SN check-in - back to school...

[erbear]

DD1 (ADHD) is having a bit of a rough start to the year (10th grade). Her outlet (soccer) is not going that well and that's wrecked her mood pretty consistently. Her English teacher is really not following her FEP and is completely non-communicative with me. I WORK IN THE SAME HALLWAY AT THE SCHOOL. I just don't think she feels like she is good at any of her classes (not true...but that's how she feels) and not having fun at soccer is making it all harder.

She's not been taking her ADHD meds because she doesn't like how they make her feel and I don't know how hard to push. I need to talk to her pedi but I haven't had time.

Also, the learning specialist at school inadvertently sent out the accommodations list...to the whole high school student body instead of the teachers. I have questions.

[SusanBAnthony]

We've only been in school 2 weeks.

So far so good??? DS is in 11th. Hes successfully driven to school without crashing the car in a parking lot full of other teenage drivers.

Classes seem to be going well???

All question marks because his mode of operation is to say everything is fine, and then with a week to go before the end of a quarter or semester, we find out he is 100 assignments behind and has F's in all his classes because he didnt turn any assignments in.

He has been reliably taking his meds because we've been reliably reminding him, which helps.

[mommyatty]

SusanBAnthony, does the school have an electronic system where you can check to see what has been turned in and what’s missing? My kids’ schools both have it though (true confession) I’ve never checked either one. Probably should start now that I think about it!

[SusanBAnthony]

Sept 13, 2024 21:46:26 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

SusanBAnthony, does the school have an electronic system where you can check to see what has been turned in and what’s missing? My kids’ schools both have it though (true confession) I’ve never checked either one. Probably should start now that I think about it!

Yes, but depending on the teacher, it may not be up to date. So DS always says "oh thats a zero but i turned it in and the teacher justvhasnt graded it" or things along that line.

[macmars45]

Autistic ADHD DS(8) just finished week three. So far so good. I'm 95% sure he's not bringing his incomplete math work home to finish as he's supposed to most nights but he's fried by the end of school and I'm not sure how hard I want to push him on it. He already did 7 hours of learning and sensory overload. I feel like that's enough.

[mommyatty]

macmars45- DS has an accommodation that says he’s only required to work to mastery and not to completion. Could you get that for math worksheets? Or maybe the teachers are already doing that?

[macmars45]

Sept 14, 2024 11:03:27 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

macmars45 - DS has an accommodation that says he’s only required to work to mastery and not to completion. Could you get that for math worksheets? Or maybe the teachers are already doing that?

I think we're headed there before the school year is over because the amount of homework increases exponentially in 4th & 5th grade which I'm not a fan of.

[imimahoney]

My 9 year old just received a GAD w/an emphasis on social anxiety and pragmatic communication disorder diagnosis.

She did not qualify for an iep in the spring when we did academic testing and her 504 is mostly toothless.

We are hoping to get her school to provide pragmatic speech therapy as it will likely be more effective than outside of school. Hopefully they don't say no.

[ohgillian]

A success.

DD (11), ADHD and maybe autism, has long been annoyed by so many little noises. Constant complaints about kids in class making noises; I think she's irritated by things like pen clicking, constant tapping, repetitive anything -- just normal noises that are part of life. The pedi suggested we try an SSRI. H was NOT on board (even though he and I have both taken SSRIs) so we kicked it down the road a year, but finally started after various events with DD. And....new school year is off to a smashing start. No noise complaints yet at all. This has been a huge problem for her and by extension for us. She's on 25mg Zoloft; started on 12.5 mg.

I'm partly posting this b/c things with DS aren't going well so I'm reminding myself that it's not all a mess, lol.

[grover]

Hi, jumping in.
DD (7) was diagnosed in May with ADHD on top of anxiety. Started her on meds in August because she ended the year with the third trimester not great impulsivity wise at home or school. School seems to be off to a good start, and she's thrilled dance has started back up for the year- she's doing a solo this year on top of the other dances. But claims now she won't do another dance "Til senior year bc it's more boring alone than a duo or trio with friends" LOL

My twin boys (5) just started Kinder a month ago and were diagnosed this week. DS2 was diagnosed with Anxiety (expected) and ADHD hyperactive (unexpected- he's my calmest of the three). DS1 was diagnosed with ADHD combined (expected- I'm a sped teacher and I self diagnosed him by age 2), and Autism Level 1. DS2 has gotten one teacher comment home that he's needing redirections to stay on task, and DS1 has had 2 head injuries and 2 comments home- one from principal that he had a meltdown in bus line claiming another student bit his finger, and then yesterday he had a 30 minute in class meltdown when he tripped in the hallway after lunch. Now that we've had a few days to process the diagnosis, we've officially requested to reopen domains for DS1's Speech only IEP.

[katfco]

DD is in school, which is 100% better than she was this time last year. Se's still exhausted most of the day, and is considering dropping one of her classes, but her teachers are wonderful. If she manages to complete all her required classes this year, she'll only be 1 credit away from graduating. She's absolutely loving her anatomy class, which is one of the hardest classes in the building. She's got med school as a goal, and can't wait to do dissections.

