Monday!

[mae0111]

How was the weekend?  What's up this week?

[mae0111]

We had a great weekend! Friday DD1 went to help with the middle school play. DD2 got into trouble for lying and being pretty sneaky, so she didn't go to the play. So other than picking her up, DH and I just hung out alone or with some combo of the kids on Friday evening.

Saturday I went for a long walk with my neighbor, then just tried to get a ton of housework done. I took the kids shopping for Christmas decorations, craft supplies, and wrapping supplies, which turned into them going into full-blown Christmas mode. It was cute - they really got along well and hung out for a lot of the day without issue! Then DH and I went out to dinner.

Sunday my kids had 2 sisters come over to hang out. None of the grades line up, but they're close enough in age that they all hang out well, or they can kind of split off and hang out. One of them is really struggling socially, so I think she really enjoyed hanging out. After they left, we all played a new game we just got and everyone had fun!

My house is about 50% decorated, which is 50% that I don't have to worry about. DD2 was like Buddy the Elf this weekend.

It should be a pretty quiet week. It's our anniversary today, and it's our dog's birthday (LOL) so I'll probably try to do something a little special for dinner. I had my eyes dilated this morning so I'm not really working because I can't see well. So I'm just trying to finish some of my projects around the house that don't require close-up work.

[rere]

Great weekend! I spent all my monies. I was going to surprise Dd with Uggs for Christmas. But they were $140 so I thought she should try them on. She said she didn't really need them, but throughout the day she kept talking about them and ended up walking out with them on her feet and sending me a happy dance video wearing them.

We had fun. I ate Auntie Anne's pretzels and pizza, which tells you how well I did reducing carbs for the weekend. I'm tired today.

I had performance management this morning which is my least favorite meeting. Basically just me updating and no one gives input except the director.

[sdlaura]

Saturday was just OK. DS2 (first grader) had his first ever soccer tournament. It was optional for whether the rec teams wanted to sign up for the tournament, so only the ones that had winning records chose to, so the competition was tough and the parents especially weren't used to their kids losing (I don't think the kids cared that much). Anyway, the kids lost the first game and then in the second game, DS2 was not playing goalie (though that's his favorite position and the one he's been practicing for, so I think he was still subconsciously trying to play goalie), but he ran into the net as the ball was about to hit the net and swatted it out with his hand. The ref didn't see it happen, just saw that it was not a goal, but the opposing coach screamed that DS2 had used his hand. So then DS2's coach screamed back at the other coach to calm down. So DS2 knew he had done something he wasn't supposed to, and caused the adults to start yelling at each other, so he was in tears. It actually for the purposes of the game was probably a decent move, since it was going to be a sure goal otherwise, and it turned it into a maybe goal after a penalty kick (but that went in). So the score of the game had been 0-0, but after all the melee the game went downhill and DS2's team lost 4-0. I know no one really blamed DS2 but it just wasn't a good feeling. And then right after that I took the dog to her training class and she was the worst behaved one there, and then later Saturday my friend was watching all our kids at the pool and my kids started insulting each other so she sent them home. It was hard Saturday to not feel like my kids'/dog's behavior was a reflection on me. I told DH that this is a big reason I work FT - because I intentionally keep myself too busy to obsess over stuff like that.

Anyway, yesterday was a lot better. DS2 had his final soccer tournament game and played goalie half the game and was proud of himself for several saves/not letting any goals in. DH took DD to her two softball games and she was excited because she hit well, even though her team lost both games. I actually got a lot done around the house while supervising the 3 boys, and DS1 was a sweet big brother in helping to entertain his little brothers. I had arranged for my parents to take my younger two boys at their condo for dinner so that DH, DD and I could go watch DS1's 5 pm basketball game and then go to dinner with the family of DS1's BFF after, since he's also on the team. Both families have 12-year-old girls and 10-year-old boys, so the kids all got Shake Shack across the street from where the adults had dinner and a drink at a mexican place and sort of loosely kept an eye on them. So that was a nice way to cap off the weekend.

