Wednesday Open Letters

[mommyatty]

Dear Son,

I hope you have a wonderful first day of school. I already miss you, but I am so very proud of how you chose to walk in alone once you saw the crazy line for parents to get a sticker to walk their kids to class.

signed,
Mom

Dear School,

Please take good care of my kid. He’s really precious and I’m so scared of how the world is going to treat him.

Love,
A Mom

[mae0111]

mommyatty, hoping your DS has an amazing first day!!

Dear Kids -

Yesterday was... something. Please be kind to one another today. I can't take another brawl like yesterday.

DD1 - DD2 is trying. Meet her halfway.
DD2 - keep trying. I see you.

Love,
Mom

Dear DH -

Hearing about DD1's former teammate's dad passing away at age 44 of a significant cardiac event while on a jog has me feeling a little panicky. You work like 14 hours a day. You're super stressed. You're not in great shape physically. You don't work out AT ALL. Your dad passed away young of a "significant cardiac event". Your mom has cardiac issues and afib. Please take care of yourself. See your doctor. Schedule your baseline cardiac workup. Try to cut your hours down. Work out a little - just a walk around the neighborhood with the dog would be great. I've literally been asking you for 9 years. Maybe this latest event will make this register with you.

Love,
Wifey.

[waverly]

Dear employee-

You are miserable mostly because that is your personality. But if you are so miserable it is OK to quit, really it is. Your job can be stressful with the public and 3 months of business, but the rest of the year it is pretty chill, and it is actually a super great job. It's just that some personalities can't handle working as a team. Also, things that you were told 2 years ago are not all that relevant nowadays, OK?

Signed,

Boss who is tired of the complaining

Dear kids,

I am so excited that you are going back to school tomorrow yay!!!

Signed,
Mom

[rere]

Dear guy that came to give me a bid on cabinets,

Please don't be too expensive. I've prepared myself for double than what we were bid before Covid. But if it's more, I'm going to cry.

Signed, really need a new kitchen.

Dear universe,

I realize I now work in a sketchy neighborhood these days, but having to maneuver around what we used to call a paddy wagon, 20 DEA agents in full SWAT gear and people sitting on the sidewalk in handcuffs was a new one even for us.

Signed, I don't need my morning to be that interesting.

Dear Universe,

I will have both kids in their own beds for the next week. (We are moving Dd back to school tomorrow, but she is coming home since class doesn't start till the 26th).

Dear Dd and Dh,

Let's try not to kill each other moving in Friday mkay? And whoever said it was mom's and daughters that bicker got it wrong in our house. Father and daughter are way too much alike.

Signed mom.

[k3am]

Dear kids,



I was okay with stuff like sus. Until spring, I held out hope that the new slang was just a terrible online joke. That skibidi rizz toilet sigma Ohio crap couldn’t possibly be a thing. Or if it was, you’d hold off, just like I never fell into “hella.”
*sob*

Signed,
Mom of two skibidi kids

PS: even worse, DH used it. And I knew he used it wrong. And the fact that I know he used it wrong makes me cringe.

[macmars45]

Dear DS(8),

Trying to teach you how to swallow a pill makes me want to bang my head against the wall. I'm trying for patience, I am. If you could maybe not throw your full water cup at me in frustration because I asked you to get a towel for the water you spilled on the ground when you forgot how to drink while trying to swallow a small m&m that would go a long way. Please meet me in the middle. I'm doing my best.

signed,
frustrated mom trying for patience

PS: a part of me doesn't want to bother with this skill and just let you swallow your pills with ice cream but I know there will come a day when there will be no ice cream available so instead I will strive for patience.

[rere]

Aug 14, 2024 11:41:34 GMT -5 k3am said:

Dear kids,



I was okay with stuff like sus. Until spring, I held out hope that the new slang was just a terrible online joke. That skibidi rizz toilet sigma Ohio crap couldn’t possibly be a thing. Or if it was, you’d hold off, just like I never fell into “hella.”
*sob*

Signed,
Mom of two skibidi kids

PS: even worse, DH used it. And I knew he used it wrong. And the fact that I know he used it wrong makes me cringe.

