Open letters

[186momx]

Dear Halloween
Why do you have to complicate life so much.  I just want to know when, where, who, and what for that day.  Having everything up in the air is driving this planning momma bonkers
Me

Dear DH
You spent your birthday weekend away from home with friends doing your hobbies.  Why are you in such a foul mood?  You came home pissed off on Sunday and are still pissed.  
What happened as we are confused.  
Wife and kid

[waverly]

One of my kids, a mom is picking her up, taking her trick or treating, feeding her dinner and dropping her off- Amazing!

The other one is with a group of 8th grade boys making their own plans. The parents are all refusing to “host”. One family used to host but I was told by DS that they were tired of one of the troublemaker boys, and that is why they stopped. Everyone else is refusing to step up for good reasons.

Our neighbors hosted for 2-3 years and DS's friend hosted for 2 years.  The other neighbor has never hosted anything ever, not even having the kids play in her yard (parents of the "troublemaker boy").  I would, but DH is traveling, and I'm not hosting 6+ teenagers by myself.  

They are old enough to walk around by themselves. It’s like herding cats. Just tell me the plan!  I was told by DS, "there are many variables, mom" 

[rere]

Dear SIl

I'm booked for the wedding. My bank account and mental health are going to be suffering. My plan is to come and go as quickly as possible. Especially now that mom is going and is staying with you also. DS the army guy described the whole thing as a pipe bomb, I say shitshow. Same thing.

Signed SIL

Dear mom. Shut up. If you are going to this wedding, sit there and shut up. You are already off to a bad start by insisting to not call the groom by his correct name because you think it's funny, for 4 years. I called you out for being an ass on group text, so maybe it will sink in.

Signed, how are we related.

[erbear]

Oct 30, 2024 12:26:44 GMT -5 waverly said:

One of my kids, a mom is picking her up, taking her trick or treating, feeding her dinner and dropping her off- Amazing!

The other one is with a group of 8th grade boys making their own plans. The parents are all refusing to “host”. One family used to host but I was told by DS that they were tired of one of the troublemaker boys, and that is why they stopped. Everyone else is refusing to step up for good reasons.

Our neighbors hosted for 2-3 years and DS's friend hosted for 2 years.  The other neighbor has never hosted anything ever, not even having the kids play in her yard (parents of the "troublemaker boy").  I would, but DH is traveling, and I'm not hosting 6+ teenagers by myself.  

They are old enough to walk around by themselves. It’s like herding cats. Just tell me the plan!  I was told by DS, "there are many variables, mom" 

Unpopular opinion: step out of this. Teenagers are old enough to figure this out on their own without any parental intervention. If they don't have plans, that's on them.

[librarychica]

Dear Halloween-is-awkward folks,

I agree. This year’s awkwardness is brought to you by the fact that DD1’s two best friends are my best friend’s daughter and a boy at her school who happens to live in a great ToTing neighborhood. All 3 want to go there. Fine. They want to go alone. Also fine.

They don’t want DD2 with them. I mean, okay, fine.

Best friend and daughter live half an hour away.

K.

DD2 wants to go to her friend’s neighborhood. Great! Ours is like a block and kind of lame. Fair.

H doesn’t know friend’s mom.

So do I drag my friend along to ToT with strangers and my younger kid while her kid is elsewhere? Send H to someone’s house he doesn’t know when technically it was me and DD2 who were invited (are H and I interchangeable in these kinds of situations) and hand out candy at home with friend? Go with DD2 and leave best friend at home with H to answer the door? I mean they’ve known one another 20 years.

Is she bringing her husband?

All I know is that I am making chili for everyone.

Sincerely,
Let’s just FF to Thanksgiving

[waverly]

Oct 30, 2024 13:10:20 GMT -5 erbear said:

Oct 30, 2024 12:26:44 GMT -5 waverly said:

One of my kids, a mom is picking her up, taking her trick or treating, feeding her dinner and dropping her off- Amazing!

The other one is with a group of 8th grade boys making their own plans. The parents are all refusing to “host”. One family used to host but I was told by DS that they were tired of one of the troublemaker boys, and that is why they stopped. Everyone else is refusing to step up for good reasons.

Our neighbors hosted for 2-3 years and DS's friend hosted for 2 years.  The other neighbor has never hosted anything ever, not even having the kids play in her yard (parents of the "troublemaker boy").  I would, but DH is traveling, and I'm not hosting 6+ teenagers by myself.  

