budget after divorce?

[makingithappen]

Would you be able to live with this if this was all your money including minimal child support? Divorce is just a possiblity and I don't want to write it off from financial fears

rent $500
car ins/maint $85
utilities $225
st loan $189
gas $175
kids $950
food $225
misc $100
life ins $35
medical $50

Sorry to post and run but about to head to lunch and will be back.

[Kore]

What's your income?

[CloudBee]

It completely depends on income. How much do you bring in per month?

If we answered for ourselves, that would be no help to you.

[winnied]

Could you break down what comes out of "kids?"

Is there someone you could live with while you save up some money? If this is truly an entire paycheck and you have zero in savings, I would be worried for you.

[Deleted]

How many kids?

[LoveTrains]

I think since she said "this was all your money" that the sum of all the budget line items = income.

[Deleted]

None of that seems unreasonable, but without knowing your income it is hard to say. The utilities seem a little high for a place that is only $500 a month, I assume the place will be fairly small and shouldn't cost much to heat/cool so that may be a high estimate. That would be high for our 1600 square foot house, at least.

Ditto the suggestion about your student loan payment being reduced, you could probably get on an income based plan and pay very little. I think the income based option is something like 15% of your monthly income and I believe it gets reduced further if you have dependents (but IDK for sure since I don't have any myself)

[formerlyak]

I'd see if you could defer your student loans for a bit and talk to the child care provider (which is what I assume a lot of the "kids" category goes to) to see if they will give you financial aid. When I went through my divorce, my daycare director gave me full day care at the half day rate for 6 months so I had a little time to get on my feet. I was embarrassed to ask about it, but was glad I did. It was very helpful.

[makingithappen]

Current income is ~$2100/month. 2 kids, 1 is school age. The bulk of the kids line is daycare with another $275 for formula, diapers, presents, school lunch, field trips, sports, anything. The house is family owned and I'd get a rent break; it should go for at least $1200. I'd hope to get $350 C/S for the baby and kid 1's dad is not currently paying anything although he's ordered $250. I'm going to have to fight harder for it.
Current income also includes my 401k deduction of 6% with full match. There is some savings, but it's what I've accumulated on my own and I'm tempted to pay it on my student loans instead of splitting it.

[makingithappen]

I don't have any medical issues and neither does kid 1. Kid 2 has had a very bad year but seems to be doing much better. He still has several appts, but they have excellent insurance with $13 copays. I have a seperate, terrible plan but never usually have to go to the dr

[makingithappen]

Oct 10, 2012 12:16:16 GMT -5 Catlawdy said:

You might be able to get WIC to cover the formula and I'd look into whether or not you could get a subsidy for the child care (DSS here has some funds available for that depending on income).

I've looked up both. I'd qualify for WIC if I did not receive any child support and the daycare subsidy max income is $2077 for 3. Sucks that I'm broke enough to barely make it but have too much for anything.

[ondaflipside]

I have nothing to add. I just wish the best for you and your kids.

[formerlyak]

You may also want to look into the school lunch program. In our district there is a sliding scale thing that if you make a certain amount you don't qualify for other aid, but you qualify for 2 meals a week or something like that. Every little bit helps.

Also, I assume that the younger child goes to a private child care facility or preschool? If so, again I suggest talking with the director and asking if they offer financial aid.

[Deleted]

Based on my state's guidelines, your school age student would qualify for free lunches. It would help a little.

[makingithappen]

Oct 10, 2012 12:22:25 GMT -5 ondaflipside said:

I have nothing to add. I just wish the best for you and your kids.

Thanks. I don't really want it to come to this, but he's really pushing me to that point.

Reduced school lunches are def something to consider.

If I get my st loan deferred or reduced, I can still pay it if I want to, right? I don't like the idea of the interest building, but I could reduce it and pay it if I have the money and if I hit a bad month I'd just skip it and it wouldn't affect my credit.

[schrodinger]

Oct 10, 2012 12:13:23 GMT -5 makingithappen said:

Current income is ~$2100/month. 2 kids, 1 is school age. The bulk of the kids line is daycare with another $275 for formula, diapers, presents, school lunch, field trips, sports, anything. The house is family owned and I'd get a rent break; it should go for at least $1200. I'd hope to get $350 C/S for the baby and kid 1's dad is not currently paying anything although he's ordered $250. I'm going to have to fight harder for it.
Current income also includes my 401k deduction of 6% with full match. There is some savings, but it's what I've accumulated on my own and I'm tempted to pay it on my student loans instead of splitting it.

Are you getting CS + a certain percentage for daycare? Most court-orders include a line item for regular support as well as care (i.e. father pays 50% of daycare). It might be worth it to get your CO modified for it since it should include before/after school care as well. Good luck!