I will admit, I get tired of being her sounding board. She often just wants to complain, which I understand, but it's hard feeling like you're living with Debbie Downer.

DS is doing okay. He's doing well in his classes, but he still hates school and gets frustrated with just the existence of other kids. His therapy is going well. I still can't get him to even agree to a 504 because he doesn't want to stand out. It doesn't help that all 3 of his friends also have (or likely need) 504s. But at least he has 3 very good friends.

[katfco]

macmars45, can you ask for reduced workload? It's pretty common with 504s and IEPs.

imimahoney, what makes it toothless? Some of us with experience in schools might be able to give suggestions.

[katfco]

mommyatty, and mala, DD struggles with limited appetite due to meds, POTS and IBS. Her healthy weight specialist recommended increased protein (or protein powder) to help her hunger cues regulate.


mae0111, DD had a very rough set of years, including 3 in-patient stays. She was an angel for others, but at home, sometimes it felt like an emotional warzone. She was particularly mean to her brother. One thing I learned was that kids with emotional difficulties are more likely to act out at home because it's their safe place.

The book "Untangled" was incredibly helpful. DD even read it on her own and it gave her some insight as to her behavior.

[imimahoney]

Sept 22, 2024 18:15:37 GMT -5 katfco said:

imimahoney, what makes it toothless? Some of us with experience in schools might be able to give suggestions.

504s in general are not monitored in a way that an iep is. There is no growth tracking, no required progress checks, etc. Not to mention her accommodations do nothing to help w/her social anxiety or pragmatic speech delays.

[katfco]

Sept 22, 2024 18:30:16 GMT -5 imimahoney said:

Sept 22, 2024 18:15:37 GMT -5 katfco said:

imimahoney , what makes it toothless? Some of us with experience in schools might be able to give suggestions.

504s in general are not monitored in a way that an iep is. There is no growth tracking, no required progress checks, etc. Not to mention her accommodations do nothing to help w/her social anxiety or pragmatic speech delays.

I know monitoring isn't common with 504s, but you can request a review to add social anxiety and speech supports. 

[mommyatty]

imimahoney, I think with the new diagnoses, I would ask them to reconsider, retest or ask for an IEE. DS struggles with pragmatic language because of autism and there is simply no way that doesn’t affect a child’s ability to access education. And speech therapy is a “related service” that warrants an IEP.

[underwaterrhymes]

Our older child has anxiety and Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder and we pulled him out of public school this year due to bullying that was causing severe daily anxiety. (He had a 504 plan last year and we met with the social worker, principal, and teachers regularly, but the bullying and daily sobbing continued. We kept him home so many days because his mental health was suffering.)

We’ve enrolled him in an online private school this year and it’s been transformative. It’s project based and he’s in a student cohort with kids that live all over the world and many are neurodivergent.

Our younger child started experiencing some of the same anxiety this year for different reasons, and a week into the school year, we enrolled him too.

The school is super cool and the way they tailor learning and engage the kids is really remarkable. We are super privileged and lucky to be able to do this and that’s not lost on me.

[imimahoney]

Sept 22, 2024 18:43:08 GMT -5 katfco said:

Sept 22, 2024 18:30:16 GMT -5 imimahoney said:

504s in general are not monitored in a way that an iep is. There is no growth tracking, no required progress checks, etc. Not to mention her accommodations do nothing to help w/her social anxiety or pragmatic speech delays.

I know monitoring isn't common with 504s, but you can request a review to add social anxiety and speech supports. 

Yeah, we have her meeting next week. I will def be pushing for speech and actual time with a counselor... not just as needed as it is written now.

We'll see how it goes.

[imimahoney]

Sept 22, 2024 18:53:01 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

imimahoney, I think with the new diagnoses, I would ask them to reconsider, retest or ask for an IEE. DS struggles with pragmatic language because of autism and there is simply no way that doesn’t affect a child’s ability to access education. And speech therapy is a “related service” that warrants an IEP.

They were resistant to an IEP last yr because her academic testing and growth did not warrant one... which I agree with.

As long as she gets speech, I will be happy.

[keyslover]

Sept 21, 2024 21:48:59 GMT -5 ohgillian said:

A success.

DD (11), ADHD and maybe autism, has long been annoyed by so many little noises. Constant complaints about kids in class making noises; I think she's irritated by things like pen clicking, constant tapping, repetitive anything -- just normal noises that are part of life. The pedi suggested we try an SSRI. H was NOT on board (even though he and I have both taken SSRIs) so we kicked it down the road a year, but finally started after various events with DD. And....new school year is off to a smashing start. No noise complaints yet at all. This has been a huge problem for her and by extension for us. She's on 25mg Zoloft; started on 12.5 mg.

I'm partly posting this b/c things with DS aren't going well so I'm reminding myself that it's not all a mess, lol.

DD (13) has ADHD and I am wondering ASD or OCD (maybe both!)  Are you speculating or did you test?  Sometimes I don't think it matters because we just deal with it anyway and I am so tired of diagnoses and other times I know it is nice to know what I am working with (or against!) 

