Wednesday randoms

[Susie]

Our school district and police dept. just jointly announced an arrest in a school bombing threat made yesterday.  The defendant is a 13 year old juvenile who resides in a neighboring city. 

I've lost count exactly, but my best estimate is 11 additional threats made from Sept 10 - Oct 7 against various schools in our district.  The police & FBI are investigating, and have determined that they are non-credible/swatting incidents, but no arrests on those yet.  The defendant in the 10/15 threat is not a suspect in the other threats.

I'm so tired, frustrated, and freaked out by the frequency, the copy-catting, and all of it.  

[noodleoo]

Oct 16, 2024 9:47:09 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

How do 'we' feel about pre-printed photo thank you postcards sent out after a wedding?  Even if there's a hand-written note on it? I felt weird getting one.  On one hand, I was happy to see a pro photo of the couple as I'm not likely to see them for this couple otherwise.  And I'm all for them saving money and paper by sending a post card instead of a thank you note in an envelope.  I think my issue was that the hand-written part was just as generic and non-personalized as the printed thank you statement, it didn't even have our names hand-written.  But then thinking more about it, I can't remember if we personalized our thank yous or just wrote the same thing on every card.  I think I'm ending up in the camp of any thank you is an appropriate thank you.  But now I feel weird throwing out the card since it is a picture, but I'm also not saving it.  

I'm ok with photo postcards (full stamps are so expensive now!), but the non-personalized thank you note would make me wonder why they even bothered. It kind of makes it "about them" instead of about thanking someone for a gift. Just another way to send more pictures of themselves, which has gotten out of hand with weddings lately.

However, the bar is pretty low, so I'd say it is better than nothing.

I agree having to address your own thank you card envelope is awful. It is one thing to take a shortcut by using photocards or address labels, but to pawn the work off on the gift giver is just rude.

On a separate thank you rant, 2 mom friends had 40th birthday parties recently and I brought a small gift to both parties. Neither one has mentioned the gifts AT ALL. Not a text, not in person, no thank you card. I'm honestly kind of wondering if they even got them, although in both cases I gave the gifts to their H's. That seems so crappy to me, I always at least text someone to say thank you for a gift. And a text would be more than enough, I just want to know they got it and maybe liked it or got a laugh out of it.  (ETA: First party was in April, second was in August).

[rubytue]

Oct 16, 2024 9:47:09 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

How do 'we' feel about pre-printed photo thank you postcards sent out after a wedding?  Even if there's a hand-written note on it? I felt weird getting one.  On one hand, I was happy to see a pro photo of the couple as I'm not likely to see them for this couple otherwise.  And I'm all for them saving money and paper by sending a post card instead of a thank you note in an envelope.  I think my issue was that the hand-written part was just as generic and non-personalized as the printed thank you statement, it didn't even have our names hand-written.  But then thinking more about it, I can't remember if we personalized our thank yous or just wrote the same thing on every card.  I think I'm ending up in the camp of any thank you is an appropriate thank you.  But now I feel weird throwing out the card since it is a picture, but I'm also not saving it.  

We personalized the notes somewhat. But, you know, everyone that gave us money contributed to a new coffee table. And no, it wasn’t a $500 one, nor do we still have it lol

glw, wildrice - we have the TellHoCo app. I used it for some dead trees (taken care of within 2 weeks) and a sinking spot in the road (3 months). Both were investigated within 48 hours, but final resolution was the time frames above. 

[rubytue]

Oct 16, 2024 13:27:02 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Oct 16, 2024 9:47:09 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

How do 'we' feel about pre-printed photo thank you postcards sent out after a wedding?  Even if there's a hand-written note on it? I felt weird getting one.  On one hand, I was happy to see a pro photo of the couple as I'm not likely to see them for this couple otherwise.  And I'm all for them saving money and paper by sending a post card instead of a thank you note in an envelope.  I think my issue was that the hand-written part was just as generic and non-personalized as the printed thank you statement, it didn't even have our names hand-written.  But then thinking more about it, I can't remember if we personalized our thank yous or just wrote the same thing on every card.  I think I'm ending up in the camp of any thank you is an appropriate thank you.  But now I feel weird throwing out the card since it is a picture, but I'm also not saving it.  

I'm ok with photo postcards (full stamps are so expensive now!), but the non-personalized thank you note would make me wonder why they even bothered. It kind of makes it "about them" instead of about thanking someone for a gift. Just another way to send more pictures of themselves, which has gotten out of hand with weddings lately.