[waverly]

My weekend was great. We winterized our yard, got some decorations up, but not the Christmas tree or outside lights. I went to church for the first time since the pandemic started. I just walked down to the local one. It's fine for me, but it isn't a great fit for the family because they lost so many parishioners, so there are zero teenagers in the congregation. DH would want to go to the church the next town over which is a great church but also not good for teens because I am not going to drive them 25 minutes to get Starbucks with kids not in their community. I may try to the one that the neighbors go to just to see if they have anything for teens.

Then I came back to work. It's been a busy morning. My one co-worker is constantly commenting and complaining. This makes it difficult for me to work because I constantly have to stop work and address her comments and complaints. We also had a complaint from the public. The complaint from the public is solely to avoid paying their bill, but the stories they have made up to avoid paying their bill are completely nonsensical. Is it selective reality? Happy Monday.

[librarychica]

We had a very busy weekend but also a good one. Friday night we had DD1’s birthday party and it was absolute chaos. I found a card from the girl down the road last night and I was like “DD was Izzy here?” “Oh yeah! She was here!” I have no recollection of seeing her, that’s how crazy it was. Kids everywhere. But they all had a great time near as I can tell.

Saturday I dropped the girls with my parents, came back for H and then we dressed up and went to a wedding. It was a lovely wedding and we had a blast. I love to dance but when we were younger H was self conscious about it now he does not care even a little (it’s still not a hobby of his but he is happy to indulge me) so we danced most of the night.

Sunday I picked the girls up, had dinner with my parents and brother, my brother was a bit of a jerk and I have been having some insomnia and was exhausted, which sent me into anxiety-appease mode last night. This is a part of my reactions I’ve been consciously working on, where when someone I love (kids and H some but mostly my mother or brother) are unhappy my instinct is to appease-fix-control. I know it is not a healthy dynamic and I’ve improved so much but last night between being short on sleep, on my period, and my brother being at an 11, it was really hard not to a)lose my temper or b)try and appease-distract-fix. Does anyone else do this? I find the instinct is strongest where I feel the most vulnerable. I do not feel vulnerable with H so rarely do I react to his unhappiness like this. We have a grown up relationship. My mom? I 100% go into fixit mode even though as I tell my kids all the time, you cannot control another person’s feelings and reactions. Those are on them. You can control how you treat people and how YOU react. That’s all.

I give good advice, lol, but I struggle to live it.

[waverly]

librarychica , I think I am more of a fixer with DH because he has a more volatile temperment. Him going to therapy and him having a less dramatic job has been very helpful because he is more calm, so I don't feel like I have to fix it. Other than that the therapist said I should not say things when he is emoting. For example, his emoting while driving (about other drivers) makes me anxious and then I say something to the effect of he needs to calm down. So basically, my therapist said since I have anxiety around the driving part, then I should talk to him about not saying anything, so we did that. And it has improved.

Also, I feel like another poster said if someone yells from another room, I don't respond, so if DH yells from the basement usually something that has annoyed him, then I just ignore him. I also told him, I don't respond to that.

My mom, I don't really try to fix her because she complains constantly, so there is no fixing possible. I can fix the entire world and be perfect, and she would find something to comment on. So I waffle between not trying at all and trying a little. Sometimes I'm the one getting annoyed or kind of blowing up because it is constant, first thing in the morning, oh DS's hair is too long, or in the afternoon when I am driving going into graphic detail about my Grandma's demise. Mom, STOP. I feel like a lot of it is setting boundaries using the words I might use at work, i.e. professional.

For example, the new church that I went to tried to force me to give the greeter a hug. Back off lady, like I've literally never met you. Hugging in a professional setting is not professional. It's great you are being inclusive but then do the handshake thing or the pat the arm thing. No need for full on hugs. A lot is boundaries, and I am really working on setting them with better wording.

My SIL is super aggressive and it will just come out whenever she feels like it.  It does cause me some anxiety, but luckily I won't see her at Thanksgiving, and fingers crossed hoping to skip Christmas with her also.  It's just too much aggression.  

