Babysitter Issues- help please

[UnderProtest]

So I'm new to the whole babysitter thing. Prior to last week, we had only used our cleaning lady and family. So tell me if I'm nuts.

So I got a name from a neighbor and met with this chick before she came to sit last week. I wanted to get to know her a bit and show her where things were. She seemed fine, so I asked her to sit on a weeknight so my husband and I could go out for our anniversary. She was 10 minutes late and instead of grabbing the kids dishes (or our regular dishes), she opened a new pack of bowls that was on the counter. I know this is trivial, but it irked me since I had shown her where the kids' stuff was and it isn't like its hidden. But especially since she charges so much to babysit and the kids slept half the time.

After that evening I talked with another neighbor who had used her and that neighbor wasn't really impressed. The babysitter did odd things in her house too and didn't always clean up after the kid. I was hoping to use this chick once a week or so when I ran errands or such so this was disappointing to hear.

Well, she called me today to tell me that she had a friend who had more availability than her (she was only open on one day which is the kids' music class day, so not my first choice of days) and that she thinks would be a good fit. What is that all about? She even asked me if I still wanted her this week as scheduled. It just seems very odd.

I would just use my cleaning lady (the kids LOVE her), but English isn't her first language and I worry about how well she understands my instructions. I know she wouldn't harm the kids, so is it worth getting upset over her giving them junk food?

Lay it out for me. I'm torn and confused. Do I go with the ESL cleaning lady and just accept that the kids will eat not so great things (oh, she also cleans while she is here) or go with the expensive babysitters who are trying to pawn me off?

[mrssandro]

Well how does your cleaning lady do with cleaning the house? How long has she worked for you? Has it been a problem in the past with English being her second language? Do you trust her?

[6fsn]

If this is for more than a random (monthly) night out I'd keep looking. The sitter that came wasn't a good fit in her personality or availability. Meet with the friend and see if you like her better.

[UnderProtest]

Oct 8, 2012 13:58:19 GMT -5 mrssandro said:

Well how does your cleaning lady do with cleaning the house? How long has she worked for you? Has it been a problem in the past with English being her second language? Do you trust her?

The cleaning lady has been working for us for several years (around 4, I think). She does an amazing job with the house and even plays with the kids when she is here to clean. I trust her, I just worry about her giving them junk foods and in case of an emergency being able to contact emergency services. I guess I need to get over the food thing and use her for date nights.

But I'd also like to get someone during a weekday and I'm not sure that she is available. What do you think about the other sitter situation? Or using her friend? The whole situation is just odd to me.

[frlcb]

I don't understand the bowl thing, but I will just say that unless I implicitly tell a sitter they are to clean I don't expect them to. They are here to watch my kids, not do dishes, so the neighbor telling you she didn't clean wouldn't impact me. It does seem like you aren't crazy about her, and maybe she could tell you weren't hence the offering the friends name. I would meet with the friend and see if you click with her. As for the cleaning lady, does she understand anything you tell her? If you think she is great with the kids and you feel that they are safe then the language thing wouldn't be an issue for me.

[mrssandro]

I am sure you can learn to say no junk food in her language. It can't be that difficult. In addition, if she has been working for you for years she probably knows more English than you think. This comes from my MIL who is second language is English and she she works with 2-3 year exclusively at her daycare. Never mattered much.

As for the other chick. She doesn't sound like she would be a good fit for you. I would interview the friend and see if you mesh better with her.

[atouchofklasse]

How much are you paying her?

[UnderProtest]

Oct 8, 2012 14:13:53 GMT -5 frlcb said:

I don't understand the bowl thing, but I will just say that unless I implicitly tell a sitter they are to clean I don't expect them to. They are here to watch my kids, not do dishes, so the neighbor telling you she didn't clean wouldn't impact me. It does seem like you aren't crazy about her, and maybe she could tell you weren't hence the offering the friends name. I would meet with the friend and see if you click with her. As for the cleaning lady, does she understand anything you tell her? If you think she is great with the kids and you feel that they are safe then the language thing wouldn't be an issue for me.

I knew it wouldn't come out quite right. I had shown her where all the dishes were (kids and our glass dishes). Instead of going into the drawer or opening a cabinet, she opened a new pack of bowls that was sitting on the counter. How did she know they weren't for a gift or for something else? Its very trivial, but it just bugged me since I had shown her where things were.

The cleaning lady does understand most of what I tell her, but sometimes it takes a couple times. She is much better in person than on the phone. I know another friend uses her for cleaning and babysitting and she gives those kids a lot of treats too.

[UnderProtest]

Oct 8, 2012 14:16:50 GMT -5 atouchofklasse said:

How much are you paying her?

The new babysitter charges $15 an hour. The cleaning lady/babysitter said she charges $6 an hour for babysitting, though I pay her around $10. She cleans while the kids are sleeping too. The new babysitter didn't even wipe up the floor after the kids ate (though she did clean their trays).

[vanillacourage]

It sounds like you are looking for a nanny, someone who will both clean & watch kids, but only do it for one night. I would try to think this through and decide what you're really looking for - because it sounds like neither option is quite right. A random babysitter is not going to mop your floor, and someone there expressly to clean is not going to give the kids the attention they need.

I will say that I would not be comfortable leaving my kids with someone who I thought didn't have a strong enough command of the English language to safely deal with the authorities.

[GailGoldie]

most sitters don't clean up these days- it's a common complaint i hear. but $15 isn't much in this area for more than one child- that's what we pay our sitter.

i would simply find a new sitter if you aren't 100% comfortable with the cleaning lady sitting... but if you are- then jsut use her. I don't care if my kids eat crap here and there - and obviously if it's in my house then it's not like it's the sitter's fault.

this sitter chick sounds odd- and i wouldn't trust her or her friend.

