@ Another consequence to consider

[cmeon]

I worry that there aren't going to be "safe states"- birth control and abortion (including medicine induced) are all on the table for nationwide bans. I'm also concerned that they will go after blue states especially hard. I hope I'm wrong, but that's the situation we're planning for. My son was done with college apps, but he's added several international options and considering others.

[ssmjlm]

Nov 7, 2024 13:15:10 GMT -5 cmeon said:

I worry that there aren't going to be "safe states"- birth control and abortion (including medicine induced) are all on the table for nationwide bans. I'm also concerned that they will go after blue states especially hard. I hope I'm wrong, but that's the situation we're planning for. My son was done with college apps, but he's added several international options and considering others.

At this point, I don't even know if DC will be safe. That's where people went before Roe v. Wade because they're not a state and can do whatever they want. But I'm sure that will change.

[Susie]

It's definitely not insane to think about, although I'd ask DD before bringing it up to a doctor.  I think I'd have felt a little freaked out at the idea of an IUD (insertion process, pain, etc.) at 18.  Another option though, yes, and I'd have appreciated having support and choices from my mom.

My DD is only in 4th grade, but I've definitely thought about this issue.  We live in NY, so coming home for reproductive health care will be an option as long as abortion access remains with states.  That's something I want to be really open about well before leaving for college.  COME HOME if you need to.  I'd also like to see her go to college in a state where she can access abortion care if needed.  Same for my son.  Maybe even more so for my son, because I'm not as able to offer my son's girlfriends the safe harbor that I can offer my own daughter.

My mom confided in me once and only once, and we never spoke of it again, that she had an abortion as a sophomore in college.  She was on the pill and got pregnant anyway with her hometown boyfriend over winter break.  He wanted her to drop out and have the baby; instead she traveled to NYC for the abortion, broke up with him for good, graduated two years later, married my dad, got a masters, and had us a handful of years later.  All ended up as it should be, but the abject trauma it clearly wreaked on her, which came out in how she parented me, is my guidepost for how important this is to get the parenting right.

[wanderingback]

As scary as it sounds and it’s great to be prepared, a lot people have been preparing for this. It is absolutely shitty for a million reasons obviously but those that are going to be the most affected are those that are already discriminated against and marginalized.

Abortion is not going anywhere even though it might look different than what it previously looked like. Birth control options that don’t rely on a medical provider aren’t going anywhere. We’ve learned a lot from advocates and communities in other countries that have been living like this for decades. Community care will continue. Abortion pills and birth control options will remain available. It’s important to get resources and information and pass it on.

[fryjack2]

I have boys and want to look into options for boys/males.

I’ve already told them that they cannot go to college in a state that does not have abortion access for women.

Vasectomies can be reversible. They should be able to choose having one done and then reversed in the event they ever want children. Or sperm bank.

I know I sound a bit extreme, but it shouldn’t all be on women and men should be included in the options for birth control (for their bodies). condoms break, forget to be used, pills get skipped, etc. maybe men should be encouraged to have a bigger role in preventing pregnancies.

I am also very anxious as I almost died during pregnancy and don’t want anyone to unwillingly go through what I did. I also worry about administrations getting access to medical records for those who have terminated for whatever reason.

[wise_rita]

Nov 7, 2024 14:26:37 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

As scary as it sounds and it’s great to be prepared, a lot people have been preparing for this. It is absolutely shitty for a million reasons obviously but those that are going to be the most affected are those that are already discriminated against and marginalized.

Abortion is not going anywhere even though it might look different than what it previously looked like. Birth control options that don’t rely on a medical provider aren’t going anywhere. We’ve learned a lot from advocates and communities in other countries that have been living like this for decades. Community care will continue. Abortion pills and birth control options will remain available. It’s important to get resources and information and pass it on.

Thank you for saying this.  It's reassuring and comforting!

I've been seeing on SM that Plan B has a shelf life of 4 years.  Keeping a supply can never hurt.

[wanderingback]

Nov 7, 2024 15:30:05 GMT -5 fryjack2 said:

I have boys and want to look into options for boys/males.

I’ve already told them that they cannot go to college in a state that does not have abortion access for women.

Vasectomies can be reversible. They should be able to choose having one done and then reversed in the event they ever want children. Or sperm bank.

I know I sound a bit extreme, but it shouldn’t all be on women and men should be included in the options for birth control (for their bodies). condoms break, forget to be used, pills get skipped, etc. maybe men should be encouraged to have a bigger role in preventing pregnancies.

I am also very anxious as I almost died during pregnancy and don’t want anyone to unwillingly go through what I did. I also worry about administrations getting access to medical records for those who have terminated for whatever reason.

In theory vasectomies are reversible but in general they won’t be done for people who plan to reverse them (I’ve had vasectomy training although not to full competency yet). So I would not recommend a vasectomy for a young person if they do indeed want to have biological children through penis in vagina sex one day. In addition, insurance doesn’t usually cover reversals so the financial burden is there as well.

