Walking to high school

[waverly]

Next school year DS enters high school and there is no bussing. The school is a little under a 20 minute walk and there is a hazardous road they can cross at a light or go under that road (bridge there). The light is not very pedestrian friendly and going under the bridge is maybe a little bit better.

This is a 2 part question but I’ll save the second half for another day. So my first part is, would you plan on driving him and then him walking home from school? I can take him but I can’t pick him up.

I was thinking of driving him because it’s a little bit longer walk and because of the hazard and just to make sure he gets there and starts the day well. But I could be talked into him walking with his neighborhood crew. But I don’t know that the neighborhood crew would listen to where I want him to cross at. A kid was hit in this road; he survived but fractured his skull.

But I also can’t pick him up at 3 every day. WWMM do?

People in our neighborhood both drive and walk. I’ve seen the walker who seems to do fine, and our other neighbor mostly drives.

[sdlaura]

My daughter currently walks 20 minutes each way to and from middle school, but there are no hazardous roads to cross. I think it’s really dependent on how well you can drill into him being careful around the road crossing and how well you think he’ll listen. In general I prefer that my kids walk, for their exercise and my schedule.

[nicolewi]

Is it dark when he walks to school? It’s pitch black when my kids are on the bus for a good part of the year. And also, what time do they start? My kids start so early that I wouldn’t want to try to accommodate a 20 minute walk every morning. So if they start super early or if it’s dark, I would plan on doing the drive, personally.

If it’s light out, and the timing is fine, and there is a crew of kids to walk with, then I would try the walk.

[jobae1234]

My older two walked 20 mins to high school. There was no hazardous road to cross. I’d take my kid there and make them practice the crossing several times even if they were mortified about it.

We drove our kids in if weather was bad. They always walked home.

[sdlaura]

She just started middle school a couple weeks ago, but nope, shouldn’t ever be dark. School starts at 8:15 so she leaves at 7:45. Were in the southern part of the country, so it’s always light by then.

[wanderingback]

I guess I’m not exactly understanding how the bridge is hazardous if it goes under the road?

Living in a city I am a bit paranoid about bad and impatient drivers (definitely have almost gotten hit before). But I know I need to let my anxiety go about it at some point when it’s appropriate for my daughter to travel on her own. She will absolutely have to walk to and from school. And a high schooler should absolutely be able to walk 20 minutes to and from school. That is a "normal" distance, especially for an able bodied young person and I absolutely would not drive them.

[waverly]

Aug 25, 2024 19:39:10 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

I guess I’m not exactly understanding how the bridge is hazardous if it goes under the road?

Living in a city I am a bit paranoid about bad and impatient drivers (definitely have almost gotten hit before). But I know I need to let my anxiety go about it at some point when it’s appropriate for my daughter to travel on her own. She will absolutely have to walk to and from school. And a high schooler should absolutely be able to walk 20 minutes to and from school. That is a "normal" distance, especially for an able bodied young person and I absolutely would not drive them.

To get under the road they have to cross another busy road with a lot of industrial trucks. However the traffic isn’t going super fast because it is a short road. Probably the better option.

School hours are 8-3 so might be dark some mornings good point.

Based on this I’m leaning towards him walking except for bad weather or darkness. That kind of helps my part 2 question.

[SusanBAnthony]

My high schoolers usually choose to bike, but if they walk its about 20 minutes each way. As lo g as the ground isnt icy (which really only happens a few times a winter, it is fi e by a day after a storm) they walk or bike year round as needed.

Like you we sometimes drive (or they bus) to school and walk home.

No issues and i dont have concerns. I trust both kids to follow road safety rules.

[erbear]

That child would be a walker in my house. To and from.

[pittpurple]

My daughter started walking herself to school at 9, almost 10 - it's just over a mile, with a couple not-ideal crossings, but she's done fine. She's in high school now (they start high school earlier here in Scotland) and would never want me anywhere near her school lol.
We are now back to walking my son to school (my daughter walked him to school last year) and intend on him walking himself at the same age.

[Jalapeñomel]

My 10 year old will walk to school next year, rain, snow, or shine.

Have you reached out to the school to see if they have a crossing guard to monitor that section of the road?

[waverly]

Aug 26, 2024 7:06:44 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

My 10 year old will walk to school next year, rain, snow, or shine.

Have you reached out to the school to see if they have a crossing guard to monitor that section of the road?

They definitely do not have a crossing guard. It’s actually considered a hazard for lower grades and we get bussing because of it, but they decided it’s not a hazard for high school. Different districts don’t get me started on that.

I may be reaching out to both the village for more pedestrian friendly work and the school. For example my kids tell me that the walk button at the light doesn’t work.

[heygrey]

If he doesn't start now, when will he? Teenagers have to practice at being adults and this is a relatively safe scenario to do that. He knows the light is broken and that he has to be extra vigilant at that intersection.

