So we don't have any concrete plans...he was texting yesterday (Tuesday dude) and then last night telling me "Happy MOnday, wish me luck because I'm asking for a raise today etc"). When I got the text this morning I sent one back wishing him luck and asking him to fill me in about how the talk went.
I didn't hear back so I sent another text saying he may get to see my coral bikini sooner than later because I'm so sore from my workout that I needed to cash in on the hot tub date he was talking about.
He texted back "sounds great, I like sooner rather than later!"
So I said "well let me know what your plans are for this week". He texted back and said "well I hate to say it but I'm really busy this week at night because of this light show but Thursday night I may be able to switch things around and go, otherwise it might have to be early next week".
So now I assume I'm getting the brush off and just replied "hmmmm". So he wrote "hmmmm" and then he said he'd let me know ASAP about Thursday.
So now I think I'm getting the brush off and I'm super PISSY.
Sorry for the novel.
Nothing from Thursday dude after I ignored him. Thank goodness.
Achase, I think you are sort of self-sabotaging here/pushing him away. I don't actually see anything here that indicates he's brushing you off. He's responsive, is trying to shift some things around and sounds sincerely busy.
Achase, I think you are sort of self-sabotaging here/pushing him away. I don't actually see anything here that indicates he's brushing you off. He's responsive, is trying to shift some things around and sounds sincerely busy.
Honestly, you could be right...I just hate that feeling. It means that I actually like him when I get like this and I don't like it at all. It's something that I really need help on. I get into this mode where I will protect myself at all costs. It's hard for me to do anything except slip into "Debbie Downer" mode because I'm so darn sick of getting hurt.
I agree with PDX. Why do you think you are getting the brush off? He is busy... he is trying to move things around.
I guess it's a combo of things. Last week (after the Tuesday date) he was definitely chatt(ier). He was either texting all day and Friday were were even chatting on FB for the majority of the day. I'm having a hard time putting my finger on it. It just seems like Saturday went well so now I'm a little invested emotionally so now I'm more worried about it. I don't like that feeling AT ALL.
I agree with PDX. Why do you think you are getting the brush off? He is busy... he is trying to move things around.
I guess it's a combo of things. Last week (after the Tuesday date) he was definitely chatt(ier). He was either texting all day and Friday were were even chatting on FB for the majority of the day. I'm having a hard time putting my finger on it. It just seems like Saturday went well so now I'm a little invested emotionally so now I'm more worried about it. I don't like that feeling AT ALL.
Lady you have got to stop over analyzing this! He is communicating with you. It just sounds like he has gotten really busy. Now if he didn't text you back at all and claimed he was "busy" that's BS.
I understand about protecting yourself about getting hurt, but you are guaranteeing that you will get hurt by the way you are acting, which with the "hmmmm" text was a little rude.
I guess it's a combo of things. Last week (after the Tuesday date) he was definitely chatt(ier). He was either texting all day and Friday were were even chatting on FB for the majority of the day. I'm having a hard time putting my finger on it. It just seems like Saturday went well so now I'm a little invested emotionally so now I'm more worried about it. I don't like that feeling AT ALL.
How many dates have you been on?
Two, that's the worst part about it. Not nearly enough dates to be bothered one way or the other.
Yah, the "hmmmm" WAS a bit rude. I kind of saved it though and he said he'd let me know ASAP about the Thursday thing so I said "ok cool "
I'm not sure what's wrong with me...maybe I'm pmsing.
Achase, I think you are sort of self-sabotaging here/pushing him away. I don't actually see anything here that indicates he's brushing you off. He's responsive, is trying to shift some things around and sounds sincerely busy.
ITA. If he is trying to move stuff around he isn't going to know when he is free and therefore isn't going to throw out dates. Just because he isn't jumping all over it doesn't mean he isn't necessarily interested.
So we don't have any concrete plans...he was texting yesterday (Tuesday dude) and then last night telling me "Happy MOnday, wish me luck because I'm asking for a raise today etc"). When I got the text this morning I sent one back wishing him luck and asking him to fill me in about how the talk went.
I didn't hear back so I sent another text saying he may get to see my coral bikini sooner than later because I'm so sore from my workout that I needed to cash in on the hot tub date he was talking about.
He texted back "sounds great, I like sooner rather than later!"
So I said "well let me know what your plans are for this week". He texted back and said "well I hate to say it but I'm really busy this week at night because of this light show but Thursday night I may be able to switch things around and go, otherwise it might have to be early next week".
So now I assume I'm getting the brush off and just replied "hmmmm". So he wrote "hmmmm" and then he said he'd let me know ASAP about Thursday.
So now I think I'm getting the brush off and I'm super PISSY.
Sorry for the novel.
Nothing from Thursday dude after I ignored him. Thank goodness.
I dont have any great substantive advice because I am the EXACT same way. At least you arent alone
And I always tell myself things work out how they are supposed to and not to put pressure on it either way........
So we don't have any concrete plans...he was texting yesterday (Tuesday dude) and then last night telling me "Happy MOnday, wish me luck because I'm asking for a raise today etc"). When I got the text this morning I sent one back wishing him luck and asking him to fill me in about how the talk went.
I didn't hear back so I sent another text saying he may get to see my coral bikini sooner than later because I'm so sore from my workout that I needed to cash in on the hot tub date he was talking about.
He texted back "sounds great, I like sooner rather than later!"
So I said "well let me know what your plans are for this week". He texted back and said "well I hate to say it but I'm really busy this week at night because of this light show but Thursday night I may be able to switch things around and go, otherwise it might have to be early next week".
So now I assume I'm getting the brush off and just replied "hmmmm". So he wrote "hmmmm" and then he said he'd let me know ASAP about Thursday.
