Sort of @, polite way to say adults only 4 shower?

[Deleted]

Just put the grown-up's name on the invitation. If people respond with "Little Susie and I are happy to attend!" tell them that you're sorry, but it is adults only.

[Deleted]

It may not be polite but I went to a shower recently that was totally ruined by this kid whose mother refused to watch it. She actually thought it was funny to have her toddler "help" open the presents. Just say "adults only." It's sad people have to be told that but I'd rather be slightly rude than have a crappy party.

[winnied]

I definitely thought this post was going to be about hosting guests and only letting the adult guests use your shower.

My assumption doesn't make any sense.

NQB and V's advice was good. I think it's best to write "adults only" ultimately because people don't even tell you when they bring kids most of the time.

[Pilsy]

I definitely agree with nipping it in the bud if anyone mentions a munchkin attendee when responding. And definitely address it to the actual invitee only, no doubt.

If you are really worried about it, NQB's idea is good. If you trust these people not to be dense, you could also do something more subtle, such as referring to the party (in the invitation) as a Ladies Luncheon or Ladies Tea or whatever.

How many of the guests have kids? Most or just a few?

[hannamaren]

Oct 10, 2012 10:21:56 GMT -5 winnied said:

I definitely thought this post was going to be about hosting guests and only letting the adult guests use your shower.

My assumption doesn't make any sense.

NQB and V's advice was good. I think it's best to write "adults only" ultimately because people don't even tell you when they bring kids most of the time.

I thought the same thing about bathing.

I think you need to write "adults only" To me, showers include kids so I wouldnt automatically think my name only means just me like I would with a wedding.

[mbcdefg]

Even if you only include the adult's name on the invite, I'm thinking that there will be people who will still bring along a small kid. I know it's poor etiquette, but if you're dead-set on adults only then just print Adults Only at the bottom.

Oct 10, 2012 10:19:50 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

She actually thought it was funny to have her toddler "help" open the presents.

That's one of my biggest pet peeves about showers. The last one I went to had about seven little kids crowded around the mom-to-be and manhandling all the gifts ... MTB didn't seem to mind at all, but I was getting antsy just watching it.

[jennistarr1]

I would just say adults only...I don't even have kids and I don't mind kids at a baby shower, it's usually such a family event to me I assume they'll be included. Good to hear other's perspectives

[Deleted]

Cute invite. I think you should write "Adults Only Please~" at the bottom. The "please" makes it more polite..lol.

[Deleted]

Wait...why are you throwing a baby shower for her 2nd kid?

[mbcdefg]

Oct 10, 2012 10:25:21 GMT -5 swizzlestx said:

Oct 10, 2012 10:22:54 GMT -5 Pilsy said:

How many of the guests have kids? Most or just a few?

The majority. This is SIL's 2nd (yeah yeah, I know) and most of her friends have 2 as well.

I also think, in SIL's circle, kids are usually brought to everything but she doesn't want them at her party, so she asked me if there was a nice way to say that.

Who is watching SIL's 1st kid? She can always include a note saying something like, "Kid1 will be at home with my husband/mom. Your spouse/sitter is more than welcome to join them with your kids if you want!"

[chessie]

Spell it out adults only, people don't seem to catch on for little hints. I recall for my bridal shower my MOH having to spell it out for people. I know some circles allow kids to everything, but ours does not, you bring a kid that an extra $ amount completely at the place.

[mbcdefg]

Oct 10, 2012 10:27:45 GMT -5 @missy1 said:

Wait...why are you throwing a baby shower for her 2nd kid?

I actually never heard that this was so against etiquette until the Nest. I've known plenty of people who had a shower for Kid2+, albeit they were usually smaller than their showers for Kid1.

[CloudBee]

I would put in italics at the bottom "Adults only - cheers!"

[h]

Are you sure people will assume kids can come? I don't assume that my kids are invited anywhere unless someone explicitly includes their name on an invite or comes right out and tells me to bring them. I have been to a billion baby showers, and not one has ever included kids, aside from maybe a tiny newborn that sleeps in the mom's arms the whole time.

If you think people will bring kids and v's subtle approach really won't work, then I guess you just have to come right out and say "adults only." It would annoy me to have to say that, though. Guests really should know better than to bring people who aren't on the invite.

[flamingeaux]

Oh send Dads and kids to meet at the park or zoo
and Moms to the party address.

[Deleted]

Oct 10, 2012 10:25:21 GMT -5 swizzlestx said:

Oct 10, 2012 10:22:54 GMT -5 Pilsy said:

How many of the guests have kids? Most or just a few?

