How often for occasional babysitter?

[Deleted]

Do you have a minimum amount that you try to get your occasional / evening /teenage babysitter? Dh and I disagree. We typically don't go out much- maybe once every few months.

One of us thinks that you should be getting the sitter at least 1-2x/month to keep her engaged, loyal, etc. The other thinks that is dumb and you should just get her when you need her, even if it's only once every 3 months.

What do you think? How often to you think you 'should' have a babysitter? (my kids are both school aged).

[fortmyersbride]

We just use them when we need them. Most sitters we have used have a few other families they sit for, so more often than not we're fighting for a spot rather than keeping the sitter in business.

[iheartbanjos]

When you need them. For us, it's 2-4x month. We have very few friends with kids and even the ones with kids like to go out 1-2x month. Our child free friends go out 3+ times a week. We usually only make it out for bigger weekends (friends in town, birthdays, etc.)

[anna7602]

We used/use ours regularly so the person stays familiar to DD. At this point, she's 4 and isn't really going to forget someone. But when she was younger, it was really hard for the sitter to get her to bed when she hadn't been in a while. And the bonus for us is that thinking of it in those terms forced us to have date nights even when there wasn't a specific movie/show/event we wanted to go to.

Now we try to do it regularly simply because I feel like it's good for our relationship as a married couple. I know a few couples who have a date night (with a sitter) once a week. I wish we could do that, but our work schedules are a little nuts and we entertain a lot of out of town guests, so it would be hard to pull off.

[rootbeerfloat]

Wwe use her when we need her, which has only been 3x in the last 9 months. We don't get out much, and we have my parents and sister available (for free), too.

[cricketwife]

I would only get a sitter when I needed one. But if you can afford a sitter more often than every few months, then I'd take advantage of the sitter to have more date nights.

When I was a teenager and I babysat a lot, I wasn't really "more loyal" to one family or another. If you called me first, you got me. If I was booked already, I'd tell you.

[amberatkins]

We have our sitter come twice a month for our standing date night. The routine works well for our kids who are still young enough to be upset sometimes when we leave, and we've grown to have a good relationship with her which is nice when we're trying to schedule something important.

[Deleted]

We have a standing weekly date night. Sometimes, we have to cancel based on travel and schedules. However, we established a relationship with her quickly and she definitely clears out her schedule if we make a special request and we appreciate it.

[GailGoldie]

there is no reason to get a babysitter unless you want to go out... don't plan things just so she'll be loyal, etc - your kids are fine if they have a different sitter every time.

but if you want to go out 1-2x's a month- by all means, do it!

i used to be a sitter for a family every saturday - they felt it was important to their marriage- and they could afford it (paying me and going out, etc - it adds up)... i was in college so didn't mind sitting and getting home at 11pm b/c that is when i went out

DH and i don't want to go out that often and can't afford to anyway - we just get a sitter when we have plans etc.

[h]

We just use her when we need her. Sometimes that ends up being 2 or 3 times in a month, other times we go a couple months without needing a sitter.

[dochas]

If one spouse has expressed a need for a sitter 1 or 2 times per month in order to stay engaged then I would absolutely choose that answer. We don't have a sitter and can't afford one but I would like one at least once a month.

ETA: HA! Now I see that it's to keep the sitter engaged and loyal - I thought the spouse needed it. LOL. I change my answer to only when needed. But I would stay more engaged if we could go out twice a month alone!