DD didn't like the ADHD meds and how they made her feel, we saw some improvement, but not enough to push her to stay on them.  But she is behind and no real sense of urgency to catch up.  She will start connecting with the school counselor to help with planning her homework and week ahead.    But now she is 13 I don't know what is teenage behavior or ADHD/OCD/ASD!

Which DD (16) is Autistic and OCD, which is why I worry about the younger one.  She started meds a month ago and it is helping with the OCD!  She is overall happier and I am digging it!

[awkwardpenguin]

Sept 23, 2024 6:34:51 GMT -5 imimahoney said:

Sept 22, 2024 18:53:01 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

imimahoney , I think with the new diagnoses, I would ask them to reconsider, retest or ask for an IEE. DS struggles with pragmatic language because of autism and there is simply no way that doesn’t affect a child’s ability to access education. And speech therapy is a “related service” that warrants an IEP.

They were resistant to an IEP last yr because her academic testing and growth did not warrant one... which I agree with.

As long as she gets speech, I will be happy.

When things were going well with DS behaviorally he was able to get a "speech only" IEP.  The school suggested MTSS speech intervention, and that wasn't enough so we had the school SLP on board with the speech IEP.  I know schools are different about this, but I would push as hard as you have to.

[awkwardpenguin]

I've posted in here once about my kids but it just feels like kid whack a mole. DD is 9 and has ADHD, autism, and DMDD (new diagnosis) and DS is 7 and has ADHD, autism, and speech delays.

We had a huge incident on Monday with DD. She didn't go to school and therefore lost her screen privileges. Long story short she got very upset when I turned off a snuck screen remotely and attacked me physically then attacked my wife physically. We knew we needed additional behavioral help but couldn't safely transport her so a 911 call, police crisis intervention team officer visit, and the fire department plus ambulance transport later she ended up at the ER for an evaluation and admitted inpatient to the peds psych unit.

She seems to be doing okay on the unit but me and my wife (her especially) are kind of wrecks about it. It's hard to be away from her, and it's hard to deal with the fact that things have escalated to this point. The unit psychiatrist diagnosed disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, which honestly fits pretty well. They are changing her meds a bit but she'll be home before they reach full effect. She'll step down to an IOP when she is done that meets after school. I have hope that this helps move us in the right direction but it is just so hard.

DS is doing better this year with an IEP in place, but two days ago the teacher said we needed to meet about behavioral concerns and assignment completion concerns so it's obviously not all fixed. Things feel more hopeful with him, but I also feel like we need to be more proactive than we have been. I'm lucky to not work outside the home but I still feel stretched thin and unsure how to help my kids.

[mae0111]

awkwardpenguin, I'm so sorry for all that you and your wife are going through. You're both good parents to get her the help that she needs. Hugs to you all.

[penguingrrl]

awkwardpenguin sending hugs and good wishes! That’s a lot at once, and I feel you on the “whack a mole” feeling.

[penguingrrl]

As a follow up with my son, school has been in session for just under 3 weeks and we’ve already had to meet w8th his CST twice, the second being related to full on school refusal on Monday. I finally think the older one’s school refusal is mostly under control, with us basically doing a therapy session every morning to coax her out the door, and now the younger one is starting. I’m hoping we can convince the school to move him a lot more quickly because it’s obvious that our public school isn’t a fit and DDs therapeutic school would be a perfect fit.

[mommyatty]

Ugggghhhhh… DS just decided to run for student council, as a class rep. He’s still new to the school, and he’s socially awkward and literally knows one kid’s name. And he’s going to be crushed when he loses. Shit. And the year was going so well.

[campermom]

We are making our way out of this spring/summer crisis. IOP was worth it, we have a great fit with treatment team AND school team. Lots of appointments but worth it. That was really scary and I never want to go through that again.

[macmars45]

In DS' 8 years of life he'd never been to the fair... until today as a school field trip (no rides). I think if there's a next time I will drive there instead of carpool with other parents and request beforehand that we leave if/when it becomes too much for him. It was sensory overload with noise and smell even with his noise canceling headphones. He did not have fun at all. Poor guy.

[arehopsveggies]

In today’s episode of I guess I need to argue with my coworkers…

The social worker gave my son a new fidget, which his teacher promptly took away because he shouldn’t have anything in his hands.

Excuse me teacher, but the whole point of the fidget is so he can sit and pay attention.

We’ve already had two iep meetings in a month, maybe we need a third.

I also had to go past principal to the higher up admin about my other kid’s IEP

People don’t like me this year

[macmars45]

(hugs) arehopsveggies.That is so extra hard when they are your coworkers. I'm so sorry they aren't supporting your kids.
My DS' teachers are my coworkers as well. It's a hard balancing act to be professional in other settings when you have these negative other things going on on the parent side.

My DS' classroom teacher last year took away his fidget items as well. I told his resource room teacher and she said, "I believe that". It was a rough school year and he had supportive resource room teacher, SLP and counselor on his side.

His teacher this year is amazing and I'm so appreciative of her.