Updates, Randoms, Etc.

[186momx]

DD had her dietician appointment yesterday and it went as expected.  She wants DD to have a full bloodwork done to rule out any medical reasons why DD is still so tired/lethargic by the end of the week.  What we've been doing for meals and snack are good and she is going to give us some alternatives for carbs that aren't rice/potatoes.  We have another checkup in 6 weeks to go over lab stuff and make a game plan for when she needs to travel to gym meets.  

We have girls weekend this weekend and I'm stuck in tax class all day Saturday.  DD is fine with me being gone and is planning a quiet day with the dog.  

[waverly]

Today was a better day at work. I can't believe the lady that complained 3 months later. I would have addressed it 3 months ago. But the two people she could have been referencing have recently been pulled aside for verbal and written warnings, so I'm really not going to address them again, 1-2 weeks later. Of course the person doesn't know the timing. But again, if you have a complaint please don't wait 3 months and then not know what person you were talking about.

The other person probably is feeling some kind of way for a reason, but what the camera showed is not what she felt happened, it's more of a cultural thing paired with feeling some kind of way. Meanwhile, someone is actually injured and they were like oh they were fine. We reviewed the camera and it was a tough fall where you can hear them crack their head on the pavement and their head bounced.

[sdlaura]

waverly good for you for surviving interactions with the general public at work everyday - not sure I could do that! Our library has a clientele that definitely includes a number of unhoused individuals and people with mental health issues.

[supertrooper1]

I was on a Teams call today with multiple groups including my division and the programming division of my agency. For the first time in the 5+ years I've been in this specific job, it made me feel like I was back at my old job where hearsay and backstabbing among groups and management was commonplace due to misunderstandings.

It started last Friday where there was a programming change that affected hundreds of filings from our clients. Filings from our clients were assigned the incorrect date and it caused major issues. It was finally resolved yesterday, but all filings affected before it was fixed had to be manually updated by a programmer. Very time consuming and tedious, and we were adding all affected filings to one work ticket. An email was sent out to hundreds of people, including upper management that my division was violating a policy or law by requesting dates be changed, making my division look bad. That wasn't even close to what was happening and it was blown out of proportion. Luckily, we had 3 managers on the call that cleared things up and stuck up for us. But geez, what a mess!

In good news, Beau's DIL's 20 year old cousin survived his emergency liver transplant yesterday. They still don't know what caused the liver failure because he'd never had issues, no drugs, and no alcohol. It still baffles me that his DIL is sitting in the hospital again today, when her cousin is sedated and isolated. I get supporting his parents, but it doesn't need to be all day every day when they're not even that close. Beau's son is missing a day of work so she can be there and they need the money. Please tell me if I'm wrong to feel this way and set me straight!

[waverly]

supertrooper1, I think the issue with the situation described is the lack of paid time off. Our state mandated general paid leave for I believe employers who have over 25 staff. Unless he has PTO and used it all.

[sdlaura]

supertrooper1 I personally wouldn’t have the patience for dating someone with so many family situations that annoyed me 😬

[twinmomma]

My parents are in town this weekend and had planned to go watch DS's soccer game. It was the only one they'd get to this season given schedules. It's not our weekend with the kids and DH's ex decided that DS won't be playing this weekend because she wants to travel to go see her husband. So now my parents won't get to see him play at all this season. And DH's ex then had the balls to ask if after the game next weekend, her family could take DS out to dinner even though it's our weekend because it's the only game that her husband will make since he's traveling in to town. So we have to give up our parenting time and accommodate your family's needs to see DS, but if it's my family, you bail last minute and too bad? Every time I feel like she's being reasonable, her true selfish colors just shine on through!

[twinmomma]

supertrooper1, Honestly, I think beau's son and DIL are just big children who don't know how to adult and have never really had to deal with the consequences of that. This is just the most recent example of it, but it definitely sounds like a trend.

[rere]

My kitchen gut job has been officially pushed to January. We are annoyed because when we ordered, he indicated that he was slow and if we could get everything together we may be in by Halloween, obviously not. So we spent 2 weeks getting sinks and appliances so he could have the measurements which us about as fast as possible, and now we are January. He called and said he could do the 2 weeks of December. I said nope. We specifically said we need to avoid that time. He kept going on about how he had to finish 2 white orders before he got to my stain. I do not care. These cabinets better be spectacular.

[waverly]

sdlaura , We don't have a lot of homeless in our particular area. But we definitely have a few patrons with mental illness. Some of them have been severe enough behavioral wise to be banned from the library for 1 year, but they are back now. One of them has family support and is behaving themself. The other one had committed vandalism due to paranoia. We are actually one of the luckiest places with the least amount of problems, but we still have some.

[sdlaura]

waverly that does sound like a low number of problem patrons compared to our library. Our library is amazing in terms of programs and location (it has an ocean view), but it also is right next to a transit station for Amtrak and the local coaster train. I think being in a more downtown area close to transit equals more issues.

[waverly]

sdlaura, yeah that is true, there are some libraries in the suburbs near train stations that have more problems. And some suburbs in general have more issues than others. We are in a cornfield, so that helps, but maybe increases the car accidents since everyone drives or rides their bike.

