I know I’m probably wrong but I’m still annoyed

[flygirl]

Deleted details

[Patsy Baloney]

That’s ass on his part; absolute money-grubbing ass.

I’m sorry. I hope you get the jewelry and not for an arm and a leg.

[lust2hart]

Your uncle's being a jerk. IMO, he should just GIVE you the ring if your siblings aren't interested in it, or at the very least, have you pay what they've been appraised at.

[TR]

Your uncle is an asshole. I’m sorry

[lavenderblue]

Death really brings out the worst in people, I'm so sorry. I would be hurt as well.

Anecdote: My Great Uncle passed away several years ago and he was an avid car collector. I wanted to buy a car from his estate, and while his one son was totally amenable and came up with a reasonable price, the other son would not agree to the price and his price was way more than I could afford at that time. Brother #2 ended up stealing all of them money from the estate sale of the cars, so he's an ass on several levels.

[waverly]

I'm curious the amount. I was given my Grandma's jewelry and out of the options to choose from I chose her sister's wedding set. There was a pretty old attached appraisal, so I knew approximately the amount. I don't know why they couldn't have given it to you. That was my mom and she was pretty cool throughout the whole thing.

My uncle recently passed away though, and my aunt and sister got in a fight and apparently are not speaking again because my sister had birth certificates and pictures passed down through my dad from his mom. So I get the whole death brings out the worst in people especially if those people were the actual worst to start out with.

I already know just from my FIL being ill, that when FIL and/ or MIL pass my SIL will be utterly insane. Just when FIL was ill, she had a huge fit for no reason and blamed my H when he obviously had nothing to do with FIL's illness.  

[deadwing]

Weddings and funerals bring out the worst in people. I hope you're able to get the ring you care about. I might suggest getting the ring appraised - maybe even by more than one jeweler and offering to pay the average price of the appraisals. Appraisal for sale, not insurance appraisal.

[flygirl]

Update: I talked to my dad and he said my sisters were upset that he wanted to charge so much as well and in his opinion we should have just split them between us. But I’ll pay my uncle and my dad said he’d send a check if I’d share the diamonds as intended.

The only defense I will say my uncle has is that he knows that my sisters and I don’t get along so he probably did it this way to make it “fair” but we all likely would have agreed to what my grandma told us.

[flygirl]

lavenderblue, holy crap!

[gerberdaisy]

I'm sorry and hope it gets worked out. When my grandparents died it was awful. So many people thinking they were owed something. As there were many aunts and uncles, I never had an expectation of receiving anything but was luckily able to have a few mementos that were worthless but meant a lot of me.

[wanderingback]

Wait, what do you think you were wrong about??

Unless we’re talking about something worth hundreds of thousands of dollars why would you have to pay for it?

[flygirl]

wanderingback , because I don’t know if it makes me the money grabber (even though I don’t intend to sell them) because I don’t want to pay for them or him because it’s just wacko to not give your parents jewelry to your nieces unless you get a few hundred bucks.

[shauni27]

these stories are always shocking to me. When my grandparents passed, even when my dad passed, it was so uncomplicated for us. I am really sorry that this has happened to you and that your uncle is being an ass.

[starburst604]

I'm annoyed on your behalf. He should just give it to you!

[Leeham Rimes]

Death and money from the deceased always brings out the worst. My mother’s side of the family is fighting over my uncles stuff which is dragging things out for years. My mother has taken the money that my sister and I were supposed to get from my dad and my grandmother and —did whatever with it. Not sure what. It’s crazy what happens to people during this time.

When my grandma died, I know my aunt (the executor) had to get her jewelry appraised (but I don’t know why but I assume to make sure there was an equitable distribution) but as far as I know, as long as everyone agreed on whether to sell or take, nobody had to pay. It was only when let’s say 3 out of the 4 wanted it one way and the other wanted it a different way that the agreement was “ok, pay the appraised value and that cash is distributed to the group”.

[livinitup]

Absolute AH move. It happens. Sadly.

I had a friend who was happy that her bid won when her uncle put all of her grandmother’s stuff up for auction. This was a farming family, nothing special but the uncle hooked-up with a cheap on-line outfit and gave all of the nieces and nephews the link to bid for what they wanted online. She had to bid against the public, too.

She won a bench from her grandmother’s kitchen.

[lust2hart]

Sept 11, 2024 13:36:15 GMT -5 flygirl said:

Update: I talked to my dad and he said my sisters were upset that he wanted to charge so much as well and in his opinion we should have just split them between us. But I’ll pay my uncle and my dad said he’d send a check if I’d share the diamonds as intended.

The only defense I will say my uncle has is that he knows that my sisters and I don’t get along so he probably did it this way to make it “fair” but we all likely would have agreed to what my grandma told us.

I'm confused. Your sisters didn't want the jewelry, right? So why were THEY upset that your uncle wants you to pay $XXXX? And your dad will only send you a check if you split the diamonds with your sisters, who don't want them?? 

[flygirl]

lust2hart , they apparently wanted them but didn’t want to pay for them. Apparently my dad had made this deal with them as well but they weren’t willing to put up any money.

[hermione]

Wow. This makes me sad. When my grandmother died, my mom and aunts laid all of her "good" jewelry out and told everyone to pick what they wanted. I encouraged my oldest cousin to go first but she was insistent we go youngest to oldest. I am the youngest cousin and was closest to my grandma and everyone else thought this method was best too. I can't imagine selling someone's jewelry to her family.