You guys are right...I'm sorry :(

[rocknruin72]

I know I need to try to let go more and ignore what my ex does, but it's so hard when my children are involved. I hope you understand. I'm not trying to be crazy, and I don't want to sound that way, but I want the best for my kids and I don't think they're getting that right now. It makes me so angry.

[achase123]

This is a normal process to go through. Just know that you need to work on this (through therapy, with talking to friends, reading books about divorcing with children, etc). We'll give you tough love and it's up to you whether or not to follow our advice. I think admitting that you know it's a problem is a very big step!

[naeljun]

The sooner you let go of trying to maintain control, the better you will feel. Trust me.

[doriswe]

I think a lot of us really understand what you're going through....it's hard as hell and no one is going to fault you for feeling the way you do. But it's soooo unhealthy to focus your attention on him and his shit....you need to focus on improving your life and the lives of your kids. If your kids are safe, and it seems like they are, you have to let it go.

One of the best things I ever did for MYSELF is to stop having expectations of XH. He's never going to parent the way I want him to. Once I was able to let that go, I could breathe a lot easier.

(hugs)

[rocknruin72]

How do you just become "okay" with your ex not being a good parent? Don't you wonder if your kids are going to be screwed up? I feel so guilty all of the time.

[doriswe]

Oct 9, 2012 12:49:15 GMT -5 @rocknruin72 said:

How do you just become "okay" with your ex not being a good parent? Don't you wonder if your kids are going to be screwed up? I feel so guilty all of the time.

You have to do the best you can when they're with you and trust that they're resiliant. You make sure they have the tools to be productive human beings. You get them into counseling, if need be. You go to counseling and work through things so you don't project your fears on them.

[naeljun]

Oct 9, 2012 12:49:15 GMT -5 @rocknruin72 said:

How do you just become "okay" with your ex not being a good parent? Don't you wonder if your kids are going to be screwed up? I feel so guilty all of the time.

Just because he doesn't parent the same as you or as you would like, does not make him a bad parent. Just different. You just have to be sure that you stick to what you say you are going to do and be consistent with the children.