However, the bar is pretty low, so I'd say it is better than nothing.

I agree having to address your own thank you card envelope is awful. It is one thing to take a shortcut by using photocards or address labels, but to pawn the work off on the gift giver is just rude.

On a separate thank you rant, 2 mom friends had 40th birthday parties recently and I brought a small gift to both parties. Neither one has mentioned the gifts AT ALL. Not a text, not in person, no thank you card. I'm honestly kind of wondering if they even got them, although in both cases I gave the gifts to their H's. That seems so crappy to me, I always at least text someone to say thank you for a gift. And a text would be more than enough, I just want to know they got it and maybe liked it or got a laugh out of it.

I feel like that is one of those things that everyone tells the guest of honor is OK, and no one ever complains about at the time, so people think it’s ok. But really, after the fact we are gossiping about the rudeness on our own private GBCN.

[ssmjlm]

Oct 16, 2024 9:47:09 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

How do 'we' feel about pre-printed photo thank you postcards sent out after a wedding?  Even if there's a hand-written note on it? I felt weird getting one.  On one hand, I was happy to see a pro photo of the couple as I'm not likely to see them for this couple otherwise.  And I'm all for them saving money and paper by sending a post card instead of a thank you note in an envelope.  I think my issue was that the hand-written part was just as generic and non-personalized as the printed thank you statement, it didn't even have our names hand-written.  But then thinking more about it, I can't remember if we personalized our thank yous or just wrote the same thing on every card.  I think I'm ending up in the camp of any thank you is an appropriate thank you.  But now I feel weird throwing out the card since it is a picture, but I'm also not saving it.  

These days I think any thank you is better than none, but I would have liked to at least see my name, generic thank you, signature.


I have a sorority sister who touts herself as a "renowned local city wedding planner" who sent out generic thank you photo cards 6+ months after her wedding when I sent her a $100 place setting as a gift.

I still wonder if she tells her clients that's ok too.

[fernweh]

Oct 16, 2024 12:20:46 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

This comes up more often than you’d think- what’s the proper response for “professor, I won’t be in class today bc I have court”. Bc I want to say TELL ME EVERYTHING bc I’m nosy as hell.

Do you teach mostly lowerclassmen or upperclassmen? If lower I assume (I know, I shouldn’t assume anything) it’s probably a lot of minor in possession- it’s been years but that’s what most of my classmates had to attend court for my first couple years of college.

[shauni27]

Oct 16, 2024 13:27:02 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Oct 16, 2024 9:47:09 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

How do 'we' feel about pre-printed photo thank you postcards sent out after a wedding?  Even if there's a hand-written note on it? I felt weird getting one.  On one hand, I was happy to see a pro photo of the couple as I'm not likely to see them for this couple otherwise.  And I'm all for them saving money and paper by sending a post card instead of a thank you note in an envelope.  I think my issue was that the hand-written part was just as generic and non-personalized as the printed thank you statement, it didn't even have our names hand-written.  But then thinking more about it, I can't remember if we personalized our thank yous or just wrote the same thing on every card.  I think I'm ending up in the camp of any thank you is an appropriate thank you.  But now I feel weird throwing out the card since it is a picture, but I'm also not saving it.  

I'm ok with photo postcards (full stamps are so expensive now!), but the non-personalized thank you note would make me wonder why they even bothered. It kind of makes it "about them" instead of about thanking someone for a gift. Just another way to send more pictures of themselves, which has gotten out of hand with weddings lately.

However, the bar is pretty low, so I'd say it is better than nothing.

I agree having to address your own thank you card envelope is awful. It is one thing to take a shortcut by using photocards or address labels, but to pawn the work off on the gift giver is just rude.

On a separate thank you rant, 2 mom friends had 40th birthday parties recently and I brought a small gift to both parties. Neither one has mentioned the gifts AT ALL. Not a text, not in person, no thank you card. I'm honestly kind of wondering if they even got them, although in both cases I gave the gifts to their H's. That seems so crappy to me, I always at least text someone to say thank you for a gift. And a text would be more than enough, I just want to know they got it and maybe liked it or got a laugh out of it.

I agree, just send a quick text!

I also wonder about thank you notes for kid's birthday parties. We do not send thank you cards other than to the family members who SENT gifts to the kiddo. Those people get cards. But what about the friends that come? I had never been to a kids birthday party that then sent thank you cards, except for once this year and now I am wondering if we are the assholes for not sending thank you cards to the 35 kids who brough gifts to S for his bday.

