Post by blondemoment123 on Oct 15, 2024 9:17:45 GMT -5
I'm socially awkward and don't know how to make friends lol
There's a mom with a little boy on DS's soccer team who I clicked with (I think?)
She seems to share the same parenting style as I do and can relate to a lot of things she's shared. DS hasn't interacted much with her son, but is friendly and welcoming (her son has Autism).
I want to invite him to her DS's birthday party. Do I just come out and ask for her number at the next game? What if she doesn't like me? I feel like an insecure teenager all over again.
"I'd like to invite your son to DS' birthday party. Can I get your phone number?" Or offer her your contact info. I do this often and so very much appreciate it when others do the same. Not awkward at all.
As a parent of autistic child, I can relate. And, I love this for you and your DS. My DS is also 6 and we're starting to see more of the peer/social challenges appear. And exclusion a bit when he's more rigid than other kids like. H and I damn near tear up when others offer us their contact info and/or initiate play dates.
I'm sure she'd LOVE to be your friend! If you are worried about it being awkward if you ask for her number, maybe just bring an invitation with your phone # on it and tell her to text you if she can make it?
At the next game mention that your DS is having a birthday party and you'd love it if she and her DS could join.
As a parent of an autistic DS myself, don't take it personally if she declines. My DS doesn't like parties. They are loud & overstimulating. If she says no to the party, invite her and her DS for a play date if your DS is willing & interested in that.
ETA: I agree with previous posters, it's warms my mama heart when others reach out to me. DS struggles socially with his peers so other parents rarely reach out to me especially now that he's 8.
Whenever I meet a mom/kid that we click with, I usually just say "We should do a playdate sometime! Can I get your phone number?" and people are usually very happy to exchange. I find it easiest to ask for their number and then send them a text so they get mine. I include my name and my kid's name in the text so they have the spelling and then they usually text the same info back so I can easily add them to my phone (Sandra, Taylor's mom). It felt awkward for me to ask at first when the kids were little, but now it is easier.
Your case is even easier since you have the bday party as the perfect follow up. Good luck making a new friend!
Post by wanderingback on Oct 15, 2024 9:43:23 GMT -5
"Hey, my son is having a birthday and we’d love to invite you all. Can I get your number so I can text you the invite?"
ETA: are you looking to be friends with her or your son to have another friend? To me that makes a difference. I have mom friends that we met through our kids but I formed personal relationships with them and hang out with them without the kids. We just started texting each other and keep in touch a few times a week/as needed.
At the next game mention that your DS is having a birthday party and you'd love it if she and her DS could join.
As a parent of an autistic DS myself, don't take it personally if she declines. My DS doesn't like parties. They are loud & overstimulating. If she says no to the party, invite her and her DS for a play date if your DS is willing & interested in that.
ETA: I agree with previous posters, it's warms my mama heart when others reach out to me. DS struggles socially with his peers so other parents rarely reach out to me especially now that he's 8.
I think this is a really good point - maybe ask first if he likes parties, and if he doesn't then you can just invite them for a play date.
I am not a parent but I don't think I've ever been anything but happy when someone asks me if I want to get together! I always feel shy and awkward asking people to hang out, too, but odds are it will be well received.
I’m sure she will be happy to have your number, and grateful that you wanted her son to attend your son’s party.
Don’t take it personally if the party doesn’t work for a number of reasons, or you’re not able to get together right away. I’d guess there’s a 99% chance that life is crazy & it’s hard to carve out time for one more thing and a <1% chance that it’s because she doesn’t like you.
I am usually the initiator and the planner with new friends. (And current ones). Everyone feels awkward all the time. What I hear most consistently, when I do make a friend and we share how rare it is to find new friends, is how much they appreciated that I made the effort. So, if you have a nagging little voice saying “maybe she doesn’t like me” squash it. People like you.
People are also busy and scattered. Make a rule to ask twice (on different occasions or on 2 different days if texting). I don’t usually try harder than 2 times but I do try twice. Folks who say yes the second time almost always apologize for missing the first attempt and appreciate the second.
If it makes you feel any better, I think we all feel the same way. If they can't make the party still get her number for a playdate. Know that she is probably just as nervous and awkward feeling as you are, I've even told other moms "hey, this feels weird but I really like chatting with you - we should get the kids together so we can hang out!" accompanied by lots of cringy laughing.
Post by soccermama on Oct 15, 2024 10:29:04 GMT -5
I think the pp all have great suggestions! I would either hand her the invitation and/or you could ask for her number to text her about the party? I have done it both ways for parties.
I also love it when a fellow parent invites our family to events!
this is one of my skills, lol. I love making new friends and I am good at it. Absolutely tell her you would like to have her and her son join for the party, and ask if you can have their number to text the invite. Then say "even if the party does not work for you guys, I would love to plan a get together sometime in the coming weeks if that works better for you?"
As people have said above, ask for her info so you can invite the child to thd birthday party. And then after that party is over, reach out with a simpler invitation - meet up at a park or whatever.
If they say no to the party don’t read much into it and make the park type invite anyway. it could be a scheduling conflict or her son might not do well with new kids and the noise and sensory stuff of a birthday.
If she says no to both, then the Baal is on her court.
"Hey, my son is having a birthday and we’d love to invite you all. Can I get your number so I can text you the invite?"
ETA: are you looking to be friends with her or your son to have another friend? To me that makes a difference. I have mom friends that we met through our kids but I formed personal relationships with them and hang out with them without the kids. We just started texting each other and keep in touch a few times a week/as needed.
this is one of my skills, lol. I love making new friends and I am good at it. Absolutely tell her you would like to have her and her son join for the party, and ask if you can have their number to text the invite. Then say "even if the party does not work for you guys, I would love to plan a get together sometime in the coming weeks if that works better for you?"