[sdlaura]

librarychica and waverly I also do that most often with DH. As we had more kids I realized that there were too many people to try to keep happy all the time and he is a grown-up who should be able to control/respond to his own emotions, and I decided to stop doing that. It has mostly worked. I try to do my best in terms of planning our schedules and lives so that he doesn't get overwhelmed, especially since I know he's a homebody. But that doesn't mean his life is stress free, and he has to ask me for help/explain what he's feeling if he gets stressed out. It's still a work in progress to convince the kids that they don't need to act differently around him when he's pissy.

[twinmomma]

Our weekend was jam packed but really good overall. I scrambled to get a work project out the door on Saturday morning before the final Fedex pickup and was feeling super stressed about it. Like, texting people at work to get me final numbers to insert into the report minutes before the deadline level of stressed. So on my way home I grabbed a drink from Starbucks and DH took the kids to the park for an hour so I could decompress in a quiet house. That put me in a much better headspace for the rest of the day.

DH and I had a great time at our hockey game on Saturday. So much laughter and genuine fun. We really needed a night out like that together. And then on Sunday the girls and I went to see &Juliet and it was amazing! It was such an energetic, upbeat show. Everyone in the audience was cheering and having a great time, lots of dancing along.

Today I had a doctor's appointment to follow up on my neck pain. It's gotten better, but it's still a sharp shooting pain in one spot that gives me headaches. They think it's an issue with the nerve and gave me a prescription for nerve pain meds that I can try while I wait to get in with a doctor who can do an injection. Ugh.

This week is annual planning, so I'm in all day meetings for most of the week. After my call with my boss last week, I'm kind of stuck between wanting to give it my all like usual, and phoning it in and being annoyed. I hope I get inspired as the week goes on.

[mommyatty]

It was a nice weekend. We just had our normal kid activities. And I took a super long nap on Sunday.

I feel like I’m never going to shake whatever nonsense I have. It’s maddening, but I’ve seen multiple doctors, finished antibiotics, and I’m still in about the same shape with congestion and a cough.

At work, I have people in from Great Britain this week. They were on their own today but I’ll go into the office the next two days to see them.

[186momx]

I've had a Monday. I meet a client onsite today which is something we don't do a lot of and have 2 hours of the middle of my day missing just let me feeling very frazzled. I also had my health insurance meeting this morning and the stupid ACA site was down so now I have to try and get logged in to approve my ACA help of ZERO because they didn't believe the insurance people.

Weekend was meh. Tax seminar was fine but we don't fiel estates and trusts which was the topic and it was geared as baby steps to taxes after death. I was able to follow along until lunch but after lunch her examples made no sense as I don't know the 1041 like I do the 1040. The afternoon dragged on. Dh was busy doing his woodworking hobby and I had to tell him to stop both Saturday night and Sunday morning as I couldn't take the house vibrating due to the bandsaw. This of course pissed him off big time. He was also pissed off by me making hotel reservations for Friday/Saturday of next week and that I have no plans to do tourist crap and that if he wanted to hike/golf/etc he needed to drive himself. He told me I was lazy and all I do is nothing (2 loads of laundry, grocery shopping, vacuuming, meal prepping, and dishes/dinner), I guess is nothing because we didn't go and do any of his fun time intensive hobbies, GRR.

[supertrooper1]

I'm back to work today after a 4-day weekend. I took Friday off to go to DS's first middle school choir concert and then had lunch with my mom. Saturday Beau and I checked out a restaurant in Canada that he and his family used to go to a lot years ago and had been great. We were disappointed in the food but we agreed that it's fun to hop across the border and check out new cuisines that we don't have in our small town. We also checked out a huge arcade with go karts that neither of us had been to in 15+ years since we had been talking about taking DS and his grandson. With the exchange rate it makes it a better deal for us than doing that stuff in the U.S, so one of these days we'll take the boys.

Sunday was football and grocery shopping. Monday, we went out to breakfast and then headed towards a bigger mall closer to Seattle. I did a little Christmas shopping and found some shirts and a new purse for myself. We made a mistake by going to a car dealership and I fell in love with a new car. Now I have to decide whether I want to take on a car payment and dip into my house down payment fund, or keep my perfectly fine 11 year old vehicle that has been paid off for 5 years.  It doesn't look like we'll be buying a house any time soon with the way interest rates are and home prices that don't appear they will fall in my area.