Another psychology of money but with inheritance

[flygirl]

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I received an inheritance from someone who was like a mother to me. I’ve had a really hard time spending any of it because she was a VERY frugal person and she would not have just spent it on a bunch of crap.  I’ve basically held on to the money with the exception of a few small things including resetting a piece of her jewelry and making a vacation a little more lux. However, my family camps a lot.  We currently have a holiday trailer that we use many times during the summer including longer trips.  Our current trailer is fine but it would be great to have more space (we don’t have a couch where we can all sit inside).  H& I went and looked at a 5th wheel yesterday and really love it.  But…it would essentially take the rest of the money I received.  I know my pseudo mom would be thrilled we are using the money for something the whole family can enjoy, I just have so many feelings about it.  Campers are a major deteriorating asset and as they say you might as well set your money on fire.  We do it a lot as a family though and my DS would love his new space.  Help me….

[Pom]

Your dearest friend left this money for you, presumably knowing your lifestyle and because you are loved. I don’t think spending it on something like an RV, something your family will use to make memories and I presume you will think of her and bring her along in your heart on big camping adventures, is at all frivolous.

[flygirl]

Pom, that literally made me tear up. Thank you

[aprilsails]

I think it's sometimes important to look at the factors that led someone to be frugal. For instance, my ILs have boatloads of money and spend next to nothing. MIL grew up very poor, and their bad health has effectively housebound them in retirement. MIL loves coupon shopping (it's her main hobby). FIL now has dementia, so MIL is terrified of the costs associated with memory care. However, he may not make it that long due to other health complications (or he might last forever).

I view money received from an inheritance as fun money. For me, I don't consider it a part of my retirement planning since it may never show up. So to me it's an opportunity to do something that you desire without regards to long term planning.

[laterz]

If I were this person, that would make me very happy for you to use it for something you will enjoy with your family, that will make new memories.

[sadlebred]

I think she would want you to do something that makes you happy.

[jobae1234]

I got a large inheritance and I get your feelings! As my BFF (whose parents died a long time ago) told me, dead people don’t have needs. Do what you want with it.

It’s a cherry on top that your friend would approve.

[tacokick]

Would finding a used one help ease your mind? I see really nice pretty new ones for sale a lot.

[ellipses84]

I wouldn’t look at it as a depreciating asset when it will be providing priceless memories for you with your family and make the camping trips easier on you. You only have so many more years before your kids go off on their own and may not have as much time to camp with you. I imagine you could still sell it for something in a few years, or you’d eventually have to replace the one you have. Even if your loved one was frugal and couldn’t / wouldn’t do this for themselves, they might be the first person to tell you to enjoy the precious opportunity you’ve been given.

If you feel more comfortable compromising, you could invest the money short term and hold off on the upgrade, you could invest part of it and find other ways to pay for part of it, or you could use all the money with the agreement that $x amount per month will be invested for x amount of time in lieu of a trailer payment, so that in a few years you still have some of the “inheritance”.

[midwestmama]

Agree with others - I would think this loved one would be so happy that you used the money for something you and your family will enjoy. Sounds like a lot of great family memories will be made in the 5th wheel, and I'm sure you will think of your loved one often because of it. (Around Labor Day is a good time to buy campers/trailers/5th wheels, at least where I live. End of summer clearance!)

[mainelyfoolish]

Cars are also depreciating assets, but they provide real utility while you have and use them. You don’t want to *invest* in a depreciating asset or spend more money than you can afford because you won’t be able to resell it to recoup your investment. If you’re buying the camper because of the utility it offers, then don’t worry about the fact that it depreciates.

[heygrey]

I hate the term "depreciating asset" because a camper isn't an asset. It's a functional item that brings joy to your life. Like clothing and furniture and a car and toys for our kids. We buy things all the time without expecting to recoup the money spent because the items is functional or enjoyable.

This isn't an aspirational purchase for your family because you think you might like camping. You actively camp and travel and know how this fifth wheel would improve that experience.

Buying a camper that allows your family to spend time together and create memories sounds like the perfect way to honour someone you love and who loved you dearly.

[flygirl]

Thank you all for the additional perspective. We might wait til early spring to trade up because we only have 2 more trips this year, one being next weekend and logistically it would just be chaotic. This will allow me to see what kind of bonus I get next March also.

For those that are familiar with campers—we’ve been looking for a model that has a space for our DS and love the mid-bunk models but they are waaay too long as our driveway barely fits our current 27’ trailer. We’ve been focused on finding something that’s less than 32-35 feet and this is a new layout which would work great and fits! I’m hoping they don’t modify it for 2025. The only option we wish we could get is a king bed but not a deal breaker as it has a true queen.

My relative would love the idea but as I said she was frugal so she’d probably be like can’t you find a cheaper model-and then her H would have been like get what you want! Ha ha

I use the term depreciating asset simply because while a car has utility and so does the camper for us, this particular camper is like buying a BMW/Volvo when a Toyota will work if that makes sense.

[heygrey]

Sept 2, 2024 11:30:38 GMT -5 flygirl said:

I use the term depreciating asset simply because while a car has utility and so does the camper for us, this particular camper is like buying a BMW/Volvo when a Toyota will work if that makes sense.

Assuming you aren't in deep amounts of debt or wildly behind on retirement, this is just a splurge for something you already do and love. We all have areas where we buy more than we strictly need because it brings us joy. 

I hope you get a new camper, either now or next spring, and you continue to create memories with your family for years to come. 

[simpsongal]

I hope you get the trailer, it sounds perfect.

FWIW - my grandparents were extremely frugal, when my grandpop died my mom gave us kids $25K from his estate. We used it to help build a screen porch, which was a dream of ours and a place my dad absolutely adored until his untimely death a few years later. I think about my grandpop when we're out there, I tell my kids about him (my son is named after him). Meanwhile my brothers used it for debt (of which he is perpetually in), and the other illicit drugs.

[fn2187]

I’m frugal but I hope those who inherit my money will enjoy it and not be as frugal as I!

[CrazyLucky]

DH had something kind of similar when he inherited money from his Dad. We/he try to use it on things we know would have made his dad happy. DH and FIL were really into photography and so DH bought a nice camera. DH and FIL (and the rest of us) are also very into camping and into making family memories. If this person cared enough to leave this money with you, she knew you would spend it in the best way for you. And I can imagine that had you said, "I'm going to spend the money you leave me on something that my family will enjoy and will create many wonderful memories for years to come," she would have been ecstatic.