Apple Watch vs Phone for kid

[nicolewi]

We waited until mid 7th grade to give my older kids phones and I had no regrets. My 6th grader wants a phone b/c she wants to be able to communicate with us and to be able to listen to music and stuff on the bus. The kids all use their electronics on the bus ride. 

So I'm debating a little bit about giving her a phone, but maybe even collecting it in the evening or something? I don't want her immediately addicted to her phone as it's definitely an issue we already struggle with with the big siblings. But I do think it would be good for her to have a way to communicate with us if needed. There is a group text for some girls that she feels like she's missing out on, but honestly not being tied to the group text might be a positive thing overall. 

Another option is to do an Apple Watch with cellular so she could call/text. 

Has anyone tried doing the watch for a kid first? Any thoughts on the phone situation?

[abs]

For a 6th grader I would do a phone but definitely with restrictions. DD having the ability to make plans with friends with directly and reach out for homework help was really invaluable.

[gerberdaisy]

DD has an apple watch, but mainly works to call/text and location tracking. She got it when she started walking to school. If we were to wait until 6th grade I would probably go straight to a phone with restrictions.

[CloudBee]

I can't say enough about our Gabb watch. It's completely locked down. The newer version allows for typing up custom messages. That was our main complaint with the older model which only allowed DS to select from pre-programmed texts to us. (Which we programmed.) The updated model allows him to type messages out.

I don't think I would shell out money on an Apple Phone if you're just going to lock it down. Save your money and get a Gabb or Gizmo.

I'm also ok with DS (nearing 12, 6th grade) being the only kid in a group that has a book in his hands vs. a phone, so my perspective may not align with what would work for your family. I'm all for helping him fit in when it comes to a host of other moments in his childhood, but not when it comes to tech. (Heck, I had a post the other day asking what expensive hiking backpack I should buy so he fit in with Boy Scouts.)

The group text ability with a real phone would give me pause. I'm sure she's feeling a bit left out, but it's also a societal pressure I wouldn't want to give into at this age. I'm a fan of Kids Messenger on our family iPad, which DS can check out by request and use in our living room/kitchen. I really don't want DS's friends to have access to him literally in their pockets, and him having his head down texting with friends while we're riding in the car. So often when we're out as a family riding in the car, running errands, out for meals, we have our best conversations. I would be worried about losing that so young.

[winemaker06]

We got our 5th grader an Apple Watch with cellular this summer, and it does everything we need so far. Groups texts are difficult though, so we also connected a super old iPhone so he can respond to those a little easier. It doesn't have service, so just sits at the house but can be used on wi-fi.

[sdlaura]

My oldest got a phone when she went into 7th grade a couple months ago. And honestly I'm loving her having one. It makes things so much more convenient and I think, safer that we can contact each other when we're not together. All her friend groups and sports teams have group texts, and the watch doesn't work well for that. But she also isn't obsessive about it. I think in your case, your idea of letting her use one and then collecting it is a good one, and giving her more free reign at the age you did for your older kids.

[Jalapeñomel]

My 6th grader has an Apple Watch and it works fine. He can call or text, I can track his location, listen to music, and it locks down for school.

No phones in his school, and I love it. I don’t think a kid *needs* a phone until HS, at the earliest.

Group texts brings on a lot of trouble especially in MS.

We started with a Gizmo, but that watch was a POS, and I would never recommend it.

[sparty04]

DS1 got a phone when he turned 12, I wish we could have waited longer but he was missing out on a lot of friend stuff and he's already too much of a homebody as it is. But I just wanted to say that you can still stream music with an Apple Watch. My younger two kids have one and use it primarily for music

[khibb]

Nov 5, 2024 22:09:15 GMT -5 sparty04 said:

DS1 got a phone when he turned 12, I wish we could have waited longer but he was missing out on a lot of friend stuff and he's already too much of a homebody as it is. But I just wanted to say that you can still stream music with an Apple Watch. My younger two kids have one and use it primarily for music

How do you stream music on the watch? My son has an Apple Watch but has been begging for a phone mainly for listening to music.

[niq]

I think a phone that you collect in the evening is a reasonable plan. We have V's phone locked down enough that he doesn't spend much time on it.

I think texting with friends is fine and you can tell your kid that if there's too much drama, or its getting in the way of homework or activities, you'll take the phone away. (At V's middle school they teach something like "don't say anything over text/email you wouldn't say in person").

V is in 6th grade and has a pretty locked down phone. We'll probably keep it locked down as long as we can.

In general I am pro locked-down phone for middle schoolers because I want him to start managing his social life instead of me texting parents to schedule playdates. But these days it's still "hey do you want to text so-and-so about playing Pokemon this Saturday"

[wanderingback]

I recently saw this campaign that encourages parents to wait until the end of 8th grade until giving a phone. This seems very reasonable to me. www.waituntil8th.org/

So I would opt for a watch.

[ssmjlm]

We did a phone going into 6th. We actually had an emergency situation with a camp counselor this summer that made me so thankful she had the phone.

The apple watch had a huge bug last year where the location function was completely dead. It's a known issue and apple did not have a fix. It wasn't carrier dependent. This was for stand alone watches with cellular.

[countthestars]

DD is 11, in 6th grade.

