Update on my impending divorce

[Noralie]

DH and I both met with lawyers and finished hammering out the details of the postnup this weekend. I'm just going to bring our wishes to my lawyer and make sure everything looks good and we aren't overlooking anything big or making stupid moves. Then we sign the papers and are legally separated.

I thought the house was going to be a sticking point. I want it, but it would be a lot on one income. DH came out and said he wanted it, so I said ok. He will have to buy me out and refi, but we were going through the refinance process anyway. They will just continue with only his name once the legal documents are signed.

I am apartment hunting and DH even went furniture shopping with me this weekend. I'm excited to completely decorate how I want and just have my own space. It's going to be awesome.

The girls will be splitting their time with us. My apartment would be really close by. They are young and while there will be challenging moments, I think they will adapt ok. I have a sad little kids book on divorce to read to them.

DH is doing ok, but I can see the depression creeping up. He is so used to talking to me about everything and I just can't be that person in this situation. I've strongly encouraged him to go to a therapist, but he hasn't done it so far.


My life is full of really high highs and low lows, but the good things are winning out at the moment. I just feel so free and light.

The relationship with my girlfriend (I guess I can call her that? we're not to labels yet and won't be until I'm separated anyway) is progressing really nicely. She and DH actually met and we all hung out together on Friday and Saturday. That was a little nuts, but they seem to get along. I met her son and she met my daughters and oh my goodness she was so good with them. Her sister invited me to go hiking with some of their family next weekend. It's just going really well.

[Kore]

I'm glad to hear everything is so amicable. It sounds like once the dust settles, you and your H will be able to continue being friends & great parents to the girls.

[theintended]

Really happy to see this update. I hope things continue to go well for all involved, and that your soon-to-be-ex finds a good support system so your relationship with him can be as healthy as possible.

[anna7602]

I don't know any of the back story, but this all sounds so good and promising. I hope it continues to go smoothly for you and wish you the best in this new phase of your life.

[cjeanette]

I am so glad it is going smoothly!

[SJ]

Thank you for the update! I'm glad to hear things are moving along nicely for you.

[takeonyou]

It sounds like it is going as smoothly as possible. That is so great that everyone is getting along so well.

[fuddyduddy]

I'm glad things seem to be moving along smoothly and I hope that continues. Good luck with everything.

[curbsideprophet]

Glad it is going well.

[whitepicketfence]

Thank you for the update! I'm glad to hear that things appear to be going as smoothly as possible.

[pugz]

i'm so glad! have you guys told your families yet?

[nonsenseabound]

Kudos for parents who continue to work together even when a marriage ends. My mom was an elementary school teacher for 37 years and she can count on one hand the number of parents who would do conferences and meetings together post divorce.

Best to you.

[h]

I am glad things are going well, though I am sure it is a stressful time nonetheless.

I, too, think it is awesome that you are your husband are continuing to get along so well. I grew up with very amicably divorced parents, and it was great. I really believe the way that my parents worked together and remained friends did SO much to mitigate any negative impact the divorce might have had on me and my brother. I am very grateful to them for being such grown-ups, and I am sure your kids will feel the same some day.

[Noralie]

Oct 8, 2012 14:08:06 GMT -5 pugz said:

i'm so glad! have you guys told your families yet?

We have not. I'm going to try to be pretty matter of fact about it with my family. "We are separating. It just didn't work out. I'm doing ok. Come visit me in my new place." I'm not big on giving out the "whys" when a relationship ends. People always have an answer about why your reasons are not good enough and I don't want to open that door to having to justify my decisions.

[FrozenSunshine]

Sounds like things are going great under the circumstances. Best of luck as you move forward.

[UnderProtest]

Best of luck! It sounds like your husband/soon to be ex is a really good person. Be careful about how close the kids get to your new girlfriend. I know way too many people whose kids are confused by the rotating list of significant others. I'm not saying that will happen to you, but just try to mindful of it. I'm sure your kids are going through a lot right now (as are you).

[clickerish]

Awesome. It sounds like, given the circumstances, you are both pulling together to do the best for your kids. It's rare, so congratulations.

And you're so fortunate that your girlfriend's family accepts you. Also a bonus no matter what happens in the end with her!

[GailGoldie]

i'm glad things are going well adn you are feeling more happy than sad.

one of the regulars on our local NJ board recently went through a divorce after she came out - she lives with her girlfriend now, she and her DH have a close relationship - split the time with the kids, etc. Her parents have taken a long time to come around, but slowly are making progress. I hope your family and friends are supportive of you and that thing continue to go well for you!

[Pom]

It sounds like you both are in a good place and you are both being kind to each other which will reflect in how your kids feel about it. Good luck.

[rex]

I'm glad this is going so smoothly for you. Your stbxh sounds like a great guy and I hope that you guys can have a healthy friendship in the future.

[bunch]

Thanks for the update! I hope things continue to go so smoothly.