Tuesday GTKY

[waverly]

I googled some questions.  These were some interesting ones.

1. What goal are you working towards right now?

2. Favorite way to unwind after a hectic day?

3. How do you navigate through difficult situations or conflicts? 

[waverly]

1. DH started working with a personal trainer about 18 months ago. I started in May and that has been fun. I've lost a little weight not a lot, but also have gotten stronger and just generally look more toned.

I was also working on better communication since probably January, so basically all of 2024 with some progress. Mostly with other people not DH, but I like to think my communication is better with him also.  

2. I like to drink a beer on the patio with DH. We haven't been drinking as much so it doesn't happen that often, but it is fun. Sometimes we'll do coffee there in the morning also.

3. I tend to get mad, overthink it, and then calm down. But as far as the actual conflict, I tend to avoid it unless I HAVE to deal with it. I much more likely to address conflict with DH than I am with anyone else because we are able to problem solve pretty easily after all these years.  I tend to avoid conflict with most other people which I am not sure if it is helpful or not ha ha.  

[mommyatty]

1. I’m trying to figure out how to start exercising. I feel so much better when I do. But I hate the process of doing it and am an excellent excuse-maker.

2. DD and I are listening to the audiobooks for the Good Girl’s Guide to Murder series every night before bed. It’s really fun to have that time together, listening to really good books that lead to really good conversations that otherwise don’t have a great intro. For example, in the first books, there’s talk of a boy who spikes girls’ drinks at parties and rapes them. So recently we were at a water park and DD left her drink unattended. I just looked at her and mouthed the character’s name, and she asked another parent if they would be there if she left her drink on the table. (I was leaving so couldn’t watch it.)

3. I try to diffuse emotions and just remain as fact-based as I can. Then later I ruminate and fall apart in private, to be honest.

[waverly]

mommyatty , honestly I wouldn't exercise if I didn't have the personal trainer. I just have zero accountability on my own, but someone else monitoring it and checking in is enough to make me do it. He works remote too, so it's not like he is even there in person making me do it.

+1 to ruminating, although I have been working on less rumination this year, and it is sort of helping.  

[sdlaura]

1. I need to get my eating under control because I had too fun/disorganized of a summer and today even my shoes feel tight. I'm a nut about daily hard workouts so I'm fine on that front, but unfortunately my weight only responds when I change my diet and eat lighter. So I'm trying for that. I also need to de-clutter a bunch of areas around the house.

2. I read light, happy ending romance/rom-com novels.

3. I'm pretty direct. And keep myself too busy to dwell on much. And a main reason for the daily workouts is stress relief/working through everything in my head on the days I run outside.

[mae0111]

1. I really let my workouts/eating/schedule fall to the wayside this summer, and I have a plan to get back on track once school starts. It helps when DD2 has soccer practice 2-3 nights a week - I make myself stay at practice and I walk while she plays. Beyond that, my therapist has told me that I need to create a vision board. I need to think about what I like, what's going to make me happy, hobbies, my goals, where I want to go/be... and I'm really struggling with that. I'm so engulfed in keeping my family happy that I've lost sight of myself and my own feelings and goals. There's a lawtuber that I follow that often uses the phrase "I am not a cupcake. I can't make everyone happy." She said she started saying that because she has 5 kids and someone was always unhappy... I need to think more like that.

2. Dh and I usually take the dog for a walk when the weather's nice. There's a 1.5 mile loop through a nearby neighborhood and we all enjoy it. We also try to watch Jeopardy together if we're not racing off to a practice or something. If it's just me, some sort of mindless Bravo show is always nice. If we are at our beach place, DH and I will often go to a local Italian place. We will sit at the bar and split an appetizer and hang out for a bit.

3. I handle conflict in a really unhealthy way. First, I automatically assume that I am at fault, no matter the situation. Then, once I think through things and determine my degree of fault (0-100% at fault), and who I'm dealing with, I figure out my course of action. If it's an issue with my parents or sisters, 99.9% of the time I keep my mouth shut until I'm just over it. With DH, we've really gotten much better about talking out our issues. But I overthink EVERYTHING, no matter what my degree of fault.

[supertrooper1]

1. I'm working towards saving more money and losing weight. I set aside the profit from my house during my divorce that I received from our state bar association after it was stolen by ex-H's attorney. It's been making good interest in a HYSA, but I want to save more since housing is so expensive in my area. Eventually I'll need to replace my 10 year old car and would love to pay cash for a new car. I've been consistent at the gym for 3 years but haven't lost weight or really toned that much. I am much stronger, but need to focus on healthy eating, portions, and not using food as a coping mechanism.

