Give me your back-to-school evening tips

[nicolewi]

Kids started school yesterday. None of us love it but we are trying to be positive! I am super stressed b/c I felt like last year was soooo hectic. I'm usually the only adult home in the evenings and we have activities, etc, so when I am off driving around, it seems like nothing gets done at home and we are always rushing to get through dinner and homework. Kids are 10th, 8th, 6th and 4th. 

I'm really trying to push this year taking responsibility for your own stuff and not waiting for Mom to help. Organization and routines are not my strong suit but I am trying. I think I definitely have ADHD tendencies or mild ADHD never diagnosed!

Night one, I was feeling good. All we had was soccer for one kid and I was just making tacos. No homework at all except for a couple forms to sign and some band practice. Easy peasy. But we still got behind, I felt myself getting really tense, and ended up snapping at people. I thought one kid was showering but he hadn't gotten in b/c his big sister was in there for AGES. My 6th grader was a total space cadet (she's just fried from school) and didn't seem to be able to follow through on anything I asked her to do. Backpacks were all over and I was repeatedly reminding people to plug in Chromebooks and pack snacks, b/c I didn't know who heard me the first time. 

So last night I 
--made a daily schedule for tonight with what needs to happen when, who needs to shower at what point, etc.
--I also made a daily checklist for kids to review to make sure everything is done. (i.e. put away backpacks in right place, put water bottles in bin, put away lunch, plug in Chromebook, etc)
--I'm trying hard to be better about meal planning and using crock pot, etc, b/c evenings starting next week are going to be CRAZY several times each week with multiple conflicting activities
--I'm getting a folder to corral all the papers I don't know what to do with but need to keep for now, like activity schedules/contact sheet, "meet the teacher" basic info, etc. 
--I'm thinking of even packing some things in advance on Sundays, like cross country snacks/tshirts for the whole week.

What do you do?? Any tips? Favorite easy crock pot meals that are not the chicken tacos everyone makes, or plain roast beef?

[ssmjlm]

I would put the 10th and 8th grader in charge of at least 1 meal each, each week. That would cover 2 meals for you. I'm working on this with my 6th grader now.

I liked to double up recipes to freeze vs a crock pot.

Naptime kitchens' chicken enchiladas are a hit for us: naptimekitchen.com/creamy-chicken-enchiladas-to-freeze-some-or-feed-a-crowd/
I halve her recipe, don't do the peppers, and it's at least 2 pans for us. It's pretty forgiving based on what your family likes for filling.

I also like a tortellini bake that I split into 2 8x8s since there's just 3 of us: www.instrupix.com/easy-cheesy-baked-tortellini-casserole-with-meat-sauce/

[waverly]

I think it is really difficult to manage 4 kids, sports practics, and dinner all on your own. I did it for a while when DH was traveling for work. When he stopped traveling, he expected me to cook dinner and drive the kids to the practices, and he quickly learned that if he wants certain kinds of foods then he needs to do the cooking because I am not prioritizing his needs when I am also driving. Anyway, sorry for the tangent.

We typically do very similar food week to week. It is a rut, but makes it easier to determine.

For example, Monday- enchilada shells
Tuesday- ?
Wednesday- Tacos
Thursday-Pasta
Friday- Pizza

Example schedule:
4:30 arrive home from work, check in with DS on homework (about 15-20 minutes), check in with DD on homework (about 5 minutes). Both kids complete homework mostly by the time get home from work.

6:00 leave for practice, 7:15 pick up from practice DD, other driver takes DS, 9pm DH picks up DS.

DH, DS or DD help with meals if I am driving. I do dishes sometimes. This is our Tues/ Thurs schedule. Luckily, Mon, Wed, and Fridays are free except for random stuff or tutoring is Mondays, but she comes to the house. Tutoring helps a lot with DS because he is very disorganized etc.

The kids are 100% responsible for their soccer stuff.  After many years of looking for socks etc., I refuse to do it anymore.  Shower times vary.  DD will sometimes pack her lunch the night before. 

My son with EF delays was also a space cadet in 6th grade.  I posted about it on here lol.  But anyway, he has gotten much better although he still leaves all the cabinets in my kitchen open.  But I used to have to follow him around wherever he went because he would disappear to his room and then just not do the thing that I had just asked him to do.  Change your shirt would mean he went in his room read his book and didn't come back out. 

[dcn]

I think the checklists and pushing the responsibility to them will help! At first you can do a review before bed to make sure they’ve got it all done but can phase that out as everyone adjusts.

Easy meals for the crockpot -

Pulled pork - can do bbq or a Greek flavoring. Could also do this with chicken
Mississippi pot roast

Not crockpot, but this is quick and easy to make too and my kids will even eat it as leftovers

www.realmomnutrition.com/sausage-spinach-pasta/

[meanie]

Our best nights begin with us doing the organizational/homework stuff first and pushing any free time to the latter part of the night. As soon as they get home backpacks are emptied, lunch stuff is in the dishwasher, and homework is out. 