I have no idea what any of this means. But Ds put on his story a picture of one of his friends asleep (assuming not passed out in army gear) with the heading RIP. Dh was all like did that poor boy die. That is not what that means. And when our neighbor kid yelled BYE FELICIA, he turned to me and asked who is Felicia. That one was a while ago.

[mommyatty]

Aug 14, 2024 11:41:34 GMT -5 k3am said:

Dear kids,



I was okay with stuff like sus. Until spring, I held out hope that the new slang was just a terrible online joke. That skibidi rizz toilet sigma Ohio crap couldn’t possibly be a thing. Or if it was, you’d hold off, just like I never fell into “hella.”
*sob*

Signed,
Mom of two skibidi kids

PS: even worse, DH used it. And I knew he used it wrong. And the fact that I know he used it wrong makes me cringe.

Oh it is here to stay. And I don’t technically understand any of it. Other than anything involving Ohio means “loser” (cue the JD Vance jokes here). I got my kids little stress footballs that say Ohio when I was in Columbus in meetings, and they think that’s the most hilarious thing ever.

[186momx]

k3am, I have no idea what you are talking about.

Dear Coach Tracy
DD telling you NO she isn't comfortable with doing X skill alone on the floor doesn't mean you go tell her fine then you aren't a level 5 go work only level 4 skills which then DD bursts into tears. You are 70 and I really think it is time for you to think about retiring. This is an ongoing problem that the head coach is aware of. Also the wish washiness is getting old. One day you say it is okay to take your time and be sure and be mentally and physically ready to do skills on your own and then the very next day you pull the opposite.
Frustrated gym mom of a teenager who breaks into tears over everything lately

Dear DD
I know you have a lot going on right now and mentally you aren't in a good place. Allergy testing is next week so hopefully you will get some answers and can go back to maybe eating like normal. We have a consultation with the oral surgeon about your wisdom teeth on 9/5 so hopefully we can figure out where that is going and can get you some pain relief.
Please be patient and I really hope you have a good private with the head coach this afternoon
Love
Mom who is in your corner

[supertrooper1]

Dear coworker,

I apparently have 100 times more emails than you because you spent our morning in the office talking the whole time! I was trying to focus on emails that needed to be answered and didn't have time to look at your pics of your new tiny house or any other BS. And when you weren't talking to me, you were on TEAMS calls with other coworkers planning your team trip.

Signed,
STFU and let me do my work

[librarychica]

Dear self,

Why did you schedule this company wide launch when you’re on the second week of this year’s only real business trip? You won’t even be in the right time zone?

Signed,
Let’s reschedule that

Dear DD,

Why do you get SO MAD when we try to help you? The laptop was sluggish bc it had a billion school district updates running. Instead of letting dad or I look at it you fought with it for an hour, tried to do your Spanish and math on your phone, and rebooted it at least 3 times which just made it worse.

JFC your parents work in software & IT! Give us a chance to help you.

Love,
Your mom, who wishes if you were going to diatribe against your laptop you would at least do it elsewhere

[librarychica]

Aug 14, 2024 11:41:34 GMT -5 k3am said:

Dear kids,



I was okay with stuff like sus. Until spring, I held out hope that the new slang was just a terrible online joke. That skibidi rizz toilet sigma Ohio crap couldn’t possibly be a thing. Or if it was, you’d hold off, just like I never fell into “hella.”
*sob*

Signed,
Mom of two skibidi kids

PS: even worse, DH used it. And I knew he used it wrong. And the fact that I know he used it wrong makes me cringe.

I feel your pain. The skibidi phase over here was short but makes a resurgence every time the cousins get together. I have this theory that if I ignore it, it’ll go away.

