so glad I didn't say I love you

[baa1981]

I am so thankful that on Thursday I sobered up enough to not say I love you to T. He showed his legit crazy side starting on Friday. I'll try and give a short version!

Friday he sent me a text saying I left the cap off the Advil bottle and his four year old was sucking on six of them. Then it turned into the four year old had his stomach pumped. But like he's done before, he was completely ignoring me (yet commenting on facebook status's during this time) so I couldn't get anymore info from him. I called poison control because I didn't really believe that a stomach would need to be pumped from sucking on 6 Advil. They said it would need to be 20 or more ingested. He never would actually talk to me on the phone. Just texts that would be an hour or two apart. The last text I received was at 3:15 am.

On Saturday I don't hear from him until later in the afternoon. It was crazy texts where I tell him that I called poison control. He then tells me to not insult him but in the same text tells me I'm selfish and that he didn't think he'd see the day he'd lose respect for me. Then he calls me. And is throwing all kinds of insults my way and cussing right and left. I can hear his four year old in the background. I say are you really talking to me like this with your son right there. He said he's in the other room. We end that phone call with him telling me he'll never contact me again.

Except right after we hang up, I get another text from him. I am not even responding. Until he tells me his on his way to my house. I freak out and call my friend's husband. They live near me, so he tells me to come over there. T keeps texting me that he's at my place to come outside. I tell him I'm not there. He wants to know where I am. I don't answer. Then about 20 mins later he sends me a text that says Hey. I'm sorry. I say for what? He says This. I don't answer. He then sends me a text tell me to Fuck off. If this doesn't mean anything to me, then it doesn't to him either. I don't respond.

I think it's over...but oh no! Sunday I get a text from him. I ignore. He calls, I don't answer. Then he sends me three texts right in a row. The third one telling me I'm juvenile for ignoring him (pot meet kettle). Then he says Just say ur done n I will erase your number! I cared about u but really hate that u think ur not in the wrong n things. N that bothers me.

I reply back with Done.

That set him off! This is the last text he sent to me. I lowered my standards fucking with ur fat nasty ass anyway! I've been fucking other women the whole intire time we were talking. Ur fucking disgusting! Kissing u with that tongue made me gag! (I have a geographical tongue. It has ridges in it, but he had told me before he couldn't tell). Take care nasty bitch!

So, on my list today is calling my doctor to get an STD check and calling my apartment complex to get my gate code changed. I'm glad he showed his crazy side before things got too much more involved!!

[roselis]

Yikes!! Good thing you didn't. I'm glad you had friends close by. Stay safe!

[udscoobychick]

Yikes! What a nutcase! Stay safe!

[doriswe]

Freaky!

Did you see any of this cray cray prior to this incident?

[baa1981]

Oct 8, 2012 7:37:01 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Freaky!

Did you see any of this cray cray prior to this incident?

Not to this degree! There were some small red flags that were always on my mind, but I was trying to ignore them. But nothing that would make me think he'd turn into a crazy man! Coming over to my house when he just told me he would never contact me again. The such quick changes from the I'm sorry to 20 mins later tell me to fuck off! Whoa!

[lovelybb]

Holy crap! I'm sorry to hear that! How long did you two date?

[prettyinpearls]

Wow....and all of this came out of left field?

[Deleted]

You dodged a major bullet. He seems unstable and crazy too.

[baa1981]

lovelybb - three month

PIP - pretty much. Like I told Doris, there were a few what I considered small red flags but nothing like this. Like I was going to him a lot, but he has full custody of his son, so it made sense. If he was upset about something, he'd get passive aggressive. But nothing that would make me think he'd go this crazy!

[bullygirl979]

Oct 8, 2012 7:43:27 GMT -5 baa1981 said:

Oct 8, 2012 7:37:01 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Freaky!

Did you see any of this cray cray prior to this incident?