As far as the paperwork I don't keep much, most of it is added to my Google calendar and I take a picture - then throw it away. I loooove throwing papers away, it's the best.

After kids are in bed I have about 30 minutes of prep for the next morning that I do - making lunches and getting their uniforms ready. I probably do too much for them but mornings are crazy and we need as much done ahead of time as possible.

[egishere]

I have three kids in three different activities and its rough- especially in the fall with football and soccer seasons! Are there any car pools you can join or start? That is our saving grace since I am in the office three days and week and DH really can't help with drop offs, he can only do pickups.

I also routinely text the kids before I get home to remind them to do whatever chore, start dinner etc. I do crockpot meals sometimes but we just aren't crazy about any except soups. I really need to make some freezer meals! We do Hello Fresh sometimes too and my kids can usually start cooking those until I get home to take over.

[abs]

Meals are truly the hardest. I haven’t found anything that works consistently. Prepping on the weekends makes it easiest and cooking during the day and then heating up for dinner also works. Alas it’s hard to keep to that schedule. It’s really the only way though. DD gets home at 4:30/5 from school and even with one kid it’s just a race to get it all done.

[kitty]

Honestly, the only thing I make in the crockpot regularly is beef stew. I feel like most recipes have an obvious "crockpot" flavor and don't get a lot of traction in my household. The only thing that works for us is to cook ahead and reheat. It does drive what I make since it has to work as leftovers but it takes so much pressure off. My goal is usually to cook 3 meals on Sunday. We get takeout Sunday night as the "reward" for all of the cooking. The meals are then reheated Mon-Wed and DH and I also take the food for lunch. Thursday we do an easy freezer/pantry meal and Friday I always make homemade pizza. I'm excited that fall is around the corner because I like to add at least one soup/stew into each week's rotation and they usually keep and heat up very well compared to the foods I like during warmer weather. During the winter, we will often go away for the weekend so the kids can ski and that really messes me up. I try to plan ahead and make double batches of things like chili, lentil soup, and enchiladas on winter weekend we are in town so I can freeze some for the weekends we are away.

As far as the other stuff goes, I feel like your two oldest (if they are neurotypical) are pretty much at ages of sink or swim on their own with things like charging chromebooks or packing lunches/snacks/water. If they don't do it, it is on them and they will experience the natural consequences. If my 8th grader wants a packed lunch, it is up to her to pack it. I will pay for school lunch so she won't go hungry. Even my 5th grader has the same rule but I might still metaphorically hold his hand a bit more through the process now, with the plan of weaning that by the end of this year.

If my 8th grader is having trouble remembering to do something, my first step is not to take over the remembering for her but to ask her "what do you think you could do to help yourself remember?" so she is the one making herself a checklist, or writing out a post it note, or setting a reminder on her phone. Teach a man to fish and all that.

Sometimes, it takes way longer this way than me doing everything and things don't get done exactly the way I would like but encouraging independence is a win and I just breathe through the frustration lol.

The shower lines are the worst lol. Especially now that my 8th grader wants to shave her legs in slow motion every night in the shower...

[sunshineandpinot]

This really only works if you're home during the day, but when my kids get home, they're of course starving. If it works with my schedule (the stars have to align; I'm home that day AND my carpool is bringing them home) I like to have dinner ready when they walk in the door. Yes it's weird to eat at 4:30 but it is SO NICE to have dinner out of the way. They're hungry so they will usually eat whatever I put in front of them. I figure they're going to have a snack, so why not just have a whole meal. It makes our evenings so much smoother and more relaxing for me. Then if they go to practice or whatever, they can have a snack when they get home.
This only works is dh is out of town. Dinner at 4:30/5 does not fly with him lol.

[countthestars]

We like this honey garlic chicken in the crock pot - www.wellplated.com/slow-cooker-honey-garlic-chicken/

[countthestars]

I do also feed my kids at 4:30 and then a hearty snack after evening activities (sports, dance, etc). DD is a very picky eater and has only a few things she'll eat, but DS typically eats the leftovers from the previous night. I sit with them while they eat so it's like a "family dinner" but then H and I eat later or during their second dinner.

[zarapipe]

It’s just chaos. I have no advice. I have a 9th, 4th, and kinder student.

The 9th is almost fully self sufficient. Her stuff is everywhere and shoes and backpack isn’t where I would like it but during the week I give up and clean up for the weekend on Friday. She is a very responsible student and I don’t ask her or hound her about homework. She is in early college and has a lot but she handles it on her own but that’s just her personality.

The other two need hand held though. The 4th grader has adhd and she needs a lot of reminders.

Weekday Dinners are crazy easy. Spaghetti, tacos, pizza, meat on the grill, leftovers.

We only have one night of sports and that helps a ton but we are gone from 5-9pm so we eat at 4:30 and head out.

[redpenmama]

Evenings are tough, especially when you throw activities in the mix. I have three kids who are all in sports, so we have evening practices Monday through Thursday. Carpools help a lot if you can find one.

We tend to knock out homework (which in 8th, 5th, and 2nd grades is typically very little) right after school so they can focus on dinner, shower, and bed after practice.

