Do you have short/medium term goals?

[sent]

Short term: survive and get things under control to calm the chaos in my life

Medium term: lose weight, get healthy physically and mentally so I can get off all the meds I seem to have acquired in the last decades.

Long term: live a very, very long & healthy life because one of my insurance policies is tied to how long I live which would greatly benefit my kids and their financial futures

[aspentosh]

Re: your updated reply

A friend of mine did 40 by 40 and it really struck a nerve with me. I turned 40 in June and felt like I'd just been floating and existing, not paying attention to who I am as a PERSON. So I took on a modified version and am trying 40 new things this year. It's been a great way to rediscover myself, find new passions, and remember that I am a woman first and foremost. Some are simple like a charcuterie board making class or axe throwing, but also bucket list things like swimming with sea turtles and going to concerts for people/bands I love. It's been a nice change of pace for me and has given me a new passion for travel and doing things (which is huge since I'm very introverted).

[bittybomb]

Right now, I want to see my children safely through middle and high school and then college.

My husband and I have started talking more about where we would like to retire to as we seriously started to consider for the first time ever leaving the place where we have both grown up and loved so much decided to raise our family here.  So I would love to have that list narrowed down by the time our youngest (7th grader) is a high school sophomore so we can make plans to GTFO once he graduates high school.

[arielroux]

I’m quitting my job and going back to school, so I guess my two goals are:

Short term: actually make it to 10/1 before resigning. This is a challenge right now!

Longer term: complete and graduate from my master’s program.

[waverly]

I'll give examples

Fun- Goal of attending a book club, workshop, festival, concert
Relationship- Date nights, we tend to grab a quick drink and that has been working but maybe want to do more now that the kids are older
Friends- I set a LOT of boundaries the last 2-3 years because I had 3 friend issues. Most of these were personal issues on their part that resulted in poor behavior such as ghosting, breadcrombing, and manipulation. The ghost I explicitely told them they were just an acquaintence now. The breadcromber, we have dropped down to only seeing each other once a year since she has no energy for more than that, and the manipulator is kind of the hardest one, but just continuing to keep at arms length and continuing to set those boundaries.  I would think it was me, but the first two went through the pandemic plus significant life changes, so objectively I know it isn't me.  Even seeing the breadcrumber person, you can see how she is still struggling with her life and will be for a long time.  
Family- Dealing with the aging process of my dad, uncle and mom and ILs
Self- Went to therapy for anxiety, and made a lot of progress there. Work with a personal trainer.  Joined a volunteer organization.  
Kids- I have goals for them too, like DS still has his tutor to prepare for high school etc. 

[sadie]

I've been trying to make a conscious effort to plan little trips with my family each year. We have more flexibility financially, so we're trying to more memorable things.

I got more involved with the community by serving on our library board.

I have a 3 year goal to finish my EdD and accept a promotion to assistant Dean at work.

I'm trying to carve more time out to play board games with my family.

We're doing some house updates.

I think I have a lot I hope to do, but generally don't write/track personal goals.

[rosiebear]

This is a good question!

Within one year I hope to improve specified health metrics. Get asked to do at least 2 feature spots (headlining is out of the question and not really something I aspire to).

Within five years I hope to finish work on and pay off our home. Retire. Take one more big trip.

Within 10 years I hope to take 2-3 more big trips.

Within 10-20 I expect to sell my home and buy a condo, possibly in another state.

[sadlebred]

Immediate: Find a job, so I can pay the bills.

Next year (if I have a job): do 1 international trip. Probably to France or Italy.

I have no other ideas.

[sonrisa]

I have spent so much of my life thinking in terms of goals and lists and running around for a future me. something just snapped after the covid lockdown year and broke that for me. I can’t do it anymore. We just moved and I didn’t make a single check list. Every time I started one it was like i self sabotaged and lost it or just didn’t add enough to be useful.

I can only deal with what is right in front of me.

[doctoranda]

I am also a goal driven person. However, I also had a time in the last few years where I felt like wow not much is happening and I am coasting, not working towards anything. It felt nice! In my job as an academic I am always working to the next grant, the next article etc. I always have a goal. Now with the financial problems my institution has I am also trying to find a different job. I intend to run for City Council in 2026. I am super involved in local environmental groups and engaged in politics and this gives me a lot of purpose. I am on the board of directors of a homeless shelter and I want to bring in some $$$ there.

We bought a house 17 months ago and we always have a repair or improvement that we want to tackle. Right now we are redoing our entire back yard ourselves. It seems to never end. We might be through the list in 5 years?

I have a couple of personal goals too. I am an adult child of alcoholics and have been in a 12 step program for a bit. One of my goals is to integrate some of the traits and also get triggered less. Also, I want to do more fun things with my husband. I have been duolingo-ing for years and I want to be more comfortable speaking Spanish (I understand it quite well).

Long term goal is retire in Sicily and run a small distillery there.

[litskispeciality]

sonrisa, I feel heard. I won't quote you in case you want to delete later, but yes I think that's what I wanted to say. I thought maybe it was going in to my 40's and finding my stride, but maybe it was COVID lockdown and 2 years+ of sh!t getting messed up. Either way immediate real time life is a little easier when I'm not adding unnecessary pressure on myself to hit goals. For example I had really hefty goals before I turned 30. Turns out I hit a lot of them and they worked in my favor, but then it felt like I had to set new lofty goals before 35 or 40, and life just didn't allow for that. Also still don't understand why 30 and then 40 were these magic numbers growing up where if you didn't do ::all this:: you shouldn't even bother. Honestly I able to better adult in my 30's, and now 40's.

I think there's a lot of pressure put on women specifically, which we may then add to ourselves. If we work we have to keep promoting, making a lot of money etc. to be "successful." If you work and you don't have kids you damn well better promote really high and make a lot of money "to justify not having kids" (this isn't true, at all.) That pressure really hurts if you don't promote because your job holds you back, you don't want to or you just can't etc. I really wish we could just live life day to day and it not be "coasting". I truly don't mean that as a jab at OP, I just feel like I'm in that spot right now, but I don't have anything left for goals other than maybe doing more to save retirement money.

The check-list thing is such a double edged sword. I've tried paper lists or notebooks. Notes on my phone so I can delete when I'm done. I now set 800 alarms for reminders, but often move them later or to another day. It's almost more annoying or defeating. Puts more stress to do more in a day than I have the bandwidth to do. I'm trying counseling again next week and hope to talk through what strategies will work with my style.

Sorry for the rant. All of this to say if you're dressed, fed and/or keeping up with the minimum for you and your family every day you're kicking a$$.