She has access to an old iPhone for Messenger Kids on WiFi at home, and has a gizmo watch for contacting H and I. We bought a cheap mp3 player on Amazon and load it with music for the bus. I’ve seen the 6th grade text chain from her school and HARD PASS on any of that. The things these kids type to each other is so wildly inappropriate.

[sdlaura]

countthestars, that must be so school/kid specific. On the 6th grade text chain for DD’s school, the kids were just sharing pics of each other from when they were all in kindergarten together.

My DD’s group texts now are with the girls on her sports teams and that she met at sleepaway camp and that sort of thing.

[daisyduck]

Go read the book The Anxious Generation and then make your decision. Phones are so damaging to kids mental health, the book presents a lot of data and reasons why that is happening. If you are leaning towards a phone, I would do a flip phone with no internet and no social media.

[countthestars]

Nov 7, 2024 15:36:41 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

countthestars , that must be so school/kid specific. On the 6th grade text chain for DD’s school, the kids were just sharing pics of each other from when they were all in kindergarten together.

My DD’s group texts now are with the girls on her sports teams and that she met at sleepaway camp and that sort of thing.

I'm sure it is, or your DD isn't being added to group chats. DD's best friend has a phone and she was added to a group called "X School 6th Grade" with 30+ kids in it where they called a kid the R word and said he was uncool (he wasn't in the chat but they named him), someone called someone else a dildo, which turned into a question about what a dildo was, a screen shot of dildos, and making fun of a family tragedy of someone IN THE GROUP CHAT. All without DD's friend even consenting to or knowing that she was in the chain - luckily her mom was screening her phone and saw it first. 

[sdlaura]

countthestars I think the full grade text group (60 kids in her 6th grade) was actually good for DD because it reinforced my advice of ‘never put anything in a text that you wouldn’t want everyone you know to see.’ Since everyone she knew would see anything that went there, it reinforced the reason to be careful.

At my 12-year-old’s age, my friends and I were in AOL internet chat rooms talking to people who probably were not actually teenagers, with zero adult supervision. So DD’s online interactions are more monitored.

[magma]

Nov 7, 2024 17:21:31 GMT -5 daisyduck said:

Go read the book The Anxious Generation and then make your decision. Phones are so damaging to kids mental health, the book presents a lot of data and reasons why that is happening. If you are leaning towards a phone, I would do a flip phone with no internet and no social media.

AG is an excellent book and a must-read for every parent, in my opinion.

DS is in 9th and still no phone. He has an Apple Watch. He’d gladly accept a phone but isn’t bugging us for one, so we don’t feel a need to change things - just wanted to pass along a different example here. He is on huge text threads with friends and mostly just skims through the miles of nonsense, shrugs, throws a comment once in a while, but then goes back to his schoolwork, art, other activities he is involved in. He has an iPad and can text more easily there but I like that it isn’t with him 24/7 like a phone. He has ADHD and can get down the rabbit hole on the internet with reading and research (can’t we all) so we aren’t in a rush to give him another device.

Sample size of one, but he is at a very rigorous private school and so far has all A’s. Is involved in debate, design/art, theatre, clubs. Teachers give feedback that he is a leader in class and a great contributor in discussions, he’s very engaged. Debate has a TeamSnap and he just logs in on his laptop to use that. He stays in touch with friends on his watch and iPad. He has mentioned it being a pain at some school assemblies they’ll put up a QR code for something and he can’t scan, but he just has a friend send it to him via email.

Obviously every family needs to figure out what works for them, but sharing another POV. Daughter is 12 and we will not get her a phone until 9th at earliest.

[vmars]

I got DS a watch in 4th grade. He was a little obsessed in the beginning but it quickly waned. It’s very locked down so it’s basically no fun. We mainly got it for days we leave before the bus comes. He’s responsible and will text us when he gets on the bus and walks to the bus stop.

I don’t know when he will get a phone, but he needs to mature quite a bit. I can see the appeal because the tracking feature kinda sucks on the watch and calls don’t always go through.

[sparty04]

Nov 6, 2024 23:34:12 GMT -5 khibb said:

Nov 5, 2024 22:09:15 GMT -5 sparty04 said:

DS1 got a phone when he turned 12, I wish we could have waited longer but he was missing out on a lot of friend stuff and he's already too much of a homebody as it is. But I just wanted to say that you can still stream music with an Apple Watch. My younger two kids have one and use it primarily for music

How do you stream music on the watch? My son has an Apple Watch but has been begging for a phone mainly for listening to music.

We subscribe to Amazon music so you need whatever app you use downloaded on the watch. You basically just have to pair your account to the watch. My kids also have AirPods. Also make sure when you click on the app, you select to listen from the watch (the icon is at the top of the page for the Amazon music app, not sure on others). It took me few googles to figure it out but it's a great feature

[penguingrrl]

My 6th grader has a phone, but it’s completely locked down. No using safari, no social media (it wouldn’t be legal and we follow the legal minimum ages for that), and only family phone numbers. I would have let him have friend phone numbers this year except he has been bullied a lot at school over the past year and I don’t trust that his number will stay private once it’s out there based on how it went with my older two. He has no way to text friends at all yet because of that, so we still control his social life, which is a huge downside. We only did a phone because we got a deal that it’s $1/month for 36 months with a new line, so he got a phone for $36.