6 weeks after abortion...

[ravenb1111]

May 20, 2012 18:03:39 GMT -5 geekgirl said:

May 20, 2012 15:19:37 GMT -5 imoan said:

Yeah Geek... I have to disagree with you. I'm in a very happy marriage... And yes, I would be freaked about a pregnancy. Especially an unplanned one... But I can guarantee you that even if/when we start trying and I get that BFP, I'll be freaked the fuck out. Good relationships don't make kids any less of a huge, life-changing, scary event. Having a healthy relationship just makes it a little easier to work through that fear.

Oh, yeah, the BFP is cause to freak the fuck out - even if you ARE trying. That's not what I meant. The OP mentioned that her BF moving and the birth mother were issues that concerned her. WTF does the BM have to do with anything regarding your decision to have a child? And if this relationship is so strong, the possibility of the BF moving shouldn't be an issue, either - if they already live together, one would assume they'd be moving together, yes?

I don't know, maybe the fact he had to move and leave his child behind untill they( him and his childs mother) get a schedule in place and keep with it, does play a role. And if a child mothers isnt fond of him(my bf) having a relationship, throwing another child into the mix only further complicates thing, with her side comments of 'starting a new family' ' don't need to send out our child down if your trying to have a replacement child' not everybody allows other people to be happy and move on on there life. So yes by what she does with their child plays a roll into our decisions


5/21 I really need to proof read when typing mad and on my phone because that first response made no sense.. Sorry

[ravenb1111]

I'm done explaining anything.. I asked a question and to people who general cared thanks.. And to the people who can't see past with how things are, I only hope you never have to deal with anything that will shake your life and make you put people infront of yourself.

[ravenb1111]

May 20, 2012 19:12:42 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

May 20, 2012 19:08:52 GMT -5 @ravenb1111 said:

I don't maybe the fact he had to move and leave his child behind untill they get a schedule in place.. And if a child mothers isnt fond of him having a relationship, throughing another child into the mix only further complicates things with side comment of 'starting a new family' ' don't need to send out child down if your trying to have a replacement child' not everybody allows other people to be happy and move on on there life. So yes by what she does with their child affects.. Him.. And me..

What?!

What? Does this make sense? Im saying he had to move and now his child mother is not sticking with what was planned.. And if you think what she does with their kid doesn't effect our life then People are wrong.. Everything effects everything.. And she knows tgat she can do certian things to shake things up. Do you get what I'm saying..

[ravenb1111]

May 20, 2012 19:15:40 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

May 20, 2012 19:13:17 GMT -5 @ravenb1111 said:

I'm done explaining anything.. I asked a question and to people who general cared thanks.. And to the people who can't see past with how things are, I only hope you never have to deal with anything that will shake your life and make you put people infront of yourself.

I'm pretty sure every body has been put in a shitty situation, and while it may not be YOUR same situation, don't discount our life experiences.

I'm not, that's not what I ment but I feel like someone people are discrediting mine or me because they feel like they are just reading words and making assumptions and that's not right.. I didn't ask for relationship advice.. I asked a question

[offbeatmama]

It can take 8+ weeks for the hormone levels to drop down to zero again. Or it could take 2 weeks. Every woman and every situation is different. I'd call your OB or even primary care provider. They will monitor your HCG levels. You'll do one test then go back after 2 days for another. If they drop or stay the same then it's likely residual. If they increase then you're likely pregnant. If you're not pregnant then they will likely monitor your levels once a week or so to make sure they go back down to zero.

[Muddled]

Here's the thing. If you never had a period since your D&C, there's a good chance you are not pregnant. You should call your doc. They may need to go in again. Either way, they can tell you what is going on with your body.

Are you one of those people that does the same thing over and over and expects different results?

Why oh why are you not using some form of BC? You JUST had an unintended pregnancy and an abortion which you regret. Why are you not preventing more of this?

[Deleted]

I wasn't going to weigh in on this, but here goes:

On Point:
Please go to your doctor. They are the ONLY way you can figure this out. Your levels this "soon" after a termination may cause a POAS. My aunt had a miscarriage, four months later her levels still hadn't leveled themselves out. And in all honesty? You could be really sick, and you may not even know it. If there is any thing left in there, it can get infected and cause you some serious problems. So, don't rely on a stupid home test. Go to your doctor ASAP. At the very least, if you are pregnant again, you'll know for sure.

Off Point:

Please, if your life is stable, keep it that way.
No babies.
Just don't.
You may want them now, you may have regret now, but the fact you made the choice and openly admit that your life is super hectic non-relationship wise, really makes it sound like a child just isn't for you at this time. There is nothing wrong with that.
However,
use birth control.
That is the BEST way to make sure you don't have to make the decision again.

[starryfish]

May 21, 2012 9:35:57 GMT -5 @thepaingame said:

I wasn't going to weigh in on this, but here goes:

On Point:
Please go to your doctor. They are the ONLY way you can figure this out. Your levels this "soon" after a termination may cause a POAS. My aunt had a miscarriage, four months later her levels still hadn't leveled themselves out. And in all honesty? You could be really sick, and you may not even know it. If there is any thing left in there, it can get infected and cause you some serious problems. So, don't rely on a stupid home test. Go to your doctor ASAP. At the very least, if you are pregnant again, you'll know for sure.

Off Point:

Please, if your life is stable, keep it that way.
No babies.
Just don't.
You may want them now, you may have regret now, but the fact you made the choice and openly admit that your life is super hectic non-relationship wise, really makes it sound like a child just isn't for you at this time. There is nothing wrong with that.
However,
use birth control.
That is the BEST way to make sure you don't have to make the decision again.

This. Very well said

[imoan]

I'd suggest not posting on an internet message board for advice if you believe that nobody has any right to comment on your life. Find a friend and talk about this abortion situation. If you post something so personal on the world wide web... you're going to have to expect to get some comment on your actions.

[achase123]

May 20, 2012 19:37:11 GMT -5 @ravenb1111 said:

May 20, 2012 19:15:40 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

I'm pretty sure every body has been put in a shitty situation, and while it may not be YOUR same situation, don't discount our life experiences.

I'm not, that's not what I ment but I feel like someone people are discrediting mine or me because they feel like they are just reading words and making assumptions and that's not right.. I didn't ask for relationship advice.. I asked a question

You can't pick and choose what people are going to comment on/judge when you post on a public message board, especially when you've made less than stellar decisions.

You might not have asked for relationship advice but many ladies on this board have a lot of wisdom to offer in that area. If you want to take it, you might thank them later, if you don't, just ignore the comments that don't directly pertain to your question.

[ravenb1111]

May 21, 2012 10:51:06 GMT -5 imoan said:

I'd suggest not posting on an internet message board for advice if you believe that nobody has any right to comment on your life. Find a friend and talk about this abortion situation. If you post something so personal on the world wide web... you're going to have to expect to get some comment on your actions.

Which I honestly wouldnt have minded if they have answerd the question first. I know with this topic, people will for sure have something to say but why just go in on somebody and not answer thier question first?

[gozf]

Look, I'm not judging your choice to terminate that pregnancy -- and I don't see that anyone else has, either. This isn't a judge-y board, but when people see red flags or potential problems, they point them out in a supportive way. No need to get in a snit about it.