Post by jaksmom8808 on Oct 6, 2012 10:07:51 GMT -5
Bf has this friend that after last night is now an ex friend. He told me that this particular friend has issues with him getting serious with someone because it means his friend will be the last unmarried guy in the group. However, the guy is a total player with no intention of settling down.
Last night ds and I had dinner over his parents. Bf invited his friend to make up for blowing him off the last few weeks. We had plans after dinner for bf to watch ds while I caught up homework. When I sit down for dinner, his friend says in a matter of fact way, I'm taking bf out tonight. Bf had already had half a bottle of wine so I knew it was a bad idea plus we had plans. I was kind of put on the spot so I felt like I couldn't say no. Bf was a little upset I didnt say no plus his friend just pushes til he gets his way. Long story short his friend put bf in a corner to choose him or me. Bf of course chose me. Then we discovered multiple things happened:
Bf was upset and drove around for a few mins which I understood. While he was gone, the friend took bfs phone sent me texts saying kiss my ass, highjacked his Facebook with a status saying " I just got raped up the ass and think I'll turn gay", then left a voicemail around 3 am trashed calling him names and putting down his job.
I've never seen a grown man act like this before. I'm pretty sure ds can take being told no better than this 28 yr old and he's 4.
Post by imalwaysme79 on Oct 6, 2012 11:07:25 GMT -5
His friend is an ass. I'm happy your bf was able to see that, and chose not to go out with him when he already had plans with you. I agree with Blue, he's going to end up being a very lonely man if he continues to do that.
"Everything happens for a reason, people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together." ~Marilyn Monroe
1. The friend sounds like a peach 2. Your BF shouldn't be ditching his friends for you...I hate when people drop their friends for a SO. And he's been "blowing him off for weeks"? He doesn't sound like a very good friend himself 3. He drove after drinking?? And everyone let him???
What? Couldn't BF say no himself? BF wanted you to tell HIS friend that BF couldn't go out?
Yes, the friend is a total ass but unless I misread what you posted, BF needs to grow up.
I agree. Plus, why was your BF driving around if he drank half a bottle of wine?
Drinking & driving= Klassy :N: ^o)
Man, you find some real winners. BF looked at you to tell his friend no you couldn't go out, are you his mommy? Moreso, why is your BF putting you in the position to take the fall and look like the "twatbag gf who won't let me go out".
2. Your BF shouldn't be ditching his friends for you...I hate when people drop their friends for a SO.
THIS is my biggest peeve. I can understand wanting to spend time with your SO, but you aren't married nor attached at the hip. A healthy relationship is not what this is sounding like right now.
1) he wasn't drunk by any means but I didn't want him going out to drink more with this guy because he would have been trashed.
Huh??? You're his gf not his mom. Who cares if he went out and got trashed? He's a grown up and can make that call on his own.
I know this. I never said he couldn't but did voice my concern over the situation. He can make choices and this guy has a horrible influence. After last night this is no longer an issue.
His other friends I like and have no reservation about him going out with them.
Post by bullygirl979 on Oct 6, 2012 13:28:53 GMT -5
My thoughts on the subject:
1) I think it is kind of crappy of your BF to have his friend over for dinner with you guys to "make up" for ditching him. If they are friends then your BF should make time for him including time for just the 2 of them. I would be pissed if one of my friends blew me off for weeks then wanted me to get together with her and her SO. If I am important to you then make the time to continue a relationship!
2) I think it is ridiculous that your BF was upset that YOU didn't say no to his friend. He is a grown man, FFS. Yeah, friend is pushy but give me a break. Grow up, say no and stop making you act like the "debbie downer" girlfriend.
3) If this guy is "forceful and aggressive" then why is your BF friends with him to begin with?!
Yeah, I'm not too impressed by this story either. Your BF's friend behaved wildly inappropriate (lemme guess, alcohol), but I get why he's pissed off. He's upset that his friend has ditched him to play house. I don't understand why you aren't more pissed at your BF too. He set you up to be the bad guy. And then he left you two alone so he could blow off steam? What?
