Do you have short/medium term goals?

[ohgillian]

About whatever? What are they?

I’m in a stage of life where I’m feeling so blah and I’ve been reflecting recently that I don’t have any short or medium term goals. I have long-term goals — like my children become normal adults, that I retire at x age, places I want to live in retirement. But the next 10 years are just sort of stretching out like… No goals in there other than travelling maybe once a year?

[ssmjlm]

I've named 2025 the year of the house. I want to take care of all the little things that have just piled up. I have a list in my phone and hope to knock them out.

I'm also trying to be more mindful about smaller trips. The big ones are fun, but trying to find some places w/in a drive we can do for a long weekend as school/activities allow.

TBH - I fear we are entering the parental health decline for my IL's. I think the next 5 years will be pretty telling based on their current health and refusing to address it.

[momin2013]

Umm…paying off my car?

Lol, I guess that’s about it. I just have the one major long term goal of retirement. Other than that, taking 1-2 trips a year, but that’s been a constant goal my whole life rather than a future one.

[Jalapeñomel]

AT this point, I'm taking it one day at a time, and trying to enjoy that.

[simpsongal]

I feel like I've been working towards goals my whole life and I finally sort of "made it." So the next years are gravy - just enjoy life, spend time w/friends and family, stay healthy and fit, be present. I did buy some new piano music w/the idea of learning pieces I always wanted to play. I haven't really dove in, but maybe eventually. And I picked up a classic book and read a third of it - meh. We did a ton of big renos, including 3 additions. So I'm still decorating and tweaking.

Not to be a downer, but the good times don't last. I remember thinking my family life was so static and permanent as a kid, and one day I realized most of my family had aged and passed away.

[glw]

No, but I've never been a goal-setter kind of person. I take it as it comes.

[UMaineTeach]

I do not set goals. It makes me uncomfortable to say I’m going to do something, even just to myself. (Which is the opposite of everything my job is. They pay me to write goals for other people that it’s my responsibility to get them to meet)

I am putting off setting my mandatory professional goal for the year.

[minzy]

Survival. Getting through this tough stage of life, with my dad’s terminal cancer and all it has entailed, and then the upcoming aftermath thereof, as smoothly as possible. I know the only way out is through and I think I am handling it as well as I can, but this has been a pretty challenging time. I would like to coast for awhile after this quite frankly.

[followyourarrow]

I'm very goal driven. I set goals at the beginning of the year and write them down. I just finished a book (With Winning in Mind, it's probably not going to be most people's thing) and now I want to revisit goals for the rest of the year. Goals for me include paying off some debt, reading X books, walking X amount of days, finishing my MBA, etc.

[gummybear]

I've never been much of a goal person. H on the other hand has spent his entire life working towards goals (mostly professional and financial). For all intents and purposes we've met his goals and I have to be honest, it's been REALLY hard on him - like midlife crisis hard. He's kind of unmoored and really working hard on getting through it. Because of this we've become focused on intangible goals. We have A LOT going on right now. Aging parents, getting the older one into college, the younger one into high school, career transitions and a lot of stress....we're mainly focused on staying healthy and appreciating each day and hopefully in the near future enjoying what we've been working towards for our entire life without worrying about the next thing. I've accused DH of "moving the goalposts" several times over the course of our relationship so I think the main goal is to accept - these are the goalposts - you've done it, now relax. Nothing is guaranteed so enjoy it while you still can.

[TR]

Sept 24, 2024 7:52:41 GMT -5 UMaineTeach said:

I do not set goals. It makes me uncomfortable to say I’m going to do something, even just to myself.

lol same. I don’t like being told what to do, even by myself.

[eddy]

I used to HATE this question when I was interviewing for a job. "Where do you see yourself in 5 years." Ummm, hopefully employed lol.

I am very good at short term goals. Like for workouts I like to think of a theme for the month I can work on. This month is kettlebell workouts. I think of house projects and other stuff to work on.

