Am I being cheap? Baby stuff- NEW DEVELOPMENT

[UnderProtest]

Okay, now I'm even more irritated. I got an email this morning about the person having twin girls.....she'll take my boy stuff because her friend is having a boy. Uhm, a friend of a friend of a friend??? This is going too far.

[shortstax]

I would offer up the carseats and any clothes that you no longer want. That's as far as I would go.

Good luck!

[knitty]

Oct 10, 2012 10:17:46 GMT -5 UnderProtest said:

Okay, now I'm even more irritated. I got an email this morning about the person having twin girls.....she'll take my boy stuff because her friend is having a boy. Uhm, a friend of a friend of a friend??? This is going too far.

In my circles it's actually hard to find someone who needs stuff, so don't be irritated, she thinks she's doing you a favour. And since goodwill won't take most of it, and it will soon be out of date sitting in your garage, finding a person to take it soon is a good idea. Clothes sitting around develop stains and become unusable.

If I still had our baby gear, the stroller, cot and carseat would all be considered unsafe and unusable because designs and rules have changed.

[pugz]

no way. I would consign or give to someone I know

[h]

We threw everything in the attic after DS2 was done with it, despite being 90% sure we were done at the time, and now I am pregnant with #3 and glad we saved everything. We will need to replace the infant carseat because it is from DS1 and will therefore be 6 years old when this baby is born, but the other gear is fine. I think if I were in your shoes I would save one of everything and unload the rest however you choose, whether that means giving it to a friend, one of the needy coworkers, selling it, etc. I wouldn't worry much about color--I would probably just keep the non-pink version of everything.

And FWIW, I agree that the asking is annoying, and the friend of a friend development would drive me nuts.

[UnderProtest]

Oct 10, 2012 10:26:26 GMT -5 knitty said:

Oct 10, 2012 10:17:46 GMT -5 UnderProtest said:

Okay, now I'm even more irritated. I got an email this morning about the person having twin girls.....she'll take my boy stuff because her friend is having a boy. Uhm, a friend of a friend of a friend??? This is going too far.

In my circles it's actually hard to find someone who needs stuff, so don't be irritated, she thinks she's doing you a favour. And since goodwill won't take most of it, and it will soon be out of date sitting in your garage, finding a person to take it soon is a good idea. Clothes sitting around develop stains and become unusable.

If I still had our baby gear, the stroller, cot and carseat would all be considered unsafe and unusable because designs and rules have changed.

What won't goodwill take? I can see them not taking car seats (salvation army said they would), but what else?

[dr.girlfriend]

I think what they're asking of you is pretty ridiculous, IMHO. It's fine to say "Hey, if you're looking to unload some baby stuff we know someone who can take it off your hands," but the pressure and sob story and giving stuff to a coworker's random friend? You could maybe use it again, you could sell it, you could take the tax donation. People aren't entitled to free stuff from strangers just for procreating.

I gave away all my baby stuff to friends, and once we were sure we were one and done I was happy to have it out of my basement. The fact that you're not ready to let it go tells me you're not decided yet, and you shouldn't be pressured to let it go until you decide.

It sounds like your MIL and her fiance have a warm heart and have made this a personal mission, but they can do other things to help. They shouldn't be strong-arming you for your baby stuff.

[hannamaren]

See I am the opposite. I have so much stuff and all my friends are done having kids. I would rather give it to a person I know (even a friend of a friend) than goodwill. I dont know why. Maybe because I was given a whole bunch of clothes and it was great.

So maybe she really thinks she is helping you.
However, the final decision is yours. If you feel weird, just say "oh, my H cousin is having a girl. So we are going to give it to her"

[niki]

Oct 10, 2012 10:17:46 GMT -5 UnderProtest said:

Okay, now I'm even more irritated. I got an email this morning about the person having twin girls.....she'll take my boy stuff because her friend is having a boy. Uhm, a friend of a friend of a friend??? This is going too far.