[followyourarrow]

The eyecare related post reminded me that we had a post in the last few months about a poster whose husband was having vision problems, and she was asking if she should still do a work trip. Was there an update to that? I think they posted with an anonymous account, so I don't want to out them.

[maudefindlay]

I refuse to address my own thank you card, I don't need one that badly.

[picksthemusic]

Oct 16, 2024 8:46:12 GMT -5 rubytue said:

meanie , I get it. Yesterday, when I was tending to my nephew and his eye injury, I was like “ok,, brush your teeth, and I’ll take you.” He said he did brush his teeth.

Ummm…. The fact I made that comment was a hint

If your nephew is anything like my son he doesn't brush his tongue nor does he brush for nearly long enough. It's a daily conversation.

[scm1011]

Oct 16, 2024 13:38:15 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

Oct 16, 2024 13:27:02 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

I'm ok with photo postcards (full stamps are so expensive now!), but the non-personalized thank you note would make me wonder why they even bothered. It kind of makes it "about them" instead of about thanking someone for a gift. Just another way to send more pictures of themselves, which has gotten out of hand with weddings lately.

However, the bar is pretty low, so I'd say it is better than nothing.

I agree having to address your own thank you card envelope is awful. It is one thing to take a shortcut by using photocards or address labels, but to pawn the work off on the gift giver is just rude.

On a separate thank you rant, 2 mom friends had 40th birthday parties recently and I brought a small gift to both parties. Neither one has mentioned the gifts AT ALL. Not a text, not in person, no thank you card. I'm honestly kind of wondering if they even got them, although in both cases I gave the gifts to their H's. That seems so crappy to me, I always at least text someone to say thank you for a gift. And a text would be more than enough, I just want to know they got it and maybe liked it or got a laugh out of it.

I agree, just send a quick text!

I also wonder about thank you notes for kid's birthday parties. We do not send thank you cards other than to the family members who SENT gifts to the kiddo. Those people get cards. But what about the friends that come? I had never been to a kids birthday party that then sent thank you cards, except for once this year and now I am wondering if we are the assholes for not sending thank you cards to the 35 kids who brough gifts to S for his bday.

We do no-gift parties, but theres always a few people who bring gifts anyways. For those, I usually take a photo of the birthday kid holding up the gift and text it along with "thanks so much for X - DS loved it! He was so happy Z could celebrate with him". But girl, THIRTY FIVE KIDS? Damn. 

[Roc A Bee]

Oct 16, 2024 12:44:28 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

Oct 16, 2024 9:47:09 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

How do 'we' feel about pre-printed photo thank you postcards sent out after a wedding?  Even if there's a hand-written note on it? I felt weird getting one.  On one hand, I was happy to see a pro photo of the couple as I'm not likely to see them for this couple otherwise.  And I'm all for them saving money and paper by sending a post card instead of a thank you note in an envelope.  I think my issue was that the hand-written part was just as generic and non-personalized as the printed thank you statement, it didn't even have our names hand-written.  But then thinking more about it, I can't remember if we personalized our thank yous or just wrote the same thing on every card.  I think I'm ending up in the camp of any thank you is an appropriate thank you.  But now I feel weird throwing out the card since it is a picture, but I'm also not saving it.  

I have no problem with this. I do hate the whole "address your own thank you card envelope while you are at a shower type event" thing. We went to a baby shower this year and all had to address our own cards. I had to do it at a baby shower 12 years ago, too. Big ick, in my opinion.

wildrice I would call animal control or the non-emergency police number, 100%.

I’ve been to showers where I address my own envelop and still don’t get a thank you card!

I can think of 1 thank you card I received in like 4-5 years.

Also I didn’t send thank yous after our “house warming”/ surprise wedding reception because I decided to open everything while wasted and couldn’t remember who bought what. Oops!

[waverly]

I don't have an issue with a generic photo card after a wedding. Some people would like the photo and keep it on the refrigerator.

I guess I don't feel like I need them to state the present that I gave them in the thank you unless I was wondering if they didn't get it or there was a mix up. Most people gave money anyway.

[noodleoo]

Oct 16, 2024 13:38:15 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

I also wonder about thank you notes for kid's birthday parties. We do not send thank you cards other than to the family members who SENT gifts to the kiddo. Those people get cards. But what about the friends that come? I had never been to a kids birthday party that then sent thank you cards, except for once this year and now I am wondering if we are the assholes for not sending thank you cards to the 35 kids who brough gifts to S for his bday.