They are old enough to walk around by themselves. It’s like herding cats. Just tell me the plan!  I was told by DS, "there are many variables, mom" 

Unpopular opinion: step out of this. Teenagers are old enough to figure this out on their own without any parental intervention. If they don't have plans, that's on them.

I'm not in their plans.  Just waiting to be told what is happening. 

They wanted someone to host a party because they have been "spoiled" by all the parents hosting.  All the parents said no this year, probably because they are old enough to just walk around without pizza afterwards.  I never had anyone hosting a party when I was trick or treating as a kid.  

[waverly]

Oct 30, 2024 13:12:40 GMT -5 librarychica said:

Dear Halloween-is-awkward folks,

I agree. This year’s awkwardness is brought to you by the fact that DD1’s two best friends are my best friend’s daughter and a boy at her school who happens to live in a great ToTing neighborhood. All 3 want to go there. Fine. They want to go alone. Also fine.

They don’t want DD2 with them. I mean, okay, fine.

Best friend and daughter live half an hour away.

K.

DD2 wants to go to her friend’s neighborhood. Great! Ours is like a block and kind of lame. Fair.

H doesn’t know friend’s mom.

So do I drag my friend along to ToT with strangers and my younger kid while her kid is elsewhere? Send H to someone’s house he doesn’t know when technically it was me and DD2 who were invited (are H and I interchangeable in these kinds of situations) and hand out candy at home with friend? Go with DD2 and leave best friend at home with H to answer the door? I mean they’ve known one another 20 years.

Is she bringing her husband?

All I know is that I am making chili for everyone.

Sincerely,
Let’s just FF to Thanksgiving

I guess you have to ask friend what she prefers?  I'm kind of glad that I have no plans for Halloween.  The way it is looking I have zero responsibilities that day which I am super excited about.  I may have to drop off DS and pick him up on the side of the road, but they seemed to have pivoted to my neighborhood which means he just leaves and comes back on his own.  Fingers crossed they decide to stay with my neighborhood since it is easier than "dropping my kid off on the side of the road somewhere" . 

[mae0111]

Dear WP -

I literally hate Halloween. I keep getting texts from moms of kids who were told they couldn't participate with other people or were just left out of plans all together. DD2 has friends from all over - soccer club, school soccer, school classes, around town, old school. They're allllll coming now. I think? I don't know. Many don't know each other, they only know DD2, they're all 11 years old and awkward. It's going to be weird.

DD1 mentioned like a month ago that she *might* want to make plans with *someone*. Then nothing. I was afraid to ask. Then she drops the bomb on MONDAY that I have to pick up her and her friend at school at 445, or maybe 430, or maybe 530, or maybe 515... she doesn't know... but I'm supposed to be wrangling DD2 and her random group of misfit toys and get them where they need to be... and DH's license is day to day... and DD1 lost her mind when I refused to cancel DD2's plans and enter her insane holding pattern of being an on-demand Uber...

Signed,
Can't wait until November 1

[twinmomma]

Dear vaccines,
Wow you have destroyed me. I knew doubling up on flu and Covid shots was risky. But I never expected you to hit me like this! I haven’t gotten out of bed all day. If I walk around I get dizzy and my entire body hurts. Can you please run your course so I can function again?
Thanks,
Hit by a truck

[waverly]

mae0111, I feel like you do a lot of the driving. Maybe the other girl's parents could pick them up?

[k3am]

Dear self,

Why did you expect Costco to still have candy the day before Halloween?

Signed,
Procrastinated because I don’t want candy in the house

—

Dear self,

Remember the last two times when you moved and you waited until the LAST minute to start packing? And you ended up having to pay the movers extra to pack for you and buy packing materials? And how hectic it was? And how much harder everything was? REMEMBER?!??

Well this time, you have a major renovation coming up. The ENTIRE first floor needs to be emptied out. And you’re attempting to LIVE in this house during the renovation, so the stuff you need to access needs to be organized and accessible. You likely have about 2 weeks, maybe less depending on contractor yo get this sorted. Start now.

Signed,
Still a procrastinator

[sdlaura]

Sorry twinmomma! I got both too and the Covid one really made my arm hurt a ton. I’ve never had issues in the past. I hope you feel better soon!