Not to this degree! There were some small red flags that were always on my mind, but I was trying to ignore them. But nothing that would make me think he'd turn into a crazy man! Coming over to my house when he just told me he would never contact me again. The such quick changes from the I'm sorry to 20 mins later tell me to fuck off! Whoa!

Baa--sorry this happened to you!!

Moral of the story: NEVER ignore the red flags or make excuses for them. I did the same thing with my XBF (I was his first gf after his divorce) so I know it is easy to do.

[jojoandleo]

This man has full custody of his son??? That poor kid. I am glad you took care of yourself and went to a friend's and are done now. His jumping from never contacting you again, to coming to see you to, "I care about you" to "fuck off" is alarming. I agree with Bully, never ignore the red flags. Trust your gut.

[turtle1120]

Stay safe and stay away from him!!! And no more ignoring red flags! I'm glad to hear you're okay though.

[housegeek]

If I found 6 advil in my toddlers mouth I would assume she ate more and take her to be pumped. I would also probably flip my wig on the person who left it down and open. But the rest is crazy.

[marigoldgirl]

Oh my gosh. He sounds like my XH. I hope it's over and he does not contact you again.

[stephbfan]

Oct 8, 2012 8:49:55 GMT -5 housegeek said:

If I found 6 advil in my toddlers mouth I would assume she ate more and take her to be pumped. I would also probably flip my wig on the person who left it down and open. But the rest is crazy.

:Y: :Y:
I would take my child to the hospital right away and would call you to make you aware of what you did. It was a mistake but I highly doubt you did it on purpose. However, if you went and doubted that I did in fact took my child to get his stomach pumped and I would be pretty much done with you and would consider you a selfish person.

Dude is crazy, there is no doubt about it but you did handle things properly.

[naeljun]

Wow. Glad you are out of that craziness.

[ninakir88]

WOW, crazy!

[heavenly]

I am sorry! This sounds like a major red flag. I understand being scared to see your kid suck on advils, I know I would totally panick. But how he reacted to the situation was scary. If he is like that with you now, it will be even worse if married.

[usedtobebear]

WTF, I'm so sorry... that is a drastic turn of events for you, yikes!!! I'm glad you didn't say I love you too!! (HUGS)

[achase123]

That's awful!!!!!!!

[baa1981]

Oct 8, 2012 11:14:40 GMT -5 @redvelvet29 said:

If you don't mind what were the small red flags?

He was passive aggressive when it came to communicating any issues. It was a lot of me going to him. He was also a little flakey on plans or meeting my friends. He'd also told me that he played football at a Division I college and told me the coaches he played under there. But when I googled him, there was no mention of his name on the rooster the years he would have been playing there.

As I've been talking to my friend about it more today, there were actually quite a few more things that I'm bringing up that I'm like why did I not just walk away sooner. He was constantly questioning if I took my birth control and saying he didn't want me trying to get pregnant on purpose. I was getting UTIs and he would imply that it was because I had STDs or wasn't clean.

I mean, typing this all out, I am seeing how much of a blind eye I was turning just because I was in a relationship. Like a few people have said so far, I need to do a better job of trusting my gut! In the past, I've been good about that, but I for whatever reason with him, I wasn't!

[jojoandleo]

Oct 8, 2012 12:54:29 GMT -5 baa1981 said:

Oct 8, 2012 11:14:40 GMT -5 @redvelvet29 said:

If you don't mind what were the small red flags?

He was passive aggressive when it came to communicating any issues. It was a lot of me going to him. He was also a little flakey on plans or meeting my friends. He'd also told me that he played football at a Division I college and told me the coaches he played under there. But when I googled him, there was no mention of his name on the rooster the years he would have been playing there.

As I've been talking to my friend about it more today, there were actually quite a few more things that I'm bringing up that I'm like why did I not just walk away sooner. He was constantly questioning if I took my birth control and saying he didn't want me trying to get pregnant on purpose. I was getting UTIs and he would imply that it was because I had STDs or wasn't clean.

