6 weeks after abortion...

[ravenb1111]

So some of you might know my back story some might not.. Anyways I had an abortion 6 weeks ago on Monday(worst choice for me ever!) and I just took a test for I don't even know why.. It came out positive.. I would think by week 6 the levels would be low that it wouldn't read on a at home test? I have had sex unprotected.. But he didn't finish in me (not that it matters I know) I'd actually be really happy if I was pregnant.. So I guess my question is,if I was for real pregant would they be able to tell because my levels are messed up from before And because I'd be under or around a month would it make it harder for them to tell what's "real" if you get what I'm trying to say.

[beebeeeater]

I don't know your back story...why did you have the abortion? And why would you be having unprotected sex less than a month after the procedure?

[ravenb1111]

May 19, 2012 17:07:10 GMT -5 beebeeeater said:

I don't know your back story...why did you have the abortion? And why would you be having unprotected sex less than a month after the procedure?

Long story short found out I was pregnant, major changes happened within a week after finding out.. From the bf having to move, to major bm drama, to finding out friens having cancer (not that this should have played a major roll) but it added on to my already emotional state I was in and I made the choice I thought was best for me and my relationship. And now that I can see without so much haze everything would and will be fine. We'd be very happy if we would have a kid, so please try and not to judge.. I'm still dealing with a decision that is hard for me to cope with because I knew the second it was over, It wasn't right. (for me)

[ravenb1111]

May 19, 2012 17:18:07 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

I think you need some counseling if you aren't already going.

I'm finding therapy around my area for people who have had abortions and regret thier decision.. And without sounding like a bitch to anybody,I'd just love if somebody could maybe give me an answer and not judge me, because for anybody,who never had an abortion, will never know what it's like to deal with it, when you know you made the wrong choice.. Some people are fine, buy they were 150% sure.. And I thought I was.. So sorry if this comes of bitchy, I'm just looking for answers untill my doctor opens Monday

[miss1991]

If your test is positive it's a good possibilty that you still have level's of HCG in your system. You need to go to the DR. and maybe talk to them and see what is going on they maybe able to do a u/s to check and see if everything was taken out from the abortion.

Please look into what chilerellanos said also. Good Luck to you!

[ravenb1111]

May 19, 2012 17:25:27 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

I wasn't judging. I just think it would be helpful.

I wasn't directing to you.. Just in general.. And you know Internet tone can get out of control

[PinkSquirrel]

I would check with your doctor. I have no idea about the hormone levels.

Please try not to beat yourself up over having made what you thought was the best choice for you at the time because really, that's what it sounds like it was. I would recommend a traditional therapist rather than going to someone who "specializes in people that regret their abortions." They are typically people the are anti abortion rights for everyone because sometimes people regret their decision. It doesn't sound like you feel that way. A traditional therapist should be able to help you work through your feelings. I'm really sorry you're struggling with your decision

[ravenb1111]

May 19, 2012 17:27:38 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

It is possible that they didn't remove all of the products of conception, and you may need to go back in.

Yea.. But when they did the u/s right after they were like it's really clean..

[vanillacourage]

Unless you had the unprotected sex 2 weeks or less after the abortion, it's likely leftover hormones. Otherwise you wouldn't be far enough out from ovulation + luteal phase (i.e. two week wait) to test positive.

And yeah...when I had a miscarriage and had to have a D&C, which is technically an abortion, my OB told me no sex or any other penetration for at least four weeks to avoid the risk of infection. I'd call your OB to ask about the hormone levels and also if you need to be checked internally.

[ravenb1111]

May 19, 2012 17:37:33 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

I remember your backstory. I think counseling would also be very helpful in your situation. And please stop having unprotected sex, especially so soon after the procedure. Was this cleared by your doctor?

I was told two weeks.. I don't just run around having unprotected sex, only with my bf.. And not every bf.. It's only With this one.. But I understand what your saying.

[missbetty1]

You're probably pregnant again, but definitey call your doctor.

[Muddled]

Have you had a period since your abortion?

[ravenb1111]

May 19, 2012 18:12:12 GMT -5 Muddled said:

Have you had a period since your abortion?

No.. But they said 6 weeks

[shopgirl07]

You're pregnant. And they will be able to tell by your levels, they will not be "messed up". Go to the doctor and get a test and then start to get your life together.

[ravenb1111]

May 19, 2012 18:05:28 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

May 19, 2012 17:51:29 GMT -5 @ravenb1111 said:

I was told two weeks.. I don't just run around having unprotected sex, only with my bf.. And not every bf.. It's only With this one.. But I understand what your saying.

Oh, I didn't assume you were out partying it up with multiple men or anything, lol.. I just think it would be a good idea to protect yourself against entering into another situation that could lead to where you were 6 weeks ago.

I understand how regretful you are now about your abortion (well, no, I don't, I've never had one myself) but please try to remember that there was a reason why you decided to go thru with it. Everything you listed in your original post on the nest was a very valid reason as to why this time in your life wasn't right for a baby.

