First online date...nervous!

[emma245]

I have never had an online date and I do tonight. I am freaking the heck out like a nervous wreck. Any tips to ease the online anxiety?

How do you overcome that awkward moment of finding the person at the bar? Ive cancelled twice already because of nerves.....

[achase123]

I actually usually have a glass of wine beforehand. There's no getting around it, they are usually awkward, especially at first.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

I always try to remember to keep expectations low. This might sound defeatist but in my experience blind dates/online dates don't generally go THAT well.

[Deleted]

I totally know the feeling! It is always going to be a bit awkward at first, but then it usually ends up being okay. Go in with an exit plan in mind. That always makes me feel better knowing I have an easy way to get out of the situation if needed.

[emma245]

Oct 9, 2012 11:45:42 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I totally know the feeling! It is always going to be a bit awkward at first, but then it usually ends up being okay. Go in with an exit plan in mind. That always makes me feel better knowing I have an easy way to get out of the situation if needed.

Oh wow an exit plan like a work emergency?? I dont have a child or pet so thats not going to work.....

AChase, I def plan on the glass of wine! I just get soooo nervous on dates. Im pretty social so its really weird but I get terrible anxiety even when Ive met the person let alone online

[doriswe]

I just try to pretend I'm just meeting a new client at work...I have to meet new people all the time and it takes some of the pressure off.

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2012 11:47:46 GMT -5 emma245 said:

Oct 9, 2012 11:45:42 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I totally know the feeling! It is always going to be a bit awkward at first, but then it usually ends up being okay. Go in with an exit plan in mind. That always makes me feel better knowing I have an easy way to get out of the situation if needed.

Oh wow an exit plan like a work emergency?? I dont have a child or pet so thats not going to work.....

AChase, I def plan on the glass of wine! I just get soooo nervous on dates. Im pretty social so its really weird but I get terrible anxiety even when Ive met the person let alone online

I'm the same way about the anxiety I totally get it. We all saw my date freak out a few weeks ago. For the exit plan, it doesn't have to be something elaborate, but I always practice in my head what I would say if I felt uncomfortable or awkward. Something as simple as "Well, thank you for inviting me out, but I have an early morning and need to head out now." It just made me feel more calm.

And honestly while we do focus on the horror stories (because they are hilarious and bizarre) I think that's actually a small percentage of people's experiences. I think the vast majority are decent to meh.

[emma245]

Oct 9, 2012 11:50:25 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Oct 9, 2012 11:47:46 GMT -5 emma245 said:

Oh wow an exit plan like a work emergency?? I dont have a child or pet so thats not going to work.....

AChase, I def plan on the glass of wine! I just get soooo nervous on dates. Im pretty social so its really weird but I get terrible anxiety even when Ive met the person let alone online

I think I just have really really bad insecurity issues and Im scared of a date saying something like "youre fat or ugly or boring" I know Im being totally insane but this is the way I think!
I'm the same way about the anxiety I totally get it. We all saw my date freak out a few weeks ago. For the exit plan, it doesn't have to be something elaborate, but I always practice in my head what I would say if I felt uncomfortable or awkward. Something as simple as "Well, thank you for inviting me out, but I have an early morning and need to head out now." It just made me feel more calm.

And honestly while we do focus on the horror stories (because they are hilarious and bizarre) I think that's actually a small percentage of people's experiences. I think the vast majority are decent to meh.

[jade28]

I was terribly nervous at first but the more you do it, the less it becomes a big deal. I would drink a glass of wine beforehand for sure. I also just would go into it with the mentality of hanging out and seeing what happens versus a date with all this pressure. In fact for the first dates, I always treated them like a friend.

Also, I would always get most nervous trying to find someone in a bar so I text beforehand what I am wearing so they can find me haha. I think the worst part is trying to find the person. Also, just say beforehand you only have an hour or two before you have to be home. That way there is a limit and you aren't stuck forever with someone. No need to be specific.

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2012 11:54:44 GMT -5 emma245 said:

I think I just have really really bad insecurity issues and Im scared of a date saying something like "youre fat or ugly or boring" I know Im being totally insane but this is the way I think!

Yes you are insane! hahahaha. No I totally get it. But trust you are neither fat, nor ugly nor boring.

[Bernadine]

Definitely a glass of wine beforehand.

And pdx makes a good point- although there were guys I didn't click with, none of my dates were horrible.

[achase123]

Oct 9, 2012 12:10:26 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Oct 9, 2012 11:54:44 GMT -5 emma245 said:

I think I just have really really bad insecurity issues and Im scared of a date saying something like "youre fat or ugly or boring" I know Im being totally insane but this is the way I think!

Yes you are insane! hahahaha. No I totally get it. But trust you are neither fat, nor ugly nor boring.

OMG you are gorgeous! Know it, own it, and walk in there with CONFIDENCE!

Is it bad that I never worry what they'll think of me? This just doesn't cross my mind, I always worry about what I'll think of them.

[emma245]

Oct 9, 2012 12:12:21 GMT -5 achase123 said:

Oct 9, 2012 12:10:26 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Yes you are insane! hahahaha. No I totally get it. But trust you are neither fat, nor ugly nor boring.

OMG you are gorgeous! Know it, own it, and walk in there with CONFIDENCE!

Is it bad that I never worry what they'll think of me? This just doesn't cross my mind, I always worry about what I'll think of them.

No you are pretty much my idol because I am the polar opposite! I wish I had more self confidence. I think its a deep engrained issue that was worsened by my EXH. Ill give a report in the AM on how it goes....

[redredwine]

Oct 9, 2012 11:50:25 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Oct 9, 2012 11:47:46 GMT -5 emma245 said:

Oh wow an exit plan like a work emergency?? I dont have a child or pet so thats not going to work.....

AChase, I def plan on the glass of wine! I just get soooo nervous on dates. Im pretty social so its really weird but I get terrible anxiety even when Ive met the person let alone online

I'm the same way about the anxiety I totally get it. We all saw my date freak out a few weeks ago. For the exit plan, it doesn't have to be something elaborate, but I always practice in my head what I would say if I felt uncomfortable or awkward. Something as simple as "Well, thank you for inviting me out, but I have an early morning and need to head out now." It just made me feel more calm.

And honestly while we do focus on the horror stories (because they are hilarious and bizarre) I think that's actually a small percentage of people's experiences. I think the vast majority are decent to meh.

Go with a glass of wine before hand...works wonders for the nerves!

And I've never needed an exit plan, so I wouldn't worry too much. We either have drinks or dinner and then end it or continue based on a mutal feeling. I'd just see how it goes.

Don't worry TOO Much and like Achase said, don't have any expectations.

Most importantly-come back with an update!!