Now this is just laughable. Tell them no!

[UnderProtest]

Oct 10, 2012 12:22:21 GMT -5 hannamaren said:

See I am the opposite. I have so much stuff and all my friends are done having kids. I would rather give it to a person I know (even a friend of a friend) than goodwill. I dont know why. Maybe because I was given a whole bunch of clothes and it was great.

So maybe she really thinks she is helping you.
However, the final decision is yours. If you feel weird, just say "oh, my H cousin is having a girl. So we are going to give it to her"

I think it's just the expectation that I will give it all to them. It went from hey if you are done with stuff to a full on expectation that I give everything to them. I do want to clear some space in my house and I'd love to give it to people I know, but these aren't people I know. That's where the cheap thing comes in. If I don't know the people, I'd rather get the tax deduction.

[UnderProtest]

Oct 10, 2012 12:25:33 GMT -5 @ojo said:

Oct 10, 2012 10:17:46 GMT -5 UnderProtest said:

Okay, now I'm even more irritated. I got an email this morning about the person having twin girls.....she'll take my boy stuff because her friend is having a boy. Uhm, a friend of a friend of a friend??? This is going too far.

They're obviously not too hard up if they're not willing to use *gasp* blue items.

Hang on to the stuff until you are more comfortable letting it go.

Yeah, that was my feeling too. If they can be picky about the stuff, they can't need it that bad.

[UnderProtest]

Oct 10, 2012 12:35:45 GMT -5 mishy said:

Oct 10, 2012 12:25:33 GMT -5 @ojo said:

They're obviously not too hard up if they're not willing to use *gasp* blue items.

Hang on to the stuff until you are more comfortable letting it go.

This is a very good point.

I would be very annoyed at the email from the co-worker. I suppose it's possible that your MIL/her fiance phrased things in a way that made it seem like you couldn't wait to have this stuff out of your house, as a way to make them not feel bad or something. But otherwise, the presumptuousness of that email would shut me down. I probably wouldn't give them anything.

This is EXACTLY what I'm feeling right now.

[cjeanette]

Oct 10, 2012 13:56:58 GMT -5 @fivedogs said:

Oct 10, 2012 10:31:53 GMT -5 UnderProtest said:

What won't goodwill take? I can see them not taking car seats (salvation army said they would), but what else?

You can't legally sell cribs sold before June 2011 because they don't meet the new standards. Some places don't want donations of things that commonly get recalled because it is too hard to keep up with them, but this varies.

www.cpsc.gov/onsafety/2011/06/the-new-crib-standard-questions-and-answers/

We couldn't donate our crib bought in 2008. It will go out in the trash on big pick up day.

[gmail]

Pshhh....

Everyone knows that you make an old crib into a desk/bookshelf/bench.






www.lilsugar.com/How-Reuse-Your-Crib-22726226

[mollybrown]

I think you're making this more difficult than it has to be. Email her and TELL her what you're going to give her. Don't even mention the other stuff. Thrift stores absolutely take most items, and even if they didn't, you won't have trouble finding someone on Freecycle or CL to take this stuff off your hands if you get desperate. You will be resentful if you give things away before you're ready, so take some time.

[vanillacourage]

Oct 10, 2012 14:57:38 GMT -5 mollybrown said:

I think you're making this more difficult than it has to be. Email her and TELL her what you're going to give her. Don't even mention the other stuff. Thrift stores absolutely take most items, and even if they didn't, you won't have trouble finding someone on Freecycle or CL to take this stuff off your hands if you get desperate. You will be resentful if you give things away before you're ready, so take some time.

I agree. I would just email her with "I've gone through the things we're ready to pass on and I have A, B and C available. Please let me know if you're interested and if so what time you'd like to come pick them up." Don't even get into the stuff that you're NOT giving up.

[bronxgirl]

I think your ILs have a lot of nerve offering up items that belong to other people. I would only give them items you feel 100% comfortable giving away.