Medium goals, I normally have some things I want to do like in the next year. Especially house projects.

Long term, absolutely not lol. I just can't force myself to waste the time. How will I know where I am at in 3 years? Or what I even want to be doing. 

[cjcouple]

Yes, I have financial and fitness goals, getting Christmas shopping done early. lol

[Susie]

I just met a 2024 goal this morning.  Last year I ran 500.30 miles from 1/1 to 12/31, and I set a goal of 600 for 2024.  That is more than I've ever run in a year before.  As of finishing my 5 miler this morning I am at 603.82 miles in 2024.  I knew I'd hit it early with marathon training, and now I need to come up with a revised EOY number to shoot for.  

My marathon in October is another big goal, that I've had for a long time.  Hopefully I hit that one too (finishing!).

I am really goal driven, and running gives me lots of big and small goals to fill in.  Professionally I'm feeling very blah in this period of years.  I'm a shareholder in my small firm, but am making no progress on increasing my shares because the founders won't commit to a retirement timeline and we're deadlocked on a number of issues.  I have no idea how it's going to go, I can't really leave (because I have shares on the table and a non-compete), and I can't make them make progress.  So I keep my head down, my clients happy, and I find my happiness elsewhere.  

[Deleted]

At the moment, I’m trying to prepare for retirement from the military and transitioning to a civilian job, in the next year. I’m also learning to play the guitar (unrelated to the first goal, I do not have a future career as a musician).

No real medium term goals

Honestly I feel like our society is so focused on goals that we sometimes forget it’s okay to sit in the present, feeling proud of the work we did to get where we are, and just enjoy the current state of our lives.

[wildrice]

I don't generally have much in the way of true goals, but I do try to think of a few things to try to get done in the coming year most years. Usually this is something like a home repair or minor financial goal, so probably not the inspiring kind of things you might be thinking of!

I do try to be a continuous learner, which I think keeps me from getting too bored. For example, I'm doing Duolingo to learn Spanish and one ambiguous goal that I have is to eventually take some real classes and/or conversation partner and become fluent. I am also learning to crochet and have taken up gardening in the last few years so there is always more to learn there. I also do set a reading goal each year, mostly to ensure that I remember to pick up a book instead of scrolling (which I do plenty of anyway).

I'm also trying to get a little more involved in community things, so I'm now in a book club at the local book store, I'm going to be an election judge, I may join the HOA board, etc. So anyway, none of those are big life goals but they are all things I'm trying to be intentional about doing to keep myself from feeling stagnant.

[leahcar]

This is actually something I'm working through in therapy. Something my therapist encourages- setting any sort of daily goals can help re-train your brain on how to do this. They can be as mundane as daily Duolingo or your sink always being empty. Those small things are what can get the ball going.

I have long term goals. Some of them have been met and some won't happen until later in life.

I've been caregiver for so many people for so long that it's almost like I forgot how to set the short and medium term things. (Ironically- this is also a huge part of my professional life and I handle it well there)

Making more connections in my community
Embracing my spirituality
Regular exercise/body movement that I don't dread
These are the three things I'm working on right now. For me- medium term being a little more of a theme instead of a hard # helps.

[circa1978]

Survival.

Seriously, it's hard to make career goals when you are at risk of layoffs in middle age, which is suddenly a thing for me in what was a very secure job. My son is 13 and I'm worried about the teen years. My ILs are 84 and my mom is 72 and my H is 55. I feel like I'm surrounded by a future of caretaking. I want to move to a smaller house but with a pool, which would give me great joy, but not in this economy. I can't stop thinking about the election.

I guess I'd like to tone up after losing a significant amount of weight and pursue a bilateral mastectomy due to breast cancer risk? Nothing fun.

[abs]

Honestly I’m trying to just enjoy life right now. Life has sped up quickly and frankly I just want to enjoy these next 4.5 years of DD still being home. There have been some major health challenges come up for me and aging parents sucks but it’s part of life and can be handled. I get so caught up in what’s next that it’s hard to enjoy the moment. I’m working on that and it’s made me a lot happier.

