Post by countthestars on Oct 8, 2012 13:58:38 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. You can talk to us about this any time. I can't imagine the hurt I would feel if my H lost my trust like that, but I think you are doing a great job working through it together. It's okay to be angry and bitter. ((hugs))
I"m so sorry. That's a shitty time for him to decide to tell you, but what's done is done. I'm glad you've been able to work through a lot of your issues and come out in a better place. But I can totally understand having down days.
FWIW, I hated my 35th birthday with a passion. I wasn't even married yet, and that was the year all the magazines talked about how 35yo single women were old bitter hags who hated men. I wanted to hit something.
Post by UnderProtest on Oct 8, 2012 14:09:58 GMT -5
I'm so sorry about your situation, but I'm glad you are seeing a counselor about it. Sometimes there are ups and downs to moving forward and it sounds like you have hit a down patch. Its okay to be upset about what he did and how he altered your life and your life plans, but try not to dwell on it for long (I know, its tough, I'm a dweller). You are a strong woman, but remember to take time for yourself. Are you sure there aren't any real life friends who you can talk to? Or at least tell that you are having a rough time and you need some fun friend time without them prying?
I think it's totally reasonable and completely understandable to remember what was happening a year ago and feel angry about what you had to go through. That doesn't in any way negate the work you've done in the past year or the progress you've made...
Hugs. I hope you're still able to find some joy in your birthday
normally i tell people who are sad about their age to shut up, be happy they are getting old b/c it's a luxury too many people never get, etc.... But you don't sound like you are upset about age- you are reliving issues from last year- which is normal --- it will take time- maybe many years, before you don't relive it over and over again.
i'm so sorry you have been going through this - and not being able to talk to frinds/family about it... glad you are going through therapy - and prayers that you can find peace in your heart soon, and have a very happy birthday in the coming years.
talk to your husband about how you feel - don't hide it... he needs to know that this is still there, and still stings badly, and that you can use a little extra love and support around your birthday in coming years.
I'm really sorry your birthday is associated with such a hard time in your life and marriage. I hope the counseling/therapy can help you get some perspective and separate the two things eventually.
It's really hard when things are enmeshed together like that. Maybe it's time to start celebrating some other day of the year- your half-birthday or your saint/name day (even if you're not religious at all) with some kind of ritual that's all your own- spa day or girls' day or something like that.