Child support/ not signing the birth certificate

[ravenb1111]

My cousin has the cutest baby ever who's about to 6 months old.. So her and her child father decided he was just going to give her money every week.. For whatever reason he didn't sign the certificate, doesn't want to.. (I don't know why?) that child is clearly his, I mean it looks just like him. Hes never claimed it wasn't his. So anyway he's been not being truthful to how much he's giving her. So I told her she just needs to go to court and get this handled now rather then later. But she's worried about it because he didn't sign, and she'd have to lay out the money for a court order DNA test(?) and then pay to have a hearing or whatever (?).. Any advice I could pass along would be awesome.

[ravenb1111]

She doesn't want to use any of that unless she has too. She just want him to give her money ever week like they agreed and trust me it's nothing crazy.. she just wanted them to be adults but you know it doesn't always work out like that

[ravenb1111]

Yea I totally get what your saying, I was saying like that's not why she was doing that, she needs the money for more so for diapers and misc baby stuff. I didn't want it to sound like she's trying to mooch off the system or not go on the system because he should pay.

[demofea01]

I agree that she needs to go to court now, not just hope that he's going to shape up and start behaving like a grown person. This is the kind of stuff I see every single day at work, and it really will just be better for her to get it taken care of now. It sucks and it costs money, but someone who doesn't even want to acknowledge that the baby is his is not someone who is going to pay child support without being forced to.

[ellipses84]

It may depend on the state, but typically you can just go through the state child support enforcement office. They will order a paternity test and if he is the father he will have to pay for it. Visitation is a separate matter he would have to petition for it if he wanted it.

[daringmiss]

Things might be nice and friendly now, but who knows what will happen in 5 years. The man may get a new girlfriend who doesn't want to deal with this informal arrangement. Or move away for a job and decide not to pay. Or your friend may become unemployed and need more money from the father to care for the child. Or if the mother becomes unemployed and needs the child covered on the father's health insurance.

A formal agreement is in everyone's best interest, including the father's.

[BlueBayou]

A formal agreement is in everyone's best interest, including the father's.[/quote]

^^^^^ this exactly. a custody and support order asap is what i suggest as well. as for cost i believe it depends on what state she lives in and what assistance they may offer. you will need to look up the family laws related to.her state. pls pls encourage her to get a custody order too, even.if.she doesnt think.she will need it

[ravenb1111]

I talked to her and told her everything you all said.. She said she's going to call somebody tomorrow to figure out how to get started.. she really needs to do this. Thanks you guys

[Deleted]

Ditto calling her state's child support services office. She can probably have them obtain a child support order at no cost to her.

[Deleted]

In all honesty? The courts may require him to be on the birth certificate, especially if she wants to set child support in place. At the very least they'll want a paternity test, and if she requests not to have one, well, she probably won't get child support. Courts probably aren't going to force someone to pay child support if they can't even *legally* prove the child is his.

[prettyinpearls]

They saying to live by in the single parent world is that "Nice gets your screwed". This child is only 6 months old and the father is already flaking out on CS? She needs to file with the courts, no excuses.

It varies by state, but generally if the father is refusing to acknowledge paternity, the courts will order a DNA test to be done, and the father to pay for it. It shouldn't cost her anything to start the process, as CS is something every child has a legal right to. She needs to stop doing "handshake" agreements NOW. It's setting a precedent and will only get more challenging down the road.

Do they have a CO for custody/parenting time?

[ravenb1111]

May 21, 2012 8:11:30 GMT -5 prettyinpearls said:

They saying to live by in the single parent world is that "Nice gets your screwed". This child is only 6 months old and the father is already flaking out on CS? She needs to file with the courts, no excuses.

It varies by state, but generally if the father is refusing to acknowledge paternity, the courts will order a DNA test to be done, and the father to pay for it. It shouldn't cost her anything to start the process, as CS is something every child has a legal right to. She needs to stop doing "handshake" agreements NOW. It's setting a precedent and will only get more challenging down the road.

Do they have a CO for custody/parenting time?

What does co stand for? Basically he's 'doing what he can' and see his soon maybe 2 a week.. Even though he's like 5 minutes away from her. Their agreement was he can see him whenever he wants.. but the child has to sleep at her house untill he's a little older.

[turtle1120]

May 21, 2012 10:24:29 GMT -5 @ravenb1111 said:

May 21, 2012 8:11:30 GMT -5 prettyinpearls said:

They saying to live by in the single parent world is that "Nice gets your screwed". This child is only 6 months old and the father is already flaking out on CS? She needs to file with the courts, no excuses.

It varies by state, but generally if the father is refusing to acknowledge paternity, the courts will order a DNA test to be done, and the father to pay for it. It shouldn't cost her anything to start the process, as CS is something every child has a legal right to. She needs to stop doing "handshake" agreements NOW. It's setting a precedent and will only get more challenging down the road.

Do they have a CO for custody/parenting time?

What does co stand for? Basically he's 'doing what he can' and see his soon maybe 2 a week.. Even though he's like 5 minutes away from her. Their agreement was he can see him whenever he wants.. but the child has to sleep at her house untill he's a little older.

CO is court order.

Tell her to file for child support with the state. That won't cost her anything. If the father refuses to acknowledge paternity or wants a DNA test, he'll have to pay for it. He doesn't need to be on the birth certificate to do any of this....that's the whole point in doing it...to legally tie him to the child.

As far as visitation and custody go. In most places, the mother is presumed to have full sole custody until an order is entered otherwise. Even when paternity is established, he still won't have visitation or custody unless he goes to court for it.

[daringmiss]

Your friend needs to see a family law attorney pronto. This is way too important to just wing it. She needs to know what THE CHILD is entitled to receive.

[achase123]

I'm not sure how it works with who foots the bill for the DNA test but they probably will have to go through that, the court needs that proof (rather than just saying the six MO looks like him).

I don't think he can avoid CS by not signing the BC, but that's where the DNA test comes in. She won't have to pay to have a hearing, but she would have to pay if she had to hire an attorney (if they battled about how much CS he owed).

They'll both have to submit income/expense information and then the department of child support services will come up with an amount. If he refuses to pay there are actions that can be taken once it's on record with the state. They can garnish wages, revoke is drivers license, levvy bank accounts, etc. The debt never goes away either and it will go back to the date LO was born. I highly suggest she get something in writing with the court. Hoping he'll pay up is usually a fruitless effort.