I know everyone is anxious but that doesn’t mean jumping to forcing our kids to make certain decisions.

<3

[DotAndBuzz]

Nov 7, 2024 13:15:10 GMT -5 cmeon said:

I worry that there aren't going to be "safe states"- birth control and abortion (including medicine induced) are all on the table for nationwide bans. I'm also concerned that they will go after blue states especially hard. I hope I'm wrong, but that's the situation we're planning for. My son was done with college apps, but he's added several international options and considering others.

I'm here too.

I don't know that it will matter what state laws have been passed if a national ban is enacted. Like, truly don't know. So as she's starting college searching, only applying in "blue states" won't necessarily even matter. 

Thank you all for the replies. I'm going to talk to her about it, but pills are tricky because of some other medical issues. Not impossible, just somewhat limited. 

This whole discussion just enrages me, because while I fully support our young women taking control of their reproductive healthcare, I hate that it's from a defensive position. 

[wanderingback]

Also, not to freak anyone out but we all need to talk about all options when it comes to reproductive health. Just this week have a patient in her 40s with a copper IUD who is pregnant. Have done abortions on more than 1 person who had an IUD. Nexplanon is actually more effective than all the IUD options. Abortion, specifically abortion pills, need to be part of the conversation we’re having with young people. They’re even used around the world as "period pills" so people use them if their period is late and don’t even take a pregnancy test.

So unless someone is having zero sex there is a chance for pregnancy (sterilization isn’t even 100% effective) and need to have open discussions in our relationships about all information.

[fryjack2]

wanderingback. I won’t be forcing my kids to do anything, just venting and sharing the irrational thoughts and fears I have here and not out loud in real life

I appreciate and am grateful that we have you and people like you who will always be there for those who need care.

[underwaterrhymes]

Nov 7, 2024 16:52:07 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Nov 7, 2024 15:30:05 GMT -5 fryjack2 said:

I have boys and want to look into options for boys/males.

I’ve already told them that they cannot go to college in a state that does not have abortion access for women.

Vasectomies can be reversible. They should be able to choose having one done and then reversed in the event they ever want children. Or sperm bank.

I know I sound a bit extreme, but it shouldn’t all be on women and men should be included in the options for birth control (for their bodies). condoms break, forget to be used, pills get skipped, etc. maybe men should be encouraged to have a bigger role in preventing pregnancies.

I am also very anxious as I almost died during pregnancy and don’t want anyone to unwillingly go through what I did. I also worry about administrations getting access to medical records for those who have terminated for whatever reason.

In theory vasectomies are reversible but in general they won’t be done for people who plan to reverse them (I’ve had vasectomy training although not to full competency yet). So I would not recommend a vasectomy for a young person if they do indeed want to have biological children through penis in vagina sex one day. In addition, insurance doesn’t usually cover reversals so the financial burden is there as well.

I know everyone is anxious but that doesn’t mean jumping to forcing our kids to make certain decisions.

<3

Among other things, I really appreciate your inclusive language. 💙

[cmeon]

My daughter is also considering implanon- i think the real appeal (besides the LTA) of the IUD is potentially kissing her period good riddance- she's really not a fan.

She (wisely) wants to talk to the CNM before making a decision.

I know about o-pill, what are our other non-prescription BC options? Does it vary by state? We did pick up PlanB late this summer, i will order PlanC to have on hand, too- thanks!

[wanderingback]

Nov 7, 2024 18:57:17 GMT -5 cmeon said:

My daughter is also considering implanon- i think the real appeal (besides the LTA) of the IUD is potentially kissing her period good riddance- she's really not a fan.

She (wisely) wants to talk to the CNM before making a decision.

I know about o-pill, what are our other non-prescription BC options? Does it vary by state? We did pick up PlanB late this summer, i will order PlanC to have on hand, too- thanks!

Spermicide and condoms are the only other options in the U.S. that don’t need a prescription/visit to a medical provider. Even the caya diaphragm requires a prescription. So does the gel Phexxi.

[cmeon]

Nov 7, 2024 19:13:34 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Nov 7, 2024 18:57:17 GMT -5 cmeon said:

My daughter is also considering implanon- i think the real appeal (besides the LTA) of the IUD is potentially kissing her period good riddance- she's really not a fan.

She (wisely) wants to talk to the CNM before making a decision.

I know about o-pill, what are our other non-prescription BC options? Does it vary by state? We did pick up PlanB late this summer, i will order PlanC to have on hand, too- thanks!

Spermicide and condoms are the only other options in the U.S. that don’t need a prescription/visit to a medical provider. Even the caya diaphragm requires a prescription. So does the gel Phexxi.

Thanks for always taking the time to inform and reply to questions- it really is appreciated (now even more than ever).