2. Food has been my go-to to help me unwind, but I need to find a better habit. Right now it's mindlessly playing games on my phone or watching TikTok. I need to find something to do at home.

3. I avoid conflict as much as possible.

[twinmomma]

1. What goal are you working towards right now?

I am trying to get my eating habits and exercise back on track. I'm the heaviest I've ever been. Literally at my "pregnant with twins" weight at this point, but it's just more distributed and not all giant belly. *lol sob* I am tracking what I eat each day to get a better feel for calories and to have more awareness and less mindless snacking. I also joined a gym so that I can try some new classes. 


2. Favorite way to unwind after a hectic day?

Reading a book in bed is by far my favorite. I desperately need some quiet downtime at the end of each day. I put the girls to bed and tuck myself right into bed after them to read and decompress. 


3. How do you navigate through difficult situations or conflicts?
Not well? haha I generally have a combination of extreme "fix it" mindset, which is not always healthy or helpful for the other person involved in the conflict or I completely shut down and panic about the outcome. I have no in between. That's what my therapist is there to help me with. I have a lot of deep seated trauma around conflict from ExH so it's something I'm working through constantly. I find that at work I'm more able to be assertive vs. in personal conflict. 

[rere]

1. I am looking to remodel my kitchen hopefully before the holidays. This has been a long term dream. At work, I need to come up with a 5 year plan. Retire in 2 years and try something new, or get all the money and benefits I can and stay 5 years.

2. Mindless TV, videos on my phone or a good book. On the weekends, Dh and I like to sit on the porch or in front of the garage with a few drinks and grilling.

3. Badly? I usually have a delayed reaction. I usually stew and maybe blow if the situation is bad enough. Ideally with insight and talking through.

[librarychica]

1. I am studying for a certification related to my job. It’s hard — I haven’t had to study anything in a regular, formal way for almost 15 years — but it’s kind of nice too. I am working my way through the book and I also have a few video lectures so I’ll study while DD1 is doing her homework or pull out the book while DD2 is doing independent reading. There is one big exam and two specialist certain I want to take and I hope to to be ready by the end of the year.

2. I like to read and do most evenings but some days I’m just too antsy. Too much time in my desk chair I guess. Lately I’ve been going up to the Y for a swim and that’s been nice.

3. I don’t like conflict (does anyone?) but I don’t avoid it if it’s necessary. I have to psyche myself up for it, though.

[campermom]

1. What goal are you working towards right now? I’m training for a marathon. Determined to do better than last time when training really fell apart.

2. Favorite way to unwind after a hectic day?
Two answers: the not healthy one for me, and the healthy one for me
A) spend hours in a bubble bath with wine after my kids go to bed, scrolling
B) walk outside or go to the gym, read, drink water and get good sleep. Right now I’m in the healthy section but this ebbs and flows. I have very little moderation.

3. How do you navigate through difficult situations or conflicts?
Overthinking has actually served me well by predicting worst case scenarios which often come true. I’m perseverant generally speaking and thoughtful in my approach, but move firmly when it calls for it. I’m also not opposed to paying for my lawyer to tell me what to do.

[erbear]

1. What goal are you working towards right now? I'm trying to get back into running and weight lifting. I just want to feel better.

2. Favorite way to unwind after a hectic day? If it's nice out, a walk by myself with headphones. Or DH and I will sit on our back balcony (overlooks the street) on rocking chairs and read and have a glass of wine.

3. How do you navigate through difficult situations or conflicts? I bitch about them to friends and compose what I would like to say in my car, but generally I just ignore them. Not great.

[xctsclrx]

1. What goal are you working towards right now?
- I am currently working towards my blue belt jiu jitsu. I probably need some financial goals but I don't understand enough of it to develop one. Outside of the house and car we don't have any debt.

2. Favorite way to unwind after a hectic day?

- I walk or read a book. Sometimes I talk on the phone with DH (he is still deployed)

3. How do you navigate through difficult situations or conflicts?
- I guess it depends on the situation. Usually I try to address it head on but sometimes that is not the correct approach. Currently I am avoiding a huge situation with my extended family because I honestly don't know how I can help and I don't know what to say. I know avoiding too long causes problems in my sleep and now that I wear a smartwatch and I can see how stress affects my resting heart rate and sleep.