And I agree with all the Halloween logistics haters. At least my parents are in town so someone should be able to hand out candy instead of some teenagers dumping the whole bowl we leave out, while we are shuffling the kids around.

But I am really looking forward to 4-year-old DS3 TOTing. He is sooo cute Here are my younger two in their costumes.

[dglvrk2]

Dear WPs,
I'm in the hating Halloween camp. My husband and daughters really like the holiday. I feel like all of the stress is dumped on me. Supporting them as they coordinate with friends, ordering and altering costumes and being at the beck and call for driving on Halloween night are the biggest pains for me.

This year, I've encouraged the girls to try on their costumes MULTIPLE times to make sure everything works before tomorrow night. They say they have and I'm just going to trust them because they haven't modeled them for me. I'm also letting them know I will be available for driving between 5 and 9 tomorrow, but they need to tell me what they need. Also, H turns into a 13 year old boy on Halloween, so I've let him know my parameters. If they all want to stay out past 9, it's totally fine with me, but my work will be done by then.

So far, I have not received any definitive plans from the girls. There are a lot of texts on DD1's phone about Halloween, so something is in the works. We're invited to two parties on one of the busiest ToT streets in our community....I'm cautiously optimistic things will fall into place even if I keep quiet 🤐

[sdlaura]

[librarychica]

Oct 30, 2024 13:33:59 GMT -5 waverly said:

Oct 30, 2024 13:12:40 GMT -5 librarychica said:

Dear Halloween-is-awkward folks,

I agree. This year’s awkwardness is brought to you by the fact that DD1’s two best friends are my best friend’s daughter and a boy at her school who happens to live in a great ToTing neighborhood. All 3 want to go there. Fine. They want to go alone. Also fine.

They don’t want DD2 with them. I mean, okay, fine.

Best friend and daughter live half an hour away.

K.

DD2 wants to go to her friend’s neighborhood. Great! Ours is like a block and kind of lame. Fair.

H doesn’t know friend’s mom.

So do I drag my friend along to ToT with strangers and my younger kid while her kid is elsewhere? Send H to someone’s house he doesn’t know when technically it was me and DD2 who were invited (are H and I interchangeable in these kinds of situations) and hand out candy at home with friend? Go with DD2 and leave best friend at home with H to answer the door? I mean they’ve known one another 20 years.

Is she bringing her husband?

All I know is that I am making chili for everyone.

Sincerely,
Let’s just FF to Thanksgiving

I guess you have to ask friend what she prefers?  I'm kind of glad that I have no plans for Halloween.  The way it is looking I have zero responsibilities that day which I am super excited about.  I may have to drop off DS and pick him up on the side of the road, but they seemed to have pivoted to my neighborhood which means he just leaves and comes back on his own.  Fingers crossed they decide to stay with my neighborhood since it is easier than "dropping my kid off on the side of the road somewhere" . 

Yeah it’s absolutely a non-problem and I’ve asked her. She has said whatever works, no worries, I am just annoyed because this is not my holiday. H has offered to do whatever we need. I am being petty, lol.

[mae0111]

Oct 30, 2024 14:49:15 GMT -5 waverly said:

mae0111, I feel like you do a lot of the driving. Maybe the other girl's parents could pick them up?

Yes - tons of driving. Tomorrow is tough because the friend lives 30 mins away. So her mom actually offered to drive up the 30 mins, pick up her DD, bring her the 15 mins across town, drive 30 mins home, and then repeat after trick or treating. I typically don’t mind the driving, but I can’t be in 2 places at once and DD2 can’t go alone quite yet.

[supertrooper1]

Dear dishwasher,

Please keep working! Shutting the breaker off overnight seemed to work and you powered back on. But I worry that the motherboard is going out and I'll have to call the landlord. I have an irrational fear that telling him something is broken will lead him to raise my rent or kicking me out even though I'm a great tenant. Plus it's awkward having him in my house which is technically his.

Signed,
Wish I was a homeowner

[sandandsea]

Dear self,
Please take a big breath and get it all together again. You’ve been dropping (tiny) balls lately (like forgetting to pick something up from a buy nothing group) and it’s not like you. Let’s knock this off.
Thanks,
Management

Brought to you by work busy season, two weekends of soccer tournaments, a work trip, and 2 days volunteering at school over the past month that has been nonstop.