I would reach out to transportation/roads crew to have the walk button fixed because that is a hazard to everyone crossing there (drivers and pedestrians), but I wouldn't twist my schedule into a pretzel to protect an otherwise capable high schooler.

[ECB]

I walked over a mile to and from for high school and it involved crossing a very busy road.

I feel like these are basic live skills we need to let our kids learn.

[plutosmoon]

If it were dark in the morning, or an unsafe temperature I would drive my own DD. I live in a rural area we don't have many streetlights and bears (DD has pretty severe animal fear and reacts the wrong way) are out at certain times of the year. If there is ample lighting and the temps are safe I'd let him walk or bike, especially in the afternoon. I would recommend he checks to see if others want to walk with him. I would complain about the broken walk light to the city and school, see if that can get fixed. DD walked or biked this past year (just under half a mile) unless it was really cold, she is neurodiverse and sometimes the cold doesn't seem to register properly for her, so she will take off winter gear even at temps below zero.

[waverly]

Thanks everyone. Him walking 99% of the time means that I don't have to worry about the neighbors trying to get me to drive their kids to school every day. The neighbors can be very disorganized- making asks last minute, somewhat demanding, and while they do make an effort, the carpool is ALWAYS uneven.

So him walking would solve a lot of that also. And plus also, there are 2-3 other neighbor families that would be in the mix making a regular carpool situation complicated. I know of 5 other kids that will be high school age, and no one's car really will fit 6-7 kids. 

I'll just be prepared that it may get complicated on days the weather is bad, but our winters have gotten much milder except for the month of January.

[InBetweenDays]

Is the busy road close to the school? Have you been by there when school lets out? Our school is about a 15-20 minute walk but it's all urban neighborhood - only one road that is 30 mph the rest are 25 mph. We also don't have any bussing, so when school gets out the crosswalks right near the school are PACKED with students either walking home, walking to a city bus, or walking to their cars. I wouldn't want to rely on this, but there is some safety in numbers so if there are a lot of kids crossing I would hope the drivers are more aware and careful.

That said I would most definitely contact the city about fixing the crosswalk to make sure it is more walker friendly - especially around the times that school starts/gets out.

[waverly]

The busy road is about .4 miles away from the school so the kids have kind of dispersed a bit by then.

[jinkies]

I'm basing this on our situation-- my son is in high school, it's about a 20 minute walk and involves a brief walk along, and then crossing, a fairly busy road.

In our case this is not set up as a pedestrian route-- there are no sidewalks and no pedestrian crosswalks.

I am fine with him walking home because it is full daylight and not rush hour. I wouldn't let him walk to school though since it would be dark for most of the school year, it's a busy going-to-work time of day, and drivers aren't really looking for pedestrians.

I'm assuming that there is some level of expected pedestrian traffic on your school's route though since they aren't offering bussing. I'd probably have him try walking both ways at least until the time change. By then he will have a better sense of the safety and what you both are comfortable with. You can re-assess for the darker months whether you both feel it is safe when he's doing it in the dark.

[waverly]

jinkies , we have sidewalks and crosswalks. But it is a busy road that goes from 55 to 25 somewhat abruptly and people are not really slowing down. Tons of semi trucks from local industrial areas. He doesn't have to cross train tracks, but they are 1 street over, and lots of pedestrians and drivers going in and out of the train station. Lots of accidents on the busy road, and someone was hit and killed this summer on the train tracks. I think there was extenuating circumstances. The story was her kids were playing on the tracks and she saved them, but I am not sure why they were on the tracks (school age not toddlers). As well as the kid that was hit on the main road, and survived.

I think the whole area could use a pedestrian safety study and road safety study, IMO, but I don't run the world.

High School starts at 8 am, and google tells me that sunrise is at 7:15 on the longest night of the year, so we might be OK on the darkness issue.

I'll definitely drive him if there is ice.  It's on a hill, so the ice is even worse.  

[devonpow]

DS1 is a senior this year and walks to and from school every day - it’s a touch over a mile so takes him between 15-20 minutes. He does 3 seasons of sports so is walking home after dark most of the year. No hazardous crossings though. I think we have driven him maybe 3 times? All due to really severe weather. There’s no parking at the school so very few kids drive, even when seniors etc.

We may have a different attitude toward it because we are an urban area where walking and public transportation is the norm (he could take the train one stop to go to the school but it’s basically faster to walk), but I think it’s totally fine and good for him to walk. He’s also very prepared for walking giant college campuses next year lol

[wanderingback]

Aug 25, 2024 19:45:28 GMT -5 waverly said:

Aug 25, 2024 19:39:10 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

I guess I’m not exactly understanding how the bridge is hazardous if it goes under the road?

Living in a city I am a bit paranoid about bad and impatient drivers (definitely have almost gotten hit before). But I know I need to let my anxiety go about it at some point when it’s appropriate for my daughter to travel on her own. She will absolutely have to walk to and from school. And a high schooler should absolutely be able to walk 20 minutes to and from school. That is a "normal" distance, especially for an able bodied young person and I absolutely would not drive them.