The yellow flags are waving here - was your BF a frequent pub crawler with this friend before you came into the picture? Does he think it's NBD to down a half bottle of wine before babysitting? Or driving? Does he have issues controlling how much he drinks when he's around other people? Are you happy playing the Bitch Girlfriend role from here on out? Does he need to blow off steam behind the wheel often?
I couldn't date a guy susceptible to "bad influences" and who cannot fight his own battles. It does not speak well of him and will present nothing but problems in the future. I'm worried that you've decided to settle here and that you've moved so fast that you can't see it.
Never once have I seen this chick make a good decision when it comes to men. Makes you wonder what she is like IRL if she's constantly dating the loser of the month. OP, you seem needy to be in ANY relationship... Good or bad and that's not healthy at all.
1. The friend sounds like a peach 2. Your BF shouldn't be ditching his friends for you...I hate when people drop their friends for a SO. And he's been "blowing him off for weeks"? He doesn't sound like a very good friend himself 3. He drove after drinking?? And everyone let him???
Never once have I seen this chick make a good decision when it comes to men. Makes you wonder what she is like IRL if she's constantly dating the loser of the month. OP, you seem needy to be in ANY relationship... Good or bad and that's not healthy at all.
^^^This is why I cringe when I see her pinning all kinds of wedding things onto her "Someday" board. It could be completely hypthetical but I don't think it is.
I am going to play devil's advocate for a moment and say that half a bottle of wine is like 2 glasses. On top of a meal, over the course of time, this is not especially alarming to me. Not ideal, but not awful.
I am going to play devil's advocate for a moment and say that half a bottle of wine is like 2 glasses. On top of a meal, over the course of time, this is not especially alarming to me. Not ideal, but not awful.
I agree and hence why I didn't say anything. That and we don't know how long he took to drink it. It could have been over the course of 3 hours for all we know.
I am going to play devil's advocate for a moment and say that half a bottle of wine is like 2 glasses. On top of a meal, over the course of time, this is not especially alarming to me. Not ideal, but not awful.
I agree and hence why I didn't say anything. That and we don't know how long he took to drink it. It could have been over the course of 3 hours for all we know.
I agree and hence why I didn't say anything. That and we don't know how long he took to drink it. It could have been over the course of 3 hours for all we know.
You get me. About everything but Mr. Rogers.
Well, GOZF, it would be a little TOO weird if we agreed on everything. Mr Rogers is the one thing that makes our relationship perfect.
I am going to play devil's advocate for a moment and say that half a bottle of wine is like 2 glasses. On top of a meal, over the course of time, this is not especially alarming to me. Not ideal, but not awful.
The rest? I agree with the concerns.
Fine, I will concede that he may be able to drink a couple glasses of wine with no ill effects. I was projecting my own 2 glass giggly/buzzed limit. Because I am lame!
Never once have I seen this chick make a good decision when it comes to men. Makes you wonder what she is like IRL if she's constantly dating the loser of the month. OP, you seem needy to be in ANY relationship... Good or bad and that's not healthy at all.
Actually, I have met jaks IRL and she's lovely. She certainly deserves someone fan-freaking-tastic.
Never once have I seen this chick make a good decision when it comes to men. Makes you wonder what she is like IRL if she's constantly dating the loser of the month. OP, you seem needy to be in ANY relationship... Good or bad and that's not healthy at all.
Actually, I have met jaks IRL and she's lovely. She certainly deserves someone fan-freaking-tastic.
What doesn't she realize this and focus on her son & herself ? The right guy will find her, I'm sorry this one seems like the opposite of what she needs in her life and not a good role model for her son to be around.
Well, GOZF, it would be a little TOO weird if we agreed on everything. Mr Rogers is the one thing that makes our relationship perfect.
I love you. Lets run away together and raise hell.
Hell, yes.
Actually, I have a first date with a guy on Wednesday. We were texting today and he asked what we should do on Wednesday. My exact words were "Well, we could raise some hell and get arrested or just go grab a drink. Your choice." Ha!