As for dinners, I WFH, so I'm able to prep dinners in the afternoons, which helps a lot. For example, I'll make taco meat or chili and keep it warm in the crockpot so we can eat after practice. I also double meals and batch cook often for busy nights. I'll get a big tray of ground beef at Costco and make a ton of meatballs and pasta sauce and freeze them. Meatballs we can use for spaghetti and meatballs, meatball subs, Swedish meatballs, and sweet-and-sour meatballs. I'll also double casseroles and freeze one for a busy night. I keep a running list of easy make-ahead meals (see the taco and chili mentioned above) and schedule those for our busiest evenings.

[minniemouse]

Evenings are so hectic. Often we cannot all eat dinner together because of sports schedules so everyone is kind of on their own - sandwiches, leftovers, frozen pizza, whatever we have on hand. The kids and I do not really care for most crockpot meals so that makes tougher. One of my kids is a picky eater an ends up with grilled cheese a lot. This year I’m going to try to plan better, although not quite sure what that will look like. It might be grilling a bunch of chicken on Sunday that we can add to salad, wraps, etc during the week.

[wanderingback]

Do you have a partner/husband that can do meals? What you wrote above doesn’t sound sustainable. I only have 1 toddler, but don’t get home until 6ish and I don’t/can’t cook. That is my partner’s job. Even if he is going to be gone for a few days he makes dinner ahead of time and leaves it for us.

Your kids are older so they should be able to keep things somewhat tidy like putting their backpacks away, but some of those things you just have to let go. My partner is much more organized than me and is good about organizing as he goes. But when I’m in the middle of getting stuff together I don’t pick up as I go. I told him he is just going to have to get over it. So sometimes you do just have to let some things go. Then, if on the weekends you all have more time that everyone spends an hour cleaning up or whatever, that can also be another solution.

[nicolewi]

Sept 4, 2024 11:07:20 GMT -5 meanie said:

As far as the paperwork I don't keep much, most of it is added to my Google calendar and I take a picture - then throw it away. I loooove throwing papers away, it's the best.

This is a great idea! I don't know why I didn't think about taking pictures. 

[nicolewi]

Sept 4, 2024 14:37:04 GMT -5 sunshineandpinot said:

This really only works if you're home during the day, but when my kids get home, they're of course starving. If it works with my schedule (the stars have to align; I'm home that day AND my carpool is bringing them home) I like to have dinner ready when they walk in the door. Yes it's weird to eat at 4:30 but it is SO NICE to have dinner out of the way. They're hungry so they will usually eat whatever I put in front of them. I figure they're going to have a snack, so why not just have a whole meal. It makes our evenings so much smoother and more relaxing for me. Then if they go to practice or whatever, they can have a snack when they get home.
This only works is dh is out of town. Dinner at 4:30/5 does not fly with him lol.

STUCK IN BOX: yes, I am thinking of doing this! We often ate late last year but this year early would work better. Good to know you like it. I think I might like this and also it's our only option this year for 2 of the nights. 

[shauni27]

do you have a coparent that can help more? Further, the kids are old enough to do more. They should be packing their own lunches, all four of them.

I think your lists and such will be very helpful, too, but it might take a week or so before they are consistently used.

For me, I still make my kid's lunch because he is just 7 and would pack pirate booty and fruit snacks only, but I do it all on Sunday. I portion out all the snacks into reusable baggies. I cut up and portion out fruit and carrots. I make adn freeze the sandwiches for the week, etc. Then each day we get home around 5:15. He empties backpack, hands me lunchbox to refill from the stuff I had prepped. He fills his water bottle. Then that is done and ready for the next morning, all in 5 minutes. I immediately start cooking, I only plan meals that will take less than 25 minutes for the work/school week. S plays with H while I cook and shower, they help set the table and clear it after supper. Then it is usually a frantic rush to get kiddo in the tub and teeth brushed and into bed all by 7:30.

But I only have 1 kid and I now have a coparent that is home in the evenings to help with this stuff, so it makes a big difference! I imagine with 4 children it would be nothing short of pure chaos.

[icedcoffee]

Sept 5, 2024 8:32:05 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Do you have a partner/husband that can do meals? 

This.  Does he have to be gone every evening or can he change that?  We only have 2 kids and there's no way I could do all their activities alone with no help.  They'd have to quit them.  One of us is usually driving a kid (or both) while the other gets meals prepared, organizes shit and packs lunches.

Can he be present and log back onto work after dinner?

You can meal plan till the cows come home, but you literally can't do 2 things at once.

One thing I implemented this year is the kids need to unpack their bags themselves.  That helps a bit, but it's really having 2 adults around that helps the most.

[cricketwife]

This won’t solve all your problems but quick plug for sheet pan dinners for quick and easy dinners. We also don’t like most crockpot meals, though chili, and this recipe cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1019693-slow-cooker-chipotle-honey-chicken-tacos are the exceptions. But sheet pan meals are almost easier in that you don’t need to be home 4 hours ahead of dinner time or whenever to turn the crockpot on.