I mean, typing this all out, I am seeing how much of a blind eye I was turning just because I was in a relationship. Like a few people have said so far, I need to do a better job of trusting my gut! In the past, I've been good about that, but I for whatever reason with him, I wasn't!

Uh... WHAT!?! If some dude insinuated I was "Unclean" I wouldn't be getting dirty with him EVER again. Yeah, this should have ended a while ago. Don't worry, we have ALL stayed too long, now you know, trust your gut.

[stephbfan]

Oct 8, 2012 12:54:29 GMT -5 baa1981 said:

Oct 8, 2012 11:14:40 GMT -5 @redvelvet29 said:

If you don't mind what were the small red flags?

He was passive aggressive when it came to communicating any issues. It was a lot of me going to him. He was also a little flakey on plans or meeting my friends. He'd also told me that he played football at a Division I college and told me the coaches he played under there. But when I googled him, there was no mention of his name on the rooster the years he would have been playing there.

As I've been talking to my friend about it more today, there were actually quite a few more things that I'm bringing up that I'm like why did I not just walk away sooner. He was constantly questioning if I took my birth control and saying he didn't want me trying to get pregnant on purpose. I was getting UTIs and he would imply that it was because I had STDs or wasn't clean.

I mean, typing this all out, I am seeing how much of a blind eye I was turning just because I was in a relationship. Like a few people have said so far, I need to do a better job of trusting my gut! In the past, I've been good about that, but I for whatever reason with him, I wasn't!

Dude, I'm sorry but those were HUGE red flags all over!!! You should have dumped him a long time ago.

[leslieknope]

Wow! He's an ass. So sorry you had to deal with that. No one deserves to be treated that way. Glad you are done with him! Hugs!

[jade28]

Wow what a crazy turn of events. I don't understand how someone can change that drastically but I guess there were red flags. This is what I am always scared of happening - someone I am with just flipping the switch.

How are you feeling? You loved this guy just a few days ago so I'm assuming this is hard but sounds like you have a healthy mindset about it. Sorry it happened.

[baa1981]

Oct 8, 2012 13:40:05 GMT -5 @redvelvet29 said:

Why were you going to tell him you loved him a few days ago?? He was being a huge ass

Because I was choosing to ignore all of the asshole things he was doing. And wanted the few good things about him to be true and really work. I knew deep down it wasn't the right relationship and that I didn't love him but was trying to convince myself that those flags weren't that big of a deal.

[baa1981]

Oct 8, 2012 13:42:13 GMT -5 jade28 said:

Wow what a crazy turn of events. I don't understand how someone can change that drastically but I guess there were red flags. This is what I am always scared of happening - someone I am with just flipping the switch.

How are you feeling? You loved this guy just a few days ago so I'm assuming this is hard but sounds like you have a healthy mindset about it. Sorry it happened.

Yesterday I was sad about it. Today I'm more angry at myself for ignoring all the stuff I was. I think because I knew deep down it wasn't right that helped with me not getting too upset with the mean things he was saying to try and get me upset.

It also helped that my friend and her husband are cool and level headed and let me hang out with them Saturday night and Sunday. If I would have been by myself, I probably would have dwelled on it more and gotten sad.

[gozf]

Oct 8, 2012 13:47:04 GMT -5 baa1981 said:

Oct 8, 2012 13:40:05 GMT -5 @redvelvet29 said:

Why were you going to tell him you loved him a few days ago?? He was being a huge ass

Because I was choosing to ignore all of the asshole things he was doing. And wanted the few good things about him to be true and really work. I knew deep down it wasn't the right relationship and that I didn't love him but was trying to convince myself that those flags weren't that big of a deal.

This probably goes without saying, but don't do that, ok? Don't ignore things that are obviously wrong. Don't tell someone you love him or her if you don't. Being in a bad relationship is SO MUCH WORSE than not being in a relationship. Yeah, he flipped his lid, which is uncool. But, honestly -- and I mean this with all the kindness in my heart -- this admission makes me think that perhaps you still have a lot to work on before you pursue another relationship.