[glynn2009]

I did it with less income for many years. You need to stay on top of the CS you are owed. My kids are 18 and 20 this year and I finally no longer have to deal with their dad. I lived like I had nothing even when I was working extra so I had money when things got bad. My kids were able to get reduced lunch until high school and once we were about to get food stamps when I was layed off for a few months. Take help when you can get it but cut back on nicer things now. Things I did was to turn the AC up to as warm as we could stand it in the summer and down as far as we could stand it in the winter. We did not eat meat for years and did not eat out. We did not have cable at times and I keep lights in the house off. Staying on the CS is the biggest thing that you can do to help and in my state that is free to go through the CS division. The min he got behind I would start calling them asking for a court date, sometimes he would pay but often we went to court with no cost to me and I would get a little money coing again. If you have a judgement in my state you can get his taxes from the IRS and his DL pulled. I had my EX in court so many times it was not funny and in jail once. He is a cop........ in another state. Document everything....

[hocus]

That is a really low food budget for 3 people, even if 2 of them are kids. Could you do it? Maybe. But unless you've got savings and way to replenish savings you're one crisis away from having issues.

[makingithappen]

Oct 10, 2012 15:15:32 GMT -5 Catlawdy said:

Oct 10, 2012 12:20:02 GMT -5 makingithappen said:

I've looked up both. I'd qualify for WIC if I did not receive any child support and the daycare subsidy max income is $2077 for 3. Sucks that I'm broke enough to barely make it but have too much for anything.

Doesn't sound like you're actually receiving child support, it's just been awarded to you. Does your state's guidelines take that into account?

I'm not actually receiving C/S for the one that's it's ordered but I'd hope to recieve it for the other if we do in fact get divorced. Kid 1 has over 16k in arrears and our DHR is ridiculous. I'm going to try to get his taxes this year, but they didn't do it last year.

[cjeanette]

Oct 10, 2012 15:28:12 GMT -5 makingithappen said:

Oct 10, 2012 15:15:32 GMT -5 Catlawdy said:

Doesn't sound like you're actually receiving child support, it's just been awarded to you. Does your state's guidelines take that into account?

I'm not actually receiving C/S for the one that's it's ordered but I'd hope to recieve it for the other if we do in fact get divorced. Kid 1 has over 16k in arrears and our DHR is ridiculous. I'm going to try to get his taxes this year, but they didn't do it last year.

This is crap. In my state you are required to go through the state trustee so they can make sure you get paid. They will do weekend jail if they have to.

If you apply from WIC or anything like that they will go after the CS or help you do so in my experience.

[makingithappen]

Oct 10, 2012 15:09:57 GMT -5 glynn2009 said:

I did it with less income for many years. You need to stay on top of the CS you are owed. My kids are 18 and 20 this year and I finally no longer have to deal with their dad. I lived like I had nothing even when I was working extra so I had money when things got bad. My kids were able to get reduced lunch until high school and once we were about to get food stamps when I was layed off for a few months. Take help when you can get it but cut back on nicer things now. Things I did was to turn the AC up to as warm as we could stand it in the summer and down as far as we could stand it in the winter. We did not eat meat for years and did not eat out. We did not have cable at times and I keep lights in the house off. Staying on the CS is the biggest thing that you can do to help and in my state that is free to go through the CS division. The min he got behind I would start calling them asking for a court date, sometimes he would pay but often we went to court with no cost to me and I would get a little money coing again. If you have a judgement in my state you can get his taxes from the IRS and his DL pulled. I had my EX in court so many times it was not funny and in jail once. He is a cop........ in another state. Document everything....

That's pretty much how it will be for the next while, I think. For kid 1, his dad has gone to court 3 times so far and he'll show up with maybe $150 after not paying for a year. That's not even 1 month's worth. They'll tell him that if he gets 30 days behind that they'll automatically issue a warrant but he never gets put in jail. i've called multiple times but no one will answer a phone; you have to go up in person and leave a written message for them to mail you a message in return. It's ridiculous. i've also tried to get his amount raised because he should be ordered ~$300 instead of $187 (he has $63 added for arrears) and my worker actually told me that if he's not paying now how do I expect to get more. His order is based on minimum wage below the current federal level and no childcare. He owes enough in arrears to completely pay off my student loans.

[glynn2009]

Stay on it with proof and back-up on everything. The judge will get tired of seeing you in the ccourts. I had to chase my ex through 2 states and 3 counties to get what he owed the kids. Read up and know the law and ask your caseworker why this does not apply in your case. Yeah, I believe I pissed off my caseworker a few times but the kids needed the money so I will fight for them. If your worker will not do something go above their head to the superviser. I called so many times to our child support office they knew who I was when I called without asking. My office moved in front of the CS office for a few years and I would get visit them then daily and they finally decide to help me. I would do it all again and I was not even owed what you are. When EX figures out that you are not playing around he will start paying. I had 5 years that he never missed a payment after the day in jail but I still had to fight for medical bills until my DD turned 18 this year.

[schrodinger]

You should post this on Single Parents or Blended Families on The Bump. There are lots of folks with experience in getting CS cases pushed through over there. Someone might have some insight into your state's laws/policies that could help. No one should have to fight this hard to get the support they are legally entitled to.