[sonrisa]

Nov 7, 2024 17:13:48 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Also, not to freak anyone out but we all need to talk about all options when it comes to reproductive health. Just this week have a patient in her 40s with a copper IUD who is pregnant. Have done abortions on more than 1 person who had an IUD. Nexplanon is actually more effective than all the IUD options. Abortion, specifically abortion pills, need to be part of the conversation we’re having with young people. They’re even used around the world as "period pills" so people use them if their period is late and don’t even take a pregnancy test.

So unless someone is having zero sex there is a chance for pregnancy (sterilization isn’t even 100% effective) and need to have open discussions in our relationships about all information.

Wandering: I saw someone on social media say "FYI, Plan B has a four year shelf life. Just in case you are curious. It could be on any shelf. CVS, Walgreens, your shelf. Even post menopausal shelves."

Is that expiration timeline true? If so, I'm stocking up now and spreading the word among the 8th grade and high school moms. My cis straight kid is will be 14-18 for this administration. So will her friends. (and my other kid may be forced to undergo a fem puberty.)

Thank you for being our source of wisdom. 

[Saudade]

sonrisa- yes, as long as it’s stored as directed. Check the exp date on the box when buying it.

[sadlebred]

I wonder for those of us on BCP for medical reasons (migraines and other reasons) if it will still be available...if not, menopause will be here soon I guess.

[sonrisa]

Nov 7, 2024 23:09:53 GMT -5 Saudade said:

sonrisa - yes, as long as it’s stored as directed. Check the exp date on the box when buying it.

Thank you!

[wanderingback]

Yes, plan B (and Ella, which requires a prescription but is more effective than Plan B) can last for several years. Plus the effectiveness doesn’t just automatically drop to zero right after it expires.

Also, to clarify I don’t think anyone needs to "stock up." I think mutual aid is good and if you’re planning to "stock up" plan to give it to poor people NOW. In addition, use your money to support mutual aid NOW.

If all contraceptive options are going to go away in the U.S. we will have plenty of time to prepare. The pharmaceutical industry is not going to just say "ok, we’re going to stop manufacturing these meds that bring us BILLIONS in revenue." They even stood up against the mifepristone lawsuit.

I’ll make a separate post about where people can focus their dollars now and with mutual aid. Right now upper middle class and rich people in general do not need to stock up. Yes, be prepared and have info. Yes have a dose of emergency contraception and abortion pills on hand especially if you’re in a state that bans abortion but no you don’t need to buy dozens of either right this second.

[abs]

wanderingback I cannot tell you much you have reassured me in this thread. Having a 14 year old daughter feels terrifying right now and I’ve been wondering all these same things. Thank you so much for being here for us. I appreciate it more than you could know. ❤️

[jillybean222]

Same boat and I was just thinking this!! My D is a senior and will be off to college next fall.

[sdlaura]

ITA that wanderingback’s perspective is amazing and super helpful.

On the same note - I am not a medical expert, but from the perspective of an investment professional - birth control is WAY cheaper for health insurance companies than pregnancies are. I am super skeptical that the bottom line for that huge slice of corporate America and their stockholders will take a backseat to the crazies when it comes to forming government policy. I think it makes sense to be concerned about access to abortion and gender affirming medical care, but I believe contraceptives will remain widely available.

[wanderingback]

Also, another random piece of advice I’d offer is to continue to have open conversations about sex, ALL contraceptive options and abortion. It’s great when parents are supportive and come with their teens to appointments and I always talk to teens alone, but there can also be pressure from parents to pick the most effective option like an IUD when that might not be the teens first choice. Then, teens and young people can often feel shame or guilt if they get pregnant and want to have an abortion and that their parents will kill them for being pregnant so they keep it a secret and have to navigate everything alone. So with people feeling a lot of uncertainty the best we can do for our loved ones and teens is let them know you 100% support them in their reproductive health decisions and to try to keep an open and accepting dialogue so you can be a source of support if/when needed.

[mommyatty]

I don’t know where else to put this, but I recently found Paging Dr Fran, and she has a list of over 2000 doctors who will do tubal ligations without regard to age, marital status, or number of kids. She says as long as you’re an adult who can consent to surgery, she is going to provide you the care you ask for. Obviously not an option for my 12 year old, but anyone who has young adults daughters or nieces in their 20s who do not want kids, here’s an option. I’m sending it to my niece who is 25 and is resolute in never wanting kids.

[Bernadine]

Nov 12, 2024 8:23:35 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

I don’t know where else to put this, but I recently found Paging Dr Fran, and she has a list of over 2000 doctors who will do tubal ligations without regard to age, marital status, or number of kids. She says as long as you’re an adult who can consent to surgery, she is going to provide you the care you ask for. Obviously not an option for my 12 year old, but anyone who has young adults daughters or nieces in their 20s who do not want kids, here’s an option. I’m sending it to my niece who is 25 and is resolute in never wanting kids.

I found my gyno through Dr. Fran and had my tubes removed. She’s a wonderful resource! I LOVE my new gyno!