[joy]

My husband has wanted to renovate our house since we moved in six years ago. It felt like the biggest, hardest, most expensive idea ever. We’d have to upend our lives, move out, pay so much money, etc. We couldn’t even unload the dishwasher in a timely fashion, but he wanted us to move out? Stop it.

He finally talked me into it and I feel …alive. For the first time in a long time, I have energy that seemed to have been sucked away previously by the interia of sitting still and complacency.

We decluttered the house. 40 boxes (40!) went to a local donation center and much more went to a bigger donation company. We took stock of what we wanted from our house vs. what we were holding onto for reasons unknown. We’re updating our daughter’s room to true kid’s room. We moved to a rental house that is forcing us to downsize even more.

In the rental, with less stuff holding us down, our brains feel more free to tackle other ideas. I’m doing regular Pilates and stretching. We’re meeting new neighbors around the rental. I have a new desk set up that prioritizes my personal computer so I can work through some things on there like picture organizing and writing.

I was so so SO against this but now I see it was because I was being weighed down by just being. We all need short term and midterm goals to keep us going, I realize. Sometimes, shaking things up is the absolute best thing you can do.

We are looking forward to the move back to our “new” house in six months. But, in the mean time, we’re going to do the big four holidays in a new place with slightly different traditions. Novel! I like it!!

[tacokick]

Staying alive.

Really my “goal” is to try to enjoy general daily life as much as possible.

We both try to learn new things and keep up with hobbies. My husband is taking jazz/blues piano lessons and we both do fiber arts. Classes don’t take up much time and sort of force us to keep building skills and stay involved.

I also try to make an effort to go to local events and day trips vs focusing just on big trips.

I also don’t like being told what to do or feeling the pressure of a schedule so traditional goal setting has never really worked for me. I’m pretty self motivated without it.

[Poppy]

I am trying to develop and launch a science enrichment program.

We are tackling some house, yard, and decluttering projects. (This one is more begrudging on my part.)

We're working on improving our diets and our kids' health/palates. Moving away from meat and toward plants.

And finally, trying to pack this time with experiences - our kids are at prime ages for that (9 & 6). Exploring our region, cultural experiences, and trying out a variety of hobbies/sports/activities.

[wanderlustmom]

I do like to set goals but I try to keep them realistic and attainable. When I first started tennis four years ago, I had goals of the levels I wanted to move to and I set the goal of how many times I'd play each week. That works well because now I know that playing 3-4 times a week is good for my health and lets me progress. If I had set a goal of how often to win, that would have worked against me. And now I don't worry about my tennis rating anymore. I just want to play to have fun and for fitness and to be competitive on the teams I'm on.

I also pay for a yoga membership so I know I need to go three times a week to make the financial commitment worth it. Now my body craves it after all these years so going three times a week is NBD. But I still need kind of need that goal for the weeks I'm not as motivated.

I try to see 10-15 clients a week for my small business so if it's a bit slower I market and network a little more.

I like to read a certain number of books a year but I keep it fairly low so it doesn't feel like pressure.

And since I am a type A goal setter, I always have really worked on intentionally not having plans and not going to do as much. Slowing down is actually healthier for me than overall goal setting ironically. So I try to take cues from my mom and husband who were and are much better at living in the now.

[RoxMonster]

I’m not much of a goal setter. Perhaps I have some goals around places I want to visit. And I do have a to-do list of house projects we’re working on. Otherwise just trying to enjoy the day-to-day.

[litskispeciality]

I'm so deep in caregiver burnout that right now survival and clearing my never ending to-do list for the week is a giant hurdle. I've never been much of a longer term goal setter and that's better for my mental health. A lot of the time things happen to de-rail the goal which bums me out, and/or I just give up too easily.

