave a tour. They told him all sorts of stories about summers growing up there before WWII.
About a year after that, I had someone in for HVAC service and the tech looked around and said he'd been in the house before. He told me the owner who had done a major expansion of the house in the mid-1940s. The owner had been the local scoutmaster and the tech told me all about cub scout meetings on my first floor and canoeing from my backyard. Evidently the owner was a very colorful character.
I think it’s fine. I’d also include your phone number too if they prefer to text rather than email. If I were the homeowner I wouldn’t think it was weird at all. I would probably be like “oh shit let me zhuzh the place up a little first,” so if you don’t get a quick reply, that might be why.
And that’s 100% why I would never go to the door and knock. I figure if I do it this way they can take their time and send it when it’s okay by them.
I’d want advance notice to make sure the house was company ready, but otherwise would be totally cool with it! My house was built in 1926 and the original owners were in it until 1991, then someone else owned it until we bought it in 2017. We’ve done a few noticeable renovations that might be of interest to someone who grew up here. If any of the previous owners relatives wanted to see what we’ve done I’d be happy to show them around! The middle family’s son is actually a police officer in town and was friends with my brother as kids (but he wouldn’t know we’re related since I bought in my married name) and I discovered my son’s BFs mom was a great niece of the original owner and remembers being in our kitchen when she was like 5.
We were there 2 weeks ago and they were in the yard but like I said, I don’t want to just show up. I figured if I asked for pics they could clean at their convenience and then send them.
Honestly, in that case I would totally have brought you in and given you a tour then died of embarrassment when I realized I had dirty laundry on the primary bathroom floor (and one of the huge changes was creating 2 bathrooms out of the space that the original 1926 bathroom previously occupied, so that would be shown). I wouldn’t begrudge it, though!
Not weird. In fact, the people who bought the house my parents lived in for 35 years invited us to see it when they sold it. It was fun to show my kids the house I grew up in!
I don’t think it would be weird to send a letter but don’t know that you even need to do that. But I also drove past my grandparents’ house a year ago and saw the guy in his yard so I stopped on a whim and explained who I was. (He bought it from my grandmother’s estate so there were no other intervening owners.) I guess I corroborated enough details that he didn’t find me a threat. He invited me in off the street and gave me a whole tour. It was great and so nostalgic. I hope you have the same luck!
I don’t think it would be weird to send a letter but don’t know that you even need to do that. But I also drove past my grandparents’ house a year ago and saw the guy in his yard so I stopped on a whim and explained who I was. (He bought it from my grandmother’s estate so there were no other intervening owners.) I guess I corroborated enough details that he didn’t find me a threat. He invited me in off the street and gave me a whole tour. It was great and so nostalgic. I hope you have the same luck!
As I've said several times, I've driven past and people have been outside. Between social anxiety and never wanting someone to do that to ME, I'd never stop and ask. I would never assume someone's home would be guest-ready or that they would want me in. I'd love to do that, but not without warning or a previous invite.
Not weird at all! I would not want to just stop by with no warning because I feel like I would be super embarrassed if someone stopped by my house without warning and I’m sure I would have toys out and a load of laundry on the floor to fold and dishes next to the sink… or be on my way out the door to some kind of kid activity. But an email request for photos or asking about a time to stop by? I think that’s cool! My parents were driving by the house I lived in until I was four and I can’t remember exactly how this happened, but they somehow ended up talking to someone outside without initially saying they had lived there, and then, when they mentioned they had lived there, the people knew who they were, and knew their last name, and immediately invited them in and gave them a tour!
not weird, but also, we have had people knock on our door growing up asking to come see the house because they grew up there like 40 years before and we let them in. We are also the people that show up and knock on doors of our grandparents' homes and they always let us in. To be fair, the last time we did this was far before the age of social media and trying to find someone to ask before showing up.