The majority. This is SIL's 2nd (yeah yeah, I know) and most of her friends have 2 as well.

I also think, in SIL's circle, kids are usually brought to everything but she doesn't want them at her party, so she asked me if there was a nice way to say that.

Since most have kids, and the shower may be a welcome break from said kids, I wonder if you could frame it as "an afternoon for the grown-ups" or something like that. I don't like my wording there, but you could probably find a way that isn't as forward as "adults only" that puts a positive spin on the fact that kids won't be there.

[countthestars]

i love that invite!

[Deleted]

"Come enjoy a break from the kids."

I know this has already been said, but really, I would have a hard time being part of this at all. A party to celebrate second kid, fine. But a shower? Where you can't bring kids even though SIL already has one and all her friends have them. I would just decline the invitation, even though I strongly believe in celebrating the arrival of any child - regardless of birth order. I just don't think it should be done in shower form. The games are the nail in the coffin for me.

ETA: Please tell me there's no registry.

[Mrs.Beagle]

I think Adults Only Please is fine.

No matter what you write, people will get offended. Might as well make is as clear as possible.

[Deleted]

I don't see the harm in a 2nd shower either. If everyone in the group expects it and will enjoy it, I don't think standard etiquette rules really apply. I'd happily attend a 2nd shower of a close friend or family member, any excuse to get together and eat and have fun is fine with me! I may spend less on a gift I guess but maybe not, too!

I think "no kids, please" is fine.

[mrshabious]

Good luck, I had a ladies only 50 Shades of Grey themed "naughty" party and even with that, I was asked if someone's kids could come. Thankfully the it is against the rules of the company selling the goods, so it was an easy out.

[dexteroni]

It sounds like this issue has been settled satisfactorily. "Adults only" is fine and succinct. Why dance around it with "afternoon for the grownups" or "enjoy a break from the kids" or any other bs? I think people automatically assume that kids are welcome at baby showers, so IMO it's best to be as direct as possible.

And lol at the people who thought gypsy's poem was serious. And lol at those who are so super offended by this party. Good heavens people.

ETA: Although I do like Cloudbee's additon of "cheers!" It's festive but still to the point.

[hannamaren]

I was going to suggest "Ladies only" but I am one of the dumb ones to think that would include daughters.

[countthestars]

I don't get all the second shower hate either. I probably wouldn't do it, but a ton of girls on my FB have "sprinkles" which are another shower for the second baby. I just can't see getting my panties in a wad (or backing out of a shower for my sister because I was too high and mighty for it).

[Deleted]

Oct 10, 2012 12:38:51 GMT -5 countthestars said:

I don't get all the second shower hate either. I probably wouldn't do it, but a ton of girls on my FB have "sprinkles" which are another shower for the second baby. I just can't see getting my panties in a wad (or backing out of a shower for my sister because I was too high and mighty for it).

I'll tell you one thing -- I'd be much happier if a friend had a second shower rather than a "sprinkle." The word "sprinkle" drives me up the wall

That said, showers aren't typically my scene (particularly if they're in places I have to drive to so I can't drink myself silly -- which have been the case at all but one shower I've been to... the one where I drank approximately 9 bottles of wine was plenty of fun), so while I'm happy to go to one for a friend, I'd prefer to not have to do it over again a few years later.

[drloretta]

There's no polite way to say it. But if you must, just say adults only and call it a day. But be prepared for someone to bring their precious angel anyway...

[dochas]

Oct 10, 2012 10:35:36 GMT -5 h said:

Are you sure people will assume kids can come? I don't assume that my kids are invited anywhere unless someone explicitly includes their name on an invite or comes right out and tells me to bring them. I have been to a billion baby showers, and not one has ever included kids, aside from maybe a tiny newborn that sleeps in the mom's arms the whole time.

If you think people will bring kids and v's subtle approach really won't work, then I guess you just have to come right out and say "adults only." It would annoy me to have to say that, though. Guests really should know better than to bring people who aren't on the invite.

I don't assume this either - we are in the minority!

[sh10]

I think "Adults Only Please" is fine. On another note, in my current town (Central PA), second and third etc baby showers are the norm. Where I grew up (Midwest) you only get one. I think it must be a regional thing.

[MadamePresident]

I have a shower invite by my fridge that says:
Ladies only, please contact "host" if you need childcare arrangements.

[Deleted]

Random--I hate it when I do bring my kid to a shower and the hostess suggests he *help* open gifts. Dude, I don't want him to help. It will be a PITA for me. I want to sit and eat cake and watch the guest of honor open gifts without worrying my kid is being a pest.