I've had a few friends that have gone thru abortions, some are totally fine and some regretted it immediately after. And everyone that regretted it eventually healed with time, counseling and reminding themselves that they made the best decision at that time in their lives. Not to say that they're completely over it, but the pain has faded, they've gone thru the healing process and they are not feeling enormous guilt over the memory.

It's very hard, but you'll heal too. Allow yourself your emotions, but be gentle with yourself. You did what you thought was best, and that's all any of us can ever really do.

Oh ok, just wanted to clarify.. And your so write.. It's so hard to forgive when you hate what you did everyday.. It's do draining

[ravenb1111]

May 19, 2012 17:38:52 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Also, if you're not pregnant, and this is indeed residual, please please get your emotions in order before you get pregnant.

Agreed.. for sure

[ravenb1111]

May 19, 2012 18:43:30 GMT -5 shopgirl07 said:

You're pregnant. And they will be able to tell by your levels, they will not be "messed up". Go to the doctor and get a test and then start to get your life together.

I didnt mean messed up like they will never be back in track.. I ment like they could be low because my body's finally getting back to normal after the abortion or it could be low because I could be 4 weeks.. That's what I ment..would they be able to tell.. But like the one lady said getting test week from each other will show.

[Deleted]

So,youd be really happy if you were happy now, but you werent 6 weeks ago?
You say so much in this statement that only a professional can help you with. Seriously you have so many things to work out and need to take care of all of them before you decide to b ring a baby into this world.
I hope you are not pregnant, for many reasons. I hope you can reflect deeper inside yourself and I hope you learn to realize you DID do the right thing.

[ravenb1111]

May 20, 2012 7:01:24 GMT -5 mags said:

So,youd be really happy if you were happy now, but you werent 6 weeks ago?
You say so much in this statement that only a professional can help you with. Seriously you have so many things to work out and need to take care of all of them before you decide to b ring a baby into this world.
I hope you are not pregnant, for many reasons. I hope you can reflect deeper inside yourself and I hope you learn to realize you DID do the right thing.

No, i was very happy when I found out I was pregnant but literally things were changing overnight,which made us question, if then was a right time.. And I'm happy now with things in my life, besides having to make that decision.. So if I were to be pregnant,yes I'd be happy (is that a bad thing?) If I wasn't, I'd still be ok... Because even if I was, it doesn't heal the pain from me deciding to not keep the other one. Regardless I have to work through that, I understand that.

[geekgirl]

Have you considered waiting until your relationship with your BOYFRIEND is a little more permanent? Please remember, if this person isn't right for you to marry, then that person is certainly not someone to have a child with. A marriage can be broken and left in the dust.... A child binds you together forever. See what I'm saying here?

Get yourself some BC and give yourself some time to emotionally heal, wait until you are in a more stable place in life. You also mentioned "bm" in one of your first posts. So, this guy has a history of knocking up women without any other sort of commitment or what? Please, PLEASE get some counseling for yourself to help you figure out if you are on the right path.

[zitiqueen]

Birth mom! I was thinking bowel movement.

[ravenb1111]

May 20, 2012 11:09:23 GMT -5 geekgirl said:

Have you considered waiting until your relationship with your BOYFRIEND is a little more permanent? Please remember, if this person isn't right for you to marry, then that person is certainly not someone to have a child with. A marriage can be broken and left in the dust.... A child binds you together forever. See what I'm saying here?

Get yourself some BC and give yourself some time to emotionally heal, wait until you are in a more stable place in life. You also mentioned "bm" in one of your first posts. So, this guy has a history of knocking up women without any other sort of commitment or what? Please, PLEASE get some counseling for yourself to help you figure out if you are on the right path.

I take offense to this actually.. No my boyfriend does not have a history of 'knocking women up' his child is 10.. Yes he had a child when he was very young but he is a great father and there for his child every step of the way, he wasn't even thinking of having another child untill we got together and it wasn't like 6 months or a year in, and we were like "let's have a kid".. It's been over 2 and half years. And I don't want to get married, never have.. Not saying I wouldn't but marriage has never been something i felt like I need to complete in my life or be the "next step". Our relationship is stable as in our commitment to our relationship, each other, and on the same path with our goals, and financial descions.. Every realthionshio has its up and downs and yes we can not control how is childs mother acts from time to time. We do the best we can. So please don't make such assumptions.

[shopgirl07]

Yes, they will be able to tell if you're pregnant by your levels! That's what I was trying to say. If you're getting a positive pregnancy test from "residuals" (which I doubt 6 weeks later), your hcg levels will be like 5. A viable pregnancy will be in the hundreds early on.

[ravenb1111]

May 20, 2012 14:10:44 GMT -5 shopgirl07 said:

Yes, they will be able to tell if you're pregnant by your levels! That's what I was trying to say. If you're getting a positive pregnancy test from "residuals" (which I doubt 6 weeks later), your hcg levels will be like 5. A viable pregnancy will be in the hundreds early on.

This is all I wanted to know.. Thank you so much!

[imoan]

I'm not judging you. I'm soooo pro choice. But sweetie (this is not said condescendingly)... You really need to get some help before you bring a child into this world. I think it would be so beneficial to you to go to therapy and get your head straight before you start making life changing decisions. And this means stopping with the unprotected sex until you're head is in a better space. Good luck!

