Should we cancel? Carmel...

[Deleted]

Please excuse, I'm a pile of hormones right now.

We are scheduled to be in Carmel, CA Friday through Tuesday. For our FIRST vacation alone together in 5 years, since becoming parents. We splurged, and this is the nicest hotel we've ever booked.

Then...unplanned pregnancy. I'm about 6 weeks. Nauseated. And possibly on the verge of a miscarriage. Heartbeat Monday was 91, which is grey area for viability. Could be fine.

Can't drink wine. :-( No sushi, oysters, and really...my appetite is hit or miss so who knows if I'll feel like more than saltines. Here's a biggie -- no massages. The spa (and most) won't touch a girl in her first trimester because of our sue-happy country. There is no actual risk, and my God, was I looking forward to a massage or two. I don't enjoy mani's, pedi's, facials...massage is where it's at for me to relax.

Fine, whatever, I was focusing on just enjoying the outdoors and being away from the kids.

Temp in Carmel this week? 93 degrees. Then it drops 40 degrees before Friday and will never reach above low 50's the entire length of our stay.

Here in STL, 50 degrees doesn't phase me, we still go for walks, hit the playground, etc. Not a big deal. But my vision of spending every waking minute relaxing in the sun, reading on a blanket on the beach, etc. is a little off. No more sunrise yoga at the top of the hill, it will be 40 degrees or lower in the mornings. No dining outdoors in the evenings.

Add to this I've weaned off of the Lexapro I was dearly dependent on to function (anxiety) and am light on caffeine. I am a moody bitch and have no sex drive, so it's not like lazing around in bed all vacation holds much appeal.

This trip seems doomed. But if we don't go now, will be at least 2 years (assuming this pregnancy continues) before we'll be in a position to go away alone again for more than a quick weekend, with breastfeeding and all that crap.

As I said, please excuse. I'm clearly in a funk. So, what say you, is Carmel just the thing to blow me out of this funk, even if I need a winter coat in for our morning hikes? It's just such a different picture I had.

I realize I sound like an entitled brat right now, and I'm not proud of that. This was a long time coming, and my ability to cope with minor disappointments is a little hindered right now.

Would you cancel, or scramble for a last-minute change of plans? New Orleans is expecting sun and 70's during our allotted time...

[emilyinchile]

Personally, I would cancel. Carmel is a beautiful place even in cooler weather, but it just sounds like you're going to be spending a lot of money for something that's not what you wanted.

I wouldn't, however, give up on the weekend overall. I'd do a last minute trip somewhere else, even if it's somewhere less exciting and less fancy, so that you still get the getaway without "ruining" your dream Carmel trip. Carmel will still be there in a couple of years, and you can do it then, but now it sounds like going away for the weekend somewhere else would be very welcome.

[Brit]

Oct 3, 2012 9:44:33 GMT -5 emilyinchile said:

Personally, I would cancel. Carmel is a beautiful place even in cooler weather, but it just sounds like you're going to be spending a lot of money for something that's not what you wanted.

I wouldn't, however, give up on the weekend overall. I'd do a last minute trip somewhere else, even if it's somewhere less exciting and less fancy, so that you still get the getaway without "ruining" your dream Carmel trip. Carmel will still be there in a couple of years, and you can do it then, but now it sounds like going away for the weekend somewhere else would be very welcome.

Emily nailed it. You're not into that trip right now. If you can change your plans without losing a ton of money on it, go somewhere else!

[osumelissa]

Ditto Emily.

[osumelissa]

Also if you are in a funk, I probably wouldn't recommend New Orleans. You might not be in the mood to deal with drunkies on Bourbon Street.

You should check to see if there are last minute deals to somewhere warmer --- maybe Key West, Marco Island (Florida), or something like that?

[Tacocat]

If you cancel the trip do you lose any money? I agree that it sounds like you won't enjoy it, so maybe look into other locations. San Diego? Miami?

[Deleted]

I thought that massages were a no-no because they release toxins in the body that aren't good for 1st tri? Not because people get sued. Most places offer pre-natal massages for later term.

The only reason you listed that would give me hesitation is your health concern. Even if you go to New Orleans, you won't have the beach, sunrise yoga. You can eat, but again limited since you cant drink, no raw food. I would either cancel altogether or go to Carmel and focus on the positives.

[anna7602]

Oct 3, 2012 11:38:52 GMT -5 Tacocat said:

If you cancel the trip do you lose any money?

This. We went ahead and did a vacation this summer that seemed doomed once the babysitting was cancelled. The big motivator to do the running of the bulls with a child in tow was that I would be completely out the outrageous amount of money I had already paid for a hotel room months before. If I wasn't in a position to lose that much $, we would have rescheduled the whole thing to a future date when we could enjoy it the way we originally intended.

[emilyinchile]

Oct 3, 2012 11:43:23 GMT -5 @missy1 said:

The only reason you listed that would give me hesitation is your health concern. Even if you go to New Orleans, you won't have the beach, sunrise yoga. You can eat, but again limited since you cant drink, no raw food. I would either cancel altogether or go to Carmel and focus on the positives.

You can go to other places than New Orleans and do things that aren't focused on drinking and raw food though. I am kind of confused as to why you keep talking about NOLA, actually.

From STL you do a city break in Chicago pretty easily if you haven't done that million times before, or I'm sure there are other decent last minute deals to places where the focus is on walking around, eating good (pregnancy-allowed) food, seeing museums, etc.

As far as losing money, I was assuming that if you're thinking of cancelling you won't lose money just because otherwise I don't think it make sense. If you have non-refundable plane tickets or reservations, then I'd still go...you're paying the money, might as well get something out of it even if it's not what you'd expected.