I'm not a big fan of having to set goals at work even if it's good for me. Honestly most employers seem to do this more of a "we have too" or "every other employer does this", and never hold to check-ins throughout the year and help you reach those goals. So many times it's been ok to not hit goal, which I like...but like could we have just skipped if it wasn't *that* important.

For immediate short term goals I'm trying to read at least 10 pages a day, although I'd love to read 30+. Drink a lot more water and be more intentional and consistent with things like vitamins and medicine. I'd like to make more money, stay with the same company to build up PTO, and maybe promote in the future, but it doesn't have to be this year.

I have a long list of places I'd like to travel to, but again family stuff, COVID, changing jobs etc. pretty much just put that in the "before I retire" folder. I'm doing everything I can to save 80 hours of PTO next year with hopes of taking 2 week long vacation trips, but I can't get my hopes up until we're much closer to mid-late 2025. At least for now we've done 3 long weekend trips with 1 more scheduled before the end of the year. Love to keep those up next year, maybe visit new places within so many hours of driving distance.

[dexteroni]

I’m in kind of an odd situation because we moved to my hometown to help care for my mom, which we will be doing for as long as she lives. After that, I’d like to move back to a bigger city, but I don’t know where or when that will be. And because it hinges upon my mom dying, it’s not something I like to try to quantify or look forward to because it makes me feel bad. It’s a weird limbo.

One thing I do want to work on is getting out more purely for enjoyment. It’s so easy to fall into robot mode where I’m doing tasks and errands for us and for my mom, and that’s my entire day for weeks on end. But when I take a couple hours to go brunch or even for a walk with DH or my BFF, it perks up the rest of my week.

We reached a couple financial goals recently, now that I’m thinking about it, and I have made good progress in my never ending health and fitness journeys. I should look ahead and see what more I can do on those fronts.

You know, I think I needed this post to make me think ahead a little. We’re in a holding pattern with my mom and it’s easy to let the rest of your life idle too. And I know I tend to let the election and political climate paralyze me with worry / dread. But that shouldn’t stop me from living life. Thank you for posting this ohgillian!

[ohgillian]

Thank you for all of the replies so far. Maybe I don’t mean goals, maybe I just mean I feel like I’m floating thru life with no purpose?

[meanie]

Sort of? I have a never-ending list of house projects...


Nothing really with an end date, just general goals to eat healthier, get in shape, etc. 

We are saving up for a really big house repair (water line needs to be dug up and totally replaced), does that count? lol being an adult is so fun.

[wanderlustmom]

Sept 24, 2024 10:26:23 GMT -5 ohgillian said:

Thank you for all of the replies so far. Maybe I don’t mean goals, maybe I just mean I feel like I’m floating thru life with no purpose?

I think I know what you mean.  You want to be intentional about how you live your life.  I think the 40s have been like that for me--no more big goals and that's okay. I can't think of anything big or crazy I want do in the next decade either and I'm about to turn 50. I'm not sure how old you are but my husband and I are at a place where it's just rinse and repeat now.  My kids will have big things happen to them and I hope to be present to enjoy that with them and give them support through their tough times. 

I talk a lot about this with my DH and I mostly think I don't want to lean into my career any more or buy a second place. He also just retired so he's definitely not leaning into his career. I also would be happy to make more friends but I feel content with the friends I have.  I think I want to travel and just relax. I think even when our dog dies I don't want to get another one. Just so busy from raising kids and helping aging parents.  But then when I get in this space like yesterday when my family was gone and I didn't have to work--I had no idea what to do. I did just relax but it felt weird.  I think my identity is shifting, is yours?  I keep wanting space to just be and when I get it I don't know how NOT to take care of someone. I'm also in therapy and I talk with her about this too. All of my life I've been caretaking since I had pretty dysfunctional parents so I have no idea what to do when I'm not caretaking. 

[krystee]

I would love to write a book, but seeing as I’ve taken zero steps toward that goal, it is more of a pipe dream.

Most of my goals relate to making certain trips happen that I really want to take.