Anxiety

[trytobearunner34]

Tonight during our monthly family my daughter (7) said she had a “big reveal”. The essence of the big reveal is that she gets overwhelmed regularly by sounds and thoughts at home (my house and her dad’s apartment) and at school and wants help finding space for quiet and rest. There is family history of anxiety and she has demonstrated signs of anxiety for years mostly exhibited through what we refer to as big feelings. She began play therapy in April, but I am wondering if there is something more that we should be doing. For those of you with children diagnosed with anxiety, what steps did you take that you found to be most helpful in helping your child feel regulated in their daily life?

[devonpow]

DS2 (now almost 13) showed signs of anxiety from a very young age - in preK definitely. Lots of issues with “big feelings”, separation anxiety, social anxiety (particularly with adults),etc. He started talk/play therapy at 7 and is still with the same therapist. He also did group/social skills therapy to help how he dealt with big emotions in a group. Honestly the biggest thing that helped was medication. We got him a full neuropsych evaluation after he had been in therapy a few years. With the official diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder, plus the fact he had been in therapy a few years and still needed a lot of help, medication was suggested. Within a few weeks there were dramatic and noticeable improvements. He was like a different kid.

Also Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. He did it for some specific major fears (needles etc) and it was incredible for him.

[tiki]

Since she mentioned sounds being a trigger of her anxiety, could those earplugs that reduce (but don't fully block) sounds help?

ETA: my daughter did talk therapy (via zoom) when she was almost 6, and I do think it was useful. The therapist read the book Ruby's Worry with her, and they practiced different methods to calm racing feelings. To be honest though I think the most valuable part was just having a non-parent authority figure listen and take her feelings seriously. 

[bbdoll]

My daughter gets overwhelmed and anxious too. She pretty much constantly has an earbud in with music playing. Normally it's classical, relaxing music, but it really could be anything. It helps ground her.

[Poppy]

Let me just start by saying I don't meet your criteria to reply since my kids (6&9) are not diagnosed with anxiety. But, they definitely both display symptoms of anxiety and I am medicated for anxiety. We have considered a bunch of paths - therapy, talking to their Pedi about meds, etc. We don't feel like either kid quite rises to the bar of needing meds but I would definitely consider it if things progress.

We are reading the book Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents as part of a district-led book club. I would recommend it - it's helped us identify some ways in which we thought we were helping relieve anxiety but we actually are probably helping it take root (short term fixes like comforting the child, helping them anticipate and prepare for scary things - these can actually worsen the problem longer term).

But, specific to your daughter, I would be curious what the issues being addressed in play therapy are and whether they're anxiety related. It's a little surprising to me that a 7yo would articulate those thoughts in that manner, so if possible, I'd want to talk to the therapist and make sure I understand what's coming from therapy. I'd want the adult perspective and any tools they can provide.

But yes, I agree with PP that I also would consider some kind of noise reduction headphones, especially for school. That's a common accommodation.

[beerlover]

I don't have any particular advice on this topic, but wanted to share that I've been listening to the podcast "Flusterclux" with Lynn Lyons, who is a psychotherapist and anxiety expert, and she has a LOT of episodes on anxiety in kids, so maybe some resources for you to check out there.

[scm1011]

Oct 6, 2024 21:28:07 GMT -5 devonpow said:

DS2 (now almost 13) showed signs of anxiety from a very young age - in preK definitely. Lots of issues with “big feelings”, separation anxiety, social anxiety (particularly with adults),etc. He started talk/play therapy at 7 and is still with the same therapist. He also did group/social skills therapy to help how he dealt with big emotions in a group. Honestly the biggest thing that helped was medication. We got him a full neuropsych evaluation after he had been in therapy a few years. With the official diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder, plus the fact he had been in therapy a few years and still needed a lot of help, medication was suggested. Within a few weeks there were dramatic and noticeable improvements. He was like a different kid.

Pretty much this word for word. My DD start Prozac within days of her 5th birthday and within weeks she was a different kid (in a good way). She does monthly zoom therapy and also a social skills group 2x a week at school that helps with coping skills and confidence building. The meds were the biggest help though, no question.  

[trytobearunner34]

First of all many thanks for all of the responses and support! To address some specifics:

Headphones with soft, instrumental music playing is a great suggestion! We have her quarter one parent teacher conference on Wednesday so will see if incorporating her headphones into the day may be feasible. Will also offer that as a tool here at the house and will encourage her dad to do the same at his place.

Medication may be a tricky area as the parent with anxiety is unwilling to consider medication as a viable option, so it will be interesting to see how it unfolds in the event it becomes the next, right choice for our daughter (we share 50/50 custody). Will certainly cross that bridge should it become evident that is what she needs.

Poppy Your input was very helpful-I appreciate you sharing. Thank you for the book recc! I am currently on the waitlist for it at the library.

We discussed anxiety as a possible area of concern during her intake, but not the primary need at the time. The primary concerns were helping her cope with her many big feelings that were potentially being amplified by her father and I separating in January. It may be time to circle back and make sure this conversation is on her radar for moving forward.

Her therapist sends an overview of what skills they have incorporated into each session: identifying emotions, recognizing and verbalizing feelings, social skills and frustration tolerance, flexible thinking skills, building confidence, and self nurturing skills, feeling mad, emotional vocabulary and noticing emotions in others body language, the connection between thoughts, feelings and actions and perspective taking.

I work in an elementary school, so I agree this conversation is not the norm for most second graders; however, between these sessions and the work we have done at home over the years related to emotions (plus her verbal skills are her strength) so it tracked for her:).

Thanks again to all for your help!