[mollybrown]

I'd use the cleaning lady. The most important thing to me is that I trust a babysitter and they treat my children well. Anything else is a bonus.

I disagree that it's too much to expect that a babysitter be expected to clean up after the kids and put their dishes in the dishwasher once they are in bed. It's one thing if they are interacting with the children the whole time and don't get to it. But if the children go to bed and the sitter can't be bothered to put some toys in a toy box or put dishes in the dishwasher before they turn on the TV or hop on the internet, then that's just lazy.

And $15 is a good wage. I think people on MMM pay their babysitters far better than the average American. I think you can find someone willing to clean up after the kids for $15 an hour. It sounds like she doesn't really want the job, so I'd move on.

[UnderProtest]

Thanks for the responses! Keep them coming. I am looking for a daytime babysitter once a week or so, not a full time nanny or anything. It seems pretty common in this area to have a sitter come once a week during the day so the mom can run errands or such. This is a huge area for stay at home moms though so I know its not the norm.

I guess my post was twofold. One, would you trust the cleaning lady for an evening sitter? Sounds like people are a bit mixed on this one. This city is fairly bilingual due to the immigrant population so I would *think* emergency services would also be bilingual, but that is my concern.

Two, does the new sitter (or her friend) sound sketchy? My cleaning lady has always been awesome about knowing where stuff is (since she's been cleaning my house forever) and for picking up after the kids, so I didn't know if I was expecting too much from the new person. I wouldn't expect a teenager necessarily to clean, but I would think a late 20 year old who does this full time would at least clean up after dinner. I know I did when I babysat in middle school and high school.

[h]

I think if you are questioning your comfort level with both of the possible sitters, you should just keep looking, particularly if this is someone you will be using once a week. There is no reason to settle.

[rootbeerfloat]

I would use the cleaning lady for a night out.

The sitter who opened the new bowls doesn't sound like a good fit for you. I don't think it's too much to expect an evening sitter to put toys away or dishes in the dishwasher, but if I liked the sitter otherwise, it wouldn't necesarily be a dealbreaker if she didn't.

[dochas]

I haven't found a sitter yet. But the cleaning lady sounds great - like a grandma! I doubt she'd bring her own junk food so just don't leave any for her to feed the kids. I also wouldn't have a problem meeting with the other sitter's friend.

[Mushe]

I would keep looking. As hens said, you don't sound comfortable with either option. At face value, I wouldn't have a problem with the sitter recommending her friend because sitter's availability doesn't match your need, but if you don't like sitter, I would assume you won't like her friend.

We found an awesome babysitter using Care.com.

As for the cleaning, I don't expect her to clean up if the baby is asleep. If that is your expectation, I would set t when you're doing a meet & greet.

[mrssandro]

I would be comfortable with the cleaning lady in the evening as well.

[anna7602]

Oct 8, 2012 16:09:44 GMT -5 dochas said:

I doubt she'd bring her own junk food so just don't leave any for her to feed the kids. I also wouldn't have a problem meeting with the other sitter's friend.

This. I still don't get the issue with the junk food. If it's stuff that's in your house, then either hide it or get rid of it.

But, as Vanilla said, I'd be worried that the cleaner couldn't give your kids the attention they need if she's still trying to keep on top of everything cleaning-wise.

I leave DD with DH often in a country where he speaks about ten words total of the language, so I won't comment on that part. It's all about your comfort level.

[UnderProtest]

Oct 8, 2012 16:26:26 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Oct 8, 2012 16:09:44 GMT -5 dochas said:

I doubt she'd bring her own junk food so just don't leave any for her to feed the kids. I also wouldn't have a problem meeting with the other sitter's friend.

This. I still don't get the issue with the junk food. If it's stuff that's in your house, then either hide it or get rid of it.

But, as Vanilla said, I'd be worried that the cleaner couldn't give your kids the attention they need if she's still trying to keep on top of everything cleaning-wise.

I leave DD with DH often in a country where he speaks about ten words total of the language, so I won't comment on that part. It's all about your comfort level.

Yeah, I know I'm overplaying the junk food. Its not like I don't give them some stuff.

She cleans when they go to bed, so I'm okay with that part.

Thanks for the reality check about the language issue. I think I'm just having a hard time admitting I need help during the day and clicking with someone.

[loskadoodle]

I would use the cleaning lady. Kids like babysitters cuz they let them do things their patents don't. I doubt she will let them pig out, but I could be wrong.

As for the other lady, move on but meet with the friend.

[UnderProtest]

Oct 8, 2012 18:48:34 GMT -5 @ojo said:

I wouldn't rule out the friend. I got lots of babysitting gigs and even a full time babysitting job in my early 20s because of referrals like that.

Giving the babysitter the benefit of the doubt, maybe she thought the bowls were on the counter to use so you wouldn't come home to dishes or something. It's really unfair to call that lazy when you could have just as easily opened a cupboard to put them away. No snark intended, I just think it's a really trivial issue. It's okay to not feel like it was a good fit. In the grand scheme of things though, the bowls shouldn't even be on the scale. If she is good with your kids, you trust her to keep them safe, and you can depend on her for timeliness and open communication, all systems are go. The biggest issue here that I can see is that she was late, but you seem to be thinking it was the bowls.

Maybe I'm reading into it, but would you refer your friend instead of you? I had asked her to come this week and she told me about her friend and then asked if I still wanted her in two days. That struck me as odd.

So I admit the bowl thing was stupid. But they were still in an unopened package on the counter. It was weird that she used them instead of the clean bowls in the drawer. The late thing was a definite issue, hence all my other hesitations about her.