[erbear]

Aug 14, 2024 11:41:34 GMT -5 k3am said:

Dear kids,



I was okay with stuff like sus. Until spring, I held out hope that the new slang was just a terrible online joke. That skibidi rizz toilet sigma Ohio crap couldn’t possibly be a thing. Or if it was, you’d hold off, just like I never fell into “hella.”
*sob*

Signed,
Mom of two skibidi kids

PS: even worse, DH used it. And I knew he used it wrong. And the fact that I know he used it wrong makes me cringe.

Follow his lead. Trust me on this: the way to make things uncool for middle school aged kids is to use their slang...the less appropriately and more publicly the better

[k3am]

Aug 14, 2024 14:53:46 GMT -5 erbear said:

Aug 14, 2024 11:41:34 GMT -5 k3am said:

Dear kids,



I was okay with stuff like sus. Until spring, I held out hope that the new slang was just a terrible online joke. That skibidi rizz toilet sigma Ohio crap couldn’t possibly be a thing. Or if it was, you’d hold off, just like I never fell into “hella.”
*sob*

Signed,
Mom of two skibidi kids

PS: even worse, DH used it. And I knew he used it wrong. And the fact that I know he used it wrong makes me cringe.

Follow his lead. Trust me on this: the way to make things uncool for middle school aged kids is to use their slang...the less appropriately and more publicly the better

Oh, I am a sigma rizzler, no cap! DH actually used the word skibidi to another parent. With no kids around. And not making fun of it. “Hey, your son was a little skibidi today at camp drop off, hope everything is okay!”

[k3am]

Also skibidi autocorrects to libido for me and it cracks me up every time.

[erbear]

k3am, that made me laugh out loud. That’s funny. What was the other parent’s reaction?

[waverly]

I texted our tutor about restarting tutoring, and it changed it to torturing. So I had to change it back to tutoring.

Although she never got back to me so either she is super busy with the beginning of the school year or she does NOT want to tutor DS anymore.

[sdlaura]

mae0111 DH’s grad school classmates knew the family you’re talking about well, I think. Did he pass in North Falmouth? That was so very sudden and sad.



My kids are also into the tween slang. If I hear ‘sigma’ one more time…

Dear work,

I am so over the travel and flights the last 3 days, while the kids were starting school. 7 flights in just over 48 hours is too much!

Dear kids, I’m glad you’re generally enjoying the first few days of school. We are so lucky to have such great public schools a short walk from our house.

Dear two clients I pitched to in the past few days, please help me replace the lost revenue of the client I recently lost. I’m stressed about my comp.

[mae0111]

sdlaura - yes that’s them. Horrible. I only knew them a little. My sister went to school with him when we were younger, but they’re a few years younger than I am. But they seemed like a really nice family and my heart is breaking for them. And selfishly, it makes me examine our lives/health a lot.

[sdlaura]

mae0111 yes that’s awful and they looked like such a nice family. Apparently they were really supportive to DH’s old classmate’s family when their daughter was going through brain surgery.

My DH had high cholesterol for years and kept trying to control it on his own but finally went on a statin recently. I’ve been chipping away at getting him to come back to Orangetheory with me too and I think I’ve almost worn him down. He used to go pre Covid but never went back and I’ve told him it’s fine if he walks during the cardio part. He’s almost 50 and our youngest kid is barely 4 - he needs to take good care of himself!

[mae0111]

sdlaura - the internet is a small place! I know that family - they are wonderful people. Really nice. I don’t know them well, but always friendly and with a kind word for everyone.

[erbear]

Dear erbear,

You have worked your butt off to get back into running. Why are you sabotaging your progress by being a lazy bum this week? GET OUT THERE.

Signed,
Me

[mommyatty]

Dear Son,

You had a great first day. Why the headache today? Please try to ignore it and just have a wonderful day. It’s the first day you switch to other classes, so please try to just get through the day.

I love you.

Love,
Mom

[sdlaura]

Aug 15, 2024 6:39:54 GMT -5 mae0111 said:

sdlaura - the internet is a small place! I know that family - they are wonderful people. Really nice. I don’t know them well, but always friendly and with a kind word for everyone.

Yep, they are super nice, and the husband works in my industry (like many of DH’s grad school classmates), so I interact with him through work stuff sometimes.