@@ Parents of HS Seniors/College Apps Check-ins

[Bad Dingo]

How's everyone holding up?  I'm feeling so overwhelmed with the whole college application process and also just the unknowns.  I don't like not knowing where DD will be a year from now.  DD is applying to 3 colleges early action (not early decision), apps are due 11/1. She has an extensive list of other possibilities but needs to narrow it down.  I started the CSS and created a FAFSA account (which crashed a few times before going through...not a good sign).

DD is doing really well mentally, last year was rough but she said that even though she's still taking a lot of hard classes, she's handling the stress better.  

She's our only so I keep thinking things like - this is the last time that we'll do x 😭.  DH and I have started talking about getting a dog next year so we have something to take care of (our cats don't count).

[1confused1]

I’m so mentally exhausted by all of this.

We’re approaching college a little differently as my son has the goal to play baseball. He really wants to play at the D1 level, but the recruiting landscape for the class of 2025 just had the table flipped, so to speak.

We visited two D3 schools last week, one I really liked but he is still leaning towards staying home and going to a JUCO.

It is ultimately his decision so I will support him in whatever he chooses.

He is going to apply to those schools so we can see what kind of financial aid he can get.

[orval]

My ds finished his apps the first week of August then just had to wait for transcript and recs to be sent by the school. He had his recommendations done before the summer. He has been accepted to three and waiting on three - won't hear until January for those.
He has a specific major only accredited at 16 schools so that narrowed it down. He has received $ from two and invited to apply for a scholarship at one. The others won't likely give any money. His top choice is one of the January options. So now we wait. And write the scholarship essay.

[penguingrrl]

My kid is just about finished with all their applications. First two are early action, so they’re due 11/1, the rest are due on Dec or Jan but they’re submitting everything this week to get it off their plate before a 3-4 week hospitalization starting next week. They’re applying to 9 schools total. One teacher has uploaded their recommendation, the other said it will be up this week. They still have to record their music portfolio, which a bunch of their schools said to include regardless of major (which I absolutely love!) and they want to provide.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Oct 15, 2024 14:10:21 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I’m so mentally exhausted by all of this.

We’re approaching college a little differently as my son has the goal to play baseball. He really wants to play at the D1 level, but the recruiting landscape for the class of 2025 just had the table flipped, so to speak.

We visited two D3 schools last week, one I really liked but he is still leaning towards staying home and going to a JUCO.

It is ultimately his decision so I will support him in whatever he chooses.

He is going to apply to those schools so we can see what kind of financial aid he can get.

He has options either way thanks to the transfer portal for college sports. He can do D3 and see if he can transfer to D1 or go the JC route and transfer to a D1 program. 

GL to him! 

[1confused1]

Oct 15, 2024 15:15:37 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Oct 15, 2024 14:10:21 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I’m so mentally exhausted by all of this.

We’re approaching college a little differently as my son has the goal to play baseball. He really wants to play at the D1 level, but the recruiting landscape for the class of 2025 just had the table flipped, so to speak.

We visited two D3 schools last week, one I really liked but he is still leaning towards staying home and going to a JUCO.

It is ultimately his decision so I will support him in whatever he chooses.

He is going to apply to those schools so we can see what kind of financial aid he can get.

He has options either way thanks to the transfer portal for college sports. He can do D3 and see if he can transfer to D1 or go the JC route and transfer to a D1 program. 

GL to him! 

For sure! Which is something we are totally keeping in mind.

With the roster size shrinking, even more kids will be entering the portal. I am worried that he will go to a JUCO and there won’t be a place for him in 2 years so I would prefer him go to a four year where he has a spot just in case he can’t enter the portal.