To get under the road they have to cross another busy road with a lot of industrial trucks. However the traffic isn’t going super fast because it is a short road. Probably the better option.

School hours are 8-3 so might be dark some mornings good point.

Based on this I’m leaning towards him walking except for bad weather or darkness. That kind of helps my part 2 question.

Ok got it. Assuming there are sidewalks and you’re not walking in the middle of the street then yes he would absolutely have to walk, no questions asked. 9th grade is certainly old enough to navigate this and we can’t shield our kids from the world forever. Again, if there are sidewalks I think it’s fine to walk in the dark as well.

[outnumbered]

Aug 26, 2024 10:15:06 GMT -5 waverly said:

Thanks everyone. Him walking 99% of the time means that I don't have to worry about the neighbors trying to get me to drive their kids to school every day. The neighbors can be very disorganized- making asks last minute, somewhat demanding, and while they do make an effort, the carpool is ALWAYS uneven.

So him walking would solve a lot of that also. And plus also, there are 2-3 other neighbor families that would be in the mix making a regular carpool situation complicated. I know of 5 other kids that will be high school age, and no one's car really will fit 6-7 kids. 

I'll just be prepared that it may get complicated on days the weather is bad, but our winters have gotten much milder except for the month of January.

.
It is great you live close enough that your son can walk. It will make your days less stressful.
Why do you have to consider the neighbors when you drive? Can't you just drive your own kid? There does not have to be a complicated carpool.

[waverly]

Aug 28, 2024 22:40:27 GMT -5 outnumbered said:

Aug 26, 2024 10:15:06 GMT -5 waverly said:

Thanks everyone. Him walking 99% of the time means that I don't have to worry about the neighbors trying to get me to drive their kids to school every day. The neighbors can be very disorganized- making asks last minute, somewhat demanding, and while they do make an effort, the carpool is ALWAYS uneven.

So him walking would solve a lot of that also. And plus also, there are 2-3 other neighbor families that would be in the mix making a regular carpool situation complicated. I know of 5 other kids that will be high school age, and no one's car really will fit 6-7 kids. 

I'll just be prepared that it may get complicated on days the weather is bad, but our winters have gotten much milder except for the month of January.

.
It is great you live close enough that your son can walk. It will make your days less stressful.
Why do you have to consider the neighbors when you drive? Can't you just drive your own kid? There does not have to be a complicated carpool.

The neighbors have been problematic for years. It’s a lot, so I don’t necessarily want to change the whole thread to address that separate problem. But I do need to have my plan set, because a big part of it is setting boundaries with them.

[heygrey]

The less info you give the neighbours, the better. "DS has decided to walk to school this year." Repeat, repeat, repeat. If you decide to drive him a few days, that is 100% your business. If they are really assholes about it, "Our schedule has changed and we cannot commit to a carpool."

[lolalolalola]

My high schooler would walk 35 minutes, mostly uphill to school (downhill on the way home), if I let her. However there is very small stretch that is narrow with no sidewalks and almost no shoulders, and I don’t trust that drivers will see her on the side of the road in the morning when it is dark. No issues when it’s light. I wont personally walk it in the dark but no issue otherwise.

So the time or distance isn’t an issue for me but I would not allow my kid to walk somewhere dangerous.

[waverly]

lolalolalola , I would deem crossing the road dangerous, but not the rest of the walking because of the sidewalks.

 I have proof from another government entity that this road is a hazard. So I definitely have some grounds to stand on when I contact the village (pedestrian safety) and the school district (add bussing? Crossguard?). The village tends to be responsive. I'm pretty sure the school district will shut down my thoughts but at least then I would have tried.

[livinitup]

Have you asked him his preference? My teen is going into 11th and has strong opinions about stuff like this. We do a diner breakfast 1 day a week with school drop off. Otherwise, it’s up & out on her own.

[waverly]

Aug 30, 2024 20:04:30 GMT -5 livinitup said:

Have you asked him his preference? My teen is going into 11th and has strong opinions about stuff like this. We do a diner breakfast 1 day a week with school drop off. Otherwise, it’s up & out on her own.

I want to get an understanding first of what I am willing to do. I don’t want to offer the option of driving every morning if it is something I become resentful for. So we haven’t had a big discussion about it yet. Also why I am posting this early, so I have plenty of time to mull it over and do my action steps. I want to be able to say something like since there is no bussing you will walk unless bad weather.

My general idea is that he likes to walk with his friends but if mom offers to drive he wouldn’t turn it down.

[livinitup]

waverly I suppose I’m wondering if that’s something you can assess together. I am often surprised at how “fair” DD can be sometimes. If he has a plan and can articulate what he needs, it may make you feel better about your decision - either way.