[supertrooper1]

twinmomma , you hit the nail on the head with his son and DIL. They are big children that I hope grow up soon. Beau has a lot of guilt from losing his other son and not seeing his other grandson, so he puts up with a lot to maintain the relationship with this son and these grandkids.

sdlaura , I've thought about that a lot. Everyone else is great in his family and Beau is pretty close to perfect for me. So I put up with the child like behavior from his son and DIL.

waverly , he's on unemployment right now and could barely make ends meet just on that, so he's been working at Beau's brother's to make extra money. No PTO from that job, so taking a day off from his 2nd job just means losing money.

I sometimes feel like I'm a cold, heartless B, so I second guess myself questioning some of this stuff. 19 years with Ex-H really messed up my reality and self-confidence.

[waverly]

supertrooper1, I think where I draw the line is if they are borrowing money from you all or complaining all the time.

If they aren't complaining about lack of money or borrowing money then I guess they do what they want. It does sound like a complicated family dynamic though with your Beau constantly helping them out.

[campermom]

PDQ
Dd wanted to join a travel winter league. I said no, I can’t add it on to everything else. She said she will ask dad. I prepped that you will not get the response you are hoping for. But she tried anyhow. He immediately said no, said he’s busy (with what, she asks?) he says with getting his stepson places and “other stuff he has going on” which he can’t physically tell her bc it’s private but one day he can. Next conversation he had more prepared and told her mom needs to use her resources-grandparents, my non-live-in boyfriend (who has his own child and lives just as far away as he does from his own kids) aunt/uncles and even suggests my nephew take her, bc he pays (and tells her how much, not the 1st time) how much he pays in child support and this so to “make these things happen.” She drives back some of her own points-right on target if you ask me, but I did NOT involve myself.

The league is 35 practices, 8 indiv sessions and 4-5 weekend tournaments. Practice field is a half hour away. I have my 3 kids alone now all but 2-4 days a month and am running to rec hockey, travel baseball, karate all in the fall, then winter is ski club during the week and ski junior development for 2 full weekends, then spring is karate, rec lacrosse, rec baseball and travel baseball. This league would overlap all of the above.

No.

The wounds begin to heal, she accepts. Had obvious feelings about the interactions. Then he reintroduced it a week later saying he could do one practice per week, as long as mom does the rest. I said no, sorry. I can’t. But he tells her that mom really set you and I up for disappointment and again, this is why she receives child support. He tells her I can do all the tournaments on my time and just move the other kids commitments. As it turns out, the first tournement listed could be Disney. Right.

She accepts again. I found a different non travel winter league as last year-no commitment, just games, no practices. One mid week game for 8 weeks-nothing on weekends. Fifty bucks. Close to home.

She is happy with this, I am happy with this. But there’s serious damage done that he may not ever be able to repair. He only made use of one visit this month, too. So 2 days.

[mae0111]

campermom - I’m sorry. He’s such a dick. I just can’t think of another word for him.

[mommyatty]

campermom- he’s awfully close to the line on attempts at parental alienation. Which luckily it appears is backfiring on him. And screw him for “I pay money so I don’t have to do things for or with you.” Your kids won’t ever forget that.

[campermom]

The good thing about having a safe secure relationship w all my kids is that they see this behavior for what it is, as they get older, without me having to interpret it for them. One even said their older sibling saw this and understood it before they did bc, it takes being a certain age to see it.

Understanding I can’t control it has been hard but really important for all of us. Just being there to pick up pieces and support them is what I can do.

One has pretty much stopped going. I’ve got 2 kids who have/want to work at age 14, the earliest they can. They know I can get them to and from their jobs. Their dad doesn’t want to do anymore driving than is required, but the awful part is he basically tells them that. So they work it out w him and usually just stay w me.

[mae0111]

Very random... I posted early in the summer about my BIL having a brain tumor, which turned out to be cancer. Rare, not glioblastoma. Surgery to remove it, and radiation as that type of cancer did not respond to chemo.

He finished his radiation 2 weeks ago. And this weekend, he ran a marathon. He trained through his treatments.

I am in awe.

[mae0111]

Another completely random comment...

If you're interested in true crime, there is a truly insane case that has been going on for the past few years here in MA. It's been on 20/20 and Dateline recently. Murder of a police officer, scandal involving local and state police, the DA, the ATF, and the FBI. The same people from these LE Entities are also linked to a second murder case involving a young, pregnant girl... which is another horrible story...

Anyway, Vanity Fair did a two-part series profiling the woman accused of murder. It's the most accurate report that I've found (outside of an outspoken, rude, and insane blogger that initially broke this whole thing wide open and has since been charged and jailed for witness intimidation for trying to interview the people he believes killed John O'keefe).

If you're interested, here are the links... Karen Read is being retried in January, even though jurors have come forward saying that the jury voted unanimously to acquit on 2 of 3 charges. They claim that the foreperson, appointed by the judge that showed clear bias during the trial, would not allow them to communicate the acquittal to the judge...

www.vanityfair.com/style/story/karen-read-trial-interview-part-1
www.vanityfair.com/style/story/karen-read-trial-interview-part-2