[devonpow]

DS1 just submitted his first application yesterday 🤞🤞 He’s applying to 12 total and is almost done with all of them - he’s submitting everything by November 1. I’m stressed out and trying to keep it from him. It just seems so hard to get in anywhere - he goes to a really competitive school and all these kids I know with straight As and literal perfect SAT scores and riduculous extracurriculars aren’t getting in. And my kid is a strong student with good extracurriculars etc but he’s not at that elite level. And if those kids aren’t getting in it’s tough to see how he will. But I just breath into a paper bag quietly on my own lol

[penguingrrl]

Oct 15, 2024 15:34:41 GMT -5 devonpow said:

DS1 just submitted his first application yesterday 🤞🤞 He’s applying to 12 total and is almost done with all of them - he’s submitting everything by November 1. I’m stressed out and trying to keep it from him. It just seems so hard to get in anywhere - he goes to a really competitive school and all these kids I know with straight As and literal perfect SAT scores and riduculous extracurriculars aren’t getting in. And my kid is a strong student with good extracurriculars etc but he’s not at that elite level. And if those kids aren’t getting in it’s tough to see how he will. But I just breath into a paper bag quietly on my own lol

As long as he applied to a variety of schools the right one will accept him! At least, that’s what I keep telling myself when I have the same panic lol!

[devonpow]

Oct 15, 2024 16:11:20 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Oct 15, 2024 15:34:41 GMT -5 devonpow said:

DS1 just submitted his first application yesterday 🤞🤞 He’s applying to 12 total and is almost done with all of them - he’s submitting everything by November 1. I’m stressed out and trying to keep it from him. It just seems so hard to get in anywhere - he goes to a really competitive school and all these kids I know with straight As and literal perfect SAT scores and riduculous extracurriculars aren’t getting in. And my kid is a strong student with good extracurriculars etc but he’s not at that elite level. And if those kids aren’t getting in it’s tough to see how he will. But I just breath into a paper bag quietly on my own lol

As long as he applied to a variety of schools the right one will accept him! At least, that’s what I keep telling myself when I have the same panic lol!

he did. I just really want him to get into one of his top 3-5. He’s such a smart and good kid who I know can feel inadequate next to all these kids he’s friends with who have done Russian Math 3 times a week since they were in kindergarten and spend their free time building bionic arms for fun lol. I want him to know how awesome he is and the schools to recognize that. I’m going to go breathe into a paper bag again lol

[penguingrrl]

Oct 15, 2024 16:13:45 GMT -5 devonpow said:

Oct 15, 2024 16:11:20 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

As long as he applied to a variety of schools the right one will accept him! At least, that’s what I keep telling myself when I have the same panic lol!

he did. I just really want him to get into one of his top 3-5. He’s such a smart and good kid who I know can feel inadequate next to all these kids he’s friends with who have done Russian Math 3 times a week since they were in kindergarten and spend their free time building bionic arms for fun lol. I want him to know how awesome he is and the schools to recognize that. I’m going to go breathe into a paper bag again lol

I get it, totally! I’m thankful that my kids true top choice is a good fit instead of one of their reach schools, it makes it easier to be calm lol! Still no guarantee they’ll get in there or get enough aid but at least their absolute favorite isn’t their two reach schools, both have which have like 7% acceptance rates.

[formerlyak]

I was you all last year. It’s really stressful and draining, especially if your kid is applying to competitive schools. For us, that’s like half our public schools because we live in California and the UCs are all competitive.

Then you get unexpected decisions and think you are screwed for the rest you are waiting on. Like DS was waitlisted by UC Davis, which based on stats we thought he had the best chance of getting into. So when that one came first he was a bit defeated. An hour later he got an offer from UC Irvine and a few weeks later was accepted to Berkeley, where he is currently living his best life.

All this to say it does work out. Fund a good friend who is going through it to vent with so your kid doesn’t see your stress. They are stressed enough. And help them embrace every acceptance they get. It makes the rejections sting a little less.

You got this!!

[scm1011]

Oct 15, 2024 15:21:08 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Oct 15, 2024 15:15:37 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

He has options either way thanks to the transfer portal for college sports. He can do D3 and see if he can transfer to D1 or go the JC route and transfer to a D1 program. 

GL to him! 

For sure! Which is something we are totally keeping in mind.

With the roster size shrinking, even more kids will be entering the portal. I am worried that he will go to a JUCO and there won’t be a place for him in 2 years so I would prefer him go to a four year where he has a spot just in case he can’t enter the portal.

The NCAA roster size shake-up is a nightmare. My niece, who verbally committed to play D1 soccer on eligibility day sophomore year, had the rug ripped from under her a few weeks ago. She landed somewhere else great, but the scholarship money is gone so she went from full ride + NIL money to nothing for her first year. Its really thrown my sister's family for a loop.

Good luck to your son! I hope he finds a home

[katfco]

DD decided last week to push through and finish this year, so we’re in turbo mode, as she needs to get one application in November first.

