About kids and pets but wwyd ? For all (updated)

[liveintheville]

Our dog has cancer. He has been on and off chemo for over 2 years. About 2 weeks ago he seemed unwell again and we found out at his checkup that he was out of remission again. He started chemo again that day. It's been 10 days since then and he's having gi issues and isn't eating or moving much.

So we realize we may have hit the wall with him. I think we're taking him to the oncologist this afternoon and they may send us to the emergency vet.

They're saying he may perk up with IV fluids. But that may be a temporary fix.

Here's the wwyd part.

Kid 1 turns 5 tomorrow. His party is on Saturday.

We don't want Q to suffer but we don't want to put him down on the kid's birthday. Would you do fluids and reassess after a week? Or deal with the situation now?

The mm part is that keeping him at the emergency vet and treating sepsis will cost roughly $1k based on previous experience.

[GailGoldie]

ooh, that is rough. can you do what you can to keep the dog comfortable and then put him down on thursday? It sucks no matter what, but at least won't be on your child's birthday.

i'm so sorry. it's so hard to make those decisions, and to lose a pet. (((HUGS)))

[dexteroni]

Oh man, I'm so sorry. I would do fluids to get him through the weekend and then reassess on Monday.

[Balki.Bartokomous]

I'll throw my experience out there: When I was in college, we had to put one of our dogs down 2 days after Christmas. It really, really sucked, & even to this day that's what I think of when I think of Christmas, but it's a good feeling to know that he didn't have to suffer any more.

However, I'd personally deal with it now if he's in pain. IMO it's about quality of life for the dog, not $ or the kid's bday, and the kid is 5, so I don't know how much of that they'll remember.

[geneg]

I can't imagine letting an animal suffer. Your kiddo will be devastated no matter when it happens.

[chessie]

It be quality of life thing for the dog. If your going to drop off at the vet, wait a week and you know you have to put them down, I would do it now. I would explain to the kids that the dog is sick. IDK this is a tough one, but people die random times all the time, middle of holidays, bdays, could use it as a learning tool. I am sorry you have to go through this, its tough either way. As a child I did come home after school right as christmas break was letting out, and my dog was not there..my parents had put her down due to old age. It was hard from what I remember, but my parents used it to explain about life, death, etc.

[Pilsy]

I'm sorry.

[mbcdefg]

I'm sorry We put our dog down last year and it still hurts pretty bad.

See what the vet says, and make your decision based on the dog's comfort level and quality of life. It's going to be sad no matter what day it winds up happening, and it wouldn't be fair to the dog to make him hang on just for the sake of a particular date.

I TOTALLY get why you don't want your kid to associate losing the dog with his birthday, but I think it's more important to show him that he needs to be compassionate toward those he loves. And like Balki said, he's 5, so the memory might not be that vivid for him as he grows up.

Talk to the vet and see what'd be best for the dog *hug*

[doxies]

I'm so sorry about your dog.

We actually put our lab to sleep on my daughter's 5th birthday. Our dog was falling apart quite rapidly and we didn't have much choice. It didn't end up being too bad - she was more our dog than the kids' dog, so they weren't as upset as we were. Either way, it didn't end up overshadowing the whole celebration.

Good luck with whatever you end up deciding.

[Deleted]

I would put him to sleep on Thursday. Kids are resilient... Maybe it will be good to have a party afterwards as a distraction?

[greekypie]

No good advice. I'm sorry. losing a pet is hard.

[rikki]

Hugs! I know how much he means to you and I couldn't imagine having to make that decision.

I think that if it were my pet it would hurt too much to see him in a pain and I would probably just allow him to pass now. I really don't know though. Such a tough question.

[dexteroni]

Oh - the dog would have to be in the hospital the entire time? OK, that changes my answer. I was thinking you wanted the dog to be at the party, but if he can't be there, or is in no shape to be there, then it's probably best to let him go now. If you do it on Thursday, your DS will have a couple days to be sad, then there's a fun party. It will probably be a good distraction for him actually.

[Deleted]

I'm so, so sorry.

I'd do it whenever you think is the right time for your dog, regardless of what else happens that day.

[definitelyO]

I'm so sorry - it's a horrible decision to have to make at any time. I would see what the vet says.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. What a hard decision--I don't know what I'd do. Hopefully the answer will be clear after your vet visit.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I would not let the dog suffer. Is there a way you can wait to tell your child until Sunday?

[luvmagoldn]

We had to put a dog down three years ago so I know how tough this is.

If the vet agrees that it is time, I would go ahead and let your dog go now. There really is nothing to be gained by waiting - for the dog or your kids.

I'm so sorry your family has to go through this.

{hugs}

[agnes]

After your appointment today, if it doesn't look good, could you put him down today?

That way it's not actually on his birthday and he has a night to cry his little heart out. But his birthday tomorrow might cheer him up a little?

I don't know...I'm sorry.

[LoveTrains]

I am really sorry to hear this. I know how much your dog means to you and your family.

This type of stuff is really hard. How do you know when its time to say good bye to your pet?

IMO, it all comes down to quality of life for the dog. If the treatment this afternoon is going to prolong his life for days, is that worth it? I would consider putting the dog to sleep this afternoon, depending on what the vet says.

[liveintheville]

Sorry my battery died while we were out.

So he's got an appointment with nevog, the oncologist, at 1:45. I'm glad we'll see them first because they'll tell his odds and such.