[geekgirl]

May 20, 2012 11:34:41 GMT -5 @ravenb1111 said:

May 20, 2012 11:09:23 GMT -5 geekgirl said:

Have you considered waiting until your relationship with your BOYFRIEND is a little more permanent? Please remember, if this person isn't right for you to marry, then that person is certainly not someone to have a child with. A marriage can be broken and left in the dust.... A child binds you together forever. See what I'm saying here?

Get yourself some BC and give yourself some time to emotionally heal, wait until you are in a more stable place in life. You also mentioned "bm" in one of your first posts. So, this guy has a history of knocking up women without any other sort of commitment or what? Please, PLEASE get some counseling for yourself to help you figure out if you are on the right path.

I take offense to this actually.. No my boyfriend does not have a history of 'knocking women up' his child is 10.. Yes he had a child when he was very young but he is a great father and there for his child every step of the way, he wasn't even thinking of having another child untill we got together and it wasn't like 6 months or a year in, and we were like "let's have a kid".. It's been over 2 and half years. And I don't want to get married, never have.. Not saying I wouldn't but marriage has never been something i felt like I need to complete in my life or be the "next step". Our relationship is stable as in our commitment to our relationship, each other, and on the same path with our goals, and financial descions.. Every realthionshio has its up and downs and yes we can not control how is childs mother acts from time to time. We do the best we can. So please don't make such assumptions.

I'm OK with you being offended by this, actually. It gave me the answers I needed. And I'm going to be honest, by your other posts, you sound really young. My point being is that if everything about your relationship were so certain, a pregnancy shouldn't make you freak out (I am in no way commenting on your decision, just the thought process). If your relationship were as stable as you claim, this would have barely been a blip on your radar, regardless of other, outside factors.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time right now. Please talk to someone to help you get into a better place regarding your decision.

[vanillacourage]

May 20, 2012 14:48:04 GMT -5 geekgirl said:

If your relationship were as stable as you claim, this would have barely been a blip on your radar, regardless of other, outside factors.

And I take offense to this. Plenty of people in perfectly stable relationships, who are financially secure and otherwise mature, decide that it's not the right time for them to become parents. And trust me, as the mom of a newborn and a preschooler, kids are always way more than a blip on the radar even under perfect circumstances.

[imoan]

Yeah Geek... I have to disagree with you. I'm in a very happy marriage... And yes, I would be freaked about a pregnancy. Especially an unplanned one... But I can guarantee you that even if/when we start trying and I get that BFP, I'll be freaked the fuck out. Good relationships don't make kids any less of a huge, life-changing, scary event. Having a healthy relationship just makes it a little easier to work through that fear.

[geekgirl]

May 20, 2012 15:19:37 GMT -5 imoan said:

Yeah Geek... I have to disagree with you. I'm in a very happy marriage... And yes, I would be freaked about a pregnancy. Especially an unplanned one... But I can guarantee you that even if/when we start trying and I get that BFP, I'll be freaked the fuck out. Good relationships don't make kids any less of a huge, life-changing, scary event. Having a healthy relationship just makes it a little easier to work through that fear.

Oh, yeah, the BFP is cause to freak the fuck out - even if you ARE trying. That's not what I meant. The OP mentioned that her BF moving and the birth mother were issues that concerned her. WTF does the BM have to do with anything regarding your decision to have a child? And if this relationship is so strong, the possibility of the BF moving shouldn't be an issue, either - if they already live together, one would assume they'd be moving together, yes?

[ravenb1111]

May 20, 2012 14:48:04 GMT -5 geekgirl said:

May 20, 2012 11:34:41 GMT -5 @ravenb1111 said:

I take offense to this actually.. No my boyfriend does not have a history of 'knocking women up' his child is 10.. Yes he had a child when he was very young but he is a great father and there for his child every step of the way, he wasn't even thinking of having another child untill we got together and it wasn't like 6 months or a year in, and we were like "let's have a kid".. It's been over 2 and half years. And I don't want to get married, never have.. Not saying I wouldn't but marriage has never been something i felt like I need to complete in my life or be the "next step". Our relationship is stable as in our commitment to our relationship, each other, and on the same path with our goals, and financial descions.. Every realthionshio has its up and downs and yes we can not control how is childs mother acts from time to time. We do the best we can. So please don't make such assumptions.

I'm OK with you being offended by this, actually. It gave me the answers I needed. And I'm going to be honest, by your other posts, you sound really young. My point being is that if everything about your relationship were so certain, a pregnancy shouldn't make you freak out (I am in no way commenting on your decision, just the thought process). If your relationship were as stable as you claim, this would have barely been a blip on your radar, regardless of other, outside factors.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time right now. Please talk to someone to help you get into a better place regarding your decision.

I'm really not that young.. The fact that my bf moved and is taking care of his father played a huge role and the fact his father cant be around babies because if he does get sick, he could die..but i don't need to put every detail on here to make it sound like It wasn't some childish stuff, oh well. His dad is something we have to factor in now. You can keep your thoughts to yourself.