She’s planning on staying in state, so we’re planning college visits and she’s working on her application. The good news is, she’s got some great material for her essay

[magma]

I’m just here to watch and learn, marvel and offer support. (I only have a HS freshman.) I’m fascinated by the entire admissions process and recently read Valedictorians at the Gate and Who Gets in and Why (highly recommend both.) Anyway, what an overwhelming, insane process. Lots of hugs and good thoughts being sent your way. You’ve got this.

[rooster222]

My dd has applied to 5, accepted to 1. she still has a few more that she will apply to before Nov 1. Next week we are on fall break and doing two college visits. I have a feeling her favorite is going to be the expensive out of state option. Coincidentally, DH has a relative that works in the dept she's applying to so I'm hoping he can give us some guidance on making things more affordable. If we can't get it down to in-state tuition cost then we are going to heavily dissuade. It's tough!! She has a great GPA and has worked hard so I hope things work out the way she wants.

[1confused1]

Oct 15, 2024 17:59:29 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Oct 15, 2024 15:21:08 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

For sure! Which is something we are totally keeping in mind.

With the roster size shrinking, even more kids will be entering the portal. I am worried that he will go to a JUCO and there won’t be a place for him in 2 years so I would prefer him go to a four year where he has a spot just in case he can’t enter the portal.

The NCAA roster size shake-up is a nightmare. My niece, who verbally committed to play D1 soccer on eligibility day sophomore year, had the rug ripped from under her a few weeks ago. She landed somewhere else great, but the scholarship money is gone so she went from full ride + NIL money to nothing for her first year. Its really thrown my sister's family for a loop.

Good luck to your son! I hope he finds a home

Thank you! We have friends whose kids were decommitted by the school, it’s devastating for these 16/17 year olds.

[W.T.Faulkner]

Hang in there, guys. October and November feel like the fucking thunderdome in college admissions. Like formerlyak said, be calm, cool, reassuring and collected for your kids and freak out to somebody else, lol. I’m happy to listen as this is my job!

[formerlyak]

Oct 15, 2024 21:11:08 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

Hang in there, guys. October and November feel like the fucking thunderdome in college admissions. Like formerlyak said, be calm, cool, reassuring and collected for your kids and freak out to somebody else, lol. I’m happy to listen as this is my job!

My college roommate has a son the same age. Both our boys had some pretty competitive schools on their lists, and it was nice to have someone to vent with who was in a very similar space. I felt weird venting to my local friends with kids who had already written off the UC school because of their child’s GPA. I didn’t want to seem like I was vent-bragging. But with my college roommate the boys had similar stats. Hers had a slightly higher GPA/SAT and mine had stronger extra curriculars. Mine was waitlisted by Davis and accepted to Irvine. Hers was accepted Davis, waitlisted Irvine. They both got waitlisted at Washington on the same day as out of state STEM applicants, which wasn’t surprising, but it’s the one decision that really upset them both. We were on the phone with each other for a while that night. Then we both went through the “why do you want to go to an expensive out of state school when you got in to some top UC campuses?” We knew it was their journey, and both took them to visit the other schools on Spring Break, but we were so frustrated that they didn’t see the amazing college bargains staring at them in our state. Then it all worked out. I mentioned up thread mine is at Berkeley. Hers it at UCLA.

But literally all the kids I know ended up somewhere great for them even without the crazy stats of my son and my roommate’s son. I have friends whose kids got sweet scholarships for music program at UC Irvine, a friend who is playing in the marching band at Oregon, a friend whose son decided he wants to focus on being a pilot so he enrolled in a local community college and is working on his flight hours. One of DS’ golf teammates wants to play club golf and study sports management - he chose Arizona. A friend whose son had some of the top stats in the class (he’s one of DS’ best friends, that’s how I know the stats) and had a really rough round with the UCs but is happy as a clam at Cal Poly SLO. One of DS’ friends got rejected from every school she applied to until Ivy Day when she was accepted by Cornell.

We were honestly floored when DS got in to Berkeley. He was playing a golf match for school and there was back-up at a hole so he told his foursome he was “going to check the Cal portal and see his rejection and get it over with.” He screamed so loud when he opened it his golf coach said he thought something bad happened. Then he saw DS’ phone screen and also started screaming and the group stopped and did a little celebration on the course.