So now I think I'm getting the brush off and I'm super PISSY.
Sorry for the novel.
Nothing from Thursday dude after I ignored him. Thank goodness.
I dont have any great substantive advice because I am the EXACT same way. At least you arent alone
And I always tell myself things work out how they are supposed to and not to put pressure on it either way........
No, that helps a lot. I think that I've looked back at how I've been in the past and felt embarassed when things haven't worked out that I was excited about. The reality is, that sometimes happens in life. It's the way that it goes. It's not like I did something wrong, per se, in those situations, except take a chance.
I rarely like people I date so it's hard to actually like someone, let your guard down a tiny bit, and then be worried you're going to be disappointed.
Two, that's the worst part about it. Not nearly enough dates to be bothered one way or the other.
Yah, the "hmmmm" WAS a bit rude. I kind of saved it though and he said he'd let me know ASAP about the Thursday thing so I said "ok cool "
I'm not sure what's wrong with me...maybe I'm pmsing.
It is normal to want someone that we dig to like us back. But at the same time, you need to put it into perspective and remind yourself that you have only been on 2 dates.
Two, that's the worst part about it. Not nearly enough dates to be bothered one way or the other.
Yah, the "hmmmm" WAS a bit rude. I kind of saved it though and he said he'd let me know ASAP about the Thursday thing so I said "ok cool "
I'm not sure what's wrong with me...maybe I'm pmsing.
Yeah.. two dates is not that many. Most people are busy and can't or don't want to spend the day texting or facebooking so I would just let him see if he can work out his schedule and then do something next week.
No, not at all. I guess I just was totally getting the "he's into me" vibe so I thought he'd jump at the chance to get together again. Logically, yes, it makes sense but it's just the feeling I'm getting, maybe I'm wrong.
No, not at all. I guess I just was totally getting the "he's into me" vibe so I thought he'd jump at the chance to get together again. Logically, yes, it makes sense but it's just the feeling I'm getting, maybe I'm wrong.
I think this is one of those instances where it just simply doesn't have anything to do with you. And honestly you're coming across as REALLY high maintenance right now (to us, not necessarily to him). I get where you're coming from, I really do. But dude is busy and you totes gave him a hard time about not hanging out with you instead of even asking him what's going on with him/expressing that you are sorry he's busy.
Again if he'd completely stopped responding that's one thing. But he simply doesn't have the time this week to dedicate to you and he IS trying to make room.
No, not at all. I guess I just was totally getting the "he's into me" vibe so I thought he'd jump at the chance to get together again. Logically, yes, it makes sense but it's just the feeling I'm getting, maybe I'm wrong.
I think this is one of those instances where it just simply doesn't have anything to do with you. And honestly you're coming across as REALLY high maintenance right now (to us, not necessarily to him). I get where you're coming from, I really do. But dude is busy and you totes gave him a hard time about not hanging out with you instead of even asking him what's going on with him/expressing that you are sorry he's busy.
Again if he'd completely stopped responding that's one thing. But he simply doesn't have the time this week to dedicate to you and he IS trying to make room.
I'm trying not to be. I really am. I don't like feeling this way. I guess I'm saying it here because BK asked me and because it's easier to run it by everyone here instead of doing something ridiculous to him.
I hope you all are right and I'm being an idiot. I've done these things before and been wrong about it (I had something similar happen when I was hanging out with V).
And I didn't give him a hard time about not hanging out with me. I didn't really say that much about it. He might have gotten a similar vibe if I'd told him I was essentially busy until next week...not sure. It's hard to say.
I'm trying not to be. I really am. I don't like feeling this way. I guess I'm saying it here because BK asked me and because it's easier to run it by everyone here instead of doing something ridiculous to him.
I hope you all are right and I'm being an idiot. I've done these things before and been wrong about it (I had something similar happen when I was hanging out with V).
And I didn't give him a hard time about not hanging out with me. I didn't really say that much about it. He might have gotten a similar vibe if I'd told him I was essentially busy until next week...not sure. It's hard to say.
You are taking all the fun out of liking someone!
Just be happy that he was nice and you had a good time... people are busy!!
I know!!!! This is why I don't normally like someone. It turns into this business.
People always say "oh, enjoy that awesome feeling!" I can't really enjoy it until I know I'm on the same page as someone because then, if it doesn't work out, I feel like an idiot.
I totally understand where you are coming from! That is a really awful feeling and try to relax as much as you can. Try not to let past occurances get in the way of the present. Also, if you put your heart out there completely, yes there is a risk of getting hurt again but at least you did that. If you close up, you will never know what could have happen and may always be wondering.
I totally understand where you are coming from! That is a really awful feeling and try to relax as much as you can. Try not to let past occurances get in the way of the present. Also, if you put your heart out there completely, yes there is a risk of getting hurt again but at least you did that. If you close up, you will never know what could have happen and may always be wondering.
:Y: :Y: :Y:
This is my concern. I'm afraid you'll push him away and maybe lose something awesome. Sure it may not work out, but at this point you're guaranteeing something won't work out.
I totally understand where you are coming from! That is a really awful feeling and try to relax as much as you can. Try not to let past occurances get in the way of the present. Also, if you put your heart out there completely, yes there is a risk of getting hurt again but at least you did that. If you close up, you will never know what could have happen and may always be wondering.
This is my concern. I'm afraid you'll push him away and maybe lose something awesome. Sure it may not work out, but at this point you're guaranteeing something won't work out.
You're right ladies. I'll just have to see what happens.
I do completely appreciate the perspectives. I know you're all right. I would tell someone else in my situation the same thing. I hate letting my guard down, even a little bit. And I don't want to sabotage something before it starts.