Is it normal or psycho to beg your H to reconsider

[onesweetworld]

Its day 4 today.

I'm going to look at condos in 2 hours.

I am freaked out about living alone with DD in the city. she's always lived in small towns and I haven't lived in Toronto since 2003.

I'm so full of fear and shit which is not me.

I'm telling myself one day at a time but then I get so sad about what ifs and plans I had made for life/family and I panic.

Do you think meds are a good idea? I don't take ADs but maybe something for anxiety? Any recs for short term use?

[roselis]

It's normal. It is a big change. You might want to talk to a psychiatrist or a counselor before going on meds. I do nor recommend going to a primary care doctor for any mental health medication

[doriswe]

I begged my XH to pick me....it was embarrassing and humiliating. Thing is, the man who you are supposed to be with won't need you to beg him to take you back.

Change is scary as hell! I think you said you haven't gotten into counseling yet....I'd strongly recommend you starting. I think it will help you cope with all the changes coming your way. And don't worry about your DD....kids are resilient and if you're okay with it, she'll be okay with it. I promise!!

[bullygirl979]

Completely normal. Your world is turning upside down. If you didn't feel freaked out or scared then I would say something is wrong with you.

As for medication, if you feel you need it, go for it. I had severe panic attacks when separating from my XH and was on anti-anxiety medication as well as a benzo for the panic attacks. Like Lissa said, go see a psychiatrist though, not a primary care doc.

[Bernadine]

I can't remember, are you seeing a counselor? Please, please do if you're not.

What you're feeling is totally normal. I'm sorry hon.

[prettyinpearls]

Completely normal. As others have said, the life you thought you had forever completely changed in an instant. The unknown & change is scary as hell, but it’s happening. Allow yourself to feel these emotions, even if they’re not “you”. It’s completely terrifying and scary, but you’ll get through it. I promise.

I begged XH to stay – and in hindsight, it wasn’t because I wanted HIM. It was because I didn’t want our family unit broken. I knew that XH was a liar and a disgusting cheater. I knew these things going into our marriage and I married him anyway. However, for the first week or so I completely broke down at the thought of our son growing up in a divorced family. I came from a family where my parents were happily married – I didn’t know life any other way and it terrified me that our son would grow up with his dad in one house and his mom in another. Over time, I came to see that our separation/divorce was the best thing. I was a happier and more confident person, and that made me a better mom.

The first two to three weeks were complete and utter hell. I lost 15lbs, I had to take Tylenol PM to get 6 hours of sleep at night, my work suffered, I drifted from my “happily married” friends, etc. However, once I started to get into the right frame of mind I bounced back right away…and twice as strong.

You’ll get there. The entire ride is hell, but it’s all part of this crazy journey.

[glitzyglow]

It's normal. Hell, I'm still scared some days about what the future holds.

One of my biggest regrets though is begging xH to take me back. The moment I acted like I didn't care and was moving on, he came crawling back. That's when I realized he didn't love me and it was simply a power play on his part.

And yeah, see your doctor. This is a tough road and needed help along the way isn't a bad thing.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[hainesherway]

It's normal- it feels like your world is crumbling below you. When I first found out my XH was cheating, I called the doc and asked for anti-anxiety meds to help me sleep. He gave me Lorazepam and it worked wonders. You will get through this!

[usedtobebear]

I think it's totally normal, especially when children are involved. Change can be such a scary time and you are only 4 days in. I still have major anxiety and panic over my divorce. I went to primary care physcian and got a prescription for xanax to take as needed, they definitely help me. Hang in there, it's not an easy road ahead, and the up's and down's are very hard to deal with, ugh!

[explorer2001]

My ex tried to make me change my mind. It is normal. Just , because that feeling is normal and the fear of change is normal, it doesn't make staying in a bad, unhealthy situation right. Hugs.

[kaneen]

I agree that it's normal to feel the way you are feeling. As others have said though, don't beg. Please, please, don't beg. You will only feel worse about yourself afterwards and even if he did come back, you are left with a man you had to beg to stay with you. You don't want that.

[heavenly]

I went through the same thing. I begged my xh to reconsider the divorce right after he told me he hated my personality and never loved me. I was in shock and just couldn't comprehend or believe what was going on because it was sudden.

It was really weird the first couple months alone after him and caring for my at the time 10 month old son. Now it has been almost a year and I absolutly adore my place after I made it my own and DS has been happy chappy through it all. It is a rollercoaster ride, just ride the wave out. It is not easy at first but it will make you stronger.

[formerlyak]

Oct 9, 2012 9:05:09 GMT -5 prettyinpearls said:

I begged XH to stay – and in hindsight, it wasn’t because I wanted HIM. It was because I didn’t want our family unit broken.

This. I remember randomly starting to cry in the aisle of Target when I was picking out new bedding for my new bed. It his me that I was no longer part of the family as I had planned it.

But you power through it and you find a new way to define family and you will find that you are happier than you ever thought you could be.

It's only been 4 days. It takes time. A lot of it.

[audg]

I just wanna hug you right now! I was you exactly this time last year...except for the fact I didn't bed him to stay. But thats cuz I knew he cheated and was a lying, narcisistic mother fucker, so although I went thru a stage where I felt I could grin and bare it to keep my family together..my sadness eventually turned into anger and out of that I realized I deserved better and so do you...don't beg him to stay. Im so sorry you are going thru this ..but unfortunately there is no way of avoiding the pain and anger. Like others have said...please see a therapist as soon as you can..it helps a lot! Also, I was taking xanax at times when I was at my lowest ..but I urge you to take it only if its absolutely necessary, because you need to feel the pain in order to process it and grow from it. Keep posting here...the ladies are wonderfully supportive. ({)