If he goes to the er vet he would remain there several hours and possibly overnight but definitely not more than that. And presumably he wouldn't be suffering. He'll get iv fluids, steroids, etc. So he'll be feeling fine but it's not necessarily going to last. Although, last time we did this was about a year ago and he's been fine since.

If he is in pain or discomfort we cannot control then we will definitely do what's necessary.

I guess we just don't know how selfish it is to treat his symptoms just to spend more time with him, when there's no chance of a cure. Again, not keeping him in pain or distress, but continuing with chemo to keep his quality of life up and have more time with him.

[dexteroni]

Oct 9, 2012 10:48:55 GMT -5 liveintheville said:

Sorry my battery died while we were out.

So he's got an appointment with nevog, the oncologist, at 1:45. I'm glad we'll see them first because they'll tell his odds and such.

If he goes to the er vet he would remain there several hours and possibly overnight but definitely not more than that. And presumably he wouldn't be suffering. He'll get iv fluids, steroids, etc. So he'll be feeling fine but it's not necessarily going to last. Although, last time we did this was about a year ago and he's been fine since.

If he is in pain or discomfort we cannot control then we will definitely do what's necessary.

Oh ok, cool. If you can alleviate his pain, then I go back to my first answer of doing fluids to get you past birthday weekend. If you can't, then I would let him go today or Thursday.

But whatever you do this week, I don't think I would continue putting him through chemo.

[LoveTrains]

Oct 9, 2012 10:48:55 GMT -5 liveintheville said:

If he is in pain or discomfort we cannot control then we will definitely do what's necessary.

I guess we just don't know how selfish it is to treat his symptoms just to spend more time with him, when there's no chance of a cure. Again, not keeping him in pain or distress, but continuing with chemo to keep his quality of life up and have more time with him.

that's great he is seeing the oncologist today.

Only you know what is best for your dog. My dog really hated chemo - he got freaked out being at the vet all day and it was very stressful for him to be crated at the vet. In your situation above, I would consider putting my dog to sleep if he had no chance of survival long term.

But only you can make the decision about what is best for you and your family. I am really sorry you are going through this all over again. ({) liveintheville (})

One of my best friends just lost her cat to lymphoma and its been a really hard week for her.

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2012 10:48:55 GMT -5 liveintheville said:

Sorry my battery died while we were out.

So he's got an appointment with nevog, the oncologist, at 1:45. I'm glad we'll see them first because they'll tell his odds and such.

If he goes to the er vet he would remain there several hours and possibly overnight but definitely not more than that. And presumably he wouldn't be suffering. He'll get iv fluids, steroids, etc. So he'll be feeling fine but it's not necessarily going to last. Although, last time we did this was about a year ago and he's been fine since.

If he is in pain or discomfort we cannot control then we will definitely do what's necessary.

I guess we just don't know how selfish it is to treat his symptoms just to spend more time with him, when there's no chance of a cure. Again, not keeping him in pain or distress, but continuing with chemo to keep his quality of life up and have more time with him.

I completley understand what you are saying. And it is such a tough call. I am sorry you are having to even think about it.
You will know when it is time. When his bad days outnumber the good and it sounds like the last time he went through this he responded well. No telling of course how he will respond this time or for how long.
And like previous people said, kids are resilant. If worse came to worse before the weekend I think the party to keep their minds off it might be a blessing.
So sorry you are having to go through this

[Balki.Bartokomous]

Oct 9, 2012 10:48:55 GMT -5 liveintheville said:

I guess we just don't know how selfish it is to treat his symptoms just to spend more time with him, when there's no chance of a cure. Again, not keeping him in pain or distress, but continuing with chemo to keep his quality of life up and have more time with him.

As long as quality of life is there (& you can afford it), I'd continue with the chemo.

Another one of our dogs underwent chemo & it extended her life for a good 4 months. I do not think what we did was selfish since she didn't seem to be in pain. People treat people with terminal illnesses all the time for the sake of spending more time together, with pain, even, and I definitely do not view that as being selfish.

[UnderProtest]

I agree with libgirl. Can you make whatever decision is best for him and then delay telling the kids? Tell the kids he is at the vet (when he was, but to be put down) and then a couple days after the party tell the kids you put him down that day? I know that sounds crappy but they are pretty young so it doesn't seem like they would figure it out and it would spare them the association of his death with the birthday.

[isabel]

I'm so sorry about your pup.

[CloudBee]

I might take him to the vet, have him put down ASAP if that's what they advise to avoid suffering, and just tell the kids "he's at the vet". Then hold off and tell them on say, Sunday or Monday that he didn't make it. This way your son can go through his birthday and party before this hurdle.

If he asks you along the way (after the dog has been put down) how the dog is doing, I would be vague and say "we hope to have more information to tell you in a day or two".

I'm sorry about your pup. It sounds like you did an amazing job keeping him feeling good for 2 yrs. That's a long time for a pooch to live with cancer.

[takeonyou]

No advice other than what everyone else has said, but I am very sorry.

[beefjerky]

I'm sorry We're going through the same thing (cancer) with one of our dogs. I only bring that up because we've been telling the boys what's been going on and they know that P is "sick" - I'm guessing your kiddo knows that the pup isn't doing well? You need to do what's right for your family and your dog - good luck at the oncologist this afternoon, hopefully they can shed some light on the situation. So sorry.