I usually send thank you texts for kids bday party presents, but our parties are small with no more than 8-10 kids. I doubt I'd do that for 35 kids!

Also I don't judge if I don't get a thank you for a kid present.  It is just more work for the parent, everyone is over burdened as it is.

[emilyinchile]

The idea of 35 gifts for my kid (on top of family gifts) legit gives me a knot in my stomach. L's birthday isn't until May, and I'm already trying to figure out how we get the word out that he would prefer no large plastic items, just books.

Also, I am fine with "Dear Emily, Thank you for the X. It was lovely to celebrate with you/we missed you. Love, Couple". They're writing god knows how many notes, and it's a message whose entire purpose is to say thank you, I don't need it to delve into the intricacies of our personal relationship.

[wildrice]

Oct 16, 2024 13:27:09 GMT -5 rubytue said:

Oct 16, 2024 9:47:09 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

How do 'we' feel about pre-printed photo thank you postcards sent out after a wedding?  Even if there's a hand-written note on it? I felt weird getting one.  On one hand, I was happy to see a pro photo of the couple as I'm not likely to see them for this couple otherwise.  And I'm all for them saving money and paper by sending a post card instead of a thank you note in an envelope.  I think my issue was that the hand-written part was just as generic and non-personalized as the printed thank you statement, it didn't even have our names hand-written.  But then thinking more about it, I can't remember if we personalized our thank yous or just wrote the same thing on every card.  I think I'm ending up in the camp of any thank you is an appropriate thank you.  But now I feel weird throwing out the card since it is a picture, but I'm also not saving it.  

We personalized the notes somewhat. But, you know, everyone that gave us money contributed to a new coffee table. And no, it wasn’t a $500 one, nor do we still have it lol

glw, wildrice - we have the TellHoCo app. I used it for some dead trees (taken care of within 2 weeks) and a sinking spot in the road (3 months). Both were investigated within 48 hours, but final resolution was the time frames above. 

Oh I totally forgot you told me about that! I will use that to report. It's likely a dead deer but I would love for them to remove it.

[glitzy07]

Unpopular opinion: I hate thank you cards. It's just another thing for me to recycle immediately upon opening and I know full well you didn't actually WANT to take the time to send them out anyway.

Don't get me wrong. We make sure to thank people for any gifts received, either in person or on a phone call, and I do appreciate a real heartfelt thank you. I just don't think thank you cards are genuine for most people. It's a chore and most of us know it.

[rubytue]

Oct 16, 2024 13:57:10 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

Oct 16, 2024 8:46:12 GMT -5 rubytue said:

meanie , I get it. Yesterday, when I was tending to my nephew and his eye injury, I was like “ok,, brush your teeth, and I’ll take you.” He said he did brush his teeth.

Ummm…. The fact I made that comment was a hint

If your nephew is anything like my son he doesn't brush his tongue nor does he brush for nearly long enough. It's a daily conversation.

This was the first time I’ve noticed an issue, and it was like 10am. So, it was reasonable to think a 28 year old just woke up and hadn’t done this yet. OTOH, he is 28 and has has girlfriends. You’d think…

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Oct 16, 2024 13:37:05 GMT -5 fernweh said:

Oct 16, 2024 12:20:46 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

This comes up more often than you’d think- what’s the proper response for “professor, I won’t be in class today bc I have court”. Bc I want to say TELL ME EVERYTHING bc I’m nosy as hell.

Do you teach mostly lowerclassmen or upperclassmen? If lower I assume (I know, I shouldn’t assume anything) it’s probably a lot of minor in possession- it’s been years but that’s what most of my classmates had to attend court for my first couple years of college.

Lower classmen but their ages are all over the place. I’ll never know, but I’m a busybody

[beerlover]

No one around here does thank you gifts for kid parties, thank the Lord. I think my mom probably did make me write them when I had parties as a child, though.

The last wedding we went to, just sent a photo of themselves with a generic Thank You written over it. It does seem a little lazy to me but whatever, I guess that's what the youth are doing these days lol.

[maudefindlay]

I do believe people should not feel obligated to send thank yous after a funeral for flowers/gifts. I think people should get a pass then.