There truly is a college for everyone. And I share all this because all the kids find the space they belong. And it’s weird and surprising. And next year at this time, your kid will call you and tell you about their shenanigans and you will say, “But what about the school part? Are you going to class or just doing fun things?” And then you will realize it worked. But it will unfortunately suck until a few of the acceptances come in.

Apply to a rolling admissions school. Having that first acceptance is really calming. For DS it was Oregon State. They offered him honors placement and a nice scholarship package. The Cal Poly SLO kid mentioned above got a similar package. That mom and I were pretty happy with that being on the table as we went into March when all the in-state schools send decisions.

[pinkdutchtulips]

formerlyak

My sister has a similar Berkeley acceptance story. She had already been accepted at UW and UCSB and resigned herself to UW as it was late March and Berkeley still hadn't sent anything to her. She was at the Ashland Shakespeare Festival when my mom called her to let her know the 'thick' envelope had arrived from Berkeley. It was also April Fools Day. She wasn't buying it and asked my mom to call Berkeley admissions to confirm. Sure enough, she had been accepted into Berkeley's School of Natural Resources Forestry program.

[killercupcake]

Oct 15, 2024 21:11:08 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

Hang in there, guys. October and November feel like the fucking thunderdome in college admissions. Like formerlyak said, be calm, cool, reassuring and collected for your kids and freak out to somebody else, lol. I’m happy to listen as this is my job!

Same!

And let me give you all a heads up now: the schools your kids are applying to will send out an email saying “WE DONT HAVE YOUR TRANSCRIPTS/LETTERS OF REC/BLOOD SAMPLE! PANIC!” even if it has been submitted. Do not freak out. They are mass emails. And so annoying. Those of us working on the high school side of the desk have been ranting to colleges about this for years. Check your portals instead!

[W.T.Faulkner]

Oct 16, 2024 12:17:13 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

Oct 15, 2024 21:11:08 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

Hang in there, guys. October and November feel like the fucking thunderdome in college admissions. Like formerlyak said, be calm, cool, reassuring and collected for your kids and freak out to somebody else, lol. I’m happy to listen as this is my job!

Same!

And let me give you all a heads up now: the schools your kids are applying to will send out an email saying “WE DONT HAVE YOUR TRANSCRIPTS/LETTERS OF REC/BLOOD SAMPLE! PANIC!” even if it has been submitted. Do not freak out. They are mass emails. And so annoying. Those of us working on the high school side of the desk have been ranting to colleges about this for years. Check your portals instead!

A university around here famously sends an email WITH THE PARENTS COPIED saying "we don't have your transcript!!!!!!" approximately 45 seconds after the student applies. I am going to fight one of them if they dare visit here.

BEFORE YOU TALK SHIT YOU BETTER CHECK YOUR SHIT BECAUSE I SENT IT.

[killercupcake]

Oct 16, 2024 14:03:43 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

Oct 16, 2024 12:17:13 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

Same!

And let me give you all a heads up now: the schools your kids are applying to will send out an email saying “WE DONT HAVE YOUR TRANSCRIPTS/LETTERS OF REC/BLOOD SAMPLE! PANIC!” even if it has been submitted. Do not freak out. They are mass emails. And so annoying. Those of us working on the high school side of the desk have been ranting to colleges about this for years. Check your portals instead!

A university around here famously sends an email WITH THE PARENTS COPIED saying "we don't have your transcript!!!!!!" approximately 45 seconds after the student applies. I am going to fight one of them if they dare visit here.

BEFORE YOU TALK SHIT YOU BETTER CHECK YOUR SHIT BECAUSE I SENT IT.

RIGHT? Just because you didn’t download it, doesn’t mean I DIDNT SEND IT.

[sju]

Slow progress here. I was letting him lead the process and not getting really involved because it’s his college journey but he definitely needs help. He has a great ACT, high GPA, some extracurriculars but the issue of not knowing his major has him stressed to the point of having writer’s block. The universities he is applying to have the undeclared/exploratory option so that is what he will do, and I am crossing fingers his great writing skills kick in soon. Several in-State universities have extended early decision due to the hurricanes which has helped.