[bex1973]

Oct 16, 2024 14:42:05 GMT -5 glitzy07 said:

Unpopular opinion: I hate thank you cards. It's just another thing for me to recycle immediately upon opening and I know full well you didn't actually WANT to take the time to send them out anyway.

Agreed. I actually don't like cards in general for any occasion because it's wasteful I think. And I struggle to get rid of ones from close family members because I feel obligated to keep them for some reason. 

[ssmjlm]

followyourarrow, she went on the trip and had a great time. She did post an update when she was on her way back to the US.

[glitzy07]

Oct 16, 2024 15:05:13 GMT -5 bex1973 said:

Oct 16, 2024 14:42:05 GMT -5 glitzy07 said:

Unpopular opinion: I hate thank you cards. It's just another thing for me to recycle immediately upon opening and I know full well you didn't actually WANT to take the time to send them out anyway.

Agreed. I actually don't like cards in general for any occasion because it's wasteful I think. And I struggle to get rid of ones from close family members because I feel obligated to keep them for some reason. 

Agree with this too. My mom has stopped buying cards for birthdays and just hands me $100 because she knows that I'll just recycle the card and tell her to save her $3-6. lol ALSO, can we talk about how expensive greeting cards have become!? It's a racket.

[lust2hart]

Oct 16, 2024 15:24:41 GMT -5 glitzy07 said:

Oct 16, 2024 15:05:13 GMT -5 bex1973 said:

Agreed. I actually don't like cards in general for any occasion because it's wasteful I think. And I struggle to get rid of ones from close family members because I feel obligated to keep them for some reason. 

Agree with this too. My mom has stopped buying cards for birthdays and just hands me $100 because she knows that I'll just recycle the card and tell her to save her $3-6. lol ALSO, can we talk about how expensive greeting cards have become!? It's a racket.

I get all of my cards at Dollar Tree! Which is now the $1.25 Tree, because of course it is. But some cards are 2/$1.25!

[bex1973]

Oct 16, 2024 15:24:41 GMT -5 glitzy07 said:

Oct 16, 2024 15:05:13 GMT -5 bex1973 said:

Agreed. I actually don't like cards in general for any occasion because it's wasteful I think. And I struggle to get rid of ones from close family members because I feel obligated to keep them for some reason. 

Agree with this too. My mom has stopped buying cards for birthdays and just hands me $100 because she knows that I'll just recycle the card and tell her to save her $3-6. lol ALSO, can we talk about how expensive greeting cards have become!? It's a racket.

SO EXPENSIVE!!

[tacokick]

I bought a Longchamp bag on eBay for $40 including shipping and I was suspicious because no one was bidding against me but I think it’s real?

The description was oddly worded like they had cut and pasted from other listings and the person hadn’t sold much so maybe that was why people weren’t bidding? I just wanted a bag that lightweight for my class that looked halfway professional so it will do either way but if it is fake, it’s a really good one. When I scanned the code of the bag it came it in, it came up as what it was supposed to be.

Last time I bought something cheap I wasn’t sure about (a set of Eames side chairs) they turned out to be real so maybe I’m just due to be lucky again?

[tacokick]

I truly like writing thank you cards! I’m sad most of the people I had an excuse to write them to have died. A box of cards lasts me a long time.

I did stop writing them to my ILs because it became clear my MIL thought it was weird. She’s in her 80s so you’d think prime appreciation age!

[tacokick]

Oct 16, 2024 14:50:08 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Oct 16, 2024 13:37:05 GMT -5 fernweh said:

Do you teach mostly lowerclassmen or upperclassmen? If lower I assume (I know, I shouldn’t assume anything) it’s probably a lot of minor in possession- it’s been years but that’s what most of my classmates had to attend court for my first couple years of college.

Lower classmen but their ages are all over the place. I’ll never know, but I’m a busybody

When this has happened to me, I always say something like “No worries! I hope everything is okay! Let me know if you need anything” and they always spill. But people in general like to tell me things. Even if I don’t want them to.

[EvieEthelGarland]

My mom is the earliest of the boomers so TY notes were engrained in me. I would rather err on the side of annoying someone who thinks they're dumb than someone nice enough to send a gift. My uncle sent DS money in a birthday card this year. He has never sent him a card in 16 years so it was quite the surprise. I had him mail a thank you post card and according to my mom, my uncle was beyond impressed and overjoyed because his grandkids have never sent one. She's curious if he'll send a gift for Christmas*.



*not why I insisted he send a TY note