[wanderlustmom]

Our youngest is a senior in high school this year and we have a college sophomore. Much easier going through it the second time. Our DD wants to go to our big in state school and most of her IB program gets in--so she's feeling confident. It was harder for our son since he chose a more selective school as his dream school and he first got deferred and then got in! His dream school turned out to be a good fit for him and he's happy. But it was so so hard waiting for all of us.

Both of my kids didn't have us help with the applications and both applied to ten schools. Their high school (public magnet) spends a lot of time helping them. I do feel for my daughter though, I'm sure a lot of you feel it too. Even though she's a senior her classes are really hard and not much easier than last year. So with her activities, jobs and friends--it's a lot to manage. Our DS had the same problem. School is so hard now. My DS was a better test taker too so I feel bad for DD. We hired a tutor for her and it didn't raise her SAT score. I am the same way. I feel like our DS's ACT score opened a lot of doors for him.  

Wish everyone the best, it's a crazy year!

[formerlyak]

pinkdutchtulips that was me including the acceptances to UCSB and Washington, but replace Berkeley with UCLA. I had written it off because I was a theatre major that required an audition and I totally messed up my audition. Like forgot the lines during the required Shakespeare monologue and just made stuff up messed it up. I was up in Seattle touring UDub (and loving it) when the “big envelope” from UCLA arrived. My mom handed it to me when my dad and I got home from Seattle and I remember I just started crying. It all works out.

[mysteriouswife]

:throws hand in the air and walks in circles screaming:

I’m over it. I just want her to do what is required of her. I cannot get the recommendation letters for her. I cannot make a meeting with her counselor.

[penguingrrl]

Oct 17, 2024 8:28:50 GMT -5 mysteriouswife said:

:throws hand in the air and walks in circles screaming:

I’m over it. I just want her to do what is required of her. I cannot get the recommendation letters for her. I cannot make a meeting with her counselor.

If she’s not ready to do this, then maybe she isn’t ready for college yet, and that’s genuinely okay. That’s where I was senior year. I got into one school, Emerson, but my mom couldn’t afford it. She suggested I take a year off, I worked full time as a dental assistant for that year and realized that I didn’t enjoy working in healthcare, thought about what I did enjoy, changed potential majors from theater management to history and got myself to school the next year. It was the best thing I ever did, even despite so many people telling me I’d never go back and what a waste it was. There’s no reason to insist an 18 year old take on the enormity and cost of college if they aren’t ready to get themselves there.

[threejs]

I rarely visit or post here, but popped in today. My DD has completed 13 apps, which I think is more than enough. She has 4 more on her list. It's all SO stressful. She's taking her hardest classes this year and is a theater, choir and NHS kid - all of which are keeping her SO busy and stressed. And what I'm even more worried about (though not mentioning to her) is when her financial aid packages start coming in, what if she does get into her dream school but I can't figure out how to swing it? She applied early action to a couple places and early decision to her dream school.

[W.T.Faulkner]

Oct 17, 2024 8:28:50 GMT -5 mysteriouswife said:

:throws hand in the air and walks in circles screaming:

I’m over it. I just want her to do what is required of her. I cannot get the recommendation letters for her. I cannot make a meeting with her counselor.

This part is so hard for parents. I'm sorry.

Is she about to miss a major deadline? Does she ultimately not want to go, or go now? Is she anxious about the process and avoiding it altogether? Does she normally struggle with things like this?

Every year I have a kid who struggles with these steps -- and it's usually a super high achiever -- and it matters why they're doing it, even if they can't vocalize it themselves.

I would also welcome the opportunity as a counselor to talk with you about this. You can't do her applications or get her letters (but trust me, I have parents every year who do both, and Jesus, what a terrible idea that is), but you can express your concerns to the counselor. 

[cmeon]

DS decided to just stay in state for the $. He has 2 apps done, and he's doing 3 more this week. They are all EA/priority, not rolling, so we won't know until the announcement days (but he has gotten honors apps back from the two schools, so we are taking that as a good sign).

We are still dealing with hurricane stuff, he is in the middle of his extended essay week (an IB thing), and he came home and just crashed yesterday (I woke him up to eat, he showered/brushed teeth, and rolled right back into bed). He is exhausted, we all are, so I get it.

He has amazing stats and a solid resume, so I'm not too worried, he will be happy at any of the